“I love you so much it feels like my bones are breaking”

The room goes silent at Daehyun’s words, the weight of it hitting everyone in the room. It's not even the content it's the tone, dark and heavy.

Junhong looks up and Himchan and Youngjae are stunned into a silence, Youngjae’s smile has dropped off his face. Yongguk has looked up from his fingers, face tense. Jongup’s stopped tossing the ball in his hands.

Junhong is glad the video feed is probably grainy. It would be worse if their reactions were being broadcasted in high definition. His own face wears a frown, but he knows he’s being blocked by Daehyun’s head.

There's a pain in Junhong’s chest and without thinking he stretches forward and wraps his long arms around Daehyun and hugs as tight as he can and makes a noise before he realizes they're still on camera. He can feel how tense Daehyun is and wishes he could see his face. What prompted that response he doesn't know.

He hears Daehyun say with a laugh, empty and strained, trying, “I don’t know why he’s being like this.”

Himchan and Youngjae pick up instantly and play it off as Junhong loving gags and he notices how Youngjae motions for Jongup to stand up and wonders if Youngjae’s trying to use Jongup as a distraction for the viewers.

The Vlive broadcast runs smoothly afterwards, Jongup even going the extra mile to toss a pillow into Daehyun, and Himchan pulling some extra gags to make Daehyun smile. They're all trying.

They're all close enough to tell when a member is feeling off.

They're ending the vlive and Daehyun runs off somewhere and Junhong watches as he leaves shoulders hunched, figure small, before he mumbles “I'm gonna go see if he’s okay.” He hears Himchan call after him they only have 30 more minutes until they have to leave and he makes a noise to show he heard.

He finds Daehyun in the bathroom farther away from the interviewing room they were in leaning against the sink, face wet with water.

“Junhong” His voice is low, yet still echos in the empty bathroom.

He rubs at his face and Junhong thinks he looks so small like this, figure slouched and bent forward, face in his hands.

Daehyun dries off with some paper towels and says “I'm okay, I’m okay,” as he looks back up into the mirror. The words directed more at himself than Junhong.

Daehyun repeats the words, voice wavering. Junhong moves forward and hugs him, arms wrapping tight around the smaller boy’s torso.

He doesn't ask what's wrong because he already has a guess. Sometimes the stress of the world tour catches up and their insecurities take hold and it gets a little hard to bear, he thinks about the eye bags everyone's getting, the cricks in everyone's necks, and buries his face into the nape of Daehyun’s neck.

Sometimes the members get down and they all have different ways of showing stress.

Yongguk traps himself in more work. Himchan’s comments start becoming more harsh. Youngjae picks up old habits like biting his nails. Jongup starts zoning out even more than usual. Junhong sometimes doesn't sleep. Opting to instead surf the Internet for hours, otherwise his mind races on things it shouldn't even be dwelling on.

Daehyun.

Daehyun always gets hit hard.

His face and voice are too expressive and give him away in an instant. He'd be a terrible actor Junhong thinks, his face would betray everything. He wears his heart on his sleeves and it’s endearing how loving his hyung can be but it can also bring him down faster.

He can fake past the fatigue and how tired he is, still going the extra mile to talk with the fans before every concert. But he’s also the one who gets the most drained. Junhong loves the fans but even he’s too tired to try and start a live nearly every day. Yet Daehyun still does it, still reaches out to fans with open arms and bright smiles, hiding all his fatigue.

The tour is always tiring. They all love this though, wouldn't trade it up for the world. But it doesn't change the fact that it's hard, that sometimes they get poked fun of for their weight, their hair, even just how they naturally look.

And it's a nameless comment, words floating on a screen but Junhong knows it hurts the members. The comments coming back to them when they're already feeling bad.

They sway a bit, Junhong’s arms wrapped tight around Daehyun’s waist with Daehyun’s hands holding onto his arms. Junhong feels him lean his head back and sigh, voice shaky, but no tears have fallen yet. Junhong tightens his grip a bit and places a kiss behind Daehyun’s ear and drops his head onto Daehyun's shoulder and hums.

They stay like that for a bit, until Daehyun’s breathing evens out a bit and he doesn't feel so tense anymore. Daehyun shifts in his arms and turns so that he’s facing Junhong, bringing one of his hands to brush Junhong’s hair back and cup his face and he smiles. It doesn't quite reach his eyes yet but they’ll get there.

“Junhong ah, Thanks.”

Junhong’s heart swells and he's glad, glad he could help. Daehyun pats his face twice an act of endearment and jokes, “C’mon we can't stay in a bathroom forever.”

They head back, Daehyun’s hand brushes his as they walk side by side and Junhong grabs it lacing their fingers and Daehyun beams at him, giving his hand a squeeze, palms warm and hands rough, grounded.

When they go back to the group, the air becomes lighter as they see Daehyun bother Jongup a bit and banter with Youngjae. Junhong still sees how the members do their best to cheer him up, Himchan telling more jokes, Jongup playing along, Yongguk responding more than usual, Youngjae being extra enthusiastic to get another smile out of Daehyun.

Sometimes touring is hard and fatigue catches them but it's worth it. To be doing it with people he loves and who love him.

Junhong is grateful for the members, and as he sits back onto the couch and onto a part of Himchan’s thigh who gives him a small pinch but otherwise doesn’t move him, Daehyun gives his thigh a squeeze and Junhong knows it'll be okay.

A/N

Bruh I wrote this when I was having intense bap ot6 feels bc they went on tour forever and ppl kept leaving stupid comments on their lives and I was mad and Daehyun genuinely looked not that happy in that interview vlive and my mind spiraled everywhere lol

Bap deserves all the happiness in the world for what they do and give their fans