Sehun placed his order at the drive thru intercom. He had assignments due left and right, he sure as hell didn’t have time to waste trying to eat proper food. A quick stopover at a fast-food joint on the way home from uni was about the only break he could afford during this time of the year. He drove up to the pick-up window, reaching out to grab the paper bag being handed to him.

 

He gaped stupidly when he saw the person handing it to him and felt rather than saw the paper bag slipping through his grasp.

 

“I’m so sorry! If you don’t mind waiting in the parking area, I’ll get you a new set asap,” the epitome of perfection said, flustered.

 

“Date me,” Sehun blurted out before he could stop himself.

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

The car behind honked loudly.

 

“What time do you get off?” Sehun asked quickly.

 

Perfection chewed on his lip. “Please wait in the parking area while I get your replacement ready.”

 

“What time do you get off?” Sehun repeated. “You can give the food to me then.”

 

The other car honked again.

 

“11pm.”

 

Sehun smiled. “I’ll see you then.” He drove off.

 

***

 

Sehun sat in his car with the engine running, waiting in the parking area like he was asked to do two and a half hours ago. There was still about 15 minutes left before the person he was waiting for would get off work.

 

Would he come?

 

Sehun wasn’t sure, but it didn’t hurt to wait and see. What should Sehun say if he did come? Maybe he should practice for a bit, that would help pass away the time. His assignments were the least of his concerns right now.

 

He lowered the sun visor and slid the cover of the vanity mirror. He fixed his hair self-consciously, and nodded approvingly at his reflection when he was done. “Hello, I’m Oh Sehun,” he said out loud. Was that too formal? “Hi, I’m Sehun,” he tried again. Too nerdy? “’Sup, I’m Sehun.” Too pretentious? He groaned. How do people do this?

 

Light knocks on the car window startled him. Seeing perfection for the second time didn’t soften the impact the least bit. Sehun gaped and opened his car door, utterly stupefied. The car jolted forward and he quickly slammed his foot back down on the brake pedal. He should really make a habit out of switching the gear to park when he wasn’t driving.

 

A greasy brown paper bag was shoved into his arms.

 

“Here’s your dinner.”

 

“Sehun.”

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

Sehun shook his head, trying to get his head on straight again. “I’m Sehun. What’s your name?”

 

The person he was looking - gawking - at hesitated. “I’m Zitao,” he said finally.

 

“Do you want to go out for coffee sometime, Zitao?”

 

Zitao shook his head. “I don’t drink coffee.” He turned around, ready to leave.

 

Sehun grabbed his arm. “We can go out for bubble tea instead.”

 

Zitao frowned.

 

“Or ice cream. Crepes. Noodles. Whatever you want.”

 

“I don’t know you,” Zitao said, trying to pull his arm out of Sehun’s grasp.

 

“Then get to know me.”

 

Zitao stopped struggling, a pensive look crossing his features. “Take me to that fancy restaurant that just opened in the city. You’re paying.”

 

“Okay,” Sehun said without much thought.

 

***

 

Sehun tried to make himself look presentable. Finally pleased enough with what he saw in the mirror, he called the number that Zitao gave him.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Are you ready? I’ll come and pick you up.”

 

There was a pause on the other end. “No, I’ll take the bus.”

 

Sehun frowned. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yes. I’ll meet you there.” Zitao hung up.

 

Sehun looked at his phone, partly confused, partly discontented at the sudden change of plan. He was looking forward to finding out where Zitao lived.

 

Sehun drove to the restaurant and waited at the entrance for Zitao. He had made a reservation for 7.30, and it was already 7.25pm. He fidgeted uncomfortably, starting to wonder if he was being stood up.

 

He sighed in relief when his phone rang and Zitao’s name flashed on the screen.

 

“I’m sorry, but I think I’ll be a bit late.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll go in first. Tell them you’re with Oh Sehun when you get here.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Sehun entered the restaurant and was led to his table. 15 minutes later he was trying his best to ignore the blatantly disapproving looks from the staff and other patrons still waiting in line for a table.

 

Slightly past 8pm, Zitao finally showed up, face flushed.

 

“I’m sorry, the bus never showed up. I had to take a different bus that stopped a bit further away from here,” he explained when he was seated.

 

Sehun smiled reassuringly. “Let’s eat.”

 

Zitao seemed to have brightened up at the end of their four-course meal, apparently wholly satisfied with the experience. Sehun felt a genuine smile tugging at the ends of his own lips. So what if he had just spent $300 for tiny portions of food that weren't even that good?

 

“Where do you want to go now?” Sehun asked.

 

Zitao looked at his watch, frowning when he saw that the battery had died. “What time is it?”

 

Sehun looked at his phone. “It’s almost 10.”

 

Zitao stood up abruptly. “I should leave. I’m doing the overnight shift today.”

 

“What time do you start?”

 

“11.”

 

Sehun nodded. “I’ll drive you there.”

 

“No, I need to get changed first. I’ll take the bus home.”

 

“Are the buses still running?”

 

“They should be.”

 

“I’ll walk you to the bus stop.”

 

Zitao opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it. He nodded.

 

“Are the drivers on strike today or something?” Zitao grumbled after 20 minutes of waiting.

 

“Just let me drive you home,” Sehun said.

 

Zitao hesitated.

 

“You don’t want to be late for work, do you?”

 

Zitao finally acquiesced.

 

***

 

Sehun drove with Zitao guiding the way. They finally reached a small, cozy house tucked away in the middle of a suburban neighbourhood.

 

“I’ll wait out here while you get changed. I’ll drive you to work.”

 

Zitao nodded, leaving the car to enter his house. Sehun tried to scrutinize Zitao’s house from his car, trying to figure out why the latter was so reluctant to let him come here.

 

It wasn’t actually a drug den or something, was it?

 

Zitao rushed back into Sehun’s car, having changed into his work uniform.

 

“That was quick,” Sehun commented. He started to drive towards the fast-food joint that Zitao worked at.

 

“Say,” Sehun began, while driving. “Why didn’t you want me to pick you up?”

 

Zitao seemed unwilling to respond.

 

“Okay, maybe you didn’t really know me then,” Sehun said. “But why didn’t you want me to take you home?”

 

Zitao didn’t respond.

 

“You can trust me. Whatever it is, I really won’t judge you for it.”

 

Zitao paused. “I haven’t mowed the lawn in a while,” he finally said.

 

Sehun was stunned, before bursting out laughing. “That’s it?”

 

Zitao frowned. “I don’t know, I thought you look like one of those people who has a gardener coming in every couple of weeks or so.”

 

Sehun grinned. “You’re saying I look rich?”

 

“You couldn’t have paid for dinner if you’re not.”

 

Sehun shook his head in amusement. “I’ll mow your lawn for you.”

 

“I’m pretty sure I can’t afford your services.”

 

“Just go out with me again as payment.”

 

Zitao looked at him. “I can mow the lawn myself.”

 

Sehun stopped the car in the parking area at Zitao’s workplace. “When will I see you again?”

 

“Goodbye, Sehun,” Zitao said, getting out of the car.

 

Sehun grabbed his arm. “I’ll buy you a new watch.”

 

Zitao’s gaze moved to his broken watch, before moving back to Sehun’s expectant face. “I'm free on Friday afternoon.”

 

***

 

“Sehun, buy me this.”

 

Sehun had lost count of how many times they had gone out together. He had to try to fit himself between Zitao’s uncertain work schedules, but it didn’t matter to him. So what if he had to pay somebody to record and take notes for him at lectures that he couldn’t attend because he wanted to meet up with Zitao? Who cared if he had to pull all-nighters just to get his assignments done? Spending time with Zitao was worth a lot more to him.

 

He especially liked how radiant Zitao looked when Sehun bought him something new. Zitao had expensive tastes, but Sehun could afford it, and spending money for the person he liked was something he found immensely pleasurable.

 

“Sehun, buy me this one too.”

 

Sehun smiled. “Sure, anything you want.”

 

***

 

Before they knew it, it was past Christmas, and it had been about eight months since they had met.

 

“Let’s meet up close to midnight on the 31st,” Sehun suggested.

 

“Why?”

 

“So we can spend the new year together.”

 

“Why?” Zitao asked again.

 

“We should go see the fireworks together,” Sehun said, ignoring the question.

 

Zitao laughed. “Isn’t that the kind of thing that lovers do?”

 

A faint trace of a smile played on Sehun’s lips.

 

“The shops won’t be opened,” Zitao pointed out.

 

“It’ll be fun, I promise.”

 

***

 

Sehun and Zitao stood amongst the crowd by the river, all of them waiting for the countdown with bated breath.

 

“Is this really worth it?” Zitao complained. “I could be at home sleeping right now.”

 

“Who doesn’t like fireworks?” Sehun asked.

 

“I’m too tired to like anything,” Zitao grumbled.

 

“10.”

 

The crowd fell silent, excitement apparent on every single one of their faces. Both Sehun and Zitao looked up, anticipating the fireworks.

 

“9.”

 

Sehun slipped his hand into Zitao’s. Zitao turned to look at him.

 

“8.”

 

“Face the front. You’ll miss the fireworks,” Sehun said. Zitao turned to face the front.

 

“7.”

 

Sehun interlaced his fingers with Zitao’s.

 

“6.”

 

Zitao squeezed Sehun’s hand. Sehun turned to look at him, surprised.

 

“5.”

 

“Face the front. You’ll miss the fireworks,” Zitao teased.

 

“4.”

 

“Zitao?” Sehun called.

 

“3.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“2.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“1.”

 

Zitao turned to face him, both of them completely ignoring the fireworks.

 

“I’ve loved you since you handed me that greasy artery-blocking mush from your window,” Sehun said, trying his best to be heard over the din of the fireworks. “And I loved you even more when you actually gave me another bag of greasy artery-blocking mush when I dropped the first bag, even though it was completely my fault,” he babbled. “And then somehow I fell even more in love with you when you said that you don’t drink coffee, because who does, really? That stuff’s icky. And then-”

 

“Sehun,” Zitao interrupted, laughing.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Shut up.” He pulled Sehun closer and kissed him.

***

 

 

“Move in with me.”

 

After countless rendezvous, lavish gifts and that awkward confession, Sehun finally felt confident enough to voice the proposal that had been on his mind since their first dinner together.

 

“Why should I?” Zitao asked bluntly.

 

Sehun took Zitao’s hand, adorned with the rings that he had bought. “I own the house so you don’t have to worry about paying rent anymore. You don’t even have to work at that horrible fast-food joint anymore if you don’t want to. I’ll cover all the bills.” Sehun grinned cheekily. “And I’ll keep the lawn mowed.”

 

Zitao looked contemplative for a brief moment “What do you get out of this?”

 

Sehun smiled. “You.”

 

 

 

 

Zitao quit his job and settled in at Sehun’s house. Their home. He comfortably established a routine of leisurely walks in the new unfamiliar neighbourhood and reading Sehun’s impressive collection of books. He felt spoilt and self-indulgent, and he liked it. He sometimes tried to put his experience flipping burgers since he reached legal working age to good use by cooking something for himself and Sehun, and Sehun always praised his cooking, regardless of how disgusting they actually were.

 

What he enjoyed the most about living with Sehun was that Sehun never failed to bring him something when he came back from uni. Sehun seemed to know his preference very well; he loved everything that Sehun had bought for him. Frankly, he preferred receiving gifts a lot more than actually going to the store and picking things out himself because the sense of surprise made everything so much better.

 

Zitao heard the clinking of keys from outside and smiled, knowing what was to come.

 

“I got you something,” Sehun said as soon as he walked in.

 

“What is it?” he asked, walking over to Sehun.

 

Sehun pulled him into a hug and kissed him before handing a bag over. Zitao was overjoyed when he saw the luxury brand name printed on the bag.

 

He looked inside the bag and pulled out a jacket. “I really wanted this!” he said excitedly.

 

“Try it on.”

 

Zitao tried it on.

 

Sehun grinned. “It really suits you.”

 

Zitao entered their bedroom and faced the full-length mirror. The jacket really did suit him. Sehun walked into the bedroom and hugged him from behind, both of them appreciating Zitao’s reflection.

 

“Thank you,” Zitao said, gaze fixed on his new jacket.

 

***

 

 

“I’ve finally graduated.” Sehun sighed. “Now I can start slaving away at dad’s company and actually start making my own money instead of leeching off of my parents.” He smiled at Zitao. “I’ll buy you something special with my first paycheck.”

 

“Let’s go out to dinner instead,” Zitao suggested.

 

“Okay.” Sehun paused to think. “We should go to that fancy restaurant in the city. The one that we went to on our first date.”

 

“Except I didn’t think of it as a date back then,” Zitao said. “I’ll be on time this time around.”

 

Sehun chuckled. “You better be. It was embarrassing sitting at a table alone, not eating when there were about 50 people lining up.”

 

“I’ll make it up to you,” Zitao said, smiling.

 

***

 

 

“Let’s eat,” Sehun said.

 

Zitao looked bewildered at the end of their four-course meal.

 

“I actually enjoyed this?”

 

Sehun laughed. “I didn’t get it either. I’d choose those burgers that you sold over this any day.”

 

“I’m sorry you had to spend your first paycheck on this.”

 

“It’s worth it. This brings back so many memories.”

 

***

 

 

“Let’s watch the fireworks together,” Zitao suggested.

 

Before they knew it, another year had passed.

 

Sehun nodded. “Let’s not miss the fireworks again this time.”

 

“You were the one who confessed just when the fireworks were about to go off.”

 

Sehun shrugged. “I thought it’d be dramatic if there were fireworks going off in the background while I told you that I love you.”

 

Zitao laughed. “Like in the movies?”

 

Sehun grinned. “Exactly.”

 

***

 

 

Zitao slipped his hand into Sehun’s when the countdown started and interlaced their fingers together.

 

"1."

 

“I love you, Oh Sehun,” he whispered.

 

Sehun turned to look at him just as the fireworks went off. Zitao gave Sehun’s head a nudge to make him face the front. “You missed it again.”

 

“I won’t miss it next year,” Sehun said, breaking out in a grin.

 

***

 

 

Zitao refolded and rearranged all the clothes in his and Sehun’s shared closet for the umpteenth time. He hated acting like a stereotypical fifties housewife, but he was bored to death and there was nothing for him to do while Sehun was off at work at his father’s company.

 

It had been almost 2 years since Zitao quit his dreaded job at the fast-food joint, but now he was starting to regret it. At least he had something to do back then, no matter how dull and unpleasant. At least he was getting paid back then. Money was not a problem for him anymore, but he could at least feel like he was working towards something if he was making money.

 

He heard the clinking of keys from outside and sighed, knowing what was to come.

 

“I got you something,” Sehun said as soon as he walked in.

 

“I told you not to get me anything anymore. I really don’t need so many things,” Zitao said wearily.

 

“It’s my way of telling you I love you.” Sehun placed a chaste kiss on his lips and handed a bag over. Zitao was unfazed by the luxury brand name printed on it.

 

“But I know that even if you don’t buy me anything.”

 

Sehun smiled stiffly. “I like spoiling you.” The words sounded forced.

 

“The closet’s overflowing,” Zitao pointed out.

 

“I’ll buy us a new wardrobe,” Sehun said nonchalantly. “Or I can get the house renovated to fit in a walk-in wardrobe.”

 

“No.” Zitao frowned. “You should really stop being so extravagant.”

 

Zitao noticed the subtle change in Sehun’s expression, the slightest hint of displeasure in his gaze, the barely noticeable tightening of his lips.

 

“I thought you like it when I buy you things?”

 

“I do. It’s just that maybe we should try to save some money?” Zitao suggested.

 

“For what?”

 

“What if we want to adopt kids or something?”

 

Sehun looked surprised. “You want kids? I can look into that. I’m pretty sure I can afford one.”

 

“No, Sehun.” Zitao sighed. “Just forget it.”

 

“No, let’s talk about it,” Sehun said. “What do you want?”

 

“That’s the thing,” Zitao said exasperatedly. “I don’t want anything.”

 

Sehun looked at him, a trace of confusion in his eyes.

 

***

 

 

Sehun stopped buying him things and Zitao wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He was glad that he didn’t have to feel like an undeserving mistress anymore, but apparently buying him things was really the only way Sehun knew how to express his love.

 

Or maybe Sehun just didn’t love him anymore.

 

He reapplied for his job at the fast-food joint, and the manager gladly accepted him since they were constantly in need of staff members and he didn’t need training. He settled back into his old routine, working odd hours and taking the bus home.

 

He barely saw Sehun anymore, even though they were living in the same house. Sehun worked during the day, and he worked mostly at night.

 

Zitao thought that this space they were giving each other was something they really needed to drive them closer. At least that was what he was trying to tell himself. There was a part of him, one that he tried to silence, that thought that the gap between them would only grow wider.

 

***

 

 

Zitao startled as he heard the clinking of keys from outside. He was about to head off to work, but apparently Sehun had gotten off work a bit earlier than usual.

 

Sehun looked surprised when he saw Zitao in the house, dressed in his work uniform.

 

“You’re going to work?” Sehun asked.

 

Zitao nodded.

 

“Do you want me to drive you there?”

 

“No, I’ll take the bus.”

 

Sehun nodded. Zitao walked pass him towards the door.

 

Sehun took hold of his arm lightly. “Are you sure?”

 

Zitao looked at him, seeing a hint of the Sehun that he had grown to love. “Yes.”

 

***

 

 

Zitao found himself standing in front of that fancy restaurant although he didn’t have a reservation and he definitely knew that he couldn’t afford to eat anything there. He was going through the list of houses up for rent close to his workplace advertised in the community newspaper when he suddenly felt a strong urge to go to that restaurant.

 

Maybe his subconscious was telling him that moving wasn’t a good idea?

 

Zitao chuckled. He was starting to sound like a madman, clutching at any glimpse of hope, no matter how faint. It’s times like these that really made him realise that he had truly fallen in love with Sehun. It wasn’t just about the money anymore.

 

But of course, as fate would have it, as soon as he fell in love with Sehun, Sehun fell out of love with him.

 

Zitao walked back to the bus stop, remembering how Sehun walked him to that exact same bus stop way back when. As if taunting him, the bus that was supposed to come never did, like a cruel imitation of the day he had dinner with Sehun for the first time.

 

Zitao chuckled mirthlessly.

 

***

 

 

Zitao knocked lightly on Sehun’s bedroom door. Zitao had moved to the guest bedroom when they started growing apart. He had gotten off his overnight shift and had been tossing and turning in bed ever since he got back. It was Christmas so he knew that Sehun wasn’t at work.

 

Sehun opened the door, looking like he had just rolled out of bed. It was 1pm.

 

“Do you want to watch the New Year fireworks together?” Zitao asked.

 

Sehun frowned. “I’m not sure. Maybe, if I’m not too busy.” He closed the door.

 

Zitao stood still in front of Sehun’s closed bedroom door, as if rooted to the spot.

 

The gap had definitely grown wider.

 

***

 

 

Zitao stood by the river, alone in the crowd of unfamiliar faces. The countdown started and he wished there was a hand holding his, fingers interlacing with his own.

 

“1.”

 

Zitao closed his eyes. “I love you.”

 

***

 

 

Sehun stood by the window in his bedroom, listening to the faint booming and crackling of the fireworks.

 

What was he doing? Why was he here, in his bedroom, when he should be watching the fireworks with Zitao by the river, as they had done for the past two years?

 

What was it that had driven them apart? Was it the money that had brought them together in the first place?

 

Sehun sighed. He wished he could go back to the beginning, and do it right this time around.

 

***

 

 

Zitao stared at the person he was handing the bag of greasy, artery-blocking mush to, feeling rather than seeing the bag slipping through his grasp.

 

“What time do you get off?” Sehun asked, smiling.