Even if I lost everything, even if I lost my dreams and future, it could've been okay if that was for you

Chocolate brown eyes were b with light blue liquids, hands caressing a softer complexion; chest's heaving at another's very sight. Thoughts running through their minds, pain streaming across both faces; the younger wanting nothing more than to love him. He wanted nothing more than to pull the elder into his arms and hold him, tell him that everything would be okay if he was doing it for the elder.

If the other had ask him to give up the world, the latter would; if the elder had asked him to give up his life, he would. Only if it was for the elder, he would do anything and everything. “Joonmyeon-ah, please believe me – believe me when I say that it'll be okay. I love you and I'll do anything for you.” The wetness trailing down his face, bridging along side the latter's outline of his nose. The chocolate orbs staring deep at the dark brown ones in front of him, giving himself all to Joonmyeon.

You won't believe, you'll say it's only talk

“Telling me lies won't fix anything Jongdae. You know how I already feel. I don't believe, I'll never believe you.” Joonmyeon released himself from the soft hand that was caressing his cheek, taking a step back to look over the younger. His eyes glued on the beautifully sad face that was staring right into his soul, trying their best to carve their way into his heart.

But for joonmyeon, it just would never happen; it would never work. He will never believe the words that Jongdae tells him because all they are, are petty lies. Meaningless words that are being thrown at him a second time by a different person. He was already scared, scared by someone he thought was his one and only. The elder couldn't take another scaring, his heart couldn't handle another disappointment. So he just stopped believeing those types of words. Those that included promises, that meant promises; he just never believed them ever again.

And hearing them from Jongdae was no different then when he heard it from the ious. There was no changing his mind when Jongdae spoke them, because it was all the same. And the ending entailed nothing different for the both of them; disaster.

I felt like I had the whole world so I gave thanks over and over again. It was the first time I loved someone more than myself. I didn't want to be apart from you for a single moment, I'd rather be in pain. If only I could lay beside you, if I could just stay lying with you.

“Please believe me Joonmyeon – please. You're the first person – the first person I've loved more than myself. You're the first person to make me feel like the world is in the middle of my hand. You're the first person to show me that, if I took the time to get to know someone, then I'll be able to find a real gem out of them. And I have – I did. You are my gem Junmyeon. You are the one that I love. The only person in my life that shines so bright, I get lost in you. I will do anything for you. Please believe me. I love you Kim Joonmyeon.” His eyes were b with a mix of a painful confession. The tears continuing to fall as he spoke to the elder, hands hoovering over his chest, pounding at his heart as he let everything out. “You're the only one hyung. The only one in my heart, the only one in my mind. The only one. Your love is worth fighting for. Why won't you believe me? I'm trying so hard Joonmyeon, every day, I'm trying so hard to show you how much you mean to me.” The snot began to clog his nose, breathing becoming something that was hard for him to do. His fingers curling around the fabric that was attached to his body, clentching it tight. The latter's lip trembling from the thought of abandonment, words still spilling from his mouth.

“There's been plenty of times where I just wanted to run away with you, where I just wanted to shout to the world at the top of my lungs that I love you. That you are the one for me. I don't know what more I can do Joonmyeon. I just -- please. I'm begging you. Believe me. Trust in me when I tell you that I love you. Please--” The last word rolled off his tongue with a crack in his voice, his eyes pleading with desparation. Jongdae didn't know what to do anymore, he didn't know what to say anymore. He had said all he possibly could; yet the outcome was going to be the same.

Nothing was going to change Joonmyeon's mind, nothing Jongdae said was going to make the elder turn around to love him like he used to.

“I'm sorry Jongdae, but I can't. I just – can't.” Another step back, and he was shaking his head; his voice a faint whisper now. The elder couldn't risk it, he couldn't take another disappointment. He didn't want to feel the pain of a broken heart anymore. He couldn't risk his well being for someone else again. So he his heels and walked out of the latter's life as if he was just the bypassing wind. And all the latter could do was watch; he watched his heart jump out and leave along with Joonmyeon. His soul breaking deep inside, pieces falling off like a summer rose's petals during the winter, dispersing one by one slowly onto the ground, dwindling into nothing more than dust.

You'll never say, you won't believe me. But I could've been like that, if that was for you, if that was for you, for you.

A/N: Oh it's been too long. Here have some broken SuChen. Tell me what's wrong with my writing, critique etc. etc.