Part i

I was walking through a field of tall grasses and wildflowers. The sun was shining through light, fluffy clouds and the air smelled fresh. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes, thinking of you and only you. When I opened them, there you were; you were standing a few feet from me under an old willow tree. You weren’t looking at me, but you were smiling. Your clothes were light and airy, your hair a frayed mess; you were thinking of something…and it wasn’t about me. In that moment, I could feel my heart breaking. I knew you loved me, but you had no idea I was there; so close to you…all it took were a few steps and I would be able to hold your hand again. Yet, you still had no idea that I was even there. It was as if I didn’t exist. Why? I loved you, too. Why can’t you just turn your head slightly and see me?

I woke again.

Sehun rolled onto his back and stretched out his limbs. Sunlight drifted in through his curtains, and for a moment, he remembered the beautiful, yet disturbing dream he had had the night before. He didn’t want to get up for his bed felt the most comfortable it had ever felt in days. School and work had begun to take their toll on the young man and he could feel the effects throughout every bone in his body.

He grumbled and he groaned and he crawled out of his warm cocoon of blankets. Another day, another dollar; it was all in the hard work where he would soon be able to reap the benefits of what he had sewn. He shook his head to straighten out his hair, and made his way to getting dressed.

The darkness encircled everything. I was running, but it wasn’t to you. It was away from you. The sky was dark, the lights from the city muting the stars in the sky. Those were the stars we used to count together in the summer. You were chasing after me, but you had no intentions of loving me. You wanted to hurt me. I wanted to love you, but you scared me. I glanced back, and saw you gaining distance on me. Your honey colored hair was a mess, but not a happy mess. I felt the emotions cram in my throat, choking me. Your eyes were red, watery. Not from tears, but from something else. I didn’t know what. I couldn’t thin k straight. I ran into a wall, and you cornered me.

The buzzing of the florescent lights woke Sehun from his nap. He was at work, but there was nothing to do. If only there was something interesting on the old, boxy television to watch, he would not have been dreaming. He had been having the oddest of dreams for nights in a row. He knew what was happening, to an extent, but he had no idea who he was with, or where he was in these dreams. It was the weekend, so the little shop he worked at, in the middle of nowhere, barely had any customers. This is why Sehun fell asleep so much. All the shelves were stocked, and the manager left him in charge for the day. His manager liked to leave on the weekends to spend it with his family, which was both good and bad for Sehun.

Sehun stretched his aching muscles, and stood up off his metal stool. The florescent lights flickered some more, and gave the tiny shop a spooky feeling. He was in the middle of the country, on an old dusty county road that barely anyone knew about, but he was happy here. He was on his own, with no one to bother him, and no one to tell him what to do. Customers came and went at certain times of the day, but with it being a Sunday afternoon, there was no one who needed canned foods or fishing equipment.

The aisles were spotless, minus the scratches in the linoleum flooring that were already there. Sehun walked these aisles every time he worked, looking for something to do, something to clean. The other day, he had actually taken each product off the shelves and dusted their tops. Setting the cans and bottles back on the shelf, with each label facing forward, Sehun knew that there literally was nothing else that could be done to keep himself busy. Maybe this is why he fell asleep so much, because it was too quiet, too comfortable. The old television needed to be replaced, with actual cable on it, but neither Sehun nor the shop owner wanted to bother with the maintenance. The old t.v. gave them exactly what they needed: the news, and the weather. Both of which Sehun got tired of quickly.

Every product was in its place. Sehun looked around the quiet shop and sighed. He loved working there, but he needed something to keep him from falling asleep again. He would do anything to keep from having these dreams about…him. Sehun didn’t even know who this guy was, or why he felt he loved him. It didn’t matter, because he would do anything to keep himself from falling asleep again and seeing him over and over. The last dream had been terrible. Just then, the little bell above the door jingled, signaling someone had entered the shop. It was a good thing that Sehun was already up and awake, looking busy, just in case. The shop owner would come in once and a while to check on things, especially on days that he left Sehun in charge.

However, the person who entered was not his boss, but a customer. Who would come to this little shop in the afternoon? Everyone was out on this nice day enjoying themselves, not shopping. At least it gave Sehun something to do, and someone to talk to. Sehun greeted the customer, and asked if he needed any help looking for something in mind. The customer shook his head, the dark colored hair bounced with the movement. He smiled at Sehun slightly. Sehun went back to his stool at the register, and flipped through the magazine he had read a dozen times before, so as not to bother the customer while he shopped. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched the man walking the aisles, as if he were the new Sehun that did this every day. The customer stopped and looked at each product, each can, and examined the shelves for whatever it was he needed. The florescent lights flickered again, and this time they buzzed and hummed. The otherwise silence was awkward.

Sehun judged that this man didn’t need any fishing supplies, which may have been why he walked passed them. But, the man seemed to be looking for something to eat, rather, as he was checking the labels on the cans. Sehun cleared his throat and asked the man if he was looking for a snack. The man nodded, and continued looking. He commented on the cleanliness of the store, and complimented Sehun on his tending to it. Sehun grunted thanks in reply, and went back to the magazine. There was a damp spot on the pages.

If the man needed something in a can, he did not get it. Instead, he walked over to the small freezer and picked out an ice-cream. It was a hot day, so this made some sense to Sehun. This was all the man wanted to purchase, and with his ice-cream in hand, he made his way to Sehun and the cash register. Sehun told the man his total of a dollar and some change, the man paid, and he was on his way out the door, the small bell jingling his exit. After cashing his only customer out that afternoon, Sehun walked the aisles some more, looking at each thing the man had touched. Each can was put back the wrong way, a sign that he had looked at it. Sehun straightened them out once again.

There was something familiar in the way the man had come in and walked around his shop. Sehun didn’t know what it was, and it unsettled him. Did he steal something while Sehun wasn’t looking? Everything was put back where it belonged, save for the wrong way it faced. But, Sehun still felt unsettled, and so he made his way to the back room where the security cameras were set up. He didn’t get a good look at the man, but he remembered his hair color, and the way it looked full and lively. Sehun wanted to watch the security footage to calm his nerves. Sehun would normally sit in the back and watch all the other customers while his boss ran the shop. It was fun for the moment, until his boss would yell at him to get back to work. That, at least, kept him awake. Since there was only one customer that day, there wasn’t much to watch. The man was that unsettling that Sehun needed to look again, to get a better picture.

The little black and white box showed the events of the day in reverse. Sehun watched over and over the man who had come into the shop and walked around. He didn’t take anything, except his ice-cream, and then left. There was nothing unusual about the footage, and there was nothing unusual about the man. Sehun sighed and walked back out into the shop. There was a loud buzz from the farthest wall that meant the air conditioner had . Sehun remembered that they installed it last summer when there were 100 degree days.

Sehun went home that evening after his boss returned. The old man gave him a pat on the back and sent him on his way. The next day, he would return to his studies and most likely fall asleep in class. The younger man from the shop was on his mind again, and he didn’t know whether to feel unsettled or confused or anxious. Will he ever see this man again? Or was he just stopping by for some ice-cream? Sehun didn’t know, or understand. He returned to his house and crawled into bed, burrowing under his tan sheets. Maybe there will be some answers in his dreams tonight.

I was sweating, you were sweating, too. It was hot outside, and we were by a green creek. There were many tall, looming trees that gave us shade; the wind would come and go, swaying in itself. The sky was open, sun shining too bright, birds singing their pink songs. You asked me to go into the water with you, and I said no. I wanted to rest against the itchy grass and hold you by my side. You squirmed away from me, and jumped into the water without another thought. I laid back and let you enjoy yourself; I was enjoying myself, too. We had no cares in the world on this bright day. We were happy together, and I hope we remained that way.

Sehun woke with the bed sheets clinging to his back. The sweat was sticky and unscented, but that was the least of his worries. He remembered the dream the night before; what had it meant; who was it that he was with?