JIYONG'S POV

G-Dragon @IBGDRGN Mar 29

Gloomy Sunday!

It's been weeks since our last fight. She finally broke up with me and it's tearing me inside. What did I just do? How could I have let the best thing that ever happened to me slip away? How can I be so stupid. These days, I've lost my spirit.

Dara, the woman I love the most. My butterfly, my life. Dara and I have been secretly seeing each other for years. At first she was hesitant to be with me, her reasoning... was the . When I finally convinced her to be my baby girl, it was the happiest day of my life. She is the most loving, understanding and caring person I know. The only people who know about our relationship are my friends and hers and our managers. They've helped us conceal our love from the outside world. I wished I could've shouted out to everyone that she was mine. But she wouldn't let me. When we were first starting out, there were some fans who kinda caught on. Some of them said some hateful things. My baby girl might look strong on the outside but she's actually very fragile. For her safety, we decided to keep our relationship a secret. We decided to divert attention from us by me staying away from her during parties and me pretending to be interested in other girls. I never thought it would backfire.

For awhile, pretending became real. To my true friends, they know that what I am in public and what I am when it's just us are two different personas. In public, on stage, for my fans, I'm G-Dragon. To my friends, my family and Dara, I'm Kwon Jiyong. For some reason, I lost sight of the line between the two and I hurt my baby girl. I wish I could blame it on the media or my G-Dragon persona but I can't. Because the truth is, it was all me. I got blinded by fame and greed. The attention I was getting. I lost sight of what I was trying to do in the first place. Protecting her was my main goal and I failed. She told me, she couldn't stand it anymore. Seeing me at the parties and with the different girls hurt her too much. I was lost in the role I was trying to play. I messed up. And now all I can do is reflect on my mistakes.

I pressed the shuffle button on my MP3 player and the first song that comes on is "Something About Us" by Daft Punk. 

http://youtu.be/sOS9aOIXPEk

I might not be the right one

It might not be the right time

But there's something about us, I've got to do

Some kind of secret I will share with you

I need you more than anything in my life

I want you more than anything in my life

I'll miss you more than anyone in my life

I love you more than anyone in my life

The words just hit me to the core. My tears start falling down my eyes as I lay here on my bed. I miss her. If I tweet about this, will she see it? Will she see my true feelings? It's late but I think this song says it all.

G-Dragon @IBGDRGN Mar 30

#nowplaying Daft Punk - Something About Us http://youtu.be/sOS9aOIXPEk