The start
We All Have Our Scars (Editing)
The Start
Luhan woke up. He had no idea where he was, looking around nothing looked familiar and he tried his hardest to see if he could remember what had happened before he fell asleep. “I was trying to get somewhere…” he was still feeling dizzy but he wanted to sit up and figure out where he was. It was only when he couldn't sit up did he notice someone lying on the covers. Luhan looked at the sleeping face of Lay and he had to hide a giggle that threatened to come out from seeing the thin line of drool escaping Lay’s mouth. Everything came back to him at once. After he got off the train he had left to find where Lay lived and because of the fever Luhan remembered he ended up falling asleep outside of Lay’s door. Luhan sighed, he was only suppose to take one look to see how Lay was doing and then leave. I should have stayed in a hotel until my fever was better Luhan thought to himself just as Lay began to stir besides him. Luhan allowed himself to take a good look at Lay, it had been such a long time since they had seen each other that Luhan had a little trouble trying to remember what Lay looked like when he last saw him. In his memeories Lay was still a scrawny little boy but the person at his side looked like a grown man. There was a faint bit of pain in Luhan's chest as he thought of all the time that he wasn't there to see Lay's growth but there was nothing to be done about lost time.
“Luhan?” Lay sleepily whispered with one of his eyes still closed and his head barely lifted from the bed.
“Hello Lay.” Luhan managed to sit up wincing slightly at the pain from the movement but wanting to take in the sight. The more Luhan looked at Lay the more he saw how much better Lay looked since the last time they saw each other, his skin had a healthier glow to it and he just seemed to emit happiness even though he was sleepy and there were bits of dried drool on his face.
“I missed you so much.” Lay nearly jumped on Luhan wrapping both his arms around the older. It’s been many years since they last physically saw each other and although a phone call once a month is nice they never spoke much because she was always there to cut them off.
“I missed you as well, I’m glad to see you doing well. I’m sorry, I only wanted to come visit but I guess I fell asleep while waiting for you.” Nothing made Luhan happier than seeing Lay healthy and although he wanted to stay and talk to Lay, there was a little voice that told him maybe he should leave now that he knew everything was alright. “I only wanted to drop by I should go now.” Luhan wanted to get out of bed but the movement seemed too much for his already weak body and he ended up laying back in bed once his arms gave away when he tried to lift himself up.
“You are in no condition to be going anywhere,” Lay began moving around getting a glass of water and some pill. “I’m not letting you leave until you are better. I also think that I deserve to know how you suddenly ended up here.” Lay had forced Luhan to swallow the pills and he sat down on the bed and stared at Luhan.
“I’m just here to see how you are doing,” Luhan saw Lay raise one of his eyebrows disbelief very clear in his brown eyes. Although it wasn't a lie Luhan knew that Lay was looking for a different answer. Luhan knew that Lay knew her better than that and he would know she would not have let Luhan leave on the excuse of visiting Lay. Lay might have even known that Luhan would never had gone to Lay’s house if she had any chance of following. Luhan winced in pain again, all that thinking wasn't doing great things for his poor overworked brain.
“You should go to sleep now. I will go buy some food and I will wake you up for lunch ok?” Luhan nodded getting more comfortable in the bed and before Lay had even fully left the room he was already sound asleep.
“Lay I’m fine now!” Luhan was feeling much better the next day and the only thing that bothered him was the guilty feeling that Lay wasn't able to go to work from taking care of him.
“I’m not letting you leave," Lay said as he sat in a chair next to the bed with his arms crossed.
“I already fine! The fevers gone and I’m not tired anymore,” Luhan flashed Lay try and seem more convincing.
“Luhan.” Lay continued to stare at Luhan until Luhan could no longer hold eye contact,“I know about what happened”.
Luhan knew that Lay would have already found out about the incident, he had probably looked up his name and seen the various articles that had been written about that nigh. The night Luhan had managed to faint in the middle of a very prestigious piano competition. He himself had seen some of the articles that called him things such as a 'burnt out prodigy' or a 'disgrace to a heiritage of musical talent', each word hurt more than the next until Luhan had trouble breathing. It didn't matter to them that his fainting was a result of relentless practice and skipped meals rather than 'nerves', no it didn't matter to them and it mattered even less to her. She called him a disgrace and had thrown everything within her reach at him, her temper was the worse he had ever seen and finally he decided that he couldn't take anymore. He had sneaked out at night after paying the secuirity guard a hefty sum to keep quiet. He took a couple hundreds in cash and a few sets of clothes as he went to seek refruge somewhere. He didn't mean too come and bother Lay but he needed to see for himself how Lay was doing, he had hoped that at least Lay was out living a better life than himself.
"I'm not sure what to say, but there's no point in trying to hide it from you. I messed up quite badly I guess, but there's nothing I can do about that anymore," Luhan said as he tried his hardest to smile in front of Lay.
“Luhan stop smiling. I know your heart is crying. I know just as well that she wouldn't let you off easily for that.” No sooner had the words left Lay’s mouth when big fat salty tears rolled down Luhan’s face. Lay stood up and rushed over to hug Luhan. Luhan had never let himself cry in front of Lay before, he had always tried to be the stronger one that protected his little brother. Lay had been the crybaby while Luhan faced things without a whimper. “Shhh its alright. It wasn't your fault. Don't cry. It’s alright.” Lay whispered into Luhan's ears as he tightened his grip just a little more.
“I’m sorry. I don't know why I’m crying.” Luhan managed to say with much difficulty between his tears. He never wanted Lay to see him break down but he couldn't hold things in anymore. Everything that had happened had been to much for him to handle.
“Its alright, no one is blaming you.”
“You know the first thing she said to me after I woke up? How could you disgrace me like that? Why won't she think of me? Why?” Luhan was spilling his heart out. All the pain he kept inside of himself spilled out uncontrollably, every memory of trying to win her love but instead being given nothing but calculated glares and punishments that he didn't deserve.
“She has never once thought of us you know? Its alright Luhan I’m here for you.” Lay said as he patted Luhan on his back in the same way that Luhan had done for him back when they were children.
“I don't want to play the piano again. I don't know if I can. Every time I go near one I get scared and I remember things that I don't want to," Luhan said between broken sobs,
“You don't have to play if you don't want to. No one is going to make you play anymore.”
“I ran off. I didn't know where to go. The first thing I thought of was to check if you were doing well.” Luhan was getting calmer as the time passed although the tears kept spilling. Lay pulled Luhan away from his embrace so he could look him in the eyes.
“I want you to stay with me. There is the spare room there and I think we have a bit of catching up to do.”
“Are you sure I won’t get in the way of your life?”
“Of course I am sure.” Lay pulled the broken Luhan back into his arms in a softer way as if he were scared that Luhan would break in half.
“Now I will be going to the bar more or less every day. If I am not there I'm running around trying to find stuff for the bar," Lay said as he and Luhan were both walking on their way to the bar. Luhan had convinced Lay that they both needed the air and that Lay needed to go to work.
“I’m glad you are doing well,” Luahn said as they stopped in front of a modern shop with the letters EXO in the very front.
They went in just as Lay said, I wouldn't be doing so well if it wasn't for you.” Lay noticed Luhan looking around confused and he said, “The place doesn't begin to fill up until eight thirty so it’s usually nearly empty now."
The bar was rather empty but that was not why Luhan was confused, he was confused because he had never quite seen a bar like EXO. The decor was mainly black while there were various silver lights placed around that were meant to look like stars. Everything looked rather high class and fancy without feeling pretentious in any way. Near the center of EXO there was a section that was closed off by silver curtains, Luhan was about to ask about that area but Lay had already begun walking towards the bar while saying,"Let me go and introduce you to the bartender. I’m sure you guys will get along.” They walked over to the bar and Lay called out to the man cleaning glasses with his back facing the two of them, “Baekhyunie!”
“Well finally the boss decided to show up, I was wondering when you would finally come back to see if I'd managed to set the place on fire yet,” the man said as he turned around with a grin. His smile was really beautiful but Luhan couldn't help but stare at how good he looked with eyeliner. The man that Lay referred to as Baekhyunie was not as tall as Luhan or Lay and he carried himself with a boyish charm that made him seem to be quite a joker in Luhan's eyes. He was wearing a a white graphic tee under a dark marron suit jacket that when paired with his dark brown hair, made him look less like a bartender and more like a clubber. “Did the boss get a boyfriend in two days? That doesn't seem like you!” Baekhyun grinned at Luhan while giving him a wink, “he’s pretty cute.”
Luhan looked at Lay wondering how he was suppose to react to this person. Lay just facepalmed as he simply said, “this is Luhan, not my boyfriend.” Baekhyun was blank for a few minutes when suddenly he gasped and his mouth formed a O shape.
“This is Luhan? I finally get to meet him? Wow, when you said he didn't really look like you I knew he was going to be cute but I didn't think he was this cute.” Baekhyun walked out from behind the bar while Luhan tried to figure out what exactly was going on. He relaxed slightly when he realized that Baekhyun didn't seem dangerous. Weird? Maybe a little bi,t but not dangerous. Baekhyun stood in front of Luhan and without warning he hugged him quite tightly. “Nice to meet you! Yixing wouldn't shut up about you in collage but he also wouldn't let any of us meet you. Finally I get to see you, oh and my name is Baekhyun.” Baekhyun said the last bit as he pulled away from the hug. Lay just stood by with a small grin on his face.
Luhan wasn't used to getting many hugs and he didn't really know how he felt getting hugged by a complete stranger but one thing was for sure, Baekhyun was warm. “Nice to meet you Baekhyun. AS you know I’m Luhan," Luhan said as he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun. In truth Luhan had heard a lot about Lay's friends during college from their many phone calls but there had been many names and Luhan didn't have a chance to remember a lot about all of Lay's friends. He had a faint memory of hearing the name Baekhyun and that name being paired with something about a lightswitch.
Baekhyun dragged Luahn over to sit at one of the tables to talk about what seemed like everything. Luhan looked over at Lay who was still standing at the bar but Lay just smiled without coming over.
Lay watched as Luhan laughed loudly at what was probabably another one of Baekhyun's dumb jokes.Lay couldn't remember a single time when Luhan laughed like that when they lived with her and he silently thanked Baekhyun in his head. He of course would never tell Baekhyun that he was grateful or he would never in his life hear the end of it. Lay saw Luhan say something back at Baekhyun which caused Baekhyun to hit Luhan in the shoulder as he laughed. It was only from a split second and Lay couldn't really see well from his angle but there seemed to be a grimace of pain that crossed Luhan’s face. Baekhyun didn't seem to notice while a horrible feeling filled Lay. He had seen that look too many times when they were yougner and the only thought that filled his head was, what the hell has she been doing to Luhan? Lay held in his feelings promising himself that once they reached the house he would see if his suspicions were correct. Lay was so deep in thought he didn't notice someone next to him until a hand began waving in front of his face.
“Lay? Is anyone home?” Lay snapped out of his thoughts as he looked up to see who was speaking to him. His face broke into a smile when he saw the person that he had been waiting to see.
“Chanyeol! You made it.” Chanyeol removed his snapback to smooth his hair back and then he put it on again. Chanyeol was taller than most and while Lay had originally envied his height, he had seen Chanyeol walk into enough low hanging things to realize that height wasn't everything. Chanyeol was dressed quite casually in t-shirt and jeans nad his signature snapback that made his ears seem like they stuck out more than they did.
“Well you asked me to be here so why wouldn't I have made it?” Chanyeol flashed him a very bright smile and Lay wondered if anyone brought spare sunglasses.
“Lets get to work! I will show you the back stage room and you can see what we still need.” Lay was about to lead him away when he felt the giant's hand on his shoulder.
“Are we ever going to write songs together again?” Chanyeol spoke just loud enough for Lay to hear as though he was talking about a big secret. Lay turned aounrd and smiled at Chanyeol. It had been a couple of months since the two of them had enough time write together but with everything coming together these past few weeks Lay knew that there would be a lot of song writing in the future.
“Of course we will” Lay said as he began moving thinking about how much fun it was going to do what he loved with the people he loved.
author's notes: Thanks for reading
Comments