“what’s so funny?” asked a confused Tiffany, scratching her head adorably, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I suddenly saw Hyoyeon come behind her, wrapping one arm around my Fany’s waist!? I suddenly felt my heart clench at the sight. I tried to control myself and look away, but I couldn’t just tear my eyes away from her.

“Ah Fany-ah, you just said ‘brighter-than-mushrooms’ instead of ‘brighter-than-gems!’” I watched as she finished her sentence while wrapping both arms around tiffany’s waist, my heart continued to clench harder as I saw her leaning her body towards Hyoyeon’s…I..I can’t take it anymore..seeing her this close to someone other than me is just..heartbreaking..I could feel it..God why does she have to do this to me?! Why her?! I slowly turned the other way, tearing my eyes away from my angel, the girl I fell in love with.

Yes I Kim Taeyeon, is in love with my member Hwang MiYoung. I’ve tried to drop hints on her about my feelings, but of course she is too deep to see through. I heard giggles from both Hyoyeon and Fany, a quivered sigh escaped my lips as I continued to stare at the floor as if I had never seen one before. I wanted to cry, I wanted to tell her, but I know if I do, I’d ruin a friendship we both have been able to build up over the years. But I’ve also been trying to leave hints about my feelings since the very first day I let my eyes on her. My eyes started watering slowly at the thought of never being able to love her, hold her and be with her..

“Taeyeon, focus on the show” Sooyoung nudged me back to reality. I sighed and nodded and put up a fake smile towards the camera as the show ended with us all shouting our chants.

I need a break, this is my chance and so I’m going for it. I ran towards the back stage, not before I heard Fany calling after me, but right now, I’m too broken. If I face her right now, I’d break down in front of her and confess. I don’t want that happening. I think I should go for a little walk after I get changed. And with that last thought, I ran towards our car and seated myself.

Jessica’s POV.

“Kamsahamnida!” I clapped and bowed to our loving SONE’s as our show came to an end. I looked around for Taeyeon and saw her running to back stage with Tiffany calling after her. I wonder why though, usually Taeyeon would always wait for Tiffany before going to backstage together. Is something up?

I sighed before I walked backstage with a fake smile on my face as always. I was walking slower than usual. I looked straight, once more searching for Taeyeon, I saw Tiffany but Taeyeon’s not with her..? Something is definitely up. God where is she?!

“Yah Yuri! Where’s Taeyeon?” I asked as Yuri passed by, she looked up to me and I saw that she wasn’t her usual cheerful self. “What’s wrong?” I asked almost immediately, because we all know Kwon Yuri is always a Kkab-Yul after a live show. I saw her look at Tiffany and shake her head before glancing down.

“What’s wrong Yuri?” I repeated my question as I started to get impatient.

“Tiffany unnie what’s wrong” she whispered before walking to the van. Tiffany’s what’s wrong? What’s that supposed to mean?

“What’s that supposed to mean Yuri?” I voiced my thoughts, pulling Yuri back next to me.

“You know, Taeyeon unnie likes Tiffany unnie right?” as much as it hurt to hear, I slowly nodded.

“Well you know how usually Taeyeon tries to leave hints of her feelings to Fany unnie? Today and for the last few days, Taeyeon unnie stopped leaving hints, I guess she is too hurt by the way how Fany unnie doesn’t seem to understand the hint or her feelings. Hyoyeon was hugging unnie so closely today, just thinking about the broken look she had on her face is just…it breaks me apart to see Taeyeon unnie like that Jessica! I wish Fany unnie comes to her senses or Taeyeon unnie forgets about her!” I saw Yuri tearing up and run towards the car.

I knew it had something to do with Fany..God Taeyeon, why her?! You’re always getting hurt by her..and Fany…damn she needs to understand! With that last thought I went towards the car Yuri was in, turns out it’s going to be Me, Yuri, Tiffany, Taeyeon and Hyoyeon in one car and the rest four in the other. Oh that’s just great!

The whole car ride was filled with Hyoyeon and Fany’s flirty giggling. I glanced at Taeyeon from backseat and saw her looking outside through the window. A deep yet shaken sigh escaped her lips and I knew she was breaking down. My whole body tensed up as another sigh escaped Taeyeon. It breaks me apart to see Taeyeon like this. Why can’t Fany see through Taeyeon? Why can’t Taeyeon see through me..? I’ve always watched from afar, Taeyeon’s dorky smile, her cute giggle, her byun-taeng-ness is all for Tiffany. Tiffany Tiffany Tiffany, that was her whole world. But Fany didn’t see that. Best friends, that’s what it was to Fany. Nothing more, nothing less. I leaned back and saw Yuri glancing at Taeyeon, her eyes still watery.

I knew the reason why Yuri was crying. No it was not because she has romantic feelings towards Taeyeon. The look in her eyes was pure concern and worry. Ever since Yuri’s first training day, Taeyeon and Yuri had been best friends. All though always on live Yuri and Yoona are best of friends, Taeyeon was like a bigger, closer sister to Yuri and the same goes for Taeyeon. Taeyeon and Yuri are like the ultimate sisters. Even though they don’t show much skin-ship or say it out loud, when a situation comes where any one is hurt, it’s like a sister’s intuition to both of them. While what I had was and is romantic feelings to Taeyeon. Ever since our first day together, I’ve fallen for her. I knew from way back then that Taeyeon liked Fany, but I never questioned it. Yes it hurts, watching them all close together. It hurts to see Fany in Taeyeon’s arms, when I was supposed to be the one in that embrace. It hurts to see the small peck on the cheek tae gives to Fany after every performance, it hurts that Taeyeon’s entire world revolved around Tiffany, When she didn’t have a slightest clue of Taeyeon’s feelings for her.

My eyes swelled up as the thoughts came up, the un-answered questions and memories ran through my head. ‘She’ll never love me…’ I said in my head as I looked down as a tear made it’s way down my cheek. I’m glad its dark so no one can see my broken side. I soon felt a hand over mine and saw Yuri looking at me.

I sniffed quietly as more tears went down my cheeks. Yuri looked confused for a second before she nodded quietly as she answered her own question and wiped my tears. I saw her leaning towards me.

“don’t cry, we’re going to pull over soon and we don’t want anyone suspecting” she whispered as I understood the meaning and wiped my own tears away. I glanced at Taeyeon once we reached our dorm, I saw her sigh deeply, it hurts me. I know she is breaking down on the inside. I know what it feels like to see the girl you love with someone else.

Once the car pulled over, Taeyeon was the first one to get out and speed walk herself to our room. Me and Yuri exchanged glances before hearing Tiffany calling after Taeyeon. I glared at her before looking at Yuri.

“Could you get Hyoyeon and Fany separated while I talk to her?” I whispered lowly so only me and Yul can understand our conversation.  She smiled weakly before nodding and walking towards Hyoyeon. Well all went up the elevator to our dorm. This is it, I’m going to give my piece of mind to Fany and I don’t care if Taeyeon likes it or not, I’m going to tell her everything.

“Taeyeon-ah! Taeyeon-ah! Why are you mad at me?” I heard tiffany ask, I caught her arm before she could get into the room Taeyeon was in.

“Yah, what’s wrong Sica?” she questioned me before I pulled her into my room and closed the door.

“You are what’s wrong Hwang Tiffany!” I whispered before glaring straight into the eyes.

“What did I do?” she asked, completely confused. What did you do? Break mine and Taeyeon’s heart.

“Can’t you see Fany? Can’t see you the damage you’ve done on Taeyeon? Everything in her eyes and actions screams ‘I Love you’ but all you can return is ‘neh tae, you’re the bestest friend in the entire universe’! ”I shouted, my rage coming up.

“What’s that supposed to mean Sica? Taeyeon loves me?!” I saw her face scrunched up

“Yes Fany, for the past 8 years she’s been in love with you! Everything she does and says is for you. She’s been in love with you ever since you came into her life! She’s been trying to leave hints of her feelings at you for the past 8 years-“

“But she’s my best friend! She can’t love me! And She’s a girl SICA!” That’s it Fany!

“DAMN IT FANY CAN’T YOU SEE?! ARE YOU THAT BLIND?” I screamed at her before grabbing her shoulders, pinning her against the wall. I don’t care if I hurt her, but I need to let this out.

“It’s not FAIR fany! You don’t even love her! You don’t even like her and as you just said she’s only your BEST FRIEND! BEST FRIEND FANY! It’s not fair that she loves YOU! While I’ve been here all the time, watching her be happy. Every time she smiles its because of you, every time she giggles its because of you, I WANNE BE THE REASON FANY!! I WANT TO BE THE REASON!” I screamed before pushing her away and kneeling myself on the floor. I can’t do this anymore. My eyes spilled tears that I’ve been trying to contain all these years…and it hurts…it hurts so much…I know its hurting Taeyeon more than its hurting me but I can’t help but be selfish right now because it’s simply not fair.

“It’s not fair that she loves you, when I’m the one who love her…truly…madly and deeply!” I shouted it out, my confession now thrown out of myself.

I heard the door creak and I looked up to see who it was. My eyes widened and my heart started racing as if I’m running a track.

“Sica…” I head her low whisper before I ran out. I ran away, scared. I didn’t care where I was running to, but I ran ignoring all the members screaming for me. I ran outside the building and ran towards the street.

“SICAAAAA WATCH OUT!” was the last words as I said before I found myself flying and not so later, I reached the ground with a bang, my head turned to the right to see Taeyeon running towards me and that was the last thing I saw before my eyes closed.