Chapter 4

What's Wrong With You?

There was a knock on the door.

 

“Oh, dinner’s here.” Suho opened the door to let the caterers in.

 

“Why do I feel like all we do is eat?” Luhan asked with a tinge of annoyance.

 

“Like we did on that show,” Chanyeol whispered to Jongin, winking.

 

Jongin frowned. He should get used to this.

 

“I haven’t said all I wanted to say yet,” Luhan whined.

 

“We've heard more than enough,” Sehun muttered grumpily.

 

The caterers left after placing some food on the tables at the side of the room.

 

“It’s not fair that I didn’t get to say everything because that thing kept butting in,” Luhan said, pointing and glaring at Jongdae.

 

“You’re one to talk,” Jongdae shot back.

 

“I don’t think Yixing said enough either,” Minseok cut in, trying to prevent another argument.

 

“Mm?” Yixing said, turning to look at him.

 

“I’m pretty sure we’ve had enough of that,” Luhan said.

 

“We’ve all had enough of you,” Sehun called out.

 

Luhan rolled his eyes. “I don’t expect anything more from inferior trash like you.”

 

“You-“

 

“Grab a plate and serve yourselves,” Suho interrupted. “There should be enough food for everybody.”

 

Sehun trudged grudgingly to the serving table, obviously irate, and Tao naturally followed him. The others stood up as well and slowly walked over to the serving table.

 

“Hang on, I’ll serve,” Minseok said.

 

The others looked at him questioningly.

 

“That way we can make sure that everybody gets enough. I used to work at a takeout so I’m pretty good at dividing portions,” he explained, smiling amiably.

 

“Sounds reasonable,” Suho said. “Go ahead.”

 

Minseok started serving and handing out food to the others.

 

“I can’t eat that much,” Luhan said, frowning at the plate Minseok gave to him.

 

“You should,” Minseok said. “The food’s good.”

 

 

 

Suho noticed Sehun standing off to one side of the room, away from the others, while Tao stood in his vicinity, seeming to instinctively gravitate towards him. Sehun was studying his fork, pushing the tines against his thumb to test their sharpness. Suho wordlessly took the metal fork from him and handed him a plastic spork, ignoring the glare he got in response.

 

Tao laughed, surprising everyone in the room. “You’re not old enough to eat with proper utensils,” he teased Sehun.

 

Sehun glared at him. “I wish I still had that metal fork so I can stab you in the throat with it.”

 

Tao stopped laughing, devastation crossing his features.

 

“You’re a psychopath now?” Luhan asked.

 

“Are you sure you want to see me angry?” Sehun snapped.

 

“You’ll get us all killed,” Jongdae said to Luhan.

 

“Why don’t you join us, Tao?” Minseok interjected.

 

“No,” Tao said, shaking his head vehemently. “I’m fine over here.”

 

“Okay.” Minseok said reluctantly, turning back to face the others. “Oh, you’re done,” he said, seeing Yixing’s almost empty plate.

 

Yixing prodded at the remaining food on his plate absently. He was more than full, but his mother always told him to never let food go to waste. When was the last time he met his mother? She always told him he should eat more because he was so skinny.

 

“Have some more,” Minseok scraped the food on his plate onto Yixing’s.

 

Yixing looked at the pile on his plate and slowly started eating again.

 

 

 

Suho saw Jongdae wiped off his fork with a paper napkin when he was done eating and nonchalantly placed the fork in his pocket.

 

“Jongdae, give the fork back,” he said sternly.

 

Jongdae turned to look at him, shock apparent on his face. “Oh,” he laughed awkwardly, taking the fork out of his pocket.

 

“We’re not supposed to keep these?” Baekhyun asked, in the midst of shoving a plate in his bag.

 

Suho frowned. “No.”

 

“I like the way you think,” Jongdae said to Baekhyun, chuckling as he handed the fork to Suho.

 

Baekhyun beamed at him.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo sat in his chair, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. He would probably flip his plate over and embarrass himself if he tried eating on his feet like Sehun and Tao, and he definitely didn’t feel comfortable enough to pull his chair over and join the crowd gathered on the other side of the room.

 

And did he mention how much he hated eating in public?

 

He felt Jongin’s eyes on him as he picked at his food, and felt himself starting to sweat, even in the air-conditioned room, making him silently curse his overactive sweat glands. What did Jongin wanted? Obviously the whole addiction thing was a farce, so he clearly wasn’t after that.

 

Kyungsoo had stopped eating, his discomfort completely obliterating his already scant appetite. He went over to the serving table to add his still full plate to the stack of dirty dishes. He turned around to return to his seat but Jongin blocked his way, arms extended on either side of his body, holding on to the serving table behind him, practically rendering him immobile.

 

“There’s a drama going on,” Jongdae pointed out.

 

Yixing turned to look, interest finally showing on his features, while still working through his mountain of food.

 

“What?” Kyungsoo spat, annoyance getting the better of him.

 

“Chanyeol is creeping me out,” Jongin whispered.

 

“What?” Kyungsoo said again, this time in confusion.

 

“He keeps telling me random things. And the whole biggest fan thing,” Jongin groaned.

 

“You didn’t seem bothered when you were making fun of him.”

 

Jongin paused. “Okay, I deserved that. But let’s make a deal.”

 

Kyungsoo looked at him.

 

“Let’s help each other. I’ll help you make yourself look more legit, and you help me do the same. That way I can keep Chanyeol off my back, and we’ll both get paid. Deal?”

 

“But I don’t need your help,” Kyungsoo said. “You’re the only one who’s obviously faking it.”

 

“You sure?” Jongin smirked.

 

“I don’t know what they’re saying, but I’ve never seen Kyungsoo look that confident,” Jongdae observed with interest. He couldn’t have spoken up at a less opportune moment.

 

“Wha-“ Kyungsoo sputtered. “You don’t understand. I only feel nervous in big groups-“ He turned to face the others, and immediately felt himself breaking out in a sweat, knots forming in his stomach and his cheeks warming up when he saw that practically the whole room was watching him. He turned away, discomfited by the attention and excruciatingly embarrassed by his reaction.

 

“You can blush at will? That’s impressive,” Jongin said.

 

“Can we go back to our seats?” Kyungsoo asked meekly.

 

Jongin’s brows furrowed in confusion, but he nodded and walked back to his seat, Kyungsoo following behind.

 

“So, do we have a deal?” Jongin asked when they were both seated.

 

Kyungsoo sighed. “It goes without saying that you won’t take no for an answer.”

 

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

 

“What am I supposed to do?” He looked at Jongin, already sick of this discussion.

 

Jongin‘s expression became pensive. “I haven’t thought of that,” he said finally.

 

Kyungsoo frowned.

 

“What about I keep groping you and you pretend to be scared of me? That should work for the both of us.”

 

Kyungsoo glowered at him. “How about no?”

 

“Then do you have a better idea?”

 

“If you’re supposed to be a addict then wouldn’t you take advantage of Chanyeol?”

 

“Why would I?”

 

“Because he’s an easy lay,” Kyungsoo said pragmatically. “You don’t know him, but he thinks he knows you, he likes you, and you’re more likely than not to never see him again.”

 

“But that wouldn’t keep him away from me.”

 

“If you make advances towards him, he might realize that you’re not the ‘Kai’ he thinks you are and leaves you alone.”             

 

“Oh.” Jongin turned to look at Chanyeol, who grinned madly at him.

 

Jongin turned back to Kyungsoo, shivering. “I don’t think I can.”

 

“Then I can’t help you.”

 

“Oh, come on,” Jongin whined, putting his arm around Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo pushed him away. “Keep your hands off me, please.”

 

“I liked you better when you were scared,” Jongin grumbled.

 

“Don’t ize me,” Kyungsoo said coldly.

 

 

 


a/n: ugh I can't even.. I can't wait until the next day comes because I at character developments T.T

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Comments

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Jaymouse
#1
Chapter 5: The whole WE ARE STARS thing is dope ???
mistymountains 193 streak #2
Nice story!
Zoapple #3
Chapter 6: I KNEW CHANYEOL WAS FAKING!!!
raven074 #4
Chapter 13: This. Is. BLOODY BRILLIANT!
Byun_Rara
#5
Chapter 4: Tbh i never read crackfic before. But i love this fic so much. And i miss ot12 T_T
Owlrose
#6
Chapter 12: OMG. This whole thing has got me rolling on the bed laughing. My gosh. I cannot love this more than I do now.
Hysterical23
#7
As I thought, I had to reread this.
Strange_Shades
#8
I know crack is whack but this fic is perfect! lol Thank you. Thank you Author-nim ;D
-watermelon #9
Chapter 13: highkey problematic since its lit a story abt ppl stereotyping mental disorders but ion kno man. it was interesting i guess? still felt like it was ed up tho lol