My head pounded in sync with my pulse and my whole body felt drained. Memories from last night began to filter through my mind. Him kicking me out. Going to the bar... then only snapshots... Siwon. Retching over and over. Then... Oh, God... had I told him? 

I'm pathetic. Making Siwon take care of my drunk and damaged self. No one deserves that. I vaguely remember wallowing and asking for more alcohol. My body flooded with embarrassment. I'm disgusting. I should leave. Maybe I could save myself some embarrassment if I slipped out now. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up shakily. My muscles felt unstable and I clutched onto the bed frame for support. That's when I noticed my hands shaking- no- my whole body shaking.

Glancing up I saw Siwon asleep on a chair on the other side of the bed. I tried to creep quietly towards the door, avoiding disturbing anyone in the flat. My shaking hand grasped the doorknob and turned it slowly. Pulling back on the door I tried my best to tip-toe out without stumbling.

"Minhee?"

.

I turned to meet a half-lidded Siwon rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"Sorry for waking you up. I was just on my way out."

His brows scrunched in response.

"No."

"W-what?"

His hands came to grip my shoulders and suddenly he pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. Stunned, I stood unmoving in his embrace.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight."

He slowly released me and held me at arms length.

"Why don't you take a shower? I'll get you some clothes. Does that sound okay?"

I had no idea why he was acting like this. I simply nodded in response, not knowing what else to do. He grabbed some of what I assumed were Jiwon's clothes and ushered me to the bathroom then handed me a towel.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Just yell if you need anything, alright?"

Again, not knowing how to respond, I simply nodded.

Sighing, he left, closing the door behind him.

I stripped quickly and went through the motions mindlessly. What would he say to me? Would he ask questions? What would I say to him? Could I just pretend I didn't know what he was talking about? I was just saying made up nonsense things in my inebriated stupor. Right.

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself quickly then changed into Jiwon's clothes. I prepared myself to deny any accusations and strode back into the room. Siwon was sitting on the bed with his hands clasped together; he eyes met mine as I entered and he patted the space beside him, motioning for me to sit down. I complied.

Silence enveloped the room. Neither of us knew what to say.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?" I replied, feigning ignorance.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What do you remember from last night?"

My head dropped in shame. "Drinking a lot. Throwing up a lot."

"You said... you said something about a guy... a guy hurting you..." He met my eyes and I immediately looked away.

"Whaaat? That's crazy." I laughed uneasily. "Guess I was pretty drunk to be saying something crazy like that, huh?"

"Minhee, you don't have to hide it anymore. You can tell me."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." I could feel my voice began to shake.

"Minhee... I-- the way you were last night-- there was no way-- I've never heard someone so--"

"Stop." My hands gripped the blankets beneath me. "I was drunk and I didn't know what I was saying, alright? I'm okay. Thanks for taking care of me; I should go now." I got up to leave when Siwon's hand grasped firmly around my wrist. I turned towards him, he had stood up and his height was slightly intimidating. My mouth opened but the angry look in his eyes prevented any words from forming.

"Absolutely not! I meant what I said. I'm not letting you out of my sight." His voice was deep and firm but then it softened. "Not when I know you're in danger. I know you didn't just make up what you said last night... you can't put that kind of pain in your eyes for a drunken story. Please talk to me about it. I know we haven't known each other that long but I care about you and I know that you're lying when you say you're okay."

I eased myself back onto the bed and laid my head in my hands. I felt the bed dip beside me and a large warm hand rubbed circles on my back.

"You have to promise some things first." My voice was barely a whisper but I knew he heard me.

"Anything."

"You can't be angry."

"Why would I be angry at you?"

"I mean at him."

"Who-- Oh... I don't know if I can do that."

"Then I can't tell you."

He let out a long exasperated sigh. "I'll try."

"You can't tell anyone. Not Jiwon, not the police, no one."

"But don't you want to have this guy locked up? The police have to--"

"Siwon." He stopped and our eyes met. "No one." His head bobbed compliantly.

"One last thing." I paused building up the courage to voice my greatest fear. "You're not allowed to look at me different. See me as some weak, pathetic, used--" His hands came to either side of my face and angled it towards his own.

"I could never see you like that. No matter what you tell me I won't look at you any differently. That's a promise. And not just now, I mean anytime. You can tell me anything ever."

My lips quivered in response but I held in my tears.

"I guess I should start from the beginning."

Annyeong! I'm so happy that more people have subscribed! This story is really important to me as some parts are loosely based off of some of my own experiences. Also, I completely forgot that I can actually respond to comments so from now on I'll respond to all of them! Please continue to support "I'm Okay". Kamsahamnida! *bows*