Ji Eun sat on her bed mindlessly strumming her guitar. Jade had been gone even before anyone woke up and Han Bi was out buying groceries. The sun was low in the sky, turning it lovely shades of red, orange, and purple. She went over to her desk and opened a drawer. She pulled out a worn leather photo album that held her pictures from childhood til now. Flipping to the first page, she gazed at the chubby cheeked baby whose face was red from crying. The next couple pages showed the same chubby girl with food smeared on her face, learning to walk, sitting on a swing. Then came the adolescent pictures which made Ji Eun cringe. She had reached her highest weight at age 13, which was apparent in the photo of a pathetic looking girl bulging from her overalls and holding a dripping ice cream cone.

A part of her wanted to blame Han Bi for her weight problem. Ji Eun’s dad died right after she was born, and ever since then, Han Bi has always used food to comfort her. When a sobbing Ji Eun would come home from school asking why she couldn’t have a dad like the other kids, Han Bi would placate her precious daughter by taking her to get ice cream or to eat out. However, Ji Eun always pushed these accusatory thoughts away because she loved her mother so much. Besides, Han Bi only had good intentions. Middle school was a dark time for Ji Eun. While other girls in her class found ways to make their uniform shorter and more revealing, she wore loose hoodies and sweat pants under her skirt.

Ji Eun found her school picture in the album. She had wanted desperately to be normal on this day. Ji Eun’s mind flashed back to this particularly painful memory…

Ji Eun took hesitant steps into the entrance of her school. Today, she was determined to be like all the other girls. Her usual sweats were gone. Instead, she had rolled up her skirt so that the hem reached a few inches above her knees. Her usually bare face was made up with dark eyeliner and mascara. Time seemed to stop as the students in the hallway stopped and stared at her passing by. A popular boy in her class came up to her and smiled. Ji Eun smiled back, happy that someone was finally acknowledging her.

“I didn’t know whales could survive out of the water.” His words stunned her and tears stung her eyes as she heard everyone laugh at the joke. At her.

Insults continued to be slung at her.

“Oh my god….look at her thighs jiggle.”

“She looks like a fat .”

“? No one would pay to such a fatass.”

“Hahahaa, she’s probably so hungry that she’d bite your off before you could even come on her ugly face.”

Rendered speechless, Jade looked at a nearby teacher with pleading eyes, but he did nothing to stop the verbal abuse. Instead, the teacher came over to scold Ji Eun for her improper uniform and escorted her away. He did not even reprimand the cruel students who continued to mock her even as she left. After enduring the teachers berating, Ji Eun ducked into the girls’ restroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and scoffed in disgust at the fat, ugly, tear stained face peering back at her.

“I hate you!” She screamed at the reflection. “You useless piece of !”

With that outburst, she wiped the tears roughly from her face and headed out the door. One of the bathroom stalls slowly opened to reveal a figure, who looked pensively after Ji Eun.

After that horrible day, Ji Eun begged her mom to switch schools, insisting that the new school had much better academics. Self loathing fueled her goal to lose weight and by the time she met Jade, she had dropped 50 lbs. After that, she lost an additional 20 lbs. Although she was thin on the outside, she still felt like the fat girl inside. She kept a low profile at her new school and never opened up to anyone. The only exception was Jade. In fact, she admired Jade who was beautiful not in a glamorous way, but the kind of beauty that exudes kindness and warmth. Ji Eun had always adored Jade’s dimples and her big, round eyes.

There was one other person Ji Eun wished beyond measure to let inside her protective walls: Jonghyun. The doorbell suddenly rang. It was probably her mom who always forgot to bring a house key. Ji Eun briskly walked to the living room and drew aside the curtains to peek outside. There was no one on the doorstep.

“How strange…” Ji Eun muttered to herself. She drew open the door slowly to see a small box wrapped in brown paper and tied up with twine. She unwrapped the paper to reveal a velvet jewelry box. She opened the box and tucked inside was a beautiful marbled guitar pick made out of glass. The characters for her name were carved into the center on one side. Ji Eun opened up the note placed in the lid of the box, which read,

“When the world is chaotic
And you feel at your lowest
Just look up, and I will always be there for you”

Ji Eun felt her cheeks flush as a huge grin spread across her face. She looked around in bewilderment. The sound of sweet guitar filled the air and her gaze finally fell upon its source. She looked up to see Jonghyun sitting on the middle branch of the tree in her yard. He began singing Happy Birthday and Ji Eun laughed at the balloons tied to the neck of his guitar. When he finished, she pouted and yelled up at him, “It’s not my birthday! My birthday isn’t for another couple weeks!”

Jonghyun shot her a breathtaking smile and said, “I know, but I’m leaving town tomorrow and I’ll be gone for two months. I wanted to celebrate early with you. Anyways…so uh…can you help me down? I seem to be stuck. Did I mention that I’m afraid of heights?”

Ji Eun giggled again and caught Jonghyun’s guitar he slipped down to her. She moved aside for him to jump down and grasped an arm to steady him.

“How on earth did you get up there in the first place?” questioned Ji Eun.

“Secret! Now come on, there’s more to your birthday surprise,” he said.

They stowed his guitar in the living room and Jonghyun grabbed Ji Eun’s hand and led her to the backyard.  Ji Eun gasped and put a hand over at the sight of lanterns strung up on the trees and a cake with candles set up on a table in the middle of the grass. The sun was starting to set, making the lanterns appear to glow even brighter and more beautifully. Jonghyun pulled out a chair for her to sit down and took the seat opposite her.

“Sorry, it’s gonna be just the two of us tonight. Jade said she was busy,” Jonghyun explained. “Close your eyes and make a wish!”

Ji Eun squeezed her eyes shut and clasped her hands together in thought. She reopened her eyes and puffed out her cheeks to blow out every single candle to ensure her wish came true.

I wish to be happy.

Jonghyun stared intently at her and asked, “What’d you wish for?”

“Secret!” Ji Eun said, sticking out her tongue.

“Alright alright fine. Now let’s eat some cake!” Jonghyun cut a huge slice and placed it on a plate in front of Ji Eun, who eyed it nervously.

“Um…I can’t eat this cake. I…uh…I don’t like cake. You eat it.” Ji Eun stammered. She was still shaken from dredging up old memories of her overweight self.

Jonghyun smiled with one side of his mouth as a devilish look spread across his face. He grabbed a handful of cake and advanced toward Ji Eun. She got out of her seat and screamed in an attempt to escape but he was too quick. Jonghyun captured her in a hold from behind, one arm around her waist while the other hand was fervently trying to shove cake on her face. The more she struggled, the closer he held her. She looked back over her shoulder and paused when she realized that their faces were now inches apart. He took advantage of her momentary lapse to smear the cake all over her face. He laughed hysterically and the cream from his fingers. Ji Eun placed a defiant hand on her hip and shook her head. Oh…it is ON! She grabbed some cake, chased him around the yard, and succeeded in jumping on his back to smush the cake on the side of his head.

Han Bi watched from the kitchen window with joy. Finally, Ji Eun seemed to be happier. She hadn’t really gone grocery shopping that day, but was Jonghyun’s accomplice in carrying out the surprise. She couldn’t help but like the boy.

“He would make such a good son in law,” she said, chuckling to herself.