Dear Bomi,

How are you doing? Today the sun came out bright and clear, so it is warm. Feeling the warmth in my skin, it made me think of you. I hope you will stay warm as well.

Yours,
Byun Baekhyun

He keeps his gaze at the sky, so blue and clear without even a single cloud. The sun is up there blazing but the weather’s still chilly, especially when the wind blows and caresses his face. He squints his eyes at the sun and sees the rays through the gaps between his fingers. A smile appears on his face. It’s the type of days that he loves.

It’s another day at this arena where peaceful isn’t quite a suitable adjective to use, but it is the right one to describe the state at the moment. The troop is taking a break after long morning of digging and building fortresses around the area. Some risk getting reprimanded by their superiors and snore away in exhaustion, while others mostly just sit idly among themselves, engaged in conversations as if they’re at some coffee houses instead of here.

Here, Baekhyun thinks about it as he leans against the outer wall of the cave which serves as their base with the crumpled paper in hand. He tries to recall how long it has been since the first day he reported for duty but fails. The days he spent ever since then are blurry as most of them are just repetitions of the previous ones. They blend with one another along with the rest of them into a mess of memories that he wishes he didn’t have, leaving scars all over him beyond what eyes can see.

“Letter?” comes a voice.

Baekhyun looks up only to find his comrade joining his company, settling down next to him with a water bottle in hand which the latter offers to him. He cracks a smile, folds the paper and pockets it away before accepting the bottle and taking a swig.

“Hm, I see,” Kyungsoo muses. It draws a chuckle out of Baekhyun.

“What are you imagining up there in your creative little brain?”

“I said nothing.” He shrugs, wide eyed and poker faced, but he quickly breaks into another grin.

Kyungsoo is the closest friend Baekhyun has here, despite vowing to himself to not build any friendship or develop bonds with anyone because he knows not everyone will live to see the end of this war, and the wound from that will be the worst one. But Kyungsoo’s different. Coming from the same neighbourhood he’s known him almost all of his life, although fate never let them properly cross path until the day they drafted together. There’s a silver lining to that, he tells himself.

“How’s your leg?”

“Still kicking,” Baekhyun replies, wriggling his left leg that was hurt previously. “Literally. You should have seen me kicking Jongdae’s earlier.”

“What a shame.” And they laugh.

That night Kyungsoo finds him again when he’s at the water stream they stumbled across the day before. The former hands him his dinner of rice and whatever edible ingredients they found in the jungle as a side dish in a makeshift bowl made out of coconut shells. It tastes awful and the portion’s obviously too little for a grown man, but he knows better than to complain.

And when he reaches the bottom, he discovers a piece of fish hidden underneath the rice that’s clearly not a part of the menu prepared by whoever who is in charge of cooking for the night. He glances over at Kyungsoo who pretends to be oblivious about it while he swallows down his own.

There should be a silver lining to this friendship, especially now that he knows how funnily cruel fate can be.

Dear Bomi,

I am far from being a romanticist, but tonight I am on duty of guarding while my troop have their rest for the night, and I found myself staring at the moon. Somehow it looks bigger tonight, so big that it seems that if I reach out my hand I might be able to get a hold of it. But I know it’s impossible.

As I gaze at the moon, I get reminded of you. You are, in one way or another, similar.

Yours,
Byun Baekhyun

Yoon Bomi is the neighbourhood’s sweetheart. While she may not be the prettiest or the brightest, she has the biggest heart and the warmest smile. At least, she does in his eyes.

Having grown up together, moving from one stage of life to another, he witnessed her transition from a child to a young adult, losing those baby fats in her cheeks and blossoming into a fully grown woman like a flower in spring. Her smile, however, always remains the same ―he one that reveals her perfectly aligned small teeth and causes her nose to crinkle. And he loves that about her.

As a child sometimes Baekhyun makes up excuses so his parents would take him to her family’s humble rice and soup restaurant, which his mother would respond with a frown because he doesn’t even like rice and soup. He would drag his friends too in the later part of his life, a bit too often that they would get annoyed. And when they did he had to muster up courage to go on his own with books in hand so he can pretend that he’s there to do some studying just so that he can catch a glimpse of her.

And whenever he was there, she would always welcome and usher him in, even reward him with extra side dishes secretly, all with the smile that makes his heart twinge. Baekhyun thinks it’s unfair how much effect she has on him and how he can do nothing about it except letting the thoughts of her fill up his mind and dreaming of her when night falls.

To him, Bomi is the girl who’s always right there close to him yet always too far. She never fails to offer him a smile, be it at her restaurant or when he happens to run into her at school or somewhere in their neighbourhood. She never fails to address him with the nickname that is only reserved for her alone. Still somehow even when her eyes are on him, she always feels so distant and out of reach, especially when her fingers are interlocked with another guy’s, and he hates that about her.

But then again, Baekhyun never tried to reach out his hand.

Dear Bomi,

About 100 meter from the marketplace, at this quiet alley where people hardly pass by, there is a small stall selling fish breads that taste very delicious. Have you ever stumbled upon it? Last night just after I laid my head down, out of the blue, I craved for those breads.

After this war ends, if you don’t mind, would you like to come with me and eat the fish bread there together?

Yours,
Byun Baekhyun

Some nights when he’s on guard, Kyungsoo would stay up with him and insist to keep him company even when Baekhyun tells him he should have his rest and that he’s fine on his own. But Kyungsoo’s not one to listen so most of the times Baekhyun would be the one to give in.

He listens to his comrade talk, reminiscing the old days back in their neighbourhood that they don’t quite share, but out here in the battlefield no one says no to any tale from or about home, even if the home is not theirs. Funny now that he thinks about it how the two of them were never friends despite knowing and seeing each other regularly and having mutual friends between them. Kyungsoo chuckles when he mentions it, and wonders aloud if there’s any meaning to this fateful encounter.

“We became good friends now, didn’t we? I suppose that’s fate playing on us.”

Baekhyun supposes the same too, though to him the meaning comes off a little different.

Under the moonlight they share the heat from the bonfire, just big enough to provide warmth in this cold night and not attract unwanted attentions, as well as stories of their own. He tells his companion of the girl of his dreams and Kyungsoo starts talking about the love of his life, the glows on their faces apparent as they speak, dreamily and affectionately.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they are talking about the same girl. However Kyungsoo is unaware to Baekhyun’s decades long one-sided love towards Bomi still. After all, Baekhyun has never spoken about it out loud―his feelings for that spring-like girl from their neighbourhood―neither did he ever mention her name to anyone.

It’s still clear in his mind, the images of the two of them together, hands intertwined, exchanging secret smiles and whispering secret jokes into each other’s ears while he continues to look on quietly from the side lines. They are the darling pair that everyone can’t help but love and root for. And Baekhyun can’t help but be envious. If only it was him instead, if only he was more courageous and took more risks, if only, if only…

But the smile across Kyungsoo’s lips as he speaks of his fiancée is genuine, and Baekhyun thinks, perhaps in spite of everything, fate does know better than him.

Dear Bomi,

Writing letters has become a habit for me. When things get really ugly here and it is hard to look forward to another day, writing to you gives me a peace of mind. I keep writing without knowing whether someday you will receive these letters. However I write all these letters without intending for you to read them. I just keep doing so because… I miss you.

Yours,
Byun Baekhyun

He knows from the moment he is forced out of bed before the dawn breaks that he will not live to see the sun sets for the day. That is why, when he feels something piercing into the pit of his stomach, he is not shocked even for the slightest bit.

Blood oozes out from his left abdomen and Baekhyun struggles to keep his stance as he keeps aiming and releasing fires at the enemies from behind the fortress, but after a while the pain becomes too much to bear when he receives another hit on his arm so he collapses to his feet. Closing his eyes, he tries to endure as he presses his palm down to the wound from where the bullet penetrated in to stop the bleeding. His face begins to lose colours as sweats start trickling down.

He feels a presence next to him almost too quickly so he assumes that it’s the end of him now. However the voice that calls out his name is too familiar to his ears that even with his vision that has begun to be blurry, he can recognize it in a heartbeat.

“B-Baekhyun? Byun Baekhyun? Do you hear me?”

 “Kyungsoo,” he exhales in relief.

”Our side’s winning this and I notified the medics, so there’ll be help coming very soon. Right now you just need to hold on, you hear me?”

“It hurts like hell,” he pants.

Kyungsoo lays his friend down on his lap, tears off a clean cloth he keeps in his gears and ties it around Baekhyun’s wounded arm. “I know, man, I know,” he mutters in distress as he helps the older boy to drink from his bottle before wiping off sweats from his face. “But you just gotta hang on, okay? Stay with me.”

His lips still curl into a smile although it hurts to do so. Baekhyun tries to stabilize his vision so he can get a clear look of Kyungsoo’s face, but breathing becomes so much harder for him and he feels Kyungsoo’s hands shake.

“Y-you’ll make it through this, Byun Baekhyun! I know you can. And we… we’ll go home together!” His voice grows desperate and Baekhyun can hear it cracks. “We’ll go home together.”

The grip on Kyungsoo’s hand tightens, and he knows for sure now that everything is in good hands.

Dear Bomi,

I grew up listening to my father telling me to live without regrets, and that a man who regrets is not a real man. I have a regret in life, though. I suppose that makes me less a man.

When I was six years old, I was introduced to a girl who had just moved into the neighbourhood. She was too shy to face us and hid behind her mother’s skirt while her parents spoke to mine. Our eyes met when she peeked from her hiding spot. I assumed she would quickly hide again, but instead she just stared at me. It took a moment for her to finally break into a smile. And when she did, I thought I wanted to see her smile forever.

That little girl was you, and my biggest regret is that I did nothing and let someone else do the job of making you smile.

Yours,
Byun Baekhyun

Spring has long arrived. Flowers are blooming all over and the snow has all melted now.

The war ended no more than two weeks ago when both parties reached an agreement at last. All men who survived the battle, young and old, were allowed to head home after receiving their respective medals and honours for serving the country, along with wounds and scars from the battlefield that worth more than any award.

A particular young soldier sets down a box containing a stack of letters, wrinkled and stained, on the ground by a tomb with a carving of a certain name, and next to him stands a girl dressed in black attire, wearing a solemn expression on her face. Her eyes are moist but she does her best holding the tears in. She forces out a smile, the one that he loves, and tries to make it look as earnest as possible.

“We came to see you, my friend.”

It took a while to retrieve the bodies of the fallen soldiers. Some were not even recognizable anymore, while others were just pieces and fragments of what’s left of them. Kyungsoo was grateful that despite the wounds, he managed to keep Baekhyun in a perfect condition. His parents agreed to lay him to rest at a hill that overlooks the ocean, not too far from their hometown.

Bomi places a bouquet of carnations near the gravestone just by the box. She has read them all carefully one by one, his letters for her. Kyungsoo found them hidden away in Baekhyun’s getups while cleaning his belongings, and it only felt right to hand them over to the rightful owner who the letters are addressed to.

Their hand finds each other’s as the two of them breathe out a prayer. The silver bands on their fingers gleam under the sun. Soft wind caresses their faces when they’re finished, and tears finally escape Bomi’s eyes and roll down her cheek. Noticing that, Kyungsoo promptly brushes them away, squeezes her hand and cracks a smile for her. Almost immediately, she does the same.

“She’s in good hands, I promise you that.”

Kyungsoo vows to make her happy, not just for himself but also for his comrade, his friend and the love that could have been. He keeps the memories of his friend and the love he had―has―for her. He knows that although the weather’s still a little cold, their country still has a long way to go to pick itself up after the long war, him and Bomi have each other to share the smallest joy there is, and the greatest pain, and that they now have Baekhyun to watch over them through everything.

Dear Bomi,

I let too much time pass. I waited for too long. I have no idea when will my time comes, and if I will be coming home at all. In case I don’t, there is something that I really want you to know.

Yoon Bomi, I love you.

Love always,
Byun Baekhyun