"Aaaish! Damn it, Damn it, Damn it!"

Kim Taeyeon growled and slammed her hands on the steering wheel. She tried again and again to press on the gas, praying for the car to budge forward.

"Just a few more miles!"

 

The car refused to start. Angirly, Taeyeon slammed the gearshift into park and yanked the keys out of the ignition, throwing them behind her and face planting the steering wheel in frustration.

 

A few moments passed, and Taeyeon finally sighed to herself in resign. Her name meant "calm" for a reason. 

 

Slumping back into the seat, she looked out on the orange horizon before her. It was about four pm, and the sun was already beginning to set on the countryside. The grass was seemingly golden in the light of the sunset, and the few trees that were around were large with a bushel of leaves and blossoms and strong, sturdy trunks.

 

It was then that Taeyeon noticed a rather large cottage, not that far up the road. In all the years that she had lived in South Korea, she hadn't visted the country that much, and couldn't really tell if the cottage was just a very expensive house or some sort of establishment.

 

Regardless, Taeyeon decided, there had to be some type of way for her to use a landline there. From what she did know about the country, was that her cellphone--no matter how good the service--would not be that much help in this situation.
 

Stepping out of the car and locating the keys in the backseat as well as her purse, Taeyeon closed the doors and began the trip up the road.

*^*^*

Knock Knock, Knock Knock.

 

Taeyeon tightened her grip around her purse as she contemplated whether she should go right in or not. She still didn't know if this was a community building. If it was, she'd never get an answer and then what would she do? But if it wasn't, she could be trespassing and even if the place was a residency, who was to say anyone would be home? Was she supposed to just sit outside the door and wait, hoping that when the resident(s) come home they'd be nice enough to help her out?

 

She was so lost in thought that she jumped when someone answered the door. "Annyeonghaseyo, who is it?"

 

Taeyeon turned back with a nervous smile. 

 

"Annyeonghaseyo, my name is Kim Taeyeon and---"

 

She froze midsentence, shocked by the person standing in front of her. 

 

No, please, no.

 

"Annyeonghaseyo Taeyeon-ssi, my name is Jung Sooyeon." The woman said, bowing slightly. "How may I help you?"

 

NO! 

Not now, not today!

 

"Uh-uhm...Annyeonghaseyo Sooyeon-ssi, I was a-actually wondering if I could use your p-phone? My car, uhm, b-broke down, and..."

 

Taeyeon stuttered nervously, staring at the woman before her with a mixed expression of confusion, sadness and guilt. This could not be happening.

 

Sooyeon smiled. "Ah, ne ne, of course you can. I'm so sorry, why don't you come in and I'll make some tea?"

 

"Ah, n-ne. Kamsahabnida."

 

Despite being as awkward as possible, Sooyeon didn't seem to notice Taeyeon's discomfort. She walked off somewhere, calling over her shoulder. "The phone's in the living room right there, go ahead and use it!"

 

"Gomawo Sic---Kamsahabnida Sooyeon-ssi!" Taeyeon called back, catching her slip and covering . She slipped off her shoes, and began to look around.

 

The house was nice, and big. It was fashionable, but it a lazy, cozy way. Pictures of beautiful landscapes were on the wall, as well as a few magazines decorating the coffee table. The colors were all pastels with a view dark pieces thrown in, creating beautiful contrast to the room.

 

Exactly like her. Taeyeon thought with a bitter smile, sitting down and picking up the reciever just as Sooyeon returned from the kitchen.


 

"Here you go. I forgot to ask, how old are you?" Sooyeon asked, handing the melancholy woman a beautifully ordained china cup filled with tea.


 

"Ah, I-I'm thirty years old. My birthday is March 9th..." Taeyeon replied.
 

"Oh, you're older than me then, Taeyeon-ssi. I was born April 18th, same year though. If you'd like, you can call me Jessica, that's my actual name. Sooyeon is my birth name." Jessica said, taking a sip of her own tea and then looking at the older girl with a smile. Taeyeon did her best to force her own smile, politely sipping her tea and nodding.

 

"Kamsahabnida, Jessica-ssi."
 

*^*^*

"What do you mean she doesn't remember?!"

 

The doctor clutched his clipboard, looking at the eight girls in front of him. "I'm sorry, ladies, but Sooyeon's head injury is so severe it seems to of caused extensive brain damage. She doesn't remember anything...You have my condolances."

 

"NO! She has to remember! SHE HAS TO REMEMBER US--HOW CAN SHE FORGET US!?" Taeyeon screamed, being held back by Tiffany and Hyoyeon.

 

"TaeTae, please calm down..." Tiffany whispered, petting the leader's hair. Taeyeon fought them, eventually breaking free only to collapse to the ground in front of the door to Jessica's hospital room.

 

"NO! Sica-yah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I should of protected you, I shouldn't have let you get so far away from me! It was stupid, Sica-yah! I'm stupid! Please remember us, Sica-yah! Please remember me!"

 

"Unnie..." Seohyun cried, trying to hug her leader. Taeyeon rejected her, pushing her members away from her when they tried to console her. She shakily stood up on her legs and pounded on the glass window next to the door, showing an unconcious Jessica inside.

 

"REMEMBER ME SOOYEON-AH! SOOYEON-AH! MIANHAEYO SOOYEON-AH! MIANHAE!"

 

"Taeyeon, stop!" Tiffany shouted, pulling her best friend from the window, crying just as hard. She quickly enveloped her in a hug,  trying to calm her down."Shh...Shh...TaeTae, please...Please stop..."

 

"Mianhae Sooyeon-ah..." Taeyeon sobbed, burying her face in Tiffany's chest. She continued to cry on the floor as the other members were finally allowed to hug her as well, all with tears in their eyes. It took so much, to make Taeyeon so upset. Her and Jessica got into a fight that practically severed their bond that once used to be so close, so unbreakable. Lately, they had gotten on speaking terms, and right before...Right before Jessica got hurt, they were almost starting to reconcile...But now...

Now there was no hope at all.

"Sica-yah, are you even there...?" Taeyeon whispered weakly, slowly letting herself be dragged back to the waiting room. She fell into Tiffany's lap, her legs being covered by with small blanket by Yoona while Seohyun sat on the floor and held the leader's hand, the other members staying with the doctor to get more information.

 

"Saranghae, Sooyeon-ah...Saranghae...Saranghae~"


 

Taeyeon felt a place inside her soul suddenly disappear, as a single tear rolled down her cheek before she passed out from exhaustion.

*^*^*

Taeyeon hung up the phone while Jessica refilled their cups. She returned just as Taeyeon had finished her conversation, and looked at her with hopeful eyes.

 

"Were you able to reach somebody, Taeyeon-ssi?"

 

The older woman nodded. "Ne, my best friend's coming to get me...it-it shouldn't be a problem..."

 

"I'm glad!" Jessica said, smiling. "You can stay here until they come, of course. I have something I'm working on right now, though, so would you be alright by yourself for some time?"

 

Taeyeon nodded quickly. "Ne, Jessica-ssi. Thank you for the tea."

 

"No problem!"


 

Jessica smiled at her again and stood up, walking up a staircase and disappearing from view, leaving the former leader to slump into the couch and allow the tears to fall that had been welling up ever since her former member opened the door.

*^*^*

Taeyeon felt tears well up in her eyes as she saw Jessica laying in the hospital bed, weak and broken, with no way to fix her.

 

"Sica-yah, don't you remember me?"

 

"Aniyo...Who are you?"

 

"It's me, Taengoo...Sica-yah, please, you have to remember me..."

 

"Mianhae...I...don't..."

 

The younger girl drifted back off into sleep, leaving a heartbroken Taeyeon sitting on her bedside, sobbing into her hands.

*^*^*

Taeyeon was awoken when she felt Jessica stir in her sleep. She watched the younger woman for a moment before readjusting herself in her chair and closing her eyes again.

 

"Taeyeon-ah saranghae..."

 

Her eyes snapped open. She quickly jumped to Jessica's bedside, leaning over her and carefully brushing a strand of fallen hair from her face.

 

"Sica-yah? Sica-yah, are there, are you listening?"

"Hmmn..."
 

"Sica-yah!" Taeyeon exclaimed, feeling her heart swell up.

"Hmm...Who...who are you...?" Jessica whispered, her eyes barely fluttering open before dropping again, her head lulling to the side.


 

The leader quickly deflated. Tears broke loose, and she began sobbing again. She couldn't do this everyday. It was too much.

"Saranghae, Sooyeon-ah..." Taeyeon whispered, kissing Jessica on the lips one last time, before packing up her backpack and leaving the hospital room. 
 

"Yeongwonhi saranghae."

                                                                                                          *^*^*

Taeyeon covered as a small peep escaped her. She wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt, taking a long gulp of tea and throwing her head back, staring at the ceiling, trying to regain control of herself. That night she had left the hospital, crying, and swore to herself she wasn't going to go back. The doctors had already confirmed; Jessica would never regain her memory. Her childhood, her family, her trainee days, SNSD's debut, it was all gone. Everything.

Jessica was a whole new person, who would have to build new memories with those closest to her; her parents and her sister. Maybe Yoona, Yuri and Hyoyeon had stayed behind too. Taeyeon didn't really know. Her contract ran out during those weeks she spent at the hospital with Jessica, trying to get the Ice Princess to regain any memory of her. She didn't renew it. She left SNSD, leading to it's disbandment, and moved far away from her former friends, dropping all contact with her former life. The only person she talked to now was Tiffany, who also cut many ties with their former friends in support of her.

It just hurt too much to go back there.
 

Taeyeon knew this because as she sat here, in the living room of her past lover, who remembered nothing at all and treated her like a stranger--because to her, she was a stranger--She felt her heart chip away each second she spent there.

Knock knock, Knock, Knock.

"Yah? TaeTae?"
 

Taeyeon quickly wiped her face again and felt a small part of her brighten. She went to the front door and opened it, greated by Tiffany's worried face.
 

"Omo, TaeTae! Are you alright, did you get hurt?" Tiffany exclaimed, hugging her tight. Taeyeon smiled, genuinely smiled, hugging her back.
 

"Aniyo, Ppany. Uhm, we can go, let me just go say thanks one last time, alright?"
 

Tiffany nodded, "I called a tow truck, we can drive my car back to my place, alright?"
 

"Alright."
 

Tiffany left and Taeyeon turned back to the living room, venturing up the stairs she saw the former Ice Princess go up quietly.

"Uhm, y-yah, Jessica-ssi?"
 

As she reached the top of the staircase she noticed a faint light peeking out of a doorway at the top of a smaller staircase down the hall. She made her way to it, and decided against leaving without saying goodbye. That would just be rude, regardless of who Jessica used to be to her or not.

Slowly ascending the smaller, steeper stairs, Taeyeon noticed she was in some sort of attic. She looked around, seeing various polaroids hanging off strings and camera equipment everywhere. More landscape photos lined the walls, as well as pictures of Jessica herself.

So like her.

Jessica was sleeping at a desk facing a picture of her and her family. As she got closer, Taeyeon noticed it was a photo she had never seen before, but Jessica was still wearing her hospital band in the photo, so she assumed it was around the same time she had left.

The same time Jessica had begun a new life without her.

Taeyeon crouched next to the sleeping woman who, in a different life, possibly would of been her future wife.

"Sica-yah, are you listening?"

"Eoh?" Was the sleepy response. Taeyeon swallowed her tears, kissing Jessica on the cheek.

"Yeongwonhi saranghae, Sooyeon-ah. Yeongwonhi."

Smiling sadly as she stood up, Taeyeon gently the former Ice Princess' gorgeous hair before she able to regain herself, carefully exiting the attic and walking back downstairs to the living room, slipping her shoes on. She walked out the door, greeted by the dark shade of the sky as the sun was quickly setting in the country side.

Tiffany was waiting for her, and Taeyeon climbed in, deciding to herself that she wouldn't tell Tiffany about who was really inside the house before they drove off; following the tow truck back to Tiffany's house on the other side of the city, the former leader finally sighing to herself in a sense of relief as she felt a weight lift off her shoulders.
 

She was no longer broken.

Only horribly, horribly cracked.
 

*^*^*

Jessica yawned as she woke up, stretching her arms and being greeted by the sound of a phone ringing. Unsticking a pencil from her cheek and rubbing the sore spot with a pout, she walked down the stairs and picked up the phone.

"Yobseyo?"

"Yobseyo Unnie~How's your memory doing?"

"Ah, better. I remember we went shopping last week, and we ate a meal together. Something happened today though, I can't remember what..."
 

"Unnie, you know your memory's not going to come back fully. Don't pressure yourself, okay? Just be happy you remembered what you did." Krystal said on the other line. Jessica smiled, nodding.

"I will."

"I'll be home soon, alright?"

"Alright."
 

Hanging up the phone, Jessica looked at her front door and noticed the mat was crooked. Edging it back with her foot, she sighed and stretched again, deciding to take a nap on the couch before her sister came home. She noticed there were two teacups on the coffee table, and furrowed her eyebrows. Maybe she had forgotten to clean up after her and Krystal earlier that day?
 

Shrugging it off and Getting comfortable, she smiled to herself as this position felt much better than falling asleep at her desk.

She could already feel herself drifting off...

"Nado saranghae, Tae...Taengoo...?"