Sunlight filtered weakly through the heavy curtains, dimly illuminating the room during the early hours of the morning.  The house was still quiet, and as I drifted in the place between waking and sleeping, I felt the heat beside me leave.  Struggling to fully open my eyes, I squinted against the muted sunlight, searching for him, only to catch the barest glimpse as he slipped out the bedroom door.

I sighed softly, disappointed that yet again he’d left without waking me up, but that was the nature of our relationship.  He would come to me in the very little free time that he could escape from watching eyes, and leave again just as day was breaking in order to avoid arousing suspicion or getting caught.  I knew what I was getting into when I fell in love with an idol, so I had no one to blame for my depression other than myself.

It was my day off, so rather than getting up and spending several hours alone with my negative thoughts, I rolled into the spot on the bed he had vacated, trying to absorb the residual body heat that still lingered.  His masculine cologne lingered on the pillow, and it teased my senses, relaxing me, allowing sleep to creep through me and my eyes closed gently.

“Yah, jagiya.”

The voice penetrated the fog of a dream, and I swear I couldn’t have been asleep for more than five minutes, but when I opened my eyes again the sun was shining brightly into the room, nearly blinding me in my unprepared state.

I blinked twice, my vision slowly adjusting to the light, and the room came into focus.  I nearly jumped out of my skin when suddenly there was a face in front of mine.

“Jesus, Himchan!  Are you trying to give me a heart attack first thing in the morning?!”

His smile was soft and gentle as he lightly bit his lower lip.  “Sorry jagi.  You’ve just been asleep for too long.  It’s almost ten thirty.”

I sat up, leaning against him for support, and looked into his eye curiously.  “Why are you here?  I thought you left earlier.”  It wasn’t that I didn’t want him here, it was just that…this was completely out of the norm for our….whatever it was we had between us.

He blushed, the pink spreading across his pale cheeks and up to the tips of his ears.  “I just thought that maybe it would be okay to stay with you for the day…if it’s okay with you?” 

He looked so vulnerable, so uncertain as to whether he would be rejected or not, that I could almost feel my heart breaking.  How such a kind, talented, intelligent man could be so insecure was beyond my capabilities of understanding.  One thing, however, was crystal clear to my mind; that if I ever found the person or people who caused him pain, I wouldn’t let them off quite so easy.

“Of course it’s okay,” I murmured, cuddling into his arms and crawling onto his lap.  “I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the day.”

His answering smile was blinding, causing his eyes to disappear into little crescents.  I wasn’t prepared for when he scooped me up and stood, walking toward the kitchen.

“Good,” he replied, nuzzling his nose against my own.  “Because I made you breakfast.”

I perked up at that; Himchan was an excellent cook, but I’d only had the chance to try it once before when I was sick.  But that shouldn’t really count since I could barely taste the rice porridge he had made.  Giggling I told him that if he kept cooking for me he could stay as long as he liked.

He raised one eyebrow mischievously and stole a quick kiss before I could even process what had happened.

“I guess I’ll just have to cook every day for the rest of forever then.”