Kyungsoo longed to sit next to Kai, to comfort him maybe, but the prince needed to be by himself to sort his thoughts. It had been a very long night, they had run for most part of the way, avoiding obvious trails and instead opted for the rocky, less-travelled paths. He had been hit several times in the face with hanging vines and whipping branches as he ran, and at one point firmly believed that his lungs were truly about to burst. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when Yifan announced that they were to rest, and it was almost a luxury to be off his feet and sit on the dew-strewn grass, but they were all hungry and cold.

It was hard being a fugitive in your own country, Kyungsoo thought.

This morning had been tense and they all watched helplessly as Yifan paced back and forth, the soles of his boots making a short trail on the leaves on the forest floor.

“Should not have let him go, those supplies were not worth it,” He mumbled, face creased in worry.

Zitao have been insistent on going back their tracks, hoping against hope that their comrades were alive and well. Jongdae had screamed at them to run, as fast as they can, while he and the rest wielded their swords against men in the same garb as they, emblazoned with the emperor’s crest.

Kyungsoo shuddered at the thought, and he stole another furtive glance at the prince.

The royal adviser watched the northerner with a bemused expression on his face. “Yifan, sit down. He will be here before you know it,” He cocked his ear to the side, “besides, Zitao is more than capable of handling ten men on his own, if it comes to that.”

Yifan ignored him. He looked like he was about to tear out clumps of his hair when Minseok spoke again.

“He will be here soon, I swear it is nothing to worry about-“

“Will you be quiet? I am trying to think of the trails I can take to try and find him!”

The atmosphere’s temperature dropped around them and Minseok’s face was set in deathly calm while he stared at the tall man. “There is no need to be raising your voice. I only think that this kind of behavior is not helping the young prince,” he threw a subtle look at the boy not too far from where they were, sitting under the tree. “He is tired, confused and afraid. Seeing you like this will raise doubts in his mind as to why his father, the emperor left him to our charge.”

All three pairs of eyes stared unabashedly at the prince, who was pulling at plants close by his feet. Yifan sighed and walked towards the fallen log where Minseok and Kyungsoo were seated.

“Forgive me, for speaking to you like that. Zitao is the closest that I have for a family, I-I would not be able to bear it if something were to happen to him.”

“I understand more than you know. Here he comes, and he bears ill news. Be prepared.” Minseok said. He turned around and left without another word, but not before picking up a bright yellow melon that rolled in front of him.

True enough, Zitao walked in to the little clearing they have found just a few hours ago, at dawn. He moved with the grace of a cat, like always, but there was something about the way his shoulders hung low and how red-rimmed his eyes were that struck fear in Kyungsoo’s heart.

Yifan gathered the younger boy in a fierce hug and whispered in his ear, “Never again, Tao, never again! I am sorry, I should not have let you out of my sight! Are you hurt?” Kyungsoo had to look away, the way Yifan said the newcomer’s name was so very intimate, he wondered if they even still remembered that he was there.

“They are all gone, Yifan,” The sorrow in Zitao’s voice seemed to have carried across the space between them and the prince, who was looking at them with anxious eyes.

Yifan’s hold on him tightened and in a rough voice asked, “How did you know?”

Zitao’s lips trembled and he looked at the prince whose face was paler than the one of the two moons that let them borrow light the night before. “I s-saw their bodies-“

He swayed on the spot and Yifan exclaimed as Zitao clung on to him for support. They both clumsily sat on the ground, and Zitao untangled numerous packs from his body while tears ran down his face.

“I-I am so sorry. I must not cry so freely, you must think me a coward,” Zitao said, his voice trembling.

“No, no,” Yifan murmured, “you do not have to tell me right now,”

“Yifan, the emperor,”

“What about my father?”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips and gripped his own pack in fear. He has only ever heard the prince use that tone twice the whole time he had been in service to the kingdom. The first time was when Kai himself had hand-picked him from the daehag. He still had about two spring seasons left for his education, but with a voice that could have frozen the Unnamed Waters many times over, Kai had told his mentor that Kyungsoo was indeed, leaving with him.

The other time had been when Kai had caught the Crown Prince Yunho torturing one of his pet dogs. When the young prince had asked his older brother to release Jjangu, the older man had looked like he was struck in the face.

Kai’s physical appearance gave off the impression of a young, carefree and privileged boy. No one spoke of him as the emperor’s bastard, he had unknowingly charmed his way to the hearts of every single person he had encountered with his easy smiles and playful smirks. He was polite and generous, kind and hardworking, shy at times but his voice emanated authority, and no one refused to answer when he asked them a question. Tao visibly swallowed. He looked at Yifan who gave him a small nod in return.

Kai’s eyes narrowed at them. “You needed an approval from him?” His voice seethed in anger.

“Your highness, it most certainly  is not that…it is just that…the news I am about to deliver is quite sensitive in nature and I-“

“What of my father!” Kai screamed, and Kyungsoo had jumped out of his seat to restrain him.

“T-the emperor has been murdered, young prince...”

Minseok sat on the huge rock, the smooth silk fabric of his clothing getting snagged by the rough surface. He rolled the melon in his hands and placed it near his nostrils, his mouth watered at the smell of the first fruit of the summer that was yet to come.

“Luhan, this is getting to be very uncomfortable,” He murmured.

Luhan appeared in his full faerie form. His neck, arms and legs were still bare, skin glowing and blindingly white, but the rest of his muscled body was covered with a shimmering robe that reminded Minseok of deep, strong wine and butterflies the colors of the rainbow flittered and fluttered about his ebony antlers. His emerald green eyes twinkled when he spoke. “How did you know it was me?”

The man on the rock rolled his eyes and held up the fruit in his hand. “Can you please be more subtle next time?”

There was the sound of falling rain, and the smell of freshly cut grass. “Did anybody else see it?”

“No, I was the only one who witnessed it blooming right before my very eyes. But I am serious, Luhan, you cannot trifle with these things,” He added in what he hoped was a strict tone.

“Mortals are such a bore,”

“And yet you keep one of ours?”

Luhan shot him a glare. “How did you know?”

“You are getting rusty, my friend. How else would you be wearing your robe of love instead of that golden favorite of yours?”

“That hardly proves anything,”

Minseok laughed. “Then why are you here?”

“How do you know which one I have under my protection?”

“Some of my powers…linger. And one of us scouted and returned with terrible news.”

Luhan thought about it for a moment and sat by Minseok’s feet. “What is it about this boy?” He whispered.

“If you promise to help us to the east, then maybe I will tell you.”

“We fair folk do no such things,” Luhan huffed.

Minseok raises his eyebrows. “Fair folk of the Seelie Court do these things,” he smiled at fairy at his feet knowingly, “and that is why this agreement has been sealed even before you decided to come here and find me,”

Luhan frowned and clouds formed overhead, covering the morning sun that lit their surroundings. “Is this Prince Kai his lover?”

“No! But they are friends.”

“Friends?”

“Like you and I, Luhan.”

“I see,” He smiled, “Alright then, tell me about this boy, before the antlers on my head fall off from too much thinking and I shall assist you on your trek to Sangseung Hae.”

Minseok’s face became serious. “Swear on the fairie queene’s name,”

Luhan faltered. “I cannot do that! Maybe tomorrow, when the sun comes down to rest again. I have already done that earlier, I refuse to do it twice within a full human day.”

He looked slightly uncomfortable and Minseok thought he rather enjoyed seeing his favorite fairy in the woods like this.

“It is his mother,” Minseok began.

“I knew it! That explains the golden hair and dark roots.”

“You knew her?”

“I may have chased after her once, but she told me with those dark, intelligent eyes of hers that in the future, our lives will be entangled but not in a way I would imagine.”

“Interesting,” Minseok said.

“Did she fall out of grace?”

“It was by choice,” Minseok said, “Like with me.”

They were quiet for a while. Luhan fidgeted with his robe and looked up at his friend, and decided to ask the question that has been on his mind ever since Minseok has announced so very long ago that he was leaving the realm.

“Do you ever regret it?”

Minseok looked at him with a sad smile. “Only that I did not do it earlier.”

Kyungsoo found him by the stream, his crumpled form on the ground.

The news had been too much for him, and not even Yifan had the strength to withhold Kai from running away. It was past luncheon, and he worried about the toll on the young prince’s body. He sat next to him on the ground, unable to say anything.

“Kyungsoo, hold me,”

The prince’s anguished cries tore at his heart, but he held his ground. “I cannot, your Highness, it’s forbidden…”

“Kyungsoo, I beg you,”

The leaping fish from the stream and the sprouts of greens and reds from the trees all became a blur as tears formed in his wide eyes. “It is probably not my place to say, but we will find your mother, and you will not be alone anymore.”

And then you will not need me as much.

“What if she hates me?” Kai whispered. His voice sounded rough and tired, “I do not even remember her face. She never visited me, not once,”

“She was not at fault.” Kyungsoo gently said.

“You are supposed to be on my side!”

He wanted to laugh at how petulant the prince sounded. “This is why I am telling you to not lose hope.”

The form next to him stirred, and Kyungsoo froze when the prince’s arms wound around his waist, and buried his face in the hollow of his neck.

“Do not leave me, Kyungsoo, I’m all alone,”

He felt hot tears on his neck that ran down to his collarbone, and not too long after that, down his chest. Commoners were forbidden to touch royalty, but he supposed it was the prince that was touching him.

“You are not, I am here…”

“What if she hates me?” The prince asked again.

This time, the soft sobs of the only person he has ever loved with his whole heart became too much for his wretched soul. Caution thrown to the wind, he rested his cheek against the prince’s head and gingerly placed his arms around him. “She will not hate you, I know it. For one, she is your mother and she will be so proud to see what kind of man you have become. She will love you, because there is nothing about you that cannot be loved.”

“How can you be so sure?”

The lump in Kyungsoo’s throat made it harder to breathe. “I just do,”

“Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo,” The new emperor of Yagsog Ttang whispered, and little shivers of pleasure shot up his spine.

Three soft whistles snapped him back to his senses. Yifan had told him that after an hour, he will come and get them. The prince’s hold on him tightened and his heart raced, thinking of how compromising they must look at the moment.

“Your majesty, please, let me go,” He pleaded.

“We are not in the palace anymore. Please call me by my name…and you can touch me, whenever you want. I would like you to,”

“N-no…”

“When I have reclaimed my throne as emperor you will be by my side,” Prince Kai said, his voice firm.

Kyungsoo blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill once again. “I will always be by your side, I have sworn my life to you,”

“You know what I speak of,”

They were silent for a while before Kyungsoo disentangled himself from the prince, his prince. For in his dreams Kai was his, and he was Kai’s. In his dreams everything was simple, without laws and traditions that separate them.

But his life was no fantasy.

“Do not make promises you cannot keep, it is unbecoming for a man of your stature,” He did not have the heart to say that it also broke him into tiny pieces to know how his feelings were met, but their love would not thrive, not in this lifetime, not in the world they were in.

That night as they ate the stew Kyungsoo had made with from meager supplies that they had, the prince stood up and announced that he was retiring for the night, and that Kyungsoo will be sleeping in his tent.

The silence was so thick Kyungsoo felt as if it was pressing on him from all sides, and he glowered at the prince. Everyone else stared at the young man who will one day rule these lands that stretch as far as the eye can see, and it was not until Minseok mumbled something about taking a walk that woke them up from their bewildered state. Yifan asked Zitao to check the opposite end of the clearing and they both left without another word.

“This is hardly appropriate!” Kyungsoo said.

Prince Kai’s face was impassive. “You will do as I say,”

“I am not your slave!”

“I need you, stay with me,” The prince said.

“What is the matter with you?”Kyungsoo asked, his voice shaking with anger.

All the things that he had been hiding for the past years, ever since the prince himself had blustered his way through a confession came out like vomit, unstoppable, sour and disgusting even to his own ears.

“You will need a wife, a consort, to bear you a son that will inherit your future throne. Someone to smile with and hold your hand at festivals, to teach your future daughters how to be prim and proper and to braid their hair and paint their fans. You will need someone of noble birth, whose blue blood can be traced all the way to the royal house of the Kims and Parks.”

“Kyungsoo, I-“

“You will need someone who will be loyal to you when you are old and gray and be strong for you when the plots and assassination attempts become too much. Someone who will listen to your theories and laugh with you when the cook experiments with a new dessert that will fail tremendously on a night when there are important guests from the boarder,” His voice broke, “You need all these things and I will never be one of those.”

Now that was a lie, because the things that he had said in the latter part of his tirade, he knew in his heart that he could do those, at least.

“Kyungsoo, my dear, dear Kyungsoo, have you been thinking about these things all this time?” The prince asked, his arms stretched out for him.

“I cannot sleep in your tent your Highness,” Kyungsoo said, his eyes on the ground.

“Please, I need you,”

Not for the first time that day, his heart broke to hear the prince speak like that.

“At least for this night, if you cannot love me the way I love you, stay with me, be my friend…”

Later, when all was quiet and still, Kyungsoo found himself next to his prince, his fingers ghosted over the latter’s face, he traced his features and drank everything in. Though he knew in the morning he would be engulfed by shame the moment he stepped out of their shared tent, this was worth it, all of it, hearing Kai’s soft and steady breathing, their bodies warm and unmoving, right next to each other.

“I will always be by your side, I have sworn my heart to you,” He whispered.