CHAPTER ONE

word count: 3923

They say that what the person was wearing when he died will be his clothes in the afterlife.

I saw a lot of souls wearing hanboks, wedding outfits (imagine being a widow/widower that fast), army wear (they probably died in battle), office wear, scuba diving outfits (perhaps they drowned?), and some were even in their pajamas. I assumed they died in their sleep or committed suicide. Jeez, why would they take their own life? Don't they know it's such a waste to kill themselves off, while here I am, moping because I wanted to live again. It's really frustrating.

In my case, I was wearing my school uniform when I died.

So here's the thing: I was on my way to school, and I was very excited because it was a special day. I woke up early; I had to surprise my girlfriend because it's our 100th day together. I think she already knows this since girls are so good at counting stuff like these, but I'm still planning to surprise her nonetheless. She'll definitely be surprised to know that I am also counting the days we've been together. Kris offered me to carpool with him, but I declined because I needed to get some flowers for my girl. After buying a fresh bouqet of white roses, I walked swiftly past the people, trying to get to the bus as early as possible so that I could arrive in school before she does. I am so excited to see her reaction once I enter her classroom and give her the flowers. I asked permission from her teacher and I was lucky enough she allowed me to do this simple surprise.

Just then, I saw a puppy limping on the other side of the road. One of the puppy's legs was badly injured; it was struggling and making soft cries as it crossed the road. How could someone leave this puppy out here on the streets? Being an animal lover, I felt pity for the cute little creature. I ran to help the dog but just then, a speeding car appeared and boom, the flowers flew up in the air.

Everything happened fast. The only thing I remember was seeing light. A bright flicker of light that almost blinded me the moment I opened my eyes. I stood up and I saw people rushing towards me. A student was holding the puppy, making me sigh in relief because it's safe. Some were even screaming and frantically calling 119.

Then I saw my body lying on the road---bloody and lifeless. I gasped and almost gagged, knowing that I am already dead. That moment, I felt light. Light as a feather.

Everything ended that day.

I wish I could change into a nice pair of shirt or jeans, but I guess I'm stuck with this uniform forever.

Forever, you say? I kept on wondering how long forever is. How many years? 100000000? 1000000000000000? Oh well. I have forever to count. God, that would be booorrriiing. They don't have much facilities here, other than a common hall where everyone gathers, and a very huge library, so I wonder how people got by and how they passed time away. It must have been awful for some who have been waiting for judgment for a hundred years. Do they even have calendars so that the souls could keep track of time?

Some of them played games, shared idle chatter with one another, read books, walked around the vast garden, or just stared into blank space. Since we're already hollow, we don't eat nor drink anymore, so there's no cafeteria nor a water dispenser here. We also had our own beds, called capsules, which are all stacked/stored in very big rooms. There are moving stairs like the ones in Hogwarts to help us move around the area. In a way, we are like those from the futuristic movies, minus the robots. Moreover, souls here are sorted according to their nationality. Cool, isn't it? There's also this room that I've always wanted to go into; they said it's the most popular room in the building because according to what I've heard, that's were final judgment is passed, only to get blocked by guards because they said I'm not yet eligible to enter.

Most of the souls here have been wandering for a long time, some of them tracing back to the Korean War or even the Joseon era. I was expecting to see King Sejong, but he already crossed the afterlife a long time ago. The souls here couldn't cross the afterlife because they couldn't accept their death, or they still have some unfinished business on earth, or just waiting for judgment.
 
To cut it short, I am in purgatory.

During my first few days in this place called "The After Turf" (the Angel Michael changed the name of this place to something cooler----of course, with Big Bro's permission), I was in deep denial, and I kept screaming at Michael's face. Despite of all the incessant screaming and complaining that I did, he just kept smiling at me like a creep, explaining why I'm here and answering all of my questions with utmost patience. I am usually a calm person, but discovering that you are already a soul when you open your eyes is nothing to be calm about.

You see, that's very normal to someone who died at an unexpected time. Heck, I'm only 21 and I still have lots of dreams that are yet to be fulfilled! I have yet to go to college and compete at the soccer finals! I have a girlfriend and we just got together a few months ago!

I sat down on a corner and embraced my knees, thinking how my life suddenly went down the drain just like that because of a freak accident. Michael just let me be that way because according to him, it's normal. Normal my foot! I never wronged someone, for as far as I could remember, so why take me away from the ones I love? I spent days singling myself out from the crowd, and lying on my bed.

Then reality soon sank in. I realized that what's done is done, and the done cannot be undone. If it's your time, it's already your time. So sulking will not do anything good. Instead, I tried to mingle with the others here. Most of them are approachable and accommodating.

I lied on the grass and looked at the sky. Although I miss my own home, this place isn't so bad, either. There are huge white buildings across a very picturesque landscape. There is a mountain at the background, making it look like we're in the middle of a forest or something. The air is fresh and it's always spring here. This place is actually a breather from the noisy city of Seoul. There was no night as well, so it's always bright. There were times I asked myself as to how heaven or hell looked like. Is heaven made of fluffy clouds? Is hell a pit of fire? They said that hell being a fiery pit is just a metaphor.

I actually never imagined myself to be in this kind of place this early, which is why I had a lot of questions. I never thought these kind of stuff were real until someone came to pick me up from the place where I died. Such questions will probably take a long time before they get answered.

"Boo," a head with wavy hair suddenly hovered above mine, blocking my view and making me jolt in surprise.

"For the love of God, Jongdae, will you stop appearing out of nowhere?" I held unto my chest. I imagined my heart palpipating, but unfortunately, my heart isn't beating anymore.

"I've been looking around for you, dude. Michael said you've been spacing out again."

Kim Jongdae, or Chen, as he liked to be called (he's not even a celebrity so I wondered why he had a stage name), arrived here two years earlier than me. He was a year younger, and he died because he was shot by gangsters while saving his friend. Quite a heroic and altruistic way to die. Other than that, I don't know much about him. He was the type of guy who loved talking about what he did with other people, but didn't talk much about himself. He's actually kind and fun to be with, but he becomes a troll at times. He reminded me of Baekhyun, who is also a big chatterbox like him.

"You were too busy with the girls so I left you there," I scoffed as I rolled my eyes at him. I am seriously thinking that this guy is a playboy when he was still alive. I often saw him sitting at one of the benches, surrounded by girls who listened to his stories when he was still alive. I overheard that he used to sing for a church choir when he was in high school.

"Awww my baby Minseokkie is getting jealous. Come here, I'll massage those baozi cheeks for you," Jongdae cooed as reached for my face. How he knew that my nickname is 'baozi' without me telling him made me wonder. I only found out recently that he sneaked into my profile an hour after I died. If only it was not forbidden to spank someone, I would have done it.

"Quit it, Jongdae. And call me hyung. I'm older than you," I swat his hand away. He could be really annoying, you know. I just had no choice but to hang out with him because he was the only guy around my age here.

"Nah-ah, I stayed here longer than you so you call me sunbae," he then stuck his tongue out on me. This guy is just plain unbelievable.

Just then, my peripheral vision caught sight of someone familiar. That someone turned out to be Mr. Kim, one of my neighbors. He was like an uncle to me, and he often gave me free bread from his bakery when I was younger. He was smiling at me, so I smiled at back at him. Finally, he's reunited with his beloved wife after battling with cancer from a long time.

"Minseok-ah!", he waved. I waved back and ran into him, leaving Jongdae behind. "Ahjussi!!"

"So, we're finally here, eh? I just arrived two weeks ago. How long have you been here?"

I mentally counted the days I've been staying here. "Yep, I've been here for.... four months." I suddenly took the opportunity to ask him about my family. "Ahjussi, how's everyone?"

His happy face suddenly turned somber, "They're still on the process of mourning, son. They miss you so much. I often see your mom talking to the other neighbors with something in her hand.. it must be your diary. She's holding it tightly. Your friends are more closer now than they were before. Kris and Tao patched things up at your funeral. Chanyeol told me that they often visited your grave."

I felt a tinge of pain inside me. Souls are hollow beings, but how come it felt like my heart was being pierced? I miss them so much. I wish I could actually hug them and tell them I'm still here, and that I will continue watching over them.

"What about So Young?" Has she found another guy to love now that I'm gone? Did she replace me for someone new? I've been looking after her but, it's sad that I won't be able to protect her anymore. That fact alone hurts so much.

"Minseok", he began. "I know it's hard for the both for you, but you should know that she needs to move on. I feel sad about leaving my other loved ones behind, but this is my fate. Life goes on, you know. It's just a matter of acceptance. We'll all meet here someday." Just like the old days, he was still that kind ahjussi who always helped me with my problems when I don't feel like talking about it with my family because I was too shy.

"And then she'll eventually forget me," I said as I hung my head low. I will just be a figment of her memory, who will be forgotten as years go by. I guess it's just like that when you die. Everyone will cry for you at first, and it will lead to forgetting later on.

"No they won't. Though you're not physically present, you and your memories will forever be etched in their hearts. Believe me, Minseok," Mr. Kim patted my shoulder, probably a sign of assurance that I will not be a passing memory to the ones I left behind.

"Kim ahjussi? Let me see." Jongdae quipped as he pursed his lips and tapped his chin, trying to remember something. "Ah, he just got here two weeks ago." Seriously, this guy should stop appearing and disappearing out of nowhere like a ghost (well technically, he's one) because I will never get used to teleportation.

"How did you know? Don't tell me you have a part-time job here?"

He then draped his arm on me, "You see, I need some brownie points from Michael, I want to talk to my mom if it's possible." Turns out, prior to my arrival, Jongdae has been helping Michael in arranging the profiles of the new souls according to their date and time of death. That was probably how he got a sneak of my profile.

My eyes suddenly lit up in curiosity, "Uhm, is that thing really possible? Being able to communicate with your loved ones even if you're dead?" I actually never believed in those kinds of stuff when I was still alive.

"Of course it is! Do you think the story in Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze's "Ghost" is not real? Or do you think that communicating to your loved ones in their dreams is possible? All those stories are true, my friend. I couldn't believe that it was possible until I was given the chance to talk to my best friend whom I saved when I died. You can directly talk to them or use a medium! Well, to be honest, it all depends on him, and on the urgency of the matter," Jongdae explained with much gusto.

I sighed, "I guess I need to be nicer to him, then. We never really had a good start because I always scowled at the sight of him."

"Kim Minseok, please take a seat." Michael welcomed me into his office. I looked around and it was almost bare. There was just a plain-looking office table, a filing cabinet on the corner, and three chairs--one for him and two in front of his table for visitors. There were also several clocks hanging on the wall, and each clock were labeled the following: Seoul, London, Cairo, Beijing, New York, Washington, California, New Jersey, Sydney, and Rio de Janeiro. There's also a computer on top of his table, and I assumed it contained the profiles of the souls here. What caught my attention were the folders labeled as "INCOMING" and "OUTGOING". Incoming souls? What about the outgoing souls? Where are they going? His office was clean and looked as bright as the sun because of its white walls.

"How's your stay so far?" he began, looking relaxed and calm. I took a closer look at his appearance. He was tall, like Kris or Chanyeol, and he had brown hair. From his facial features, I can say that he's not a Korean, but Jongdae said that he knows how to speak all of the languages because he's in charge of communicating with all the souls here. This dude sure is smart. He looked fairly innocent, and gentle, in accordance with the description of angels that I knew as I grew up, minus the feathered wings and halo. Instead of robes and sandals, he wore a simple white suit and white leather shoes.

According to Jongdae, angels' wings were hidden when they're not in battle with Satan. A long time ago, Michael once led God's army against Satan's forces, wherein he defeated Satan during the war. He was thus known as the Archangel Michael. Archangels are more special than ordinary angels, because the former carried out extraordinary orders from God. There are four other archangels, namely Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, and Lucifer, all of whom I haven't seen yet. Maybe they're assigned to another, uhm, department? As for Lucifer, well, we all know that he's now the fallen angel Satan.

Wow, Jongdae does know how to make his time here a productive one.

So this is what angels do when they don't have warrior duties? They do office work like normal employees? Sort out prayers like emails? "We really didn't get to talk to each other that often because you always ended up screaming at me," Michael said.

I strayed away from my thoughts and began fiddling my fingers apologetically, "I'm doing f- fine. Jong- Jongdae has helped me a lot in adjusting to the life here. And I- I'm sorry for my behavior. It was very improper of me." Why did I fumble over my words? Was it because I'm infront of the mighty Archangel Michael? I was the type of person who got intimidated easily, so I guess I couldn't help it.

Michael's facial expression remained unchanged. He was neither smiling nor frowning. He had this neutral, poker face-like expression which reminded me of Sehun. "That's normal. I've seen worse, Minseok, believe me. You see, death is something inevitable, yet so many people  still get surprised when it was cast upon them. This is the mystery of life; people have always wondered how it was like being in the afterlife, yet, they're scared to die and face their fate."

"Of course they're scared of leaving their loved ones behind," I reasoned out. I suddenly wondered where Michael came from, if he had any family or something. Do angels have feelings, too? Do they ever feel happy, sad, or angry?

"But that's just the way it is, Minseok. It's the circle of life. People die to give way for new souls to live."

"I know something has been bothering you since the day you came here. Like what I said, it's normal for newbies like you to be confused as to what state you're in right now." Michael rotated his chair and faced me again. He must have noticed my loathsome look during my first few days here. "To start off with, you are not in heaven, nor in hell. You are in an intermediary state after your physical death. Think of this as a waiting place. Those who are destined for heaven undergo purification here, and as for hell, well, let's just say those who will go there have a separate place in another building. However, it is by one's own will to enter a state of hell, thereby separating themselves from God," he explained.

It was still unclear for me, actually. "So, does that mean, everyone who's here will go to heaven?"

"Not necessarily. It's like being in a reality show. You prove yourself worthy to go to heaven and experience eternal life. You will be judged according how you acted when you were still alive. As you can see, a lot of souls here are still stranded because they have inhibitions about letting go of everything they left on Earth."

"But you know what's interesting? The fact that humans, get so clingy over a lot of things. They attach themselves too much to other people or material things. And because of too much attachment they tend to get selfish and greedy. They're never contented with what they have, and it sometimes reaches the point wherein they step on other people to get what they want because of jealousy. Greed for money and power has always been the cause of many wars for centuries. As a result of such greed, some people sin and do acts against the Higher Law."

I just listened to his explanation. This might as well end up being a lecture about morality and philosophy.

"Anyway, youthful, adventurous blood ran through your veins, Minseok. You wanted to do a lot of things if not for your untimely death, and nothing is wrong with that," he continued on.

Well, that's true. I wanted to do more in life.

He then leaned on the table, and rested his chin on top of his fingers and looked at me with much curiosity. "Your girlfriend. You miss her so much, don't you?"

I heaved a heavy sigh as I buried my face on my hands. "I do. I miss her so much," I replied with all honesty. I miss everything about So Young---her puffy eyes which always make her look like she's going to cry anytime, her wavy hair which always hit my face whenever we go strolling on a windy day, her small and soft hands which I loved holding, her laughter which is music to my ears, and even her strange habits like trying to finish off a whole yellow radish even though it's salty and how she fumes up like a dragon when her OCD behavior sets in. I miss bringing her pet dog to the vet when she's busy. I miss seeing her dance although her moves were uncoordinated. I miss how she ganged up on Tao being a sissy when she herself is a self-confessed crybaby, and how she tried acting cute in front of her brother when she wants something. I miss our trips to our favorite coffee shop after our classes, spending hours studying or just talking about trivial things.

"I know how much you miss her, Minseok. I can see it through your eyes. I know you've been watching her from afar. I saw you following her on her way home one time. You're yearning for So Young, and that's understandable. So here's the deal. You will be given a chance to go back to Earth. You will be given a chance to be seen and felt again. But take note that not all will have that privilege to see you. In your case, your girlfriend will be given that privilege because she's the one who's hurting the most right now. News reached me that she's in a remorseful state now----her grades dropped because she skipped a lot of classes. She lost weight and has become aloof and oblivious to everyone. Your friends tried to talk to her, but she refused. She could not move past the grieving stage. With this deal that I'm telling you, she'll be able to see you and talk to you as if you were still alive."

"You can save her, Minseok. This is a privilege given to someone like you who experienced an untimely death."

I suddenly looked at Michael. My heart almost dropped when I heard his proposal. Am I hearing things? I'm sure I heard Michael right. It'll be my only chance to be with So Young again. We'll be able to find our lost time together and do the things we used to do before. Most of all, I can save her from her misery. Am I ready for this?

"Under one condition," Michael inhaled deeply, and I prepared myself for the worst. "You need to let your girlfriend's feelings for you cease before your time on Earth expires."

[author's note]

Here's the first chapter~ It's quite long, I think. XD I enjoyed writing this because it involved a lot of imagination about death, angels, and heaven. I hope you enjoyed this one! Hopefully, I get to post the second one soon. Tell me what you think about this chapter in the comments. Or you can upvote this if you liked it. Hihihi

Belated happy birthday our dear baozi! :D Stay cute forever bb <3

xoxo