HYUKJAE POV

 

 

I sighed as I threw myself on the couch at the library, staring at the papers about upcoming events Xiah said it’s about music festival.

 

Kibum and the others said they will work on that so I don’t have to think about this anymore, though.

 

I rolled on the couch, pouting.

 

It’s Tuesday, now.

 

 

I have some assignments but really, I don’t know why I really have no appetite to do any of it.

 

 

I miss Hae.

 

I miss him even I know I met him yesterday morning—he doesn’t even went home with me and sleep at my place because of all the business he had.

 

Which is why I missed him so bad.

 

 

I miss his warmth, his smile, his laugh, his lips his voice, his... Everything.

 

 

Argh!

 

Thinking about him make me miss him more and more, I couldn’t even bare to take it.

 

If I call him, he may not have finished his stuffs yet and hasn’t done any break, which I definitely will disturb him.

 

It’s true, I’m not as busy as him, because Hae has to think about many upcoming events, and I only have one the earliest—which again, Kibum and the others said they will take care of that well, along with Kyuhyun and the others too.

 

Besides, these days since I back to schooling, there is one girl that definitely got my attention.

 

Not because she’s cute—gosh, to be honest, there are so many cute girls at Fukuura—those girls who sometimes check Hae out, like his fan girls, or even those who support our relationship.

 

But because she’s… I don’t know.

 

I once thought that she maybe in love with Hae and deep inside want to get rid of me, but no, she knows me first I bet, since I saw her about to bump into a car, just like what happened to me year ago.

 

It makes me remember Hae, thinking about that.

 

But of course, I didn’t fell, she didn’t fell, and the most of it, I didn’t attract to her face just like the time Hae saved me from that stupid car.

 

 

I still haven’t forgotten that time.

 

Ah.

 

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and start typing a message—can’t hold it anymore.

 

 

To: Hae

Mssg: Are u busy Hae? Fighting! ^^

 

 

I smiled.

 

Oh, yeah, that girl.

 

Hae never mentioned about her, but she said that she knows Hae, obviously. She often visited me and tells me some stories when Hae’s not around, which that’s a pretty good thing to kills time, when I have some free and boring time alone.

 

 

Her name’s Tiffany.

 

 

I choose to not tell more things about her to Hae, since I know Hae doesn’t wish to be bothered by some story from his boyfriend, about another girl.

 

It’s not that I’m cheating to her, though.

 

 

The first thing she came back from Rakooga, she visited me and said that she’s going to treat me lunch or maybe dinner since she wants to say thanks properly about me saving her earlier. But of course, I refused her offer and I didn’t know it will make her came back to me even more.

 

She’s a stubborn girl I knew so far.

 

 

“Hyung?”

 

I snapped, looking towards the voice direction which revealing Kibum, with his books.

 

I waved lazily, still lying on the couch. “Hi, Bum ah. What’s that?”

 

“Huh? These?”

 

He raised his books to me and talked again without waiting my responses. “These are only books to do some of my assignments that I have to submit next week,” He shrugged, and sat on the single couch in front of me.

 

I didn’t reply.

I am too lazy to know it, though.

 

“How’s Siwon?” I asked him out of nowhere since I don’t want him to remind me about the assignments that I have to finish too.

 

He raised his brows and suddenly pouted. “He hasn’t come back yet, but…” his face brightened. “He will come back tomorrow,”

 

“Oh, where’s he?”

 

“He said he’s currently in France, just got back from Netherlands, he said,”

 

 

I just hummed in response, since I don’t know what to say. What if I’m the one in Kibum’s position? I haven’t met Hae in only a day and I already missed him like crazy.

 

Will he miss me like I do?

 

 

I rolled lazily on the couch. “Maybe I’ll skip next lesson,”

 

“Eh? Why? Are you feeling unwell, hyung?” Kibum asked and I can sense slight panicked in his voice which made me chuckled.

 

“Kind of,”

 

“Should I bring you to the infirmary or—“

 

“Nah, I’m fine,” I said, covered my eyes with the back of my hand. “You better finish up your assignments or just tidy up, the bell is about to rang,”

 

“Mm-hmm,” he murmured, “Anyway hyung, Kyuhyun said that Rox about to search for new members. Should we too?”

 

 

Oh, yeah I know that too.

 

That’s one of the reasons why Hae is damn busy too, since there’s no Leeteuk hyung, Kangin hyung, Heechul hyung and Hankyung hyung anymore.

 

But Fox?

 

We still complete—even without Shindong hyung, but I replaced him, right?

 

 

Should we search for new member so when me and Xiah graduated, there will be enough people to take care of the school by being the student council?

 

“Maybe… Later,” I muttered. “No need to rush, we’re still complete,”

 

I heard him stood up. “Ah, yeah.  Well then, hyung. I better go now, get well soon okay? Just text me or someone else if you need something. Better let Taemin know so he’ll take care of you,”

 

Oh, yeah. Taemin is a doctor-wanna-be.

 

But I don’t think that I’m that sick, so I just nodded in respond.

 

 

I don’t even think that I’m sick.

 

I’m just…

 

 

I need Hae so bad I don’t even know it how much.

 

 

Aish.

 

 

-----

 

 

Fr: Hae

Mssg: Eat well baby, don’t get sick. I love you ^^

 

 

I bit my lower lip.

 

No lunch together, again?

 

 

I’m already dying to see him but he said earlier that he’s unable to eat lunch because he’s doing his work that he supposed to do after school.

 

That’s nice too, since that way, he’s able to go home with me and even sleep at my place, if he’s okay with that.

 

 

By him sleeping in my place, I always imagining that he’s my husband that I have to pamper always—AAAA STOP! Before I get to squeals randomly like one of his fangirls.

 

I let out my cheese burger that I bought at cafeteria earlier and my strawberry milk, too, before sit comfortably at the doubled couch alone.

 

Xiah, I can always eat lunch with him but not these days, since he’s kind of busy. He has some competition and has to always practicing. Not always, though. Sometimes he accompany me too, but not that often anymore.

 

 

Sometimes, when Hae’s not coming to eat lunch together with me, someone’s coming inste—

 

“Eunhyuk!!”

 

I blinked. “Tiffany? What are you doing here?”

 

There she is, the girl I was talking about earlier. She sounds pretty energetic but, not really, since actually she got some problems at her house.

 

“I’m bored, can I eat lunch with you?”

 

I chuckled. “You’re bored and walked until you reached Fukuura?”

 

 

She rolled her eyes and stepped inside, walking towards me and sat on the single couch. “Yeah, but there’s a shortcut at the back!”

 

I nodded. “Why don’t you eat lunch with your friends?”

 

“No, I’m still not too comfortable with my actual friends now,” she sounded sadly.

 

 

I just silence, staring at her with the corner of my eyes.

 

I know I’m not supposed to eat lunch with only her like this; it’s not that I want it either, but… Somehow she’s catching my attention which made me care about her—not that care, but care enough than those other girls.

 

 

My phone vibrates.

 

It must be Hae.

 

I replied him earlier that he has to eat too or else he won’t be healthy again, remembering maybe, just maybe, he still a bit tired from that heartbreaking long sleep.

 

 

Fr: Hae

Mssg: I’ll eat soon, Hyukkie. Let’s go home together later?

 

 

I smiled. Yay!

 

I don’t have any club activities today, so if he’s still busy and he has to do something important, I have to wait—BUT! I’ll love to wait as long as it takes, just to have his warmth in my sleep.

 

“Is that your boyfriend?”

 

I blinked and stared at Tiffany. Yeah, she does kind of know that I have boyfriend even when I haven’t told her. Someone must have told her right? I don’t mind that, though.

 

 

I nodded. “He’s not that busy after school,” I said, unconsciously giggling.

 

 

“I have my soon to be fiancé tonight,” She pouted and looked down. “I’ll meet him for the first time,”

 

Ah, right.

 

Her father wants her to marry a guy that’s his friend’s son.

 

I know how bad it feels—at least, I assume it’s better than Hae, right?

 

Hae loves me back then, but he has to marry Victoria which—okay, even if in the end he ditch everything and choose me instead, I know he must be so hurt.

 

 

“You have to try loving him,” I said. Every case not must be as same as Hae, right? She might be happy with this guy that supposes to marry her.

 

She didn’t reply for a second, and then nodded. “Maybe I’ll try,”

 

 

Ah, this girl, maybe she’s just feeling alone and lonely that she always come for me and chat with me. Maybe the reason is because I saved her earlier, she felt comfortable with me? I don’t really know. I better assume that way, since she’s a good girl.

 

“Are you gay?”

 

I gasped.

 

What should I answer?

 

 

“I’m… uh, not really. I’m just gay for Donghae, I suppose,” I answered. Yeah, I do have ex girlfriend which I don’t want to have it again, since I want Hae to be my last. But—yes, I might be gay only for him.

 

 

“You have exgirlfriends?”

 

I raised my brows, and nodded while munching my burger. “Why?”

 

“My brother once gay, and he went back to normal,” She said while smiling.

 

 

Huh?

 

What does that mean?

 

 

“But by being gay doesn’t mean that I’m not norm—“

 

“Yeah, of course, I’m sorry,” She said, palming her face slightly. “It’s just… I mean, straight, like he’s now has a wife,”

 

I crossed my brows. “Why?’’

 

“Why, you mean how did he go back to straight?” She asked as she sipped her orange juice. “His boyfriend died,”

 

 

I felt my heart stopped.

 

His boyfriend died?

 

 

How…

 

Aish, just thinking about someone I don’t even know made me heartbroken; what if it’s happening to someone I do know?

 

Or even me—STOP IT, I don’t want to think about those stuffs. I hate it with my whole life, since that’s my worst nightmares I’ve ever had so far.

 

 

“Eunhyuk?”

 

I gasped. “A-ah, yeah,” I said and drank my strawberry milk. “Wasn’t he desperate?”

 

She crossed her leg to put it on her other one. “Of course he was. He just managed to get over it and get a wife,”

 

So… He’s not moving on, I bet.

 

 

Aish, what am I thinking? Maybe he did want to get over it, but if it’s me… I definitely won’t forget and lose my love, and even if I do have a wife…

 

It’s not because I love her most.

 

 

Ah—forget it.

 

 

“I see,” I only muttered, feeling down just because I thought of that. It must be heart breaking so much, since by only thinking about that made me already frustrated.

 

“Anyway, that Donghae of yours is so popular, isn’t he?”

 

I felt my heart stopped when I heard that name. “Sorry?”

 

She looked at the ceiling. “Your boyfriend, he’s really popular right?”

 

 

I just chuckled.

 

“Yeah, maybe he is,”

 

I remembered when many of girls in Fukuura, at the first day I entered school with Hae, most of them asking me many things about him which made me a bit of jealous. But I don’t really mind, though, since Hae said he’ll love me only.

 

“Yeah, he’s Rox president, how can’t he be popular,” She chuckled suddenly to herself before muttered again. “But hey—you’re popular too!”

 

I only let out a little laugh. Hae’s definitely more popular than me, duh.

 

 

“You’re Fox’s president, and you’re handsome. Besides, you’re so good at dancing and you’re nice! Maybe more than him,” She said, clasped her hands.

 

Well.

 

Hae is actually more more more than that.

 

 

It’s not that I don’t want to be compared with him or something, but seriously, he’s my boyfriend and I’m so proud with having him loving me.

 

And besides, ever since I entered this school for the first time—when I’m at my 2^nd grade, the rest of Fox already told me that Hae is a nice guy, but I can’t believe it until I sees him myself—which that’s true. He barely cursed, he even can’t stand violence, not until he came to safe me from those bastards Gina has brings with her, and… He’s maybe too nice to even refuse anything.

 

 

Just thinking about that little part of him made me fall in love with him more.

 

 

After those chats with her, we ate until our lunch times over and she got back to Rakooga. We talked about many things, but my mind still wanders to my busy boyfriend.

 

How fun if he could eat lunch together.

 

I could hug him and… Do loving things.

 

To be honest, I made him lunch every single day even if he said he’s unable to eat lunch together with me. Because there’s a day when he could finish his duty earlier and eat with me instead, so he will have something to eat, rather than have to buy anything.

 

 

I hope this weekend we could have more times together.

 

 

 

---\\--

 

 

Fr: Hae

Mssg: I think I’ll go home late again, baby :(

 

 

I held my breath.

 

It’s freaking Friday and I haven’t seen him since yesterday. I know I shouldn’t get mad or sad, but honestly, I already missed him so freaking bad because back then, I already used to see him every single day but now, I don’t.

 

How could that didn’t affect me??

 

 

“Hyung, are you done? Let’s get started,” I suddenly heard Taemin, calling me from afar. Yeah, it’s club time and Taemin is one of the best dancer in the club. I nodded at him.

 

I took a deep breath before typing a reply.

 

 

To: Hae

Mssg: Ah, ok then Hae. I’ll be going home after the dance. I miss u, call me when u’re done ok?

 

 

I pressed send while biting my bottom lip.

 

“Hyuk oppa!! Come to dance!”

 

I heard some of the girls who are watching us practicing yelled towards me, made me rushed to run to my club mates and do some practice.

 

I don’t even know that they said I’ll be going to be the leader too for this club. I don’t even think that my movement is better or I can lead better than the others—but… Maybe they pick me because I’m the president of Fox.

 

Anyway, we’re practicing for dance battle that will be held at Rakooga’s birthday event, which will be coming for about months later.

 

Rakooga…

 

Damn! I hate how I always think about Hae when I don’t even know if he’s thinking about me, if he’s missing me like I do.

 

I do miss him so freaking bad.

 

 

Why he has to interview those new kids to be with Rox? Why don’t Kyuhyun and Minnie, or Ryeowookie or Yesung, instead?

 

Ugh.

 

I know I’m being too selfish, but they’re with each other which if I were them, I won’t mind being anywhere as long as I’m with Hae.

 

The problem is I’m not with him, so it will be so hard for me to even concentrate with what am I doing.

 

 

And more,

 

Hae just freaking recovered.

 

 

I know I always try to forget about that since Hae hasn’t complaining about anything. But he’s recovered on his own—I won’t forget how he’s able to walk by himself. That’s pretty frustrating.

 

And more or less, he just had his nightmare again.

 

 

It’s few days ago, I know. And he told me to not think about it anymore since it’s not important.

 

But hell, he’s dreaming about me.

 

And since maybe I’m a bit too traumatize with his nightmares, since it sometimes became his feeling and his feeling sometimes accurate, I’m afraid something bad will going on.

 

 

I just hope it doesn’t, though.

 

 

“Kyaaaaa!!!”

 

We’ve already practice for about half an hour now, and it’s time for us to take a break. Those girls never tired to squeals around and took some videos with their camera or phone cameras. It’s not that I mind, though. It’s just—

 

 

Eh?

 

Isn’t that Tiffany?

 

 

“Tif—“

 

“Hyuk oppa, aren’t you tired?” some juniors suddenly came around me, made me held my movement to go towards her.

 

She looks something.

 

 

Like a bit… sad?

 

I don’t know, it’s just something wrong, I bet. She didn’t cheer like the other girls do—and it’s not that I want that, those girls aren’t  here to cheer for only me though—and she just sit there alone, because I know she doesn’t have friends here.

 

 

Maybe I’ll just ask her later when I have time.

 

 

---\\--

 

 

“I think we’re finished for today,” I said after our dance instructor left. I drank a gulp of water and sat tiredly on the ground with my club mates.

 

“Taeminnieee~! Great job!” Some of Taemin’s fans—gosh, we’re just like an idol—squealing to us. I can see his face is smiling but I know he’s so tired after our practice, which I actually want them to just go home already.

 

I glance at the seats.

 

Tiffany’s still there, staring at me.

 

Huh?

 

I got up, and about to approach her when suddenly there’s some 1^st graders came to tell me that I’m so cool when I dance earlier, stuffs like that which made me more tired.

 

“Ah, sorry, I think I’ll just go now,” I said, rubbing my head that suddenly felt dizzy by the crowds.

 

“Aw, oppa!” Most of them just pouted, but then they let me go.

 

 

Great.

 

Now I could go to the library to change my clothes and maybe if I read some stuffs there, I will be able to wait for Hae and tell him that I’ll be waiting for him instead of going home alone.

 

As soon as I arrived to the library, I change my clothes to my earlier uniform and sat on the couch for a minute, before I grabbed my phone at my backpack.

 

I gasped—omo!

 

There’s a message from Hae for about 5 minutes ago.

 

 

Fr: Hae

Mssg: Are u home yet baby? I’m finished! ^^

 

 

I swear I almost squeal in happiness, since I didn’t know he’ll finish this early. But I don’t know where he is now, and maybe if I go there, I won’t meet him and yet he already going here.

 

Maybe I’ll just wait for him right here.

 

 

To: Hae

Mssg: OK Hae ^^ see u soon!

 

 

I can’t help but bit my lower lip as excitement took over me.

 

I can’t wait to see him and meet him.

 

 

Gosh, it’ll be very happy to hug him and feel his warmth and scent after days not meeting him. And yet, I really missed to… Kiss… him, so yah, enough.

 

I rolled myself on the usual couch alone while staring at the ceiling in boredom.

 

 

If Hae already said like that, he must be already finished and is on his way here, right?

 

What took him so long?

 

 

Am I late to reply him and he already got home?

 

Aww it can’t be!

 

 

I quickly took my bag and headed outside, which suddenly I gasped because I caught a figure.

 

“Tiffany!”

 

She’s standing and looking down to the field, before staring at me and waved. See? Something’s not right. It may be something happened to her. She looks confused.

 

“What happened?” I asked, decided to just wait for Hae right here. If he’s coming to Fukuura, I could see him from here, so he won’t just go and leave me, that if he hasn’t home yet.

 

Tiffany stared down to his feet. “I already met my soon to be husband for couple of times already,” she said under her breath.

 

I widened my eyes. “Oh, really? How’s he looks like?”

 

“He’s… Kind of good looking and nice,” She said. “But he’s so mature,”

 

 

“Mature?”

 

“Y-yeah, I mean…” She scratched her head before stared to my eyes. “Yesterday I went to date with him, and he’s… he’s about to kiss me,”

 

I titled my head.

 

Kiss her?

 

Something wrong with that?

 

 

“And…?”

 

She bit her lower lip. “Thank god something distracted us back then, so he didn’t kiss me for real because we have to go back. But… Aish,” She sighed heavily. “It’s my first kiss!”

 

Oh!

 

It’s her first kiss?

 

I suddenly remembered my first kiss with Hae, back then at library, by the corner of it. It’s really sweet and sneaky but—aish, stop wandering your minds around.

 

“You don’t want him to kiss you?” I asked.

 

“I-It’s not that…” She shook her head and just silence.

 

If she wants him to kiss her, then why is she thanking God that he didn’t get to kiss her? That’s weird, right?

 

 

“So what’s the matter?”

 

She folded her arms on her chest. “I don’t know how to,”

 

Don’t know how to… what?

 

 

OH!

 

 

“You don’t know how to kiss?” I asked, crossing my brows.

 

Oh geez. I don’t think I’ve ever think about that even when I kissed with Hae for the first time.

 

 

Should she really think about those kinds of things?

 

“I don’t think that—“

 

“Eunhyuk!” She whined. “He might lose his feel towards me if knowing that I couldn’t kiss properly,”

 

 

Aish.

 

Is that necessary?

 

 

“Okay,” I took a deep breath. “Just… imagine me as your soon to be boyfriend—fiance, husband, anything,”

 

She blinked.

 

“What’s so hard about this anyway?” I muttered slowly, while stepping closer towards her.

 

I grabbed her shoulder.

 

 

“He might lean closer to you like this…” I whispered, leaning closer to her face which made her blushed.

 

I glance at her lips.

 

It’s kind of red lips, and maybe if I love her, or something like that… I will love to kiss her plump lips.

 

 

But hell, no.

 

HELL NO.

 

 

My lips are only for my Hae ONLY.

 

“Hey, Eunhyuk?”

 

I blinked. Oh, yeah. I forgot.

 

“So, uhm, when he leaned closer like this,” I leaned even more, so that it looks like we’re almost kissing.

 

“Tilt your head like this,” I whispered, tilting my head to the right. “So that you’ll give some space, that your noses won’t meet,”

 

 

I leaned even closer, and closer, just to make her gasped before I stopped and smiled teasingly. “And then, kiss. You won’t want your first kiss to be with someone who taught you, right?” I whispered at her, before pulled back second later.

 

“That’s that, anyway. It’s easy actually. You don’t have to think about such things like that when you’re about to kiss, really,” I said, laughing before patting her head. “Okay? You’re a pretty girl, don’t be ashamed. Just tell him it’s your first kiss,”

 

 

She smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Eunhyuk ah,” she laughed. “It’s kind of awkward just now, or it isn’t?”

 

“Well, kind of,” I said and stared down to the gate, spotting a figure just walking in.

 

 

Ah!

 

Just in time.

 

“It’s Donghae, he finished?” I heard Tiffany asked which I quickly nodded; too happy to see the figure that doesn’t recognize me down there.

 

 

“Well, I suppose I should go home then now, thanks, Eunhyuk ah,” She said.

 

“Yeah, careful,” I replied. “I’ll go now too,”

 

 

Soon as I said that, I ran to downstairs and go through everything so then I approached him that’s just walking a few meters from the front gate.

 

“HAE!”

 

I laughed while hugging him.

 

This warmth.

 

Awh, this warmth I’ve been longing for days.

 

 

“I’m glad you’re finished early,” I said before I pulled apart.

 

“Yeah,”

 

He muttered and grabbed my hand.

 

Ugh.

 

Doesn’t he miss me?

 

 

We’re now already headed home which he, as usual, tangled his warm hand with mine. But seriously, why can he be so quiet?

 

“Haee,” I called.

 

“Mmm?”

 

Leaning closer to his ear, I whispered. “I miss you,”

 

He blinked for a second, before giving me a slight smile.

 

 

“I miss you too,”

 

 

Miss you too?

 

Uhm…

 

 

Along the way to our houses, we just keep silent because I know, maybe he’s just tired. He got so many assignments to finish and he has to do many things related to the Rakooga’s upcoming events.

 

 

“Aish,”

 

A heavy sigh.

 

 

I threw a glance towards him secretly, staring at him in concern because I know maybe for now I can’t do anything. But maybe by me cooking something for him—

 

 

“Arrived,”

 

I blinked.

 

“Why don’t we go in then? Don’t just standing like this, Hae,” I said smiling, while pulling his hand.

 

 

“No,”

 

 

No?

 

What no?

 

“I’m sleeping at my house today, Yuka calls for dinner,”

 

 

H-he’s not sleeping at my place?

 

I stared down, with hand still grabbing his.

 

 

Why…

 

Ugh.

 

 

I missed him so freaking bad, maybe he doesn’t know that part.

 

He knew exactly we haven’t seen each other for how many days, and maybe for him it’s not a really long time, but for me it is.

 

Don’t blame me—I’m already too obsessed with him.

 

 

I just nodded slowly, realizing he’s waiting for me to reply him.

 

“O…Okay, then,” I murmured. “C-call me… Tonight?”

 

 

He let go of my hand. “Yeah, maybe, I will,” he said, and then leaned closer to me.

 

YAY!

 

A kiss!

 

 

E-eh?

 

 

He gave me a little peck on my forehead.

 

 

I pouted.

 

Maybe he’s having a terrible bad mood?

 

Maybe the kid he’s just interviewed just ?

 

I don’t know.

 

Maybe I’ll just wait for him to repair his mood.

 

 

“Don’t sleep too late,” He said before he stepped further. “Tomorrow, don’t forget,”

 

Oh, yeah.

 

Tomorrow we’re going to eat dinner at Leeteuk hyung’s place, along with the other Rox, plus they said we’re going to have fun. So I’m looking forward to it.

 

“Uhm… You… You too,” I replied slowly, doubt if he’s even know that I reply him.

 

 

He’s never been this cold.

 

He’s not mad at me, right?

 

If he’s, he won’t even grab my hand, and kiss me even on my forehead.

 

 

 

Ugh, baby.

 

If only you know how badly I miss you.

 

 

Aish. Maybe I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

THIRD POV

 

 

A small step, becoming big one. Followed by the others. That guy in his sleeping clothing walked in the middle of the night, dared himself to walk a few blocks from his actual house.

 

That Lee Hyukjae, seems like he need his lover too much, more than his lover maybe does—at least that’s what he thought—and yet, those needs become too strong he even need to go to his boyfriend.

 

A clasp of cold wind touched harshly his skin, made him regret that he doesn’t even bother to  wear a jacket, because his expectation to meet his lover’s warmth soon.

 

 

Exactly as he arrived to that big, black gate, he spoke.

 

“May I, uh,” A blowing wind somehow shivers him once again. “Meet Lee Donghae?”

 

The other voice at the other line—spoke softly. “Hyuk oppa?”

 

 

He blinks several times, before gained back her consciousness in his numb mind. “Y-yeah, are you… Victoria?” he asks, remembering a familiar voice.

 

“Yes!” The girl voices replied cheerfully, made him forget how late it is now to even go to the other’s house. Gripping tightly to his cloth, he entered the house soon after the gate barked automatically opened.

 

He knew he might just make his boyfriend—Donghae, angry towards him even more. But, being a guy who already obsessed into something, he can’t do anything about it.

 

“Oppa! What are you doing here?” The girl figure came out suddenly, opening the front door widely for him as her face still showing him her bright smile.

 

He smiled back, but bitterly. “I… I want to…” looking down, he knew maybe he shouldn’t be too childish that makes burden to everyone.

 

“Ah, Hae oppa, right,” She nodded while her smile never fades from her lips. “Just go to his room, even I know he’s not in good mood, maybe you could make him better,”

 

Hyukjae flinched, knowing that even when he goes to sleep, his mood never gone better. Looking down in secret desperate, he nodded slightly.

 

“Thank… Thank you, Victoria,”

 

Victoria smiled again, pulling him excitedly inside before closing the front door quietly. “Just go now, I’m watching drama in my room. Auntie already asleep,”

 

With that, Hyukjae hurriedly walked towards the room he knows the most and stood in front of the door with blood rushing in him. He knew exactly his plan—if his lover’s angry, he’ll just beg to sleep at least on the chair at the room or maybe at the floor, just because he’s dying to sleep at the same room with his boyfriend—at least, that would makes him better, he suppose.

 

 

Raising slowly his right hand to the door, he dares to knock it softly for about two times before trailing his hand to the doorknob, turned it gently without making any single sound.

 

At the other hand, there lay Donghae on his super comfortable king sized bed, without even able to close his eyes, even a millisecond in his detailed counting.

 

Just right when he felt so desperate in his life, he realize someone has entered his room quietly, made him pissed off even more because exactly before, he already told almost everyone in the entire house to just stop disturbing him because his mood, definitely terrible.

 

Waiting for the culprit who entered his room and dared to closed it behind him, he froze in place while facing his back towards the door so he couldn’t see who it was.

 

“H-H…Hae…”

 

 

He gasped, instantly turned his whole body towards that sweet voice that he’s actually craving to hear for hours, just like an imagination in his furthest dream. But then, speechless owned him in sudden—his cute boyfriend who’s currently stuck in his mind suddenly appears right in front of him, wearing his—obviously his—over sized shirt that he believed he put it there in his lover’s wardrobe because he knows he will sleep there often.

 

“Y-you still awake?” In surprise, his boyfriend asked something he doesn’t even have to ask since to only keep closing his eyes is the hardest thing to do at present.

 

 

He hummed in response, doesn’t know what to say as they keep eyeing each other with undefined expression.

 

Hyukjae, stepped his bare foot closer to the bed, until he’s just right next to it before stammering another words from his thin lips.

“Can I…” he lowering down his voice, “Sleep with you?”

 

 

For about a second, the latter just stunned there in silence before he quickly shifted himself to give some space while opening the duvet for the guy who’s about to join him to his slumber, waiting for Hyukjae to climbed on to the comfy bed.

 

Doesn’t want to waste more time, Hyukjae soon already got onto the bed and his lover calmly covered both of their bodies behind the cover before lie down again, facing the ceiling.

 

 

Hyukjae blinked, stared at the person who has the delicious warmth he’s been longing.

 

“H-Hae?”

 

Donghae didn’t budge, but instead he gave a bit respond by letting out a short hum from his throat just to let his boyfriend knows that he listened to the latter.

 

 

Biting the bottom lip nervously, Hyukjae tugged the shirt of his boyfriend softly. “Can we… Uh, cuddle?”

 

Without even saying nothing, his boyfriend quickly obliged with a soft “Come here,” to his beloved, which gladly moving closer and soon, their position is Donghae hugged Hyukjae protectively while Hyukjae is secured by Donghae’s arm.

 

This feeling made Hyukjae crazy—he knew his boyfriend did everything he wanted, but he knew something’s wrong with him.

 

It’s not awkward—no, of course not, remembering how many nights they’ve spent sleeping besides each other warmly. It’s just the atmosphere never gone this cold. His Donghae seems so far away, even Hyukjae already inside his embrace.

 

 

Does Hae mad at me?

 

Hyukjae never stopped by thinking so. By the gesture, his Hae still cared so much about him he even pulled the duvet more to warm him up, and his hair slightly to make him feel comfortable than ever.

 

But, gosh, the difference is too obvious, yet too unclear for him to know what exactly the thing that made his heart uneasy.

 

 

As worry filled his mind, and sleepiness seems too far from him, he decided to call out his boyfriend once again by whispering.

 

“Hae…”

 

“Hm?” His lover quickly responded, indicating that he’s unable to sleep just the same as him.

 

 

Hyukjae bit his lower lip, harder than before. “K…uh, kiss… me,” he said, almost with no sound. Donghae froze with his words but then, still calmly—which made Hyukjae desperate like hell—pulled apart the hug slightly and slowly leaned closer,

 

 

Before planted a loving kiss on his forehead.

 

And soon after, get back to hugging him so his boyfriend will get some more warmth immediately.

 

 

 

The latter frowned.

 

Yes, he definitely got what he wants—a kiss.

 

But that’s not exactly what he wants.

 

 

He wants the usual kiss.

 

The usual kiss with love and possessiveness inside, not forget to mention the sweet words every time they about to sleep, until they both sleep in each other embrace happily.

 

 

Not this one.

 

Not this usual—or maybe kind of unusual—loving forehead kiss.

 

 

He’s not lying if he said he really wants it either, but hell, he really wants the other’s kiss too as bad as he wants his boyfriend to speak more, letting out his addicting beautiful voice for him to hear.

 

Minutes by minutes passed, yet he’s still froze in his place, thinking how he could sleep even he’s feeling too much comforts for now, yet this heavy feeling still exist in his chest. It doesn’t matter if Donghae kissed him on his forehead—because the thing that matters is how his lover responded to every request he made—he barely even made any request on the usual day since it’s already fulfilled before he even can ask.

 

 

He just missed Donghae too much.

 

And this condition, is definitely killing him slowly.

 

 

Without him even knowing, he already letting out a little sob that indicating he’s crying his heart out, and whining silently of how bad he missed the latter.

 

 

Stunned, Donghae—who must be recognizing every little whimper since that’s all the sound in the room—hugged his cold boyfriend tighter and whispered to his ear. “Still feeling cold?”

 

No, idiot!

 

Hyukjae unconsciously sobbed a little harder which now made Donghae pulled apart and cupped his face gently, slowly erasing those tears from the wet cheeks without saying a thing.

 

Out of sudden, he raised his face and cupped his boyfriend’s cheek back; leaning closer to catch the latter’s lips with his.

 

“Mm—wait…”

 

Failed, the kiss has failed.

 

Donghae separate the kiss soon after their lips met, eyes shows confusion but sad stare towards Hyukjae’s which made him even more confused.

 

Unconsciously, Donghae wiped his lover’s lips while murmuring “What are you doing… Uh,” between his breaths. Before his boyfriend could react anything, he already pulled him in his embrace once again, kissing the head of Hyukjae lovingly.

 

 

“Sleep,” He whispered.

 

 

Hyukjae on the other hand, cursed inside his mind. How could he sleep when he’s feeling even more uneasy than he already used to?

 

Thousands of questions wandering in his mind, begging to be answered but he knows he can’t. Everything that’s going on just made him afraid, and he almost regret for being there because anger slowly crept inside him.

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

HYUKJAE POV

 

 

I gritted my teeth.

 

What the is going on?

 

 

Hae just rejected my kiss.

 

My kiss.

 

 

I held my breath, unable to close my eyes even more and just let it be because Hae can’t even see me in this state.

 

Does he mad at me?

 

But…

 

This silent treatment made me go crazy.

 

 

Why the hell he didn’t tell me anything about it?

 

If he just got so bad mood because of something else, why I have to be the one who receive it? I mean, he didn’t even warned me or even tell me what’s going on, he just being so cold yet so caring that I could die.

 

I really hate this.

 

 

What’s with the forehead kiss? The wiping lips? What’s with the question?

 

I cried and he just told me to sleep?

 

 

, I couldn’t even bear my longing feeling towards him yet he slowly destroys it.

 

 

I swallowed hard.

 

“Hae,”

 

 

I waited for some seconds, until he hummed back. “Mmm,”

 

 

Is he already asleep?

 

After he rejected my kiss, ignoring my tears, he’s able to ing sleep?

 

He’s definitely mad.

 

 

“Are you… Are you mad?” I asked, whispering since I’m afraid he will get angrier than me. I still want to sleep cuddling with him like this, with his hand around me so I keep warm.

 

He sighed heavily, before another seconds of silence.

 

 

“No,”

 

Hmph.

 

Easy for you to say that.

 

“Yes, you’re mad,” I couldn’t help but answer him, even I know maybe I’ll just worsen his mood.

 

 

I just can’t hold it anymore, I need him to tell me what the problem is so maybe I could understand and pamper him instead.

 

“No!”

 

I gulped.

 

We didn’t see each other, so I can’t see his expression, is he closing his eyes, crossing his brows angrily at me or what, but… Maybe he doesn’t mad at all.

 

 

“B-but…” I sigh, didn’t even know why I pulled him apart from the hug, leaving him just rest his hand on my waist. “You… You’re acting different, which I assume you’re mad,”

 

He stared deep into my eyes, before closing his eyelids.

 

“What do you mean by different? I’m not,”

 

 

I bit my lower lip harshly. If he’s so pissed off at me, he may just pulled himself further than me and not touching anything. But… He still tries to embrace me, keeping his hand securely on my waist, which make me even more confused.

 

I never been this confused before.

 

“You… You don’t want to kiss me,” I said, looking anywhere but his eyes since my eyes suddenly got teary by the thought of him stop loving me.

 

 

He keeps closing his eyes, but… I know he’s crossing his brows.

 

 

Hae…

 

I just want you to understand that I missed you so badly.

 

 

Why—

 

“I don’t understand you,” He whispered, not opening his eyes for seconds before opening it and staring at me.

 

 

Understand… Me?

 

What’s so hard about understanding me that have been craving for you these freaking days?

 

What’s so hard about understanding me that only want to kiss you and feel your warmth in happiness?

 

What’s so hard about understanding that me?

 

You’re a great and genius guy,

 

 

What’s so hard about it?

 

 

He sighed deeply. “You want me to cuddle you; I hugged you so tightly so you won’t be feeling cold since I know you’re just been outside. You want me to kiss you? I kiss you, I put all my love in my every kiss,” He blurted. “And now? You’re saying that I’m mad?”

 

 

I know.

 

 

I know, Hae.

 

 

Who’s to blame? Me?

 

You’re just different and I’m just saying what I feel.

 

 

We just keep silent as his breath becomes heavier. I know he’s mad at me now, because I asked him that question. But hell, his touch, his hand still on my waist, securing me, that made me know he still love me even he’s angry.

 

I want to cry.

 

 

I want to shifted closer to him so that I could feel his warmth even more,

 

But even I struggle to do it,

 

 

I couldn’t.

 

I’m afraid.

 

I’m mad.

 

 

“I’m not freaking mad before, Hyukjae,”

 

 

I felt my heart stopped.

 

Hyukjae?

 

you.

 

 

I bit my bottom lip. “But y-you’re different—“

 

“Tell me, tell me which part,”

 

He cut desperately.

 

 

Which part?

 

Which one of it?

 

He’s kissing me, hugging me, erasing my tears, just like usual.

 

Which part is different?

 

 

He’s just different.

 

Every part of him.

 

 

You know what, Hae.

 

I missed you so much and you just acting like you’re bored to meet me and you’re treating me like you have to do it like you have to.

 

If not, I wouldn’t ask.

 

 

If you’re not different, you will just kiss me, hug me, and give me warmth just the way you like it, not waiting for me to ask you and you already did it.

 

That’s the different.

 

 

He suddenly inhaled sharply and gave me a bitter smile, before blurting words once again.

 

“I don’t understand you, Hyukjae. I can’t ing understa—“

 

 

“Then try to understand me, Lee Donghae!”

 

 

I breathed.

 

I know maybe I was too much, but he’s more than me.

 

He hurt me.

 

 

We keep staring each other, until he closed his eyes and suddenly, by exhaustion, I closed my eyes either. We didn’t even continue our quarrels; instead he even moved an inch closer just to wrap his hand tighter on my waist.

 

I know we’re both hurt.

 

 

I know he’s hurt.

 

I can see it in his eyes.

 

I just don’t know what to do.

 

 

So then, we drifted off to our dreamland, with hurt formed and covered us.

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

THIRD POV

 

Morning has came, awaken the lovebirds that’s currently sleeping next to each other, with one round his hand possessively to the other, just exactly the position last night when they both deep at their slumber.

 

Donghae stirred his eyes opened, a few seconds earlier before his lover.

 

Staring at each other, suddenly they remembered exactly what happened last night where they both sleeping in not really good atmosphere between the two.

 

They are waiting for each other to spoke, but nothing came for long minutes until Donghae shifted so that he would lie straight on bed, which practically made Hyukjae felt loss because the hand that’s been rounding his waist just left.

 

Half an hour passed, yet they’re already wide awake in their own thoughts, not even talking to each other, not even sharing a good morning kiss, like they always did to each other every time they woke up when they’re sleeping together.

 

Suddenly, a soft knock appears from the door.

 

 

“Donghae?”

 

The latter didn’t answer, but to stare at the door and wait until someone that might open the door.

 

And right, the door swiftly opened without a sound, revealing a young woman that suddenly gasped after seeing another figure on the bed.

 

“Oh! Hyukjae’s here?”

 

Hyukjae hurriedly got up and nodded. “M-morning,”

 

She nodded back slowly, her lips curving a smile because she just didn’t know what’s going on between the lovers.

 

“Okay, I’ll leave it to you then,” She muttered before closing tightly the door.

 

 

Hyukjae, didn’t know what to say, back to his lying position while holding his hurt feeling that still formed clearly inside his chest, made him bit his bottom lip roughly and carelessly.

 

He shifted slowly, facing his lover while his mind hoping too much that the latter would stare at him or even stare at him.

 

He couldn’t deny that he still mad at Donghae, he couldn’t. Donghae did hurt his heart by not letting him know what’s actually going on and made him confused as hell.

 

But he can’t do anything about it.

 

 

Another minute passed, suddenly, Donghae got up.

 

“Have to wash up,” He whispered more to himself, and before he stood from the bed, he gave a really, quick peck on the latter’s neck.

 

 

Hyukjae raised his brows.

 

 

I don’t care.

 

 

 

---\\--

 

 

“Oh! Ryeowookie, this pasta is really good!”

Kangin exclaimed happily, followed by the others agreement while they keep on chatting with each others at their dinner together.

 

There are Rox, including Kibum and Hyukjae, excluding Heechul and Hankyung, are now sitting together in a big dining table at Leeteuk big house, doing a gathering because of their free time this Saturday night.

 

“Can you pass me a tissue, Minnie ah?” Suddenly, Donghae asked to Sungmin who’s currently sat beside Hyukjae—no, Donghae’s not sitting beside his lover—who’s actually closer to what he’s been requesting.

 

Sungmin blinked, and somehow the others realize what’s going on between the two.

 

“Hyuk, you’re closer,” He shrugged the guy beside him who’s now eating calmly, made him stop for awhile and grab the tissue to gave him to his lover straight ahead and got him replied by a slight form of “Thanks,”

 

Leeteuk sighed heavily. “Are you okay, Hae?”

 

Donghae raised his brows and took a sip on his juice. “I’m fine, why?”

 

He got no reply from the latter, so does the others that currently listening to the conversation. They obviously know something’s going on since the lovers—Hyukjae and Donghae—are inseparable, and seeing them currently in this state made them wondering, even Yesung who’s usually careless to everything, shut his mouth and staring at the others in confusion.

 

 

Donghae didn’t mean to ignore his lover—no, it’s just he’s afraid he’ll get harsh if he interact with his boyfriend. So does Hyukjae.

 

They’re still having some hurt feelings to each other.

 

It’s not even their first time—but it is, regarding to their relation, it’s their first fight ever since they become lovers.

 

 

And who knows, it’s killing them so badly.

 

 

----\\--

 

 

“Let’s watch movies!!” Sungmin squealed as he ran towards the couch, where his boyfriend Kyuhyun sat on, waiting for Kangin to set a horror movie which they’re going to watch together.

 

Sungmin glance at the figure who’s sitting on the edge of the couch, eyes wandering to nowhere which he knows the latter just daydreaming.

 

“Hae, where’s Hyuk?”

 

Donghae glance lazily at his classmate, before answering. “At the bathroom,”

 

Suddenly, Kibum sneaked in while sitting on the floor, just near them. “Hyung, are you two got into fight?”

 

“I don’t know,” Donghae quickly answered without any interest. “I don’t want to talk about i—“

 

 

“Ah, Hyuk hyung,” Kyuhyun called out when the said person earlier came to the view, raising his brows before stared at his lover with his sad and mad stare, just like he has this whole day, when they both just watching TV at Donghae’s place, without any interaction—except how close they sat to each other because of the coldness.

 

“Hey,” Hyukjae answered, then casually, like they always do, sat beside his lover and the latter spontaneously wrapped his hand around Hyukjae’s waist.

 

Most of the others stared at them in confusion, since they’re too close to be said fighting, but too far to be said doing lovey dovey act.

 

 

At the middle of their watching the movies, Donghae muttered something behind his breath which made Hyukjae stood up and went to Leeteuk’s kitchen to take something before he went back, giving a glass of water to his love.

 

“Thanks, Hyukjae,”

 

 

Soon, the others caught those words and widened their eyes in surprise, since Donghae will never call his lover that way because he has his own nickname to his lover. They believe, they heard Hyukjae called him by his actual name once today, just this is too clear to ignore.

 

But then, when they secretly took a glance towards them, they already got back with Hyukjae inside Donghae’s embrace, like there’s nothing going on. Even sometimes, since they’re watching a horror movie, when the scary scene appears, Hyukjae gasped and it makes his boyfriend hug him even closer to soothe him, even without any word.

 

It’s just too weird.

 

Asking won’t help anything; it won’t make their relationship better, but Leeteuk, he loves his dongsaeng just as much as he’s his actual brother and he saw unhappiness formed in his—no, both of their eyes.

 

So that, right after they’ve finished watching the movie and most of them about to go home with their lovers, Leeteuk asked Donghae who’s waiting for Hyukjae in bathroom.

 

“Hae,”

 

“Yeah, hyung,” he said, leaning on his car since he’s now able to drive his own car again.

 

Leeteuk fold his arm on his chest. “What happened?” worry is obviously formed in his eyes, which made the younger bit his lower lip.

 

“I don’t know,”

 

Raising his brows, Leeteuk asked. “You don’t? You know, you both are really weird since you’re still touching each other yet you never talked,”

 

Donghae lowered his head. He knew exactly that his Hyukjae and him got their condition worsened because of nothing—actually, no, it’s because of Donghae.

 

Donghae saw it.

 

He’s just not sure.

 

Now how could he act normally when deep in his mind, he always think about that scene that made him ashamed to watch it yet afraid his lover feels ashamed too if they got caught, and choose to go back behind those gate, and wait until those scenes ended before walking back in to that school.

 

It’s just painful.

 

Even if his sight is not as good as a normal eyes, he swears it’s his lover, with another girl he already hates, they’re so close, they’re that close.

 

 

What kind of activity they did, when they have to be that close?

 

Thinking about that made his heart about to burst in jealousy.

 

But then, the first time he saw that scene, is the worst timing ever than the present—which if he doesn’t, he won’t be able to even gave anyone a slight smile—that, too, because of his lover’s existence last night.

 

“Hae, just be careful okay?” Suddenly something tapped his shoulder, made him blinked but nodded unconsciously, before realizing that his lover actually has got back and the earlier voice is his hyung’s voice.

 

After bidding good bye once again to Leeteuk and Kangin couple, they drift off from their garage as the last couple who got home.

 

As the car drift slowly towards their home, nothing even came out from both of their mouths which that make it a slight awkward situation for both of them.

 

Hyukjae felt so weird. The urge of saying something, even beg to his lover to speak any word, is formed so clearly yet he can’t do anything because his anger hold everything.

 

He doesn’t hate Donghae—in fact, he loves the latter too much but then he felt offended and hurt because how difference Donghae could be, and he didn’t even tell anything, or give a slight hint about what did Hyukjae do to make his lover mad.

 

 

He gripped on his shirt, holding those longing feeling and just getting ready to hop out from the car and just sleep alone tonight since that sounds better than sleep with his lover but he felt unhappy.

 

 

That’s when suddenly, the car lowered down its speed right before they got into their houses.

 

 

Donghae turned to Hyukjae. His stare—somehow, Hyukjae craved for that stare. That caring and loving stare instead of confuse and hurt stare. And this, actually managed to melt Hyukjae’s heart.

 

 

“Where do you want to sleep… Tonight?” Donghae asked softly and gently. From his meaningful stare, he knows Donghae’s trying to change himself back to the caring boyfriend he is.

 

Hyukjae heart’s fluttered. Suddenly, the desire to sleep with his lover grew once again, and he doesn’t want to let go.

 

 

“How… about you?”

 

 

Donghae rested his head back, and smiled while lowering the car’s speed even more. “Anywhere, you have rights to decided where I sleep,”

 

 

The latter blinked. He felt sudden happiness owned him, while that anger suddenly disappears. He knows, he still has the rights too to mad, since Donghae definitely mad at him without him even know why.

 

“At… My place?” He whispered lowly, and in doubt.

 

He still has the feeling they will sleep like just night before, and that’s torturing him like crazy. He doesn’t want that, but he really wants to be with his lover all this weekend.

 

 

With that, Donghae nodded and fasten the speed of the car, until they both got into the front of Hyukjae’s empty house.

 

Donghae carefully parked his car just in front of the house, before coming out from the car at the same time Hyukjae did, and jog quickly to meet his lover who’s already walked inside.

 

 

It’s just silence covering both of them, along with Hyukjae sat on the couch tiredly and Donghae went to the kitchen to grab a carton of his boyfriend’s favorite drink—strawberry milk—before walking to approach his lover and gave it to him.

 

Hyukjae raised his brows. “Thank you…”

 

 

Hae.

 

 

Somehow the real reason why he doesn’t talk to Donghae much today is because he’ll feel so badly hurt by how he desperately wants to call his boyfriend by his actual nickname, not the real first name he had but he doesn’t because he remembered how his boyfriend got angry at him and call him, that name, Hyukjae.

 

 

Just soon after he finished his milk, he got up and stared at his lover who’s just sitting in silence beside him.

 

“Just… Let’s sleep?”

 

Donghae nodded and got up. He followed his lover to his room they used to always sleep together when he’s there, and it turns out Hyukjae’s about change his clothes.

 

Glancing away, he bit his bottom lip and entered the bathroom to get changed.

 

 

It’s never been that awkward, though.

 

Just right after Hyukjae finished changing his clothes, he felt too tired and decided to just lie down instead, waiting for his lover came out from his bathroom but then,

 

 

He just drove to fall asleep.

 

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

HYUKJAE POV

 

 

I stirred softly as I feel the bed is shifting but I choose to ignore it instead since I’m too tired.

 

 

Uhh.

 

Hae…

 

 

I ‘m feeling so bad about this, but I hate him too for not saying what actually I did and letting me just be dumbfounded by his act.

 

Aish, later. I’m tire—

 

I held my breath.

 

I think I’m dreaming already…

 

I felt something on top of me, even it’s not befall on top of me, but hey, what this could b—

 

 

Eh?

 

I felt something pressed on my lips which I immediately know that I am conscious.

 

 

Don’t tell me it’s—

 

I opened my eyes slowly.

 

 

The view is, Hae, my handsome boyfriend, staring at my eyes while kissing my lips and knowing I woke up already, he seems to be more dominance in the kiss which actually, made me startled since it’s just too sudden.

 

“Mm—Hae,” I gasped by how he bit my lower lip, asking for an entrance for his tongue that starting to ravish mine.

 

 

This lips.

 

I don’t know…

 

Since yesterday, he just rejected my kiss and now he practically making out with me?

 

 

I closed my eyes, doesn’t want to remember how bad it is the feeling of rejection like what exactly I felt last night.

 

He didn’t even explain what’s going on between him and me, and why he rejected me like that.

 

 

I can be pissed off too, you know.

 

But—

 

 

“Mmm—ah,”

 

I...

 

Just by him kissing me possessively like this…

 

I…

 

 

I get too drowned and forgot everything that exists in this world.

 

 

 

He suddenly—

 

O-omo.

 

Is he serious?

 

We continue kissing each other, like in needs because we haven’t kissed for days, and then as I not expected, he went down, to my neck, it while… While ing my pajama top.

 

“O-oh, Hae,”

 

 

It tickles. Sweet. Addictive.

 

 

Cold.

 

Just 3 upper buttons and he already leaned into my shoulder, and keep kissing it, make my sight become so blurry from the feels.

 

It’s just not happening.

 

 

We—

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

He my shoulder, my neck countless times and what I can only do is just clutch onto his hair and it.

 

“U-uh…”

He went down, to my chest, kissing it gently, giving it so many pecks and keep going down to my abdominal part which I have to bit my bottom lip by the butterfly feeling that overloading in my stomach.

 

 

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, still kissing me. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

 

 

I frowned.

 

But before I could say anything, he already went up again and gave a long kiss on my lips.

 

 

I panted, soon after the kiss and opened my eyes, which immediately welcomed by his killing stare that shot directly to my eyes.

 

I caressed his cheek slowly with both of my hands.

 

 

My Hae.

 

I can see his eyes were full of love and regrets, which made me want to hug him so freaking bad I couldn’t even hold it.

 

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

 

This warmth,

 

This ecstasy-feel scent, which I suppose I’ll go crazy if I’m not near it even for a second—yeah, I already am few days ago.

 

 

Hae..

 

 

Hae…

 

 

 

My Hae…

 

 

“No, I AM sorry,” I closed my eyes, still hugging him and his hair lovingly. “I’m sorry,”

 

 

I don’t know why, even, I just feel that apology from him sounds so wrong, too wrong, and that made me completely aware that maybe, I am at fault.

 

I’m not supposed to mad at him when he’s so damn tired.

 

 

Ah, my poor Hae.

 

 

I separate the hug and staring to his eyes, his regretful eyes that made me guilty so suddenly because I, am the one who create those stare towards myself. In need, I quickly kissed him again and feel the sudden warmth.

 

This.

 

This is the kiss I’ve been craving for days.

 

This is the kiss that only Hae, only him can make me feel this way.

 

 

This is the kiss that overwhelmed me.

 

The kiss that rejected.

 

 

Aish.

 

 

I swear I could drown.

 

 

I am drowned.

 

 

“I…Mmh,” He gasped from the kiss for air, kissing deeply my lips again. “Love you…”

 

Gosh, too much.

 

I smiled between the kiss because I couldn’t contain anymore happiness, and held his neck with both of my hands before pulling apart the kiss just to smile at him, seeing his panting state.

 

“I miss you… Hae,”

 

 

He gave a loving—I swear, I am even addicted to this—forehead kiss and smiled.

 

“I miss you more, baby,”

 

 

More.

 

 

He always said that word after those sweet addicting sentences.

 

He made my heart full.

 

He made my life full.

 

 

“I love you so much, Hae,”

 

He glances at me, caressing slowly my cheek and smile before hugging me tightly. “I love you more, much much more,” he whispered exactly to my ear.

 

“Oh—and, baby,”

 

His breath clearly shivering me since he’s so close to my ear, while I can only get to clutch to his pajama and feeling his delicious warmth.

 

He pecks my neck before whispering something to my ear once again.

 

 

“You’re… Mine,”

 

 

I closed my eyes, smiled a little by his coming back possessiveness which, I kind of like it.

 

“Of c—“

 

“No, sshh..” His deep voice drowned me before I could even hear his following sentence.

 

 “You are mine, I’ll protect you. Forever I’ll protect you, my love, I swear to my life,”

 

 

He pulled the hug and kissed my forehead.

 

 

“Because you, are, mine,”

 

 

I nodded, already shivering from the touch and his deep words. I swear I couldn’t contain any more so I’ll just reply him.

 

 

I know baby.

 

 

 

“I’m yours,”

 

 

Forever yours.

 

 

 

 

 

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[a/n]: EYY~~ hello! XD I'm late~ sorry! haha~ 

at least I finished their quarells, right? XD but not so fast! lol XD kidding...

thankyou for the wait!
 

Iloveyou!!