Krystal hated what had become of her.  When Suzy began to date Kai she wanted to kill her, but she realized that she had just considered finishing a beautiful person inside and out.  She knew that there was something wrong with her.  Krystal knew Suzy was a good girl, but that didn't lessen the pain of seeing Kai with someone other than her.  

Nowadays, she was torn between being Suzy's friend, and fighting for Kai.  Like always, logic beat out her heart.  Seeing the two together was beautifully painful.  It was like seeing perfection itself, only to find out that it was Satan's doing.

Krystal decided long ago that Suzy was the better option for Kai, and she had discarded any ideas of fighting for the man she loved.  While she knew Suzy was better than she would ever be, she couldn't help but want.  She wanted Kai to look at her with compassion. She wanted Kai to come home to her and complain after a hard day at work.  She wanted Kai to call her baby.  But most of all she wanted Kai.  

On the days where she chose to give up, she would feel as if she couldn't breathe, and only then did she understand how much she needed him.  He had become her life.  She felt fatigue and lethargy, but when Kai was around, she felt light, ecstatic, and buoyant.  

As she finished off her second cigarette since Kai left, she thought of a world without Kai and felt the beginnings of pain.  She was sure she would die.  If not from heartbreak, then from lung cancer.  Kai was like cancer, slowly growing and hard to avoid.  Love is a disease she thought, wishing she could find a cure.