His POV

It’s been three years since we broke up. It’s been years since I chose to love her again secretly. On the first months of our break-up I made grand gestures for her to come back to me, like giving her three layers of cake with butterflies that was almost the same height as her on her birthday. I gave her love letters that I used to do when we were still together but I think those letters only ended on the trash bins. Make a song just for her that I think I will do for the rest of my life.

But none of those efforts made her come back to me. She still insisted that the relationship that we had had been ended and will never be back. I still remember those times when she was ignoring me. Even there were cameras; she treated me like a person she doesn't know existed. She hated me that time, I know, but I still love her.

One time when we were having our performance together as a family in a concert, I always looked at her not minding if the fans will noticed the look of longing in my eyes. I always followed her on the stage even though my best friend told me that I looked like a puppy always following his master. But I don't mind because I really missed her.

I remember whenever I went near her; she always walked away from me. It was like she had a tracking device that tells her that the distance between us was less than a meter already. But I didn't give up.

When the concert ended, the time the artists need to hold hands together and bow to the audience. I ran to the other side of the stage and went besides her leaving my group mates on the other side. I was ecstatic when she held my left hand and we bow to the audience together with the other artist on our family. After that I didn't saw her for months because I was busy on our comeback. I know she didn’t even miss me after our break-up but still I am missing her.

After a few months I saw her interview when she was having a vacation on her second home. She said that she will forget all the bad memories from last year and she will start anew. No one knew how happy I was back then when I heard that she said those words that she will start anew. Hope rose inside me because I thought she would consider me on her life again.

But that hope was crushed when we talked on the rooftop of our building after her vacation. She told me that she forgave me already and would learn to forget the things that happened between us. She indeed considered me on her life again but just a friend, not the relationship I thought that time. She asked me if we should continue our friendship and I just simply nodded.

I don’t know if I should be happy because at least she’s not ignoring me or I should be lonely because she wouldn’t still come back to me. I was so lost at that time. The ached I felt in my heart was beyond painful, I was hurt so bad. But I couldn’t blame her or anybody else because I was the reason why she broke up with me.

That night when the leaves on the trees are falling on the ground, my heart was broke to a million pieces when she ended our relationship. That was also the first time I shouted at her, though it was on the phone I regret doing it.

After our talked on the rooftop she treated me like how she treated her other guy friends. I’m not special to her anymore, but still she’s the most special person in my life. For the time being I was happy seeing her smiles so I decided to love her secretly like how I loved her before. I chose to stay like this for her happiness.

Months had passed, I started to date again. Not because I don’t love her anymore but because I still love her. I don’t know if my reason to do it is for me to focus on other things than her or for her to get jealous so I will know if we have a chance again. Maybe both were my reasons.

Before whenever I talked about my dating style, I used to say that I want to date my girlfriend secretly because I want to protect her which is true to her. But with my current girlfriend we were always caught. I didn’t mind though, by those scandals I proved to her that I moved on already which is far from the truth.  I didn’t take good care of my girlfriend like the way I took care of her.

What can I do? I really don’t care. Maybe she noticed it and like a good friend that she is, she talked to me yesterday before she went to a music show. She told me that I should visit my girlfriend and show how really caring I am. After that I realized something which is the reason why I am in this foreign country.

I went to my girlfriend’s place to break up with her. I felt so sorry that I used her. I can’t fall inlove with somebody else if my heart had been occupied for one girl for a long time. That was the thing that I realized after she talked to me. After we closed our relationship I decided to go back and talk to her, the girl that I love.

Now we are on the rooftop of our building again. I called her to confess to her for the times I can’t already count. I hope that she still feel the same way as me. But based on what she’s asking me right now after I said that I broke-up with my girlfriend well technically my ex-girlfriend, I seriously doubt that she still loves me.

“Why you two broke up? I thought you’re going strong? What happened? You want me to talk to her? But I’m not good in the Japanese language you know that. Maybe I will ask Chaerin to—“

“I love you.”

“—help me.” She stopped talking and looked at me. “What did you say?”

“I said I love you.”

“Ah of course I love you too. We’re family right? You’re my brother and I’m your sister remember?” I shook my head while she was saying those words.

“I said I still love you Dara, not a family love but the kind of love a man give to his woman. I want you back. In three years since we broke up, my feelings for you didn’t faltered instead it grows stronger everytime I miss you, I see you, I talk to you, everything about you makes me love you more. I want you back Dara, please let’s start again.”

“I can’t Ji. We can’t.”

“Why? Don’t you love me anymore?”

“I have a boyfriend now.”

“What?! Who??”

“Donghae. Lee Donghae.”

“I-I d-don’t care. You didn’t answer my question if you don’t love me.”

“Ji, I don’t love you anymore.” She said while looking at me. I felt the tears b on the corner of my eyes but I held it back to ask her the last question I need to know. “Do you love him?”

“I can’t say that for now. But I like him and I am happy to be with him.” She said while smiling a little

Hearing her said those words and seeing her smiled because of another man the tears on my eyes finally flowed down on my cheeks. I closed my eyes and turned around for her not to see me crying but because of the loud sob I am making I’m sure she already knew. So much for protecting my ego, she always kills it.

My eyes are still closed when I felt her tiny fingers wiping my tears away. Then suddenly I felt her tiny arms around me and her head on my shoulder. “Ji, though I am the reason why you are crying, I still want to comfort you as your noona. Always remember that you will be special in my heart forever.” she released her hug and wiped the tears on my face again.

“There’s always a time for everything, we don’t know what the future holds so just go with the flow just for now, neh?” I nod my head and she kissed me on my cheek. “You will be happy again.” Then she walked out of the rooftop leaving me alone.

Maybe this is the end of us. Maybe we don’t have the chance to be together again....or maybe not. But the thing that I am sure of is when she said that I will be happy again.

--END—

Note: I just want to clarify that this one-shot is just a product of my crazy mind. I NEVER think that what happened in this story also happened in real life or wished it to happen. I never think that Dara and Donghae are in a relationship (even though I'm a Darahae shipper) or think that GD and Dara broke up three years ago or GD wrote letters to dara. I hope you understand me. There are just people who assumed that if an author write this kind of story they think that the author believe or wish that his/her fanfic happened in real life. I'm not like that.

And I want to say that I proofed read my stories before I published them. The reason why you still see errors is because I’m not good in English so mianhe.

Anyway thank you for reading. ^^