December 17, 2018

I looked up at the sky and lifted my right hand, catching some snowflakes. Today is the first snowfall. It seems like the sky is as gloomy as me. I took my hand back and tore my gaze away from the sky. I blew some hot breath to my palms and placed both my hand inside my pockets to keep it warm.

Then, my phone beeped, a new message. I checked and read it.

I guess I should go now. I sighed and looked up at the sky again, “Hyung, how are you up there?”

I am now on my way to her house, walking. I decided to just walk rather than taking the bus. I was walking with my neck and half of my face covered with my red scarf. I kept my gaze on the ground, my thoughts keeping me busy.

What is Noona doing? I hope she’s feeling fine. 

I sighed for the nth time as if I have the biggest problem in the world. 

While walking, I didn’t fail to notice that there are a lot of couples on the sidewalk. There are couples who are walking hand in hand, some are cuddling. I looked away and brought my gaze back to the ground. It’s too sweet to look at – the couples. I continued walking to her house minding my own business.

I stopped walking and looked up, “Oh, I didn’t notice I arrived already.”

I am standing in front of her house. Why does it seem like the house look so sad all of a sudden?

Noona’s house is not that big. There is only one floor and there is a very beautiful large garden in front. Her house is surrounded with a not too tall white wooden fence.

The garden is really beautiful. There is a large maple tree at the left side and several types of shrubs everywhere. And what stood out the most are the pink tulips at the right side. It is Noona’s favorite flower.

But since it is winter, the tree has no leaves and everything is covered in snow. Before I could freeze here outside, I went inside, opening the gate of the fence and walked towards the door. I knocked and waited for her to open it.

It took a while before I heard footsteps. The door opened and I was greeted with a very beautiful lady. I smiled at her, “Hello, Soonkyu Noona.”

“Junmyeon!” She smiled back, “Oh, you must be freezing out there. Come in.”

I went inside and took off my thick coat. I hanged my coat on the tall coat hanger just beside the door and took off my scarf. I went towards the couch and sat down comfortably. Noona is just living alone, it must be lonely. Her parents, sisters, and grandparents are living in abroad.

“Junmyeon-ah!” Noona called out from the kitchen and asked, “What would you like to drink, hot chocolate or hot coffee?”

“Hot chocolate would be good,” I answered. I looked around the living room; there are no pictures of Hyung.

Noona came back to the living room, carrying a mug on each of her hands. She gave me the other mug and took the seat beside me. She’s wearing a white sweat pants paired with a loose black shirt and she tied her hair into a cute bun. But she still looks the most beautiful to me.

I wrapped my almost freezing hands around the mug and appreciated its warmth. I sipped a little of the hot chocolate, “Noona makes the best hot chocolate.”

Soonkyu Noona laughed and punched playfully my shoulder, “Lies.”

“It’s true though,” I grinned at her and took another sip.

“You’re only saying that because your Hyung might visit you in your dreams and scare you,” she joked.

Instead of laughing, I didn’t say anything and just stared at her. Noona stared back at me and our eyes locked.

Yes, she’s smiling and laughing. But now that I’m staring at her eyes, I realized something. I can see it through her, she’s sad. Her eyes says it all, her sad and empty eyes.

“Noona, are you okay?” I asked, whispering.

She smiled at me and stopped staring at my eyes. Noona placed her gaze at the mug she was holding, then her smile faded, “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“We both know why,” I answered.

Soonkyu Noona sighed and suddenly tore her gaze from her mug and smiled, “So, what are you busy about these days?”

She just changed the topic, but I let her. I won’t force her if she doesn’t like it.

“Work has been stressing me, I had to go to many events.” I answered.

“But that’s what idols do,” she giggled. “EXO is very popular nowadays. How about I become your number one noona fan?”

“That’s a great idea. I would give you signed albums and VIP tickets as many as you want.” I chuckled. But really, I would be the happiest EXO member if Noona becomes my our number one fan.

I took another sip from my hot chocolate and so did Noona. “I almost forgot. Noona, are you still taking your anti-depression pills regularly?”

She shook her head.

Noona lowered her mug and placed it on top of the pillow that was lying on her lap.

I noticed there were new fresh scars on her left wrist and I immediately snatched her left hand. I looked at her wrist, “When was this?”

Noona tried to take he