“YA! Why are you laughing?! You think this is funny? We have to practice our answers so those people at the immigration office won’t think something fishy is going on between us!” I scolded my husband who is merely laughing his head off by the sight of me holding up index cards in front of him.

You see, we’ve been married for a little over a year now and have been living here in America for about five months. Wait, scratch that; let me tell you the gist of how we got to where we are now so you won’t feel completely lost ok?

*******************

Before getting married to my alien husband, we were actually dating in secret for five years. I mean being in 2NE1 and him in Big Bang kinda, sorta, perhaps, maybe made it difficult to be open about our relationship—don’t you think? His fangirls and my fanboys would probably go on an all out war with one another; most likely with death threats to us both as well. Plus there was that no dating rule applied to us girls by Yang Hyun Suk-sajangnim; well now that seems irrelevant seeing us you already know I’ve dated my husband secretly haha! *ahem* Please ignore my 8-dimensional self.

Now you’re probably wondering how it all went down am I right? I mean I’ll be asking myself too: ‘YA! How did it become from secretly dating to BAM! wedding bells chiming? Are you pregnant?!’ haha! Oh sorry! I seriously need to stop being so scatterbrained. And NO! I am not pregnant so it wasn’t a shotgun wedding thank you very much! [:

Three words: we. got. married. Now you’re probably like: ‘huh? no durrr we already know that!’ Well smartypants I was referring to the variety show! The WGM PD-nim talked with Yang Hyun Suk-sajangnim saying that he’s had his eye on me to go on the show since he saw my 8-dimensional self in 2NE1TV and was just waiting for the right time to propose the idea. The WGM crew suggested the concept of an idol pairing with a noona-dongsaeng type of relationship and Sajangnim agreed but with one sole exception: he’s the one to choose my husband.

I never informed my then secret boyfriend of my becoming the next bride in WGM; I had no choice actually—it was stated in the WGM contract that I could not tell a soul about it. What’s written in ink and had to be signed in ink meant no funny business; I was not about to give Sajangnim another me-induced headache.

So I ended up lying to my then secret boyfriend, texting him that I had to go to Jeju Island over the weekend for a solo magazine shoot so I won’t be able to contact him at all. He bought my white lie easily and told me he had to go to Japan for a filming as well. I felt bad but I had to lie or else I’d be the one paying the price. 

Of course I was worried that secret boyfriend was going to flip out and become the green monster of jealousy once he finds out I’m in the show but work is work. This will help with promoting 2NE1 as a non-snobby group and I felt confident enough about our relationship that I know for a fact I won’t fall for anyone else—hellooooo! 5 years and going strong people! And he should trust me as much as I trust him! Pshhhhh!

So as instructed in the pink mission envelope, I went to the YGent gym, which I found odd at that time since no non-YG employee can get in the new YG building with its high-tech biometric security and all. I mean only Sajangnim would be this paranoid—seriously, fingerprint scanners?

Well anyways, as I was in the elevator being filmed by my camera PD-nim, he suddenly gave me a ringing handphone. “Ehhh? For me?” I asked and my PD-nim merely nodded. “Yeoboseyo?” I answered. After what seemed to be a forever-and-a-day pause, “Uhhh, Annyeonghaseyo! I’m your husband and uhhh my mission was to uhhh call you without letting you know who I am so I apologize for my chipmunk voice,” came from the squeaky voice at the other end of the line. 

I swear I tried to hold it in but I couldn’t! I laughed like it was nobody’s business but I immediately stopped hearing the squeaky voice laughing as well. “Uhhh…what are you laughing at Mr. Husband?” I asked. “YOU! HAHAHAHAHA, OMG please stop talking! I don’t want to hurt your feelings but you sound like a…..MAN!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!” the chipmunk voice replied.

“BWOH?!?!?! YA! Look who’s talking! You sound like a girl! Better yet a boy struggling to go through puberty!!!,” I spat back and hung up before our debate grows to a full blown argument since I can be a bit of a hot head y’know?

As the elevator finally dinged, indicating that we’ve finally reached the gym’s floor, I stomped towards the door of the gym thinking of ways to make my future fake husband’s reality TV marriage life a living hell. However that soon changed when I saw a tall hooded figure through the clear pane of the door. ‘He’s taller than me, not a bad built at all, cute too…whoa what?’ I thought to myself then.

I opened the door nonchalantly, walked inside and dropped my bag to the floor and with both hands on my hips I confidently say in my most cutesy and girly voice, “You still think I sound like a man?”

I held my breath as he slowly turned around, but also laughing inside knowing that the WGM editing crew would probably make it even more slow-motion and repeat it countless times until the audience is like: “just show his kjsadlkgjdsl face already for crying out loud!” Trust me. I know. Been there. Done that. Ok on with the story!

“Ehhhhh?!” was all I could muster since the hooded figure still hadn’t revealed his face. How you may ask? My future hubby was wearing one of those annoying hoodies that zip all the way up to the top of the hood covering his face.

“Not at all my lady. I guess you were unaware that your voice was masked as well through your handphone. How about me? I know I definitely don’t sound like a puberty-deprived little boy now,” he answered, his deep voice still muffled through the hood.

“Oh hush! Why are you still wearing that stupid thing? Can you even breathe right now? Aigoooo!” I retaliated, shaking my head in the process.

“Aigoo? Now you sound like an ahjumma! Haha and by the way my PD-nim told me I can’t zip down my hoodie myself so that leaves you to take care of that important task,” the creepy-looking figure replied back, now with his arms across his chest, most likely with a smug smile behind the hood.

“Ugh do I have to?” I asked my own camera PD-nim who was filming to the right of me as he nodded without hesitation. I sighed and took a couple of steps forward, with my arms outstretched mere millimeters away from that darn zipper; but as luck would have it, my left foot got caught through the long strap of my bag that I carelessly dropped on the floor and forgot completely.

The next thing I knew I was falling on top of my hooded mystery hubby, who involuntarily broke my fall. I kept my eyes closed, feeling the heat creep up my cheeks as I realized I was now on top of him and felt a pair of arms encircled around my waist.

“I. can’t. breathe,” said my hero. I knew I should’ve immediately stood up so that he can finally breathe without my corn-and-bread-obsessed self preventing his whole body to intake much needed oxygen but I froze. My brain didn’t, no-refused to comprehend the meaning of the tuft of abnormally dyed hair that was peeking through the pathetic small opening I made while attempting to pull down my mystery husband’s hoodie. In truth, I can recognize that color of hair from a mile away. 

*******************

“BANANA!” screamed my husband out of the blue. “OMO! YA! Why’d you scare me like that?” I asked slapping his arm as punishment. “Oh well…I don’t know…maybe because you spaced out for a good 15 minutes babe! You keep making weird facial expressions too haha!” said my husband.

“I was just informing our readers of how we found out we were going to be in We Got Married together… which eventually lead to the revelation of our true relationship to the public, which exploded into drama in YG, then we actually broke—,” I didn’t get to finish my sentence as I felt my husband’s lips on mine.

“I couldn’t help myself. You’re too cute when you do one of your weird, spur of the moment ramblings in one breath. Wait, hold up…what do you mean by readers?” my husband asked, tilting his head sideways.

Ottoke! I accidently told him about you guys! I guess I’ll continue this next time!

“Shut up and kiss me!” I ordered him as I grabbed his collar pulling him towards me. My handsome hubby flashed me one of those devilish grins of his and I swear it still makes me swoon.

“Well what about all the studying we were supposed to do so you can be officially Mrs. Jenny Choi? Hmmm?” my husband teasingly asked me after kissing the tip of my nose.

“Hmmm…you better make a decision love…studying or being on. TOP. of. me?” I whispered to his ear in my most seductive tone.

I saw my husband’s eyes almost pop out of its sockets and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. 'Works every time,' I think to myself smugly. Next thing I know, he was pulling me up on a standing position, wrapping my arms around him. He then grabs the back of my thighs upwards, motioning me to wrap my legs around his body.

“I take that as a yes Mr. Choi Seung Hyun?” I as he carried me to our bedroom.

“You know I’d rather study you than those pesky little index cards Mrs. Choi,” he playfully replied, his right eyebrow cockily raised.

With his arms around my waist to support my weight and his lips already on mine, he kicked the door closed behind us, leaving Danchoo and Choco barking right outside.

_____________________________________

Author's Note:

*Park Bom is the US citizen (but not in real life!)

*Choi Seung Hyun is the hubby =P

*Yes I do know that Koreans usually do not change their last names after marriage!