As afternoon subsides with the sunshine, the clouds became a shady roof over the mansion. It wasn't hard to settle in, if that includes my mentality as well.

 

After enough play time and milk, Itzel soundly slept in Minho's arms. Her adorable slumbering face calmed me down, but it was not for long.

 

It was not after Minho put her in her new round, softly rocking cradle, and not after I tuck her in, kissed her forehead and wrap her silky baby duvet over her small frame. It was after we left her new nursery room, and walked along the long corridor, to a room Minho led me into, further away from her hearing range.

 

As frustrated as I am, I'll handle it calmly. This is a serious, a major serious problem and both Minho and I am aware of it. Most importantly, it concerns Father. Not to mention, his expectations. It finally hit me that things are starting to slip off my control these days.

 

Minho shuts the door and took a seat on the small, elegant couch before the chess table. I stand near the window, closing my eyes and letting out a long sigh. It's been quite a while since the news reached my ears, but it still won't stop bugging my mind.

 

"I don't understand." I said in a surprised tone. "Why?"

 

"It's my father. It's probably his way of.. apologizing." Minho replied, crossing his legs.

 

"What for?"

 

"Nothing comes in mind?" He replied. It struck me a few second later about the fact that I met that certain someone only because father invited me to a walk a few days earlier.

 

"I don't think it is necessary. I already told him, I'm fine. He's not to blame." My tone grew higher. "Besides, who would give someone a whole mansion, and a man, which is his son, and went ahead bulldozing my old house just to make sure I won't refuse his offer?"

 

"Hey, Father said he'd built a better house for you. It's just temporary. Don't worry so much, deal with it." Minho simply said with a wave of hand. I breathed out with shock.

 

"Excuse me! We will be living together! We are living together now! Don't you have any resent to this absurd arrangement?! What was your father thinking?! He has no right to do this to me!"

 

"You may not know how, but he can make it his rights." Minho said, eyes staring into air as if remembering something. "It happens everytime." He murmured.

 

"No!! I don't want this! I want to go back home, back to where I belong!" I shouted, stomping my feet. To this, Minho stared hard into me.

 

"You don't belong there, Taemin." As my name came out of his lips, I shut my mouth to listen. Strange that I feel so. "Father said it before," Minho said something after that, but it was more to a mumble which I could not hear him very well.

 

"What'd you said?" Minho battled with himself whether to say it again or not. He seemed hang back. "What?" I demanded.

 

"That you deserve better." Minho confessed quietly. And I let my mouth open as I keep recalling his words. Now looking less reluctant, he stood and walked to me. He put a supporting hands over my shoulders as he look into my eyes earnestly. "It's gonna be alright. My mansion may not be.. as homey as your home and you'd probably prefer your personal space there, but at least it keeps you safe. And Father may tend to be too serious about things and judge as he wants, but so far, I've never seen his judgements end in a disaster."

 

Minho's appreciation touched my heart, and it's a surprise to hear him consolating me. Still, I pout with heavy rejection to this idea of father. Living under the same roof with Minho? I don't want to get used to that.

 

I'm scared.

 

"Besides," Minho continued, wrapping one arm around my shoulder. "You are hurt, and you are a patient of my family's doctor. It may not be so bad, but it still needs proper treatment. Itzel may need care, but you," He pauses, and suddenly hoist me up bridal-style as I gasp with a surprise. "You need care too, mister."

 

"W-what are you doing?! Put me down!" I tried to wriggle free, but had to be careful from moving my abdomen so frequently, as the doctor instructed. What's wrong with this man? Why is he so reserved about this situation?

 

"No can do. You think I didn't saw the way you limped earlier? Save my and your money with a faster recovery." He said, with a grin. I settled with another pout. But froze with alarm.

 

"My money? What do you mean?" I asked Minho as he began travelling out the room to somewhere and I realized that my arms are already wrapping around his neck.

 

"Where do you think all the fees for the medical check-ups went to? Your debt of course." He answered, followed by a small laugh.

 

"You..! Damn--"

 

"Saviour of your life?" Minho cuts me to it and I hit his chest repeatedly to no avail.

 

"You're damn right! Frog! I knew I hated you!" He laughs at this and I almost punched his face right there and then.

 

"Well do you think I don't?" He replied. Hear that? That comes from the man who was giddy as I moved into his mansion.

 

I realized, by then, that Minho was heading to his bedroom. Or maybe, the room beside his, which is supposedly made my room. But, when he asked me to open the door for his hands were full with me, and when I twist the knob, pushing the wood to reveal what's inside, it was not what I expected. Minho's face also grew streaked when he saw that it was not, in any way, a bedroom should be. And I grimly smiled, eyes rolled back, to the fact that I'd probably spend my time next-door.

 

**********

 

Father came out of the car with a grunt. Cheondung hand him his cane and shut the car door gracefully as he smiled to me and Taemin welcoming them by the granite fountain. It was hard to keep a poker face, let alone a happy one. Taemin ends up making a desperate, desolate, crying and face.

 

Father let out a growl, a laugh it's supposed to be. "Why the long face?"

 

"Father," Taemin said, fingers busying itself. "I'm very thankful to you for what you did for me. From the very bottom of my endless heart."

 

"Then I see no need to discuss this matter any further. Let's talk about family dinner. How's Italian, tonight?" I pat the chick's back supportively. He tries to continue, with hesitation.

 

"But, Father, it's all going too fast and really, I'm very much satisfied with what I have before.. I'm moving into Minho's mansion." Taemin finished. Surprisingly, Father furrow his brows at the revealations.

 

"I thought I have sent men to bring all your belongings here. What do you mean you are still not moved in?"

 

"Uhh Father, if he is already supposed to moved in, why is his belongings in my room?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest. Father and Cheondung seem to find this amusing.

 

"Sir Minho, you explained it yourself. He has moved in, right?" The tall man said with a smile. I definitely saw Taemin's face going white as this conversation confirms we're staying in the same room, not for one night, but for the rest of his life living in my mansion.

 

"I just came to have a cigar and a glass of brandy. Old as I am now, I tire easily. Would you like to join me in my study?" Father asked as he offered Taemin his arm. The chick glances to me with a pleading face, whereas I could not do anything about the situation and could only shrug my shoulders. With a sigh, Taemin link his arm with Father and walk alongside him. I watch as they dissapear in a mahogany door to the left.

 

"Cheondung."

 

"Yes, Sire."

 

"Pinch my cheek." To my absurd request, the man gladly did after a polite bow. I shove away his hand from my face as the pain grew.

 

"It's not a dream, Sir Minho." He smiled, patting my shoulder. I sigh and shrug him off, leaving him behind as I wander into my mansion imagining Taemin's shadow and figure on everywhere my eyes could lay on. He's gonna be there, and here and anywhere.

 

Maybe it's jet lag. I strangely accept things calmer than the chick does, I don't know what is churning in my stomach, in the profundity of my senses and my feelings are balancing itself as time goes by. Sometimes my heart says, shove away this intruder, but now, sometimes it says, don't be blind and look what's in front of you before you lose him. I already regret the fact that Taemin and I started out badly. Fixing us takes time and I wonder if it would really come full circle.

 

Him moving in might not be such a bad idea. But then again, why is he torturing me like this?

 

**********

 

I open my eyes to a familiar cry, eventhough she's far away. In a matter of second, as I got up from my bed, the crying stopped. My eyes catches the blue numbers on the clock placed on the sidetable. It's night time, I didn't realize I was dozing off.

 

The door flung open, revealing Itzel in Taemin's arms. To my curiosity, the chick was wearing a smudged apron.

 

"Oh, good. You're awake. Here, Take Itzel." He said, as he briskly walks to me and hands Itzel into my safe arms. "I was frying meatballs for dinner. Can't afford to spoil it." Taemin said to me, as he was about to leave the room.

 

"Wait uhh.." I said, adjusting the baby to a more comfortable position. The chick halt his steps before the door. "What are you.. Why are you cooking dinner?"

 

"Father couldn't make it, he replaced you on the meeting you're supposed to attend two hours ago. The expensive Italian dinner got cancelled." Like a stab, assignments and conferences on work return to my already awake mind.

 

"No. I meant, why are you cooking dinner? Wearing an apron? I have maids." Things were so different these days, I could really care less about those servants I hired. "Right?" I asked, to confirm. Taemin sighs.

 

"I made Father sent them away."

 

"What? Why?" Taemin put his hand on his waist.

 

"Look, my house just got bulldozed. I found out my previous workplace burnt down and it would be a while before I could return there. I'm a freeloader in this mansion. And it satsifies me to know that I'm not completely useless here if I help around the house." He said and walks away. "And please change Itzel's diaper. Dinner in 10 minutes!" Taemin shouted across the corridor.

 

"Yeah.. definitely." I replied with a murmur. Itzel grasp onto my clothes and I kissed her nose before shuffling off the bed. I went to the baby's bag and grabbed a fresh diaper, leaving the room to the nursery.

 

After finishing the business and washed my face, I track down Taemin's steps towards the kitchen, the region in my house that I rarely visit. I found that the white, sparkling space very comfortable.

 

Taemin didn't realize my entrance as he busily pour sauce over the meal and Itzel was thankfully quiet all the moment. I surprised him with a 'boo' by his ear and the chick jolts before yelping away.

 

"You..! Don't do that!" He said, mustering an angry face as he tried to conceal his pout. I could only laugh at the adorable sight.

 

"What's this?" I replied instead and took one meatball but failed to bring it up to my mouth as Taemin slap my hand away.

 

"Later, at the dining table." He ordered before taking away the dishes on the silver platter out the kitchen. I follow after him sulkily.

 

"Tch. One wouldn't hurt.." We settle down on the table side by side with Itzel on my lap.

 

"Weird.." I comment to myself. The chick heard it and stared at me, hands still working. "It's just that I don't usually be in this part of the house."

 

"You wealthy bastards.. Then why make such a big house if you don't use it?" Taemin stated as he pushes a plate before me, full with meatballs and steaming, sauce over it.

 

"I'll have to use it from now on. I have you." I said and Taemin's blush didn't go unnoticed. I grin as I tried on Taemin's cooking. As I chew, the taste hit my senses, caressing my buds and I swallow it down greedily. "God, what is this?"

 

Taemin answers as he feed a spoonful of baby's food in Itzel's hungry mouth. "It's just various veggies and protein I shove in. You don't have to make side dishes and it's easy to prepare."

 

"Damn.. I'd totally hit dinner everyday." I said as I shove in another one in my mouth. Taemin pinches my arm then and I rub the sore part, putting down my fork to glare at him. "What?!" I said, amidst mouthful.

 

"Don't use the 'd' vocab. Itzel's on your lap." He warned and as if on cue, the baby laughs adorably.

 

"Baby you laugh at me? Hm? You laugh at me!" I played with Itzel, plastering kisses on her cheek and wishing I could squeeze her cuteness. Taemin smiled to this and fed her another spoon of her meal. An idea struck me as I watch the chick's meal still untouched. I bring up a meatball to his mouth and he stare at it dumbfoundedly.

 

"What's this?"

 

"Well, you're the one who were working. Here." I replied and nudge him to eat it. He looked surprised, but seemed all right with it.

 

"Okay.. Thanks." He said before biting off half of the meatball. I giggle softly as I watch him munch it with his full mouth, lips sparkly.

 

"Small mouth?"

 

"Leaf me awone.." He replied, and ate the other half. I pinch his cheek the same way I did to Itzel earlier, unable to resist from doing. He slap my back playfully and we resumed dinner quietly. I eat, Taemin feed Itzel and I feed him.

 

I never had a dinner so warm like this. When I think about how I missed so much things I could do with family, I feel a pang of guilt. Life is filled with many things I could make and yet I was blind not to see it. Next time, I'll invite Niel. I'll have Father join as well. And have us three sit down with a nice dinner Taemin makes and tell them how amazingly adorable Itzel could be.

 

That's my family I'm proud of.

 

**********

 

After tucking in Itzel, I step out the nursery, taking one last glimpse of her slumbering in her cradle before leaving her with a heavy heart. I sigh as I walk across the corridor and return to Minho's room. He had just came out of the washroom, wearing a similar trousers he wore last time we slept together in his villa. He glance at me as soon as he realized my presence.

 

"Nigel called. Your teddy bears safely arrived a few minutes ago. Want it to be sent now?" He asked as he made way to the bed as I did as well. He was talking about the teddy bears he bought for me at Paris, correction, not mine, Itzel's. I look at the clock on the sidetable, noting the late evening hour.

 

"It's late already. Let your worker rest, there's always tomorrow." I said, finishing with a sigh as I settle under the brown,silky duvet.

 

"I employed them. What I command, they heed. Unless they don't want to get paid." He proudly stated, leaning back on the headboard. As he fumbled with the light switch, the room grew dimmer. The dark cast over his face, but his deer eyes gleamed against the shadows.

 

"Just don't be such a bully. Karma can always happen." Minho sniggered at this and I lazily hit his stomach before lying down, pressing in my head over the plush pillow. A few moment of silence overtook the surrounding as I ignore Minho's gaze over my side profile.

 

"Taemin." He spoke softly then. I blink twice at the rare call of my name before glancing up to meet his big, chocolate eyes. "What happened to us?" My mind goes blank and I seriously don't know how to answer properly.

 

"How am I supposed to know.. Fate took us and throw us around like a soccer ball." I replied, pulling the duvet over my shoulder.

 

"No, not a soccer ball. I like balls, specifically soccer ball." I laugh at his comment and he stared hard as if didn't know how funny he sounded.

 

"Don't be so dorky, idiot."

 

"I'm not. I'm just telling the truth."

 

"Yeah? That's great.."

 

"It's just that... everything is taking a different twist."

 

"Why? Freaked out..?"

 

"No.. Just too much encounter. Many things sprawled before our eyes and we both were blind to see the obvious. Like Dahae-noona.. or Niel." Minho was staring into air as he spoke. And I didn't want to listen to him. I wish I could be deaf to what he said and pray that he won't mention it again.

 

It's the hardest thing to do, to confront those that were right before our eyes and reach. And yet, we played fool and end up regretting whatever we did, whatever we wasted and all the chances we didn't consider. Life is short. Time would not listen. But there's too many things to do, to make clear of, to explain about and to commit with.

 

I once had something perfect that became a haunt in a mere moment. Then, why can't I ease the pain in a mere moment as well?

 

**********

 

I couldn't help but remember about how close Jonghyun was around Taemin. But I could only guess how broken he felt. I have never had relationships like them, and I do not understand the attachment they still have for each other.

 

I realized that I was drifting away, staring into air and neglecting the conversation I had with Taemin. But, I saw that he had turn to the other side, giving me his back. Strange, but I felt a strong feeling of loneliness between us. I brush it off, feeling ridiculous and lay down as well.

 

I turn to the side, giving my back to Taemin too and decided this was comfortable. The night was quiet and my heart is suddenly filled with all this raking feelings. Something was adrift. But I'm powerless and could only wish this heavy feeling would pass.

 

I shut my eyes. Indeed, the night was quiet. But the small sobs coming from my back didn't pass by unnoticed. I listen, because that's the only hopeless thing I could do.

 

 My heart aches as I it dawn in me that there's a wall between me and Taemin.

 

 

 

 

 

*********

 

I've been quite off.. sorry if it's somehow boring cuz that's what I think. GAHH!!! Get a grip already me!!!

 

Ehem. Enjoy and comment. Love you guys<3! :)