- Jagya ~ what do you think ? – She asked as she walked out of the bedroom , but she had no response – Oppa~ - she said again as she looked around when she realized that Donghae wasn't standing in the living room.

It was already 1:00 AM & they just got back from a –what supposed to be- a romantic dinner.

He was standing in his small office beside the table , staring at the calendar that was hanging on the wall , exactly on Hyukjae's wedding date .. that was only one week away from now.

He was lost in his thoughts & worries , when two arms find their way & wrapped around his waist , causing him to gasp slightly.

- Sorry I startled you - she said as she planted small becks on his shoulder from behind, her words being raffled in the fabric of his shirt. He closed his eyes & took a deep breath , trying to push way that vision of Hyukjae hugging him from behind that suddenly popped through his head.

- It's Okay … - He said as he slowly turned around to face her , as soon as he began to do so .. she let g of him & took two steps back away from him & putting her hands on his waist.

- What do you think ? – She asked , obviously referring to her white dress she was wearing. It was simple , slightly above the knees , and really elegant. Donghae smiled & nodded with loving eyes.

- WHAT ?!! that's it ?!! is it really ugly ?!! – She asked really worried as she looked down at herself , making Donghae laugh.

- I didn't say it's ugly , it's beautiful … you look beautiful & so pure in it .. – He said , giving her a warm , loving look that made her blush & sigh in relief.

 - Well , this is the dress I told you I bought yesterday … I'm gonna wear it on HyukJae's wedding ! –She said happily as she looked at the dress , but Donghae's genuine smile vanished from his face , only to be replaced by a fake , bitter one.

- Cool … - that's all he could say. She didn't know what was wrong , but she knew he wasn't Okay … clearly going out to dinner didn't brighten up his mood as she thought. She took a deep breath & gave him the biggest grin she could do.

- Hey .. why don't we have a glass of wine , and watch a mov..- She said getting closer to him , but didn't continue when his phone rang suddenly.

He took his phone out of his pocket , and looked at the screen with a serious gaze when he saw HyukJae's name on it. He took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart in his chest , then pressed the answering button.

- Yeoboseyeo ? – He said , but he quickly moved the phone away from his ear when he was shocked by the loud music sound on the other line –Yeoboseyeo ?? Hyukjae-ah~ ?? – He said again , but with a louder voice as he assumed that Hyukjae wouldn't be able to hear him with all that noise.

- What's going on ? everything Okay ?! – Hs girlfriend , who was still standing in fro of his asked concerned , but he only shook his head & shrugged .. giving her a confused look.

A couple of seconds passed with nothing on the other line to be heard except for the music , before Hyukjae's familiar voice came on the line – Donghae-ah~~

- Yah ~ ! are you drunk ? – Donghae asked knowingly.

- Maybe I aaam !! – Hyukjae said laughing like a freak .

- Where are you now ? which club ? – Donghae asked , trying to stay as calm as he could , while his girlfriend who was concerned , gave him a confused look.

- I don't know .. but there's music .. and people … a lot of people … dancing!! Gosh some of them are HORRIBLE dancers ! – Hyukjae mumbled , and Donghae sighed.

- Give the damn phone to the closest person to you … someone who's SOBER ! – Donghae said firmly almost screaming.

One minute later , Donghae was talking to a stranger who he knew later he was the bartender. He asked about the address of the night club , then closed the phone.

- What's going on ? where are you going ? – His girlfriend asked following him as he stormed out of the office , putting on his jacket.

-  Hyukjae is drunk .. I'll go get him & take him to his house … don't wait for me , something tells me that I'll have a long talk with him – He said as he made his way out of the apartment .. not even giving her a chance to say a word as she stood there staring at him leaving her alone disappointedly.

He was driving fast. Pressing the car horn aggressively at each passing car on the road.  An inner gut told him that there was something wrong. It felt wrong. It wasn't like any other time he would go & drag Hyukjae home after getting really drunk , this time was different.

Hyukjae was going to be married in less than a week , and he promised not to drink too much not only in front of Donghae , but also in front of his fiancé & all their friends in that dinner they all had a week ago.

He promised not to get near any alcohol of any kind.

How stressed out he must've been to break that promise & gets wasted ?! that was all what's going through Donghae's mind as he drove faster , not caring about any speed limits or red signs what so ever.

Two minutes later , and he was parking the car in front of the night club. He got out of the car as fast as he could , running inside the super crowded night club.

His eyes scanned the people in a fast look , and landed on the figure of his best friend after recognizing his jacket , he was sitting at the bar , his head laying across the bar table. There was no doubt he was passed out.

The short distance between him and Hyukjae that was only about 10 meters long , felt like he was walking a mile due to the incredible amount of people partying.

He made his way to the bar with difficulty , until he was sitting next to Hyukjae who was still laying his head across the table with his eyes closed , he tried to shake him by his shoulders to wake him up , but he never responded.

- Don't even try to… he drank too much to wake up like that – The bartender said as he got closer.

-Damn ! how much did he drink exactly ? – Donghae said as he got even closer to Hyukjae & could smell alcohol strongly.

- He kept mumbling a lot actually , mentioning someone named Donghae a lot .. – The bartender said innocently while drying a glass in his hand & looking up , as if trying to remember.

Donghae's heart dropped when he heard those words.

-Are you sure of this ? – He asked hesitated , as if he didn't really wanna know the answer.

- Believe me … he said that name too many times for me to ignore it or not hear it ! – The bar tender said again rising an eye brow as he took the empty glasses of wine that were in front of unconscious Hyukjae.

Donghae frowned at the answer , but said nothing more. He paid for the drinks , and while he was doing so , a stupid thought about how maybe Hyukjae did that on purpose so that he would pay instead popped through his head. He laughed at how silly this thought was even for him , and then he grabbed Hyukjae's arm & wrapped it around his neck grabbing it firmly as his other arm wrapped around Hyukjae's waist from behind , supporting his weight.

With some difficulty , he managed to make his way through the crowds of people who were having the time of their lives , and got out of the night club , making his way immediately to his car. He opened the back seat's door , and pushed the wasted man inside , making him lie in the back seat.

- Idiot … - Donghae murmured under his breath as he closed the door of the car harshly , hoping that somehow it would make the other man wake from his blackout state , even though he knew it wasn't gonna happen. He got inside the car , and drove to the quietest place that came to his mind in that time … han river bank.

He leaned back on the car & raised his head , closing his eyes as a heavy , deep sigh left his lips. A mixed feeling of relief & anxiety piled up in his chest. He was relieved that Hyukjae was with him now , but anxious & concerned about the reason that caused him to do that in the first place.

He just stayed standing there for a while , even him didn't know how much time has passed as he was so lost in his thoughts. He was sitting on the edge of the front of the car , when he could feel his phone vibrates in his pocket , he took it out ,just to see hat it was a text from his girlfriend.

"What's going on ? Is everything Okay ? when r u coming back ? it's too late now .."

He looked at the time on the phone screen and was surprised to see that it was 3:35AM.

"She didn't get enough of you today .. "

Donghae almost jumped in his place when he heard that , he turned around startled just to see Hyukjae swaying his way beside the car getting closer to him. As soon as he saw him , Donghae ran to his side & helped him at stand straight as he was about to fall.

- You can't even handle a small shot of alcohol … why the did you drink that much ? – Donghae cursed as he supported Hyukjae until they were both standing at the front of the car , leaning back.

- Shut up … you know nothing … - Hyukjae said tiredly as he closed his eyes & leaned back more , lying on the car. Donghae looked at him confused.

- I know you're stressed out about the wedding but getting wasted won't solve anything .., you could've just- Donghae tried to say , but he stopped talking when Hyukjae started laughing hysterically – Why are you laughing ?

- Never … m-mind …- Hyukjae said in between laughs , he was laughing so hard that his eyes were starting to tear up.

- What the is so funny ? – Donghae asked again as he was getting irritated by Hyukjae's attitude. He understood that he wasn't in his right mind. However he couldn't help but feel a bit offended. He was dying on the inside due to many things , the wedding , his feelings that he swore to himself not to let Hyukjae know about , and now he was worried to death about Hyukjae who was sitting in front of him after got drunk so irresponsibly , and now he's laughing at nothing. He couldn't help but feel hurt.

Hyukjae took a deep breath after he finally stopped laughing. Despite his anger , Donghae thought it was a weird scene when Hyukjae stopped laughing in an instance & sat up straight.

Few minutes passed & both of them didn't say a word , which caused the whole atmosphere to be even more awkward & uncomfortable. They were both looking down , or anywhere but each other.

Donghae took a deep breath & opened his mouth to speak when Hyukjae interrupted.

- I saw you two today … - Hyukjae said suddenly , and Donghae looked at him confused.

- Huh ?

- When you two were having dinner , I saw you … - Hyukjae said with a shaky voice that made Donghae's eyes widen in a mix of anxiety and confusion.

-Y-yah … are you crying ? – Donghae asked as he moved until he was standing in front of Hyukjae who looked at the side.

Not willing to relent , Donghae raised his hand to Hyukjae's chin , slightly tilting it up so he could look him in the eye , his heart dropped when he saw the tears filling the eyes he knew too well. A look like that could only be seen in Hyukjae's eyes if he's in pain –what's going on ? what made you like that ? – Donghae asked with much love & concern in his voice as all his anger vanished.

Hyukjae looked up , his soaked eyes meeting Donghae's deep gaze. He could feel his heart sinking in his chest. He was exhausted , mentally .. and physically. Millions of thoughts would go through his head in a split of a second , and although he hated to admit , all of them were about Donghae !

- You .. – Hyukjae said weakly , still looking in Donghae's eyes despite all the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. Donghae's confusion only got worse.

- Me ? what do you mean ?

- You asked … why I drank , I'm telling you … it's you .. – Hyukjae said again , stuttering slightly as he started to get dizzy again.

Donghae's heart started beating violently in his chest . He was so afraid of what would happen that he almost didn't want Hyukjae to continue , at the same time he was eager to know how could possibly this be his fault.

- Hyukjae-ah … listen to me … - Donghae said as he held Hyukjae's shoulders & shook him a little bit when he seemed that he was getting too dizzy.- What do you mean this is my fault ? Don't you dare saying something like that then pass out or I'll beat the crap outta you !!

- Go ahead … I won't fight back … - Hyukjae said almost whispering , but since Donghae was holding him he still managed to hear.

- You'll get married in less than a week from now … how do you think your fiancé's gonna  feel if she saw you walking into your house like this ?- Donghae said after he ran to the driver's door & grabbed a bottle of water then went to Hyukjae again & make him drink some.

- Donghae-ah … I'm a  horrible person … - Hyukjae stuttered as he was swaying left and right , he was about to fall to his side when Donghae held him firmly , and as soon as he did so .. Hyukjae rested his head on Donghae's shoulder , making the latter's heart almost explode.

- No , you're not … - Donghae whispered as he wrapped his arms around Hyukjae's waist , hugging him as the latter's head was still on his shoulder.

- Yes , I am … I'm a selfish .. I proposed to someone who really loves me just to get over someone else …

Donghae's whole body shivered at his friend's words. A huge rush of emotions ran through his body like electricity. His whole body was shaking , but he still managed to push Hyukjae slightly away to be able to look at his face that was now soaked with tears even more.

- It's true .. don't be shocked … you've always called me an idiot and I scolded you or beat you .. but this time , I won't deny it .. I'm the biggest idiot alive

- who ? – Donghae asked hesitantly , as if he never really wanted o know the answer.

- Someone who  knows me better than I know myself .. someone who's been with me through everything … who has been a family when I was sick .. a friend when I wanted fun .. a fan when I danced , and even a teacher ..- Hyukjae's words were cut off ,by a broken sob that left his shivering lips. However , he took a deep breath – but saying I love him would be wrong , it would be amazing to us … but it wouldn't be as beautiful for the others …

Donghae's heart was still beating violently in his chest , and now .. his tears were streaming down too.

He knew for fact who the person was ..

He imagined this moment a countless amount of times , the moment when Hyukjae would confess his love to him. He fantasized it over and over again through the years.

And even though he knew for fact that they were kind of unreachable dreams that were far away from coming true .. he still hoped for it to be beautiful , magical , happy … where nothing to be felt but love. But now that it's really happening .. it was nothing like he hoped for .. it was worse , much worse.

He opened his mouth to speak , but words wouldn't come out. He felt as if there was acid coating his throat from the inside.

Although his hands were shaking , he brought them up , placing then on his friend's soaked cheeks as he wiped Hyukjae's tears gently , then cupped the latter's face in his hand , tilting it up until their eyes met again. He inhaled very deeply to control his breathing & prevent more tears from falling as he started – Hyukjae-ah … I want to you listen to me carefully , arasso ? – He said , faking a small smile that he knew wouldn't fool his friend , yet he still did. Hyukjae just nodded.

- I need you to know .. that … who ever that person is ..- He stopped as he lost his voice , but he took a deep breath & continued – that person … love you … he loves you … with all his heart , but just like you said .. it would be wrong in so many ways ..

As soon as these words came out of his mouth , Hyukjae broke down even more. Crying like a little lost child who longed for his mother. Donghae , wasn't better at all as he was also crying hard now. With his weak stance , he wrapped his arms around Hyukjae's waist once again , pulling him with all the little strength he had. Hyukjae .. who was also a sobbing-mess hugged him back weakly as he hid  his face in Donghae's neck.

- It's not fair …. It's just not fair … - HyukJae said as he hugged Donghae harder , never wanting to let go.

- I know … I swear I know …

- I Love you … I love you so much .. – Hyukjae said . His words sending shivers to Donghae , as the latter let out a broken sob as he hugged Hyukjae tighter.

- I adore you Hyukjae-ah …

Time passed by with them hugging hard , not really aware of anything in the world.

They were so lost in their moment that they didn't even know how long they've been hugging silently.

Donghae could feel HyukJae's arms loosening their strength . He pushed him away slightly so he could see his face , and he smiled bitterly at the sight.

Hyukjae's eyes were closed peacefully as few tears were still rolling down his cheeks. Donghae wiped Hyukjae's tears gently , caressing his cheeks as tenderly as possible in order not to wake him up. He wrapped Hyukjae's arm around his shoulder & walked slowly to the back seat of the car , opening it & letting Hyukjae inside carefully not to wake him up.

As soon as Hyukjae was sitting in the backseat  , Donghae knelt on the ground beside him , staring at his sleeping face intensely. He looked at each and every little bit of Hyukjae's face , as if trying to memories everything for the last time , until his eyes landed on Hyukjae's lips.

Not in a full control on his emotions , or body. Donghae found himself getting closer eagerly . His lips were dangerously close to Hyukjae's , and he looked at the other's closed eyes intensely , before he closed his own eyes , and closed the gap between their lips , kissing Hyukjae gently.

His heart was burning in his chest as he felt things he never felt before. However , as he was closed his eyes , Hyukjae's words came to his mind ,

" but saying I love him would be wrong , it would be amazing to us … but it wouldn't be as beautiful for the others …"

He pulled away with teary eyes , and he caressed Hyukjae's face gently once more.

- What kills me the most … is that you won't remember this tomorrow … - Donghae said as he got on his feet , closed the back seat's door & walked around the car , getting in the driver's seat then immediately drove to Hyukjae's place.

Hyukjae's fiancé opened the door with a panicked expression when she saw Donghae carrying him. Donghae explained –or lied- to her … telling her that they were partying & things got outta control , as he apologized for making Hyukjae break his promise.

He drove back to his place , and as soon as he opened the door .. his girlfriend came running towards him & hugged him tight , and despite his confusion … he hugged her back even harder.

- Gosh I was so worried on you when you wouldn't answer my calls or texts , is everything okay ? – She asked as she took a look at him from head to toe , scanning him for any possible injury or harm. But he hugged her again.

- I'm fine … I'm just tired … - He whispered as he kissed her on the cheek.

- I'm tired too , let's go to sleep … - She said as she held his hand & pulled him towards the bedroom direction , but he stopped & pulled her back at him , spun her around , and kissed her eagerly on her lips. She quickly kissed him back , wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her by her waist & picked her up . She wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked to their bed room … never breaking the kiss.

* ~ * ~ *

She was deeply asleep , her head resting against his bare chest as he lied there silently staring at the ceiling. It was already 6:30 in the morning , but he couldn't sleep not even for a minute as what happened between him & Hyukjae kept replaying in his mind.

His heart would sank each time he got to the point where Hyukjae said " I love you" to him. His heart sank with joy , and burned with pain all at the same time.

- He won't remember … he's getting married … being together will do nothing but harm , it would ruin our friendships , devastate our parents , and break two gorgeous women's hearts … we can't do this – Donghae reminded himself mentally as he squeezed his eyes shut. He kept saying that t himself in his mind , until he was drifted in a deep sleep.

It was 5:00 PM , and Donghae's phone started ringing. He took it out of his bucket & got off the couch when he saw that it was Hyukjae. His heart beat raced fast when flashbacks of the night before started to appear in his mind . and a dread feeling invaded him when he thought that maybe Hyukjae would really be able to remember what happened.

However, he took a deep breath , and pressed the answering button.

- Yeoboseyeo ?

- yah ~ ! what took you so long to answer ? are you sleeping ? – Hyukjae said on the other line . Donghae closed his eyes as a mixed feeling of relief & sadness came to him when he realized from Hyukjae's voice that he wasn't remembering anything.

- I was in the bathroom …- He lied – How are you today ? – He asked , trying his best to sound normal.

- Good , well … I woke up in a horrible form … a lot of throwing up & dizziness , but I'm okay now – Hyukjae said

- Good … - It was all Donghae could say ..

- Gomawoo … I know I must've been a troublesome for you yesterday … I'm really sorry .. – Hyukjae said more seriously ,and Donghae squeezed his eyes hut as he walked into the bathroom quickly when he sensed a tear would roll out of his eye , and he didn't want his girl friend to see him crying.

- N-no … never mind man ! it's not your first time – Donghae joked , even though he was dying on the inside. He put his hand on his shivering lips to make sure that he wouldn't sob.

- Arasso … thank you again … hey .. I … I didn’t' do anything stupid , did I ?

- n-no … you didn't – Donghae said as he felt his throat burning up in a painful way.- Hey listen , we'll talk later , arasso ? I'm kinda busy right now ? – He said quickly when realized that if they talk any longer , he would with a doubt break down to pieces.

- Sure , we'll meet up later … thanks again .. – Hyukjae said , and Donghae closed the phone.

He crashed on the bathroom floor , crying hard like a wounded child. His hand clutching on his chest as he felt an incredible pain in his heart.

- God please help me over come this … please …. – He pleaded as his tears kept rolling down.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hyukjae closed the phone & threw it on his side , as his tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"I wish you were in right …. I wish I couldn't remember anything I did … if only I can have you as just my friend … or my lover in a different perfect world … if only …."

Hyukjae thought as he held his head with his hand and kept crying hard.

Both of them were crying for the same reason all over again , and once again , they didn't know ..

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~*

- three years later –

- Appa … let's go play football , please .. – Little Sunggyu begged for the 60^th time in less than a minute .

- Appa ate too much food and if he plays right now he would throw up ! You know that throwing up hurts right ? –Hyukjae said to his son who didn't seem too convinced.

Hyukjae looked up , just to see his friends who were sitting around the dining table glaring at him.

- Gosh you're horrible ! – Ryeowook mumbled as he shook his head in disbelief.

- What ?! am I wrong ?! – Hyukjae said innocently

- Sungyu-ya ! come here … I'll go play with you ! – Donghae said as he got up & walked to the little boy taking his hand.

- Yaaay ! uncle Hae is so cool ! – Sunggyu chanted amused as he jumped in his place.

- You don't have to do this , please finish your food first .. – Hyukjae's wife said with a apologetic tone as she gave little Sungyu a death gaze. He got scared & hid behind Donghae's leg.

- I'm really full , never mind … let's go Sungyu-ya ! – Donghae said as he carried the little , excited boy & walked to the backyard.

- That guy would never lose his charm … unbelievable – Shindong said shaking his head in disbelief as he watched Donghae tossing the football happily with Sungyu who was laughing loudly. Everyone of the group of friends seemed to agree.

Hyukjae watched his son playing happily , and he smiled. Before he looked at Donghae & his heart raced quickly when he met the latter's glance.

Even though it's been three years since that night. Even though he got married & had a child. Even though Donghae was engaged to his girlfriend & all their friends seemed to be living their lives to the fullest as well. Even though all that changed … his feelings remained the same.

 They remained just like they always were , strong , true, passionate …. And unspoken …

" If only …. " They both said at the same exact moment … but none of them knew about the other …

~ The End ~

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~* * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~*

*Hiding in the corner ashamed *

Hello guys … it's me ^^"

I'm sooooo sorry for making you guys wait this long for this final chapter , I swear it was outta my hands ..

I've been through sooo much since I updated this fic the last time , I've been through a lot of problems & issues within my family

 Also my best friend passed away while serving in the army , which was devastating to me … so I couldn't do anything really ..

Anyways , back to this fic ..

I reeeeeally hope you liked it , I know it didn’t ended exactly how you always wanted it to be , but I warned you guys from the beginning that it would be broken EunHae fic : (

Sorry if you're disappointed with this ending !

Please leave your comments & tell me what you guys think : ) your comments means so much to me & I enjoy reading every one of them

Upvotes  will also be highly appreciated ^_^ <3

I hope you liked it … ~