Mi Young waited nervously at the meeting point, a park. She was nervous for a number of reasons, the first was that she was meeting her idol, the second was that she was a little insecure about the fact that she wasn’t 100% Korean, she was only half, and lastly, was that she was deeply and desperately in love with him.

Yes, in love with him.

They didn’t actually say anything about being in love with him before you go on the show, so she had found a loophole, the rule was ‘Do not fall in love’, not ‘Do not fall deeper in love’.

As Mi Young was a Korean born blasian, she had struggled with the insecurity of her nationality from a young age, because of the teasing she would receive at school for her curly mass of hair and plump lips. When her father died, his last wish was for her to be proud of her nationality and to not let it hold her back when she wanted to pursue her dreams. Which is the part of the  reason she sighed up for the show.

She stood fiddling with the strap of her backpack which contained: cupcakes (for her idol), a notebook, and a camera. The notebook had multiple drawings of her idol and his bandmates and a letter she wrote for him. And the camera for obvious reasons, she wanted to preserve the memory of the day.

Her heart thumped against her chest as a black van rounded the corner and pulled up at the entrance of the park, out of the van came the camera crew and…Kai, her ultimate bias and the man she was hopelessly in love with.

Mi Young felt butterflies in her stomach as Kai made his over to her as soon as the PD confirmed it was her.

“Annyeong haseyo! You’re Mi Young, right?” Kai asked, he smiled, but regardless of how empty it was, Mi Young’s face heated up, “N-neh.” She stuttered quietly, Kai kept the smile plastered on his face. She was in slight awe; he was so much more handsome in real life. “I-I’m sorry i-if I-I stutter, I-I’m just nervous.” She added softly, he just patted her head, “Gwenchana, it’s understandable.” He replied, half-heartedly.

Anyone could see that Kai’s heart was just not into the show or into meeting one of his fans, Mi Young smile was melancholy, she could see it too, she also knew that he’d never love her back…but she was going to enjoy his presence while she could.

~

PD-nim handed them a red card with a bright gold star on the back of it, the card read:

First date: Indoor Picnic 

You will be taken the Choreom Center, which is an indoor park, to have a picnic, food has been provided for you. Have a great time!

Mi Young smiled, she loved picnics and those cupcakes she worked hard to make would come in handy, her thoughts were interrupted by Kai reading the content of the card to the camera. He then handed the card back to PD-nim and escorted Mi Young wordlessly to the black van.

They climbed in, followed by one of the camera men, and sat in tense silence. Kai was not in a good mood and Mi Young could easily tell, even if the camera man couldn't.

~

Kai and Mi Young were sat at the table provided, the camera men had dispersed and left them to their own devices, but there were cameras stationed in every corner and some in the plants. Kai and Mi Young weren't stupid, they knew they were being watched, and that didn't seem to help better Kai's mood.

"Are you alright?" Mi Young asked.

"I'm fine." He replied, irritated.

"Are you sure? You seem kind of-"

"I said I'm fine!" He snapped quietly.

She flinched slightly, but nodded, she guessed she should shut up now. Kai watched as Mi Young opened up her bag and dropped a container of what looked like cupcakes onto the table. Kai's facial expression soften once he saw them, they were painstakingly hand decorated in white and black icing, with his and EXO's 'power' symbols. Mi Young took off her gloves to eat, "I made those for you." She said quietly as she picked up a sandwich, it was then Kai noticed that her hands had splotchy red patches that looked rather sore,"What happened to your hands?" He didn't really care, he just didn't want that to be somehow his fault.

Mi Young just smiled, "I hope you like the cupcakes, I heard chocolate was your favourite." Kai realised that she wasn't going to answer and rolled his eyes, he murmured a quiet 'thanks' before opening the container to grab a cupcake. Once he had finished it he was surprised it tasted okay, so he nodded at her, "It was good." He thought it was nice that she went out of her way to actually make them for him, he was snapped back into reality when Mi Young reached over the table and wiped at the corner of his mouth. When she pulled back, Kai's face was stoic. She immediately regretted her actions, what she did was a mistake and she acted out of instinct.

"I'm sorry," She muttered, "You had some icing on your face." She mentally punched herself in the face, it was going okay until she did that.

The rest of the date was idle chit chat, mostly on Mi Young's behalf. When they had finished eating, PD-nim handed them another card, this one purple with the same gold star. The date this time was: 

Second date: Karaoke

I hope you can sing! Because nest you'll be heading to Gangnam for a session of karaoke!

Mi Young's jaw dropped, did they seriously just do that? Karaoke...with an idol? Great. 

~

They walked down the empty hallway of the karaoke place with the camera crew following, the entire first floor was rented out for the show, it was for privacy reasons they said.

They arrived at their room and Kai let Mi Young go first, so if she was as bad as he thought he could laugh, he needed something to cheer himself up, he didn't want to be there he wanted to be home with... He sat back on the couch and crossed his arms, waiting for Mi Young to pick a song. 

Mi Young flipped through the sing book until she found the 'English Songs' category and when she spotted a song by Adele, she knew that was the song. She typed in the song number and picked up the mic, but was surprised when it emitted a high pitched screech before she tapped it to make it stop. She heard Kai make a sound between a scoff and a laugh, she just huffed and pretended not to hear him. 

As soon as the music started she opened to sing.

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies, just hold me closely
Don't patronize, don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something that it won't
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't, when you don't

I'll close my eyes, 'cause then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right, just give me
'Til then to give up this fight and I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something that it won't
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I will feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't, when you don't, yeah
When you don't
 

Kai's mouth was slightly agape, he severely underestimated Mi Young. He sighed, now he felt guilt for being such an to her, he could at least pretend to have fun, even if he wasn't. In truth he was kind of glad it Mi Young that was picked over any other fan, he was aware of how crazy his fans are and the fact that the got a fan so kind and down to earth was a blessing. He still wished he wasn't here, but he did agree to do the show in the first place, the least he could do was try to be nice.

Mi Young smiled wide when he clapped, "That was really good," Kai praised, "How long have you been singing for?" Mi Young rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, "T-thanks, I've been singing since I was 12."

Mi Young was happy, Kai could tell, he was a better actor than he thought.

~

The rest of the date went better than expected, Kai talked more in the conversations and to the camera crew and PD-nim it really seemed like he was enjoying himself, but Mi Young could tell something was off, she didn't know what it was though, and when they headed to the Namsan Tower after karaoke to write the love locks for each other, he wouldn't let anyone see what he wrote. When they were on a small break she snuck off the see what he wrote, she tried not to be upset that Kai loved someone else, but it was hard but she, like Kai, was good at pretending.

The last date was an outdoor film, something Mi Young always wanted to try. The camera crew left half way through the film, because they got enough footage and told them to enjoy the rest of the film and that the van would pick them up after. There were no hidden camera's this time, just them alone.

Mi Young turned to Kai, "They're gone, you can stop pretending now." She said softly. Kai was taken aback, how did she know? He opened his mouth to lie when seemingly reading his mind she said, " Don-don-don't patronise me, okay? I-I'm not stupid. You've been faking since god knows when. A-a-and I thank you for-for trying to save my feelings, but it's a bit too late for that. And there is something I want to say before I regret not doing so. I-I-I love you,  just-just so much it physically hurts me. I've loved you since before you've debuted, back when you were Jongin, not Kai, back when no one knew who you were, back when I saw you for the first time." Mi Young was struggling not to cry, raw emotion was built up in her voice, making her sound hoarse.

Kai sat gaping, he didn't know what to say, he was speechless, he's had confessions before, but it was always 'I love you oppa' or 'Kai, I love you', it was always just said out of excitement and he could say it back without feeling anything. And now when someone was saying it from their heart, he was unable to return it.

Mi Young knew that Kai didn't love her back, but it hurt more that she thought it would, she turned her back to him and pulled her legs up to her chest and let out a heart wrenching sob. She thought that when someone's heart get broken it feels like its been shattered, that's is not how she felt, she felt as if her heart had been dug out of her chest, ripped apart and shoved back in again. As she cried, she knew that there was no coming back from this.

Kai didn't know what to do, he just watched her as she cried, feeling like utter , he's never had to deal with this before, and hearing her broken hearted wails just made him so, so sad. He made her feel like this and he didn't know what to do to fix it.

~~~

When Mi Young arrived ay the concert hall the next day, she spoke to the person if charge and asked if she could perform after the act had finished, they fortunately agreed.

Mi Young tried her best to enjoy the concert while she stood backstage, she just couldn't, her heart just wasn't in it. Exo K was on stage and Exo M was getting ready to join them, and Mi Young didn't notice Kris stand next to her until he spoke, "How long have you loved him for?" He asked, Mi Young jumped, surprised and embarrassed that he'd seen her unconsciously watching Kai. Once again her smile was melancholy,"He doesn't remember me, but we were friends when we were younger, and before I moved, he promised that he'd find me again and that we'd be together and get married. It was foolish of me to hold him up on that promise." 

Kris nodded, he was about to say something when he was called onto the stage.

~

When the announcer called her onto the stage, Kai was shocked, but the rest of Exo weren't, they were notified. The fans were extremely confused, but cheered her on regardless.

She sat in front of the piano that was set up for her and took a deep breath.

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere, I would have followed you
Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something...

Mi Young poured all of her emotions into this song, you could hear it, all her sadness, all her heart break, all her regret. Her performance brought the crowd and herself to tears, the fans knew how she felt, because they felt the same, they also knew they had no chance with their idols and a reminder was just too much.

She finished and wiped her tears away, stood up and walked off of the stage. She was done, she was going home, she didn't want to meet the rest of Exo, because Kai was the only reason for her to listen to them. And now she couldn't bear being reminded of her failure. 

Walking towards the exit she passed Kai, who reached out for her, he wanted to talk it out, he wanted to say sorry, he wanted to say something. But, she just kept walking, not even sparing him a glance.

Sorry doesn't fix a broken heart.

Bonus.

A cordi noona approached Kai, and handed him a notebook, "Mi Young-shii asked for that to be given to you." Kai was confused, "Why?" He asked, why would she give him something? After the heart break he caused her? The cordi noona shrugged, "She didn't say."

He opened up the first page and found a picture of himself and Mi Young when they were young, recognition flashes through his face.