Warning: Has not been heta'd. You have been warned!

News travels fast. Within a week, everyone in their friendship circle is aware of Song Qian dating just as her second semester of junior year in college is coming to a close.

“Who is that guy who brought you back?!” Luhan interrogates her. “I saw him! I saw him walk you into campus!”

Song Qian rolls her eyes, shoving Luhan away. “You’re so nosy!”

Not giving up, Luhan throws an arm over her shoulders. From Luhan’s other side, Changmin perks his ears. “He’s as tall as Changmin, isn’t he? He can’t be from here. That height is ridiculous! Where did you meet him? How long have you known him?”

“He’s a friend from high school,” Song Qian tells him, hoping to get him off her back.

“You were hiding him from us this whole time?” Luhan gasps.

Song Qian sighs. “I’m sure Minho has mentioned him before. His name is Kris. We’re just really good friends.”

Almost instantly, Changmin and Luhan’s jaws both drop. The legendary Kris, huh? What a surprise.

“Didn’t he date Zhang Liyin before?” Luhan asks without thinking. By the time he realizes his mistake though it’s already too late.

Song Qian glances over at Luhan. “It’s not like they’re dating anymore. Does it matter?”

“No, no,” Luhan shakes his head fervently. “It doesn’t matter at all, Qian. He looks like a nice guy really.”

She nods and stops walking, turning towards Changmin with the biggest smile she can. “I heard Liyin is pregnant. Congratulations! Your parents must be very excited.”

Luhan then sides with Song Qian, smirking Changmin’s way with a hint of cruel sarcasm. “Way to go, buddy! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There’s the three month rule,” Changmin excuses.

Song Qian’s eyes widen. “Oh my gosh! I didn’t—I forgot. I’m so sorry!”

Changmin pets her head and smiles. “It’s okay.”

Slapping his hand away, Luhan separates the two of them again as they begin advancing towards the library once more. They speak of many things this afternoon: how it must feel to be an upcoming father, how it must feel to be dating for the first time in her life, and how it must feel to still be clubbing and drinking his nights away into oblivion.

The one thing they don’t talk about Changmin’s future outside of being a husband and father.

Although she does not inquire, she is aware of his family business and career. Shortly after marrying Liyin and having their two families combine into one greater commercial power, Changmin has participated in many of the business planning and organizational meetings. It's sort of like transitioning into the adult world.

Many times, Song Qian comes to school seeing Luhan studying on his own or hanging out with his other friends and Changmin is nowhere in sight.

Changmin never had interest in business; what he enjoyed studying most was science. Song Qian remembers him mentioning once that he wanted to be a pediatrician.

At least that means he likes children, right?

As evening comes around Luhan yawns and excuses himself from their little study group, saying that he’s got to prepare for his usual night life. After Luhan leaves, out of the blue, Changmin asks her, “has Liyin mentioned to you when or how she was discovered she was pregnant?”

Song Qian shakes her head. “She just told me about the news yesterday right before I headed off to the airport.”

Changmin nods with no expression.

“Is there a problem?” Song Qian asks.

He glances up at her, eyes filled with no emotion in particular. After staring into her gaze for a while, as though recharged, he laughs and says, “No, not at all. It’s a happy thing, isn’t it?”

Song Qian smiles in turn. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

“Either,” Changmin tells her, “I would be happy with either a boy or a girl, as long as the child is mine.”

She hadn’t heard the underlying message then but years later, when she reminisces on this conversation with Changmin, she wants to slap herself across the face and ask herself how she hadn’t known.

Once she’s finished with studying, she checks the time on her phone and notices a few text messages from Kris. After replying to them, she receives a message from him saying that he’s waiting for her outside at the front of her school.

A little worried by how late it is, Changmin walks her out.

“Kris!”

From a distance, Changmin sees a very bright and handsome young man glance up upon hearing Song Qian’s voice. He lifts a long arm and waves at her happily, smiling as she quickly approaches him where he’s seated by a large statue fountain.

“I’m so sorry! Did you wait really long?”

Kris shrugs, reaching for her hand as she stands beside him. “The weather is really nice today. It’s kind of like getting a tan.”

His cheeks are slightly red so Song Qian extends a hand and runs the back of her fingers over the two sides of his jaw. “Your skin is really warm,” she frowns, “do you have a fever?”

Her boyfriend grabs her hand and shakes his head. “Me and my friends had a few drinks, that’s all. Are you finished studying?”

As though remembering Changmin’s existence, Song Qian looks his way. “Ah, this is Shim Changmin. Changmin, this is Kris.”

Changmin approaches the two of them without hesitation, offering his hand to the other boy. “Nice to meet you.”

Kris politely accepts the handshake. “Nice to meet you too, Changmin. You’re Liyin’s husband, right? I’ve heard a few things about you.”

The other boy simply smiles softly at his words.

Trying to stand from his seat, Kris stumbles a little and Song Qian throws both arms around his waist to hold him still. Changmin is hesitant about whether or not he should help.

“Do you two need a ride home?” Changmin asks.

Song Qian glances up at Kris and Kris is staring down at her with gentle, knowing eyes. Turning to Changmin, Kris smiles and says, “It’s okay. I kind of want to stay out for some fresh air. Thank you for the offer.”

For a split second, Song Qian remembers why she once liked Kris so much in high school.

“I’ll let the two of you to yourselves then,” Changmin excuses, “if you guys need anything, just give me or Luhan a call.”

The two of them watch as Changmin leaves, something weighing heavier in the air the further he gets. Eventually, Song Qian realizes that Kris’s fingers are tightening around her shoulders.

“There’s nothing between us,” she clarifies.

Kris chuckles to himself, lowering himself back onto the cement fountain, pulling Song Qian down with him. He stares at her with particularly amused eyes; deep, penetrating. “Why do you keep making the same mistakes?”

Song Qian doesn’t understand.

His large, warm hands wrap around hers and Kris pulls the back of her hand to his lips. He says, “Song Qian, ever since we started dating, you’ve never once took the initiative to kiss me.”

“We’ve only been dating for a little over a week,” she deadpans, “do you think I’m an easy girl that goes around kissing guys after only dating for so little?”

They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, time freezing over. Kris moves in closer and closer and the seconds extends into an eternity until their lips finally find each other. His breath smells like alcohol, stinging .

After he pulls away, he asks, “You like Shim Changmin, don’t you?”

She doesn’t answer. Kris kisses her again.

“He’s a really good guy, isn’t he?” He asks again.

Just like before, she remains silent. Kris steals her breath away just like the first.

“Did you let go of him just like you let go of me, for Zhang Liyin?”

Finally, she takes a deep breath, eyes watery and slightly red. She says, “I didn’t let you go, because I never had you to begin with; we never started. I let him go, not because of Liyin, but because of him; I let him go because that was what he wanted.”

Kris leans in to kiss a tear out of her eyes.

“I really wanted to hold onto him but I couldn’t,” she continues. “It was the first time I had to actually tell myself to let go.”

All the tears she held back spill out from her eyes. The four days she locked herself in her room after hearing from Minho in Shandong, she thought she had already cried her tears dry. Somehow, Kris is bringing all her remorse back to her.

With Kris, Song Qian feels like she can be a child all over again.

“Is he that great?” Kris asks, his voice course and his lips trembling. He wipes a tear streak off her cheek, cradling her face in his hands. Had she ever cried for himself before, like she’s crying now?

Song Qian squeezes her eyes close, leaning forward and sealing Kris’s lips shut with her own. Her kiss is stiff, lacking in skill and experience, but a part of him is pleased by her gesture.

Could he interpret this as Song Qian protecting his feelings?

In actuality, she wanted to say yes. Changmin is really that great—so great that she wished she never had to watch him leave with her best friend. Changmin is so good that she wished she could hold onto him and never let go; he brings out the possessive side of her that she never knew she could have.

However, what does any of that matter now?

During the rest of her courses for her teaching license, Kris and Song Qian are always sort of on and off. Sometimes they are as sweet as honey, spending as much time as they can together over the phone or visiting each other; sometimes they can go on without speaking for weeks at a time.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Minho would ask her, and Song Qian would reply, “I don’t know.”

These type of days seem to pass by very quickly and before anyone of them know it, Song Qian graduates as Teacher Victoria with Teacher Luna by her side—two new and improved teachers that are being put out to educate children of the future.

However, it seems like no matter what happens, Kris always ends up returning to her.

Late into the night one evening, a series of knocks come to her apartment door. When she answers it, there is a young man supporting an incredibly wasted Kris.

“Song Qian?”

She nods, reaching out to help him stabilize the drunken man. “Is he alright?” However, she’s answered by a low groan from the tall, tipsy one.

The two of them haul Kris inside, throwing him on the sofa. She hurries to the bathroom to wet a warm towel before offering the stranger some water.

“It’s okay,” the man tells her. “I’m Tao, an old friend of his. Kris actually arrived last night saying that he wanted to be here for his girlfriend’s graduation but for some reason he was really upset after attending her ceremony and ended up at the club with us. He kept insisting on being brought here so I had no choice but to bring him over…”

Song Qian smiles at him in understanding. “I’ll take care of him. Sorry for all the trouble.”

Was Kris at her graduation? If he was, why hadn’t he at least greeted her? She did send him an invitation but because he hadn’t told her whether or not he would be able to make it, she thought he was busy with other matters.

After sending Tao off, Song Qian returns to Kris at the sofa and cleans him off with another wet towel. She helps him into her bed carefully after a bit more of cleaning and brews him a cup of tea, feeding it to him after it cools off a little.

They’ve never been together alone in a space like this before so she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t the least bit nervous. However, she has an interview tomorrow and she needs to get sufficient sleep so she changes into a set of pajamas and slides onto the other side of the bed beside him.

When she is finally drifting between the borders of consciousness and sleepiness, she feels strong arms slowly wrap around her waist, a sharp chin buried into the crook of her neck.

“I really missed you,” Kris whispers into her ear.

This whole room smells like Song Qian and it comforts him. In his arms, Song Qian stiffens and her breath hastens as her heartbeat ascends in her chest.

He lifts himself from the bed and hovers over her, one hand on each side of her body, and stares down into her pure eyes. She doesn’t move, simply staring straight back up at him in the darkness of the room.

Even in the dark, she can see the form of his large body clearly.

As he leans forward to kiss her, Song Qian raises both hands to his shoulders when she feels him straddling her at the hips. His lips travel from to her jaw, down to her neck, and his fingers work on ing the lockets on her pajama top.

At that very moment, there was only one question she wanted to ask him.

“Liyin’s baby is yours, right?”

Kris freezes as every muscle and nerve suddenly become so tensed that he feels they might cramp.

“I’m not mad and I won’t be upset if it is,” she reassures. “I just want to know for sure before we take things one step further.”

Taking a deep breath, Kris falls back onto the bed beside her and takes her right hand into his left. They lay like that for a while, in deafening silence, until he finally admits it. “That one time I told you I ran into her at the club, we both got a little too drunk and we ended up at a hotel. It wasn’t intentional; we were both just a little unhappy.”

“Just once?” Song Qian asks.

Kris nods. “Only once, I swear. I was surprised that the first and only time hit the jackpot with her, too.”

“The two of you were just going to keep it a secret?” She wants to know.

He sighs. “I didn’t know until I ran into her in Beijing not too long after she had just given birth. Honestly, I don’t even know why she confessed about it to me, but what am I supposed to do? Walk up to her husband and say hey, that’s my kid? There’s nothing I can or should do. She looks happy now and I don’t want to disrupt her happiness.”

If he could, Kris probably would have chosen to never meet Zhang Liyin. Not because he feels as though she’s been a bad part of his past but because it seems like he’s brought her a lot more trouble than he can afford to repay.

“Your hands are really cold,” Kris suddenly comments.

Song Qian takes a deep breath. “If I had your child and I was in Liyin’s current situation, would you do the same to me?”

There is no hesitation in his reply. “No.”

“Why?”

Why? Kris wonders. He wants to know himself, to be honest. Why is it that, to him, Zhang Liyin and Song Qian are two so incomparably different sort of existences?

Both women are beautiful and intelligent—they are both independent and capable, yet, his heart has so much stronger of a yearning for Song Qian; uncontrollably stronger.

Maybe it’s because there has always been an insurmountable collection of feelings he has for Song Qian that he never did for Zhang Liyin—maybe it was because she’s always been so unattainable.

“If you had my baby, I would do whatever it took to keep you and the baby by my side,” is all tells her, thoughts and vision clogged up by a thin misty veil of unconsciouness. His words are flat and almost empty. “Just like right now, I would hold onto you and never let you go.”

-----

A/N: Elle Korea - LD - Victoria, anyone? So much gorgeous ;___; Miss her so much!! Sorry guys, this is gonna stay a Changmin/Victoria XD but don't worry, I think Kris will sooner or later lose your support for him in this story. //indiscreet hinting// Not that Kris is gonna become a horrible person or anything, but yeah ^_^ and thanks for the encouraging comments and compliments-- I wasn't exactly expecting any but it's really nice knowing how thoughtful and considerate my readers are =) ♥Xue