Cold. That's the first word that came into my mind when I left home. It was freezing outside.

"It's winter time already."

I scoffed at my own thinking. 

I didn't need winter to remind me of the cold. It's cold at home. My heart is cold too. 

Three years, it has been three long years since the accident.

The love of my life has been lying on the hospital bed for three years already.

She lay there motionless. All I could hear was her gentle breathing and her heartbeat from the machines every time I visit her at the hospital. 

I wished it was me lying down there in her place.

I don't want her to suffer. Never would I want Seohyun to suffer.

I regret leaving her alone here in Seoul while I was out having fun with my buddies. 

I was out of town, snowboarding with my friends from high school. It was an annual get together because it was rare that the four of us to meet and catch some rest from our daily lives.

But that year was different. Seohyun and I moved into a new apartment that winter.

We were supposed to spend winter unpacking our luggage and getting use to our new apartment.

We were together for some time before we decided to move in so that we could spend more time amidst of our busy schedule. I would drive her around when she needed to so we only had a car.

I was saving up for the day I could afford a big house that's painted white for her.

Seohyun needed to go to work while I went to Pyeongchang with my friends. I wanted her to be there with me while I went to snowboard but she couldn't get any leave. 

I should have been the one driving her around while she needed to go out.

"Go have fun with your friends oppa! You're gonna be late! Jungshin chingu is fetching you right?"

"Yes, it’s okay let's just make him wait inside his Porsche." I said and grabbed her waist.

"Yah Oppa! Stop it stop it! Please!" I tickled her before letting her go. 

For some reason I felt like I was going to miss her a lot. My trip was going to last for four days and I was going to spend it snowboarding and catching up with my friends.

She kissed me on my cheeks and pushed me to stand up from the couch.

"Oppa, just go and have fun! I'll be fine alone! Besides, without you lazing around I would be able to unpack faster!"

"Yah! You-"

"Okay okay..just go okay? Remember to call me when you're there."

With that I left and was in my way to Pyeongchang.


Then that dreadful accident happened.

I received a call from Seohyun's mum. It was weird for her to call because I did not have a friendly relationship with Seohyun's dad. But Seohyun's mum sounded really worried over the phone.

"Yonghwa yah, come back to Seoul now. Seohyun's in a dangerous operation."

My heart stopped. I was panicking. What could have happened to her?

My mind went blank. There were many scenarios that were clouding my mind. I couldn't process anything else that Seohyun's mum said.

It was the second day of my trip. The last time I heard from Seohyun was the night before when I called her to wish her goodnight.

"She got into an accident on the high way. The car from the opposite direction moved out of lane and couldn't stop in time." her mother explained when I got to the hospital.

Jonghyun was the one who sent me back to Seoul while Jungshin and Minhyuk followed behind with another car. They were all worried too.

Seohyun's father was outside the operating theatre when I reached. He looked pale and worried just like me.

He's worried for his child. 

He saw that I arrived and nodded towards my direction. 

We didn't really talk a lot before the accident. 

He was unhappy that his daughter was together with me. He didn't like my job at all. He didn't like me because he thought I was just playing with his daughter.

I am a composer. Sometimes I have to work long hours, some times into wee hours of the night. My job requires to meet people in the entertainment industry and of course there were rumours of me dating celebrities and idols. I had to drink too and occasionally smoke when I was offered some cigarettes.

Seohyun's father didn't like it when Seohyun first introduced me to her family.

He warned me to stay away from her. But I didn't of course.

It was already a blessing for Seohyun's dad to acknowledge my presence outside the operating theatre. The last time we saw each other before the accident was three months ago at dinner in Seohyun's parents' place. We broke the news to them that we wanted to move in together. 

Her dad was furious when he heard what Seohyun said. That stranded their relationship because Seohyun left her place awhile later and move in together with me into our new apartment.

When Seohyun got out from the operating theatre, the doctor pronounced her to be in coma.

She had lost a lot of blood inside the operating theatre and she looked pale too.

We saw each other for less than 24 hours before the accident happened. And then she lost her glow. 

The glow on her face and the sparkle in her eyes. Those were all gone. Three years. That's how long my love's glow has disappeared for. 

I miss her. Even though I visit her every single day at the hospital after I finish working, I miss her. I miss her warmth. I miss teasing her and making her blush. I miss the sparkle in her eyes that caught me every time she speaks.

Call me weird, but I miss it even when we were fighting. I don't like to see her there lying down on the pale green sheets in the hospital without any words. She was quiet and soft spoken but confident. Seeing her lying there motionless was not like her.

When I was allowed into the ICU for the first time, I prayed to god. I prayed for Seohyun to wake up. I didn't like to see her lying there alone. 

She looked tired. Nothing like the Seohyun I knew. The Seohyun I knew was always enthusiastic with everything she does. She was rarely lazy or complained to be tired and wanted rest. 

But when she's lying there on the bed, she looked like she was being lazy. She was sleeping. Three years, she have been sleeping here for three years already.

The click from the door broke me from my reverie. 

It was Seohyun's mother. 

"You're here early today. I brought some fruits on my way here. I should go wash it. Her dad's coming over in a bit. Do you want to stay?"

"Yes omoni, I'll stay."

With that she went out of the room. We often saw each other at the hospital, something we had got used to over the three years.

"Seohyun. Wake up. Please wake up and look at me. You've been really lazy these three years lying down here. I've finished unpacking our new place. No I know what you’re thinking, it's not the apartment. I'm talking about the white house you wanted. I've finished furnishing it too."

I let my hands comb through her hair. Her black locks have grown longer and I make a mental note to bring a pair of scissors tomorrow before I visit. She hated it when her fringe got too long and covered her eyes. She hated looking messy and tired for she was always neat and tidy.

"Wake up and see the new house together okay? Your mum misses you and your dad too. Wake up will you? Wake up and look at the world that misses you."

And a lone tear slipped down my cheeks.

She might be able to hear me, so I moved slower to her ear and whispered "Sarang ah, wake up. I miss you. And...I love you"

Author’s Note:

New story! I had this idea in my mind for a while now but didn’t know how to execute it. Please do leave a comment after you’ve read it.