“Are you going somewhere?”

“No,” Sunggyu uttered. It was early morning. Sitting on the window still, the sunlight outlined the shape of his body, as he leaned gently against the cold, frosted glass. Looking away, he gave me that familiar gentle smile, “Why would you say that? Haha, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Liar,” the word leaves my tongue with a bitter taste. Waking up, the remnants of the dream remain hazy in my mind. Rolling over onto my side, twisting the sheets along with me, the bleak familiar white walls look the same as they did yesterday and the day before.

“Woohyun, are you awake?” The nurse asks as he enters as he does every other morning. Murmuring a reply, I pull the sheets over my head. “Hey, come on, don’t be like that.” Sungyeol’s fingers claw at the sheets, trying to pull them away from me. Feeling his cold fingers brush against my face, I instantly recoil and drive even deeper into the warmth I seek. “Woohyun!”

“Is he coming today?” I exhale through the small gap in the blankets, staring listlessly at the window still he would often sit on. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Sungyeol flinch.

“Mm I’m not sure.” The bed fluctuated as he sat down, knife cutting into an apple, letting the slicing echo in the room as he does.

“Do you think he’ll come?” I sit up, knowing that he is going to make me do so eventually anyway.

“Maybe it’s better you don’t see him anymore.” Picking up a piece of apple, I shook my head, brushing away the loose strands of hair before taking a bite.

“Maybe he got sick of me…” My lips stop after my first bite. Sungyeol sighed. Letting the cold apple slice sit on my tongue before chewing and swallowing, I placed the apple piece back onto the plate. “I’m done.”

“You only had one bite!”

“No it’s fine.”

“…If you say so… Oh yeah, Woohyun, I heard there’s a new donator…”

“Stop.”

“W-what? But, aren’t you excited? You can finally leave here if you get the transplant!”

“Yeah yeah, that’s what they always say. That’s what you always say! But! There’s always something wrong! Either its incompatibility or the donator’s family suddenly change their mind, it’ll never happen! I don’t care anymore…”

“B-but…!”

“Leave.”

“What?”

“I said leave, Sungyeol!” Pushing him off with as much force as my thin, frail arms can handle, I ignore his look of exasperation and repeated my words until I saw him close the door in the last seconds. With the force, my heart starts racing, thumping from the stress. Already? I asked myself, raising a hand to my chest, it’s okay. Alone and silent once more, my eyes flutter to a close, drowning back into the memories.

“Are you going outside?” Sungyeol asked me with that worried voice he always had. I loved him but his apprehensions were stifling. I could see why he would be though. I’ve been sick ever since I was a child and Sungyeol has always been the one to stand beside me and without him, I wouldn’t be alive today.

“Yeah, I feel better today,” I muttered as I pulled on my cardigan, groaning as my fingers slipped between the holes in the worn out grey sleeves, and walked to where he stood by the door.

“Do you want me to come with you?” His hands were pressed together closer than how his brows were.

“No, I… I want to be alone today.” Before I left, I couldn’t help but notice how his eyes slanted and drooped at my words. I pushed aside the heavy feeling in chest and walked past him.

“Woohyun…” His words turned into echoes as it bounced off the white hospital walls. As my slippers shuffled across the floor, I kept one hand on the wall, determined to go for a proper walk today.

As I looked outside the window in the hallway, I noticed other hospital children running in the distance and laughing as they played. My vicinity of the hospital was always so quiet. It was how my parents had wanted it. They wanted me to have peace and quiet. Was that the reasoning behind why they never visited?

The hope I once had as a child was futile and turned me into the jaded teenager I was, reluctant to believe anyone anymore because no matter what, everyone put themselves first. I sighed and strolled into the garden square.

With the next step I took, the sharp pains from my chest only developed getting stronger.  Sighing for the nth time, I took a seat under a nearby tree. I knew I wouldn’t make it. Why did I even try? My resolve was as weak as my heart. The stupid muscle in my chest was useless.

“Hello?” A rough feminine voice asked me. I kept my eyes on my ankle though, determined not to look at them. People always looked at me with pity and pity was not something I wanted. “Are you okay?” The stranger came closer until I could see their leather shoes. Odd, I thought, how strange for a woman to wear black leather shoes like these. “Hello?”he repeated, out of curiosity, I looked up and couldn’t help but gasp.

“A-ah! I’m sorry,” I instantly looked away, face reddening, ashamed that I thought this man was a woman. He chuckled and took a seat beside me. The stranger patted my head and gave me a soft smile. It was sad but, I wouldn’t help but blush again. I suddenly had another reason as to why I hated this stupid heart.

“What’s your name?”

“Woohyun…” My eyes flickered over him. With a small build, he had dark brown hair that frayed at the ends, sticking out from here and there. Along with a warm, albiet small, eyes and a soft smile, I couldn’t help but be interested, “What’s yours?”

“Mm, Sunggyu,” He turned and smiled at me again. I smiled back, and before we knew it we dove into conversations that lasted hours. We talked about everything and anything. About how the weather was and how the birds sang with the song of the gods. Never before had I thought the world was as beautiful as I did that day.

Thrilled with the company, the pain in my heart subsided. How long had it been since I had spoken to someone like this? Oh, how I wished that moment would’ve lasted forever. I never wanted to leave him. I never wanted this to end--

“Woohyun!” Sungyeol called from the distance, breaking the paradise. I stood up and brushed down my pants. As I raised my head, I didn’t even notice the sun was already setting, illuminating the sky with a romantic rosy colour.

“Well, it seems I have to go, Sunggyu, see you tomorrow!” Waving my arms, I giggled as he did the same.

“W-Woohyun?”

“Hm? What is it, Sungyeol?”

“Who were you talking to?” He raised his fingers to his lips and tilted his head.

“Sunggyu!”

“Where?”

“Didn’t you just see him?” I laughed at his seriousness and twisted around towards the tree again. “He’s-“ my fingers scanned the area as I searched for him,”—well, he was there.” Sungyeol’s lips twisted as he shook his head.

“Ah, oh well, let’s get back to your room.” It was strange but, I missed Sunggyu already. If we were always together, I would never feel lonely again.

“Woohyun?” Sungyeol whispers beside me but no matter how hard I try to open my eyes, my body feels too weak to. Humming a reply, my chest heaves as the monitors keep beeping, cords attached here and there. My eyelids quiver as I open them, noticing Sungyeol cry beside me.

“Wh-why are you crying again,” I manage to whisper – the pain in my chest churned as I did, awoken from beneath my bandages. I couldn’t even remember anything that happened in the last few hours. I could only remember dreaming about Sam.

“Woohyun, oh Woohyun, I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m so happy…!” He stops as he breaks into sobs, whimpering at the ends of his words.

“What happened…”

“You… Y-you were dying… You had a fit while you were sleeping! We had to do the transplant earlier than planned. L-luckily your father was there to approve or you would’ve died…! I wouldn’t even know what--” Sungyeol stops as his tears overwhelm him again. My fingers tremble as I register his words. With as much strength as I could, I look down at my body and place a hand on my heart; someone else’s heart, a stranger’s heart, someone else’s lover, child and friend. For an existence as lonely as mine, what point was there in taking away such an important part of someone, whether they needed it or not!

“Sungyeol! How could you! I told you I didn’t want to!”

“But Sunggyu… He…! He’s been in a coma for two months. Any longer and he would’ve been declared a vegetable. You should be happy that Sunggyu and you were even compatible for the transplant!”

“S-Sunggyu?” The name echoed, repeating itself like the beating of my—no his heart.

‘Yes! He was in a car crash a few months back but because of a brain injury, he’s been in a coma ever since!” Getting up with a jolt, I wince at the pain. “Woohyun! Stop! You just had surgery! You need to rest!”

“Sungyeol I’m sure I… It just can’t be! I saw him!” My fingers clutch at her shoulders, gripping it with all my might. I watch as his expression change, darkening at my words. Sungyeol opens his lips to speak, only to stop once more as he turns away, pulling my hands away from his shoulders,he pushes me back down onto the bed. “S-Sungyeol?”

“You… You need to sleep. You just had surgery,” my eyes squint as I notice he repeats her words, as if he was reassuring himself, “just lie down and rest. I’ll close the door for you.” Letting go of my hand, he gets up and leaves within a blink of an eye, shutting the door with a click. Lying back down and looking up at the ceiling, I ponder as his words. Is it true? Am I crazy?

However, the most important question that remains is who’s Sam? Who was the one I met in the garden? Who was that man I fell in love with. There are so many questions I want to ask but there’s no one I can ask them to.

Feeling the tears prickle and push pass my lids, I raise my fists to my eyes, ignoring the pain as I try to hide my tears. Who was I even hiding them to, was something even I can’t answer.

 Sunggyu saved me from solitude and now he saved me from an early death. Even if I am alive, I am alone once more. The heart in my chest thumps and aches, clot forming in my throat. His heart is in me. A part of the man I loved- no, love, is in me.

Even if I can’t talk to him ever again, I smile to myself, it’s okay. We will always be together this way. Now, I will never be alone ever again. Sunggyu and I will always be together. There is no love that’ll ever be truer than ours.

Curling up into a ball, I hug my chest, smile widening from ear to ear. We will always be together. 

a/n: hehe a little bit of a twisted ending thanks for reading!!