I lied down on my bed, still wide awake and staring at clock on my night table, blinking, 3 A.M. My brain wouldn’t stop repeating the moment of Tiffany’s lips on mine, the soft sensation and the sparks spreading all around my body. What was that? I don’t have any feelings for Tiffany…I don’t think so. All I knew was that Jessica occupied my heart at this moment…Tiffany makes me so confused about myself now. 

 

     I turned for the nth time in the past hour and sighed. Grabbing my pillow, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. “Yuri! Yoboseyo! Oh wait, you haven’t picked up your phone yet! Pick it up please! Jebal!” I felt the vibration of my phone under the pillow as it played the special ringtone for Jessica. 

 

    I bit my lip and took a second to wipe my face, clearing my mind. I sat up and searched for my phone under my pillow. “Yuri! Hey! Hey! Yuri! Hey—“ 

 

    “Jessica! Yoboseyo! Goodnight! Goodbye! Hanging up now!” I joked. 

 

    “Wah!” She whimpered. 

 

    I giggled. “Just kidding, you. Why are you calling so late?” 

 

   “I couldn’t sleep…what about you? You sound wide awake.” 

 

   “Yeah…I couldn’t sleep either.” 

 

   I heard her slightly chuckle. “Why are we always in sync?”

 

   “’Cause you made me into one of your minions.” I laughed and lied back down, pulling the pillow close to me as I continued to talk to her.

 

   “I didn’t do anything. “ She said playfully and I could picture her sticking her tongue out.

 

   “Sure you didn’t.” I laughed. “Well…what are we gonna do? We can’t sleep a wink.”

 

   “I don’t know…just don’t hang up on me, you know how I feel when I’m awake so late…” 

 

   “I won’t.” I smiled even though she couldn’t see me. “So let’s play Q n A. You go first.”

 

   “Hmm…are the marks I made on your arm gone? Did they bruise?” She asked in such a worried tone, I couldn’t help but grin.

 

   “Yeah they’re gone, don’t worry.”

 

   “Sorry though…it’s your fault for calling me cute.” I chuckled.

 

   “It’s worth it. My turn. Are you still jealous about Tiffany?” I dared to ask. There was a long pause before I heard her breathe to speak. 

 

   “…Very.” She whispered.

 

   “Why? I mean, c’mon…I paid more attention to you than her today and it was supposed to be me and her bonding today. I didn’t even neglect you once, what more should I have done?”

 

  “…can we just change topic…” She whispered again, sounding slightly in pain. I paused, surprised at her sudden sadness. 

 

  “Okay…your turn.”

 

  “Do you have your lab partner for the experiment on Tuesday already?” She asked in a normal tone, making it sound as if she was bipolar.

 

I raised my eyebrow at her weird behavior but shrugged it off. “Uh, yeah. Somebody asked me.”

 

“What? Aww…I thought we could be partners!” 

 

“I thought you would be with Donghae. You guys always are.” I forced myself to sound normal, though I felt heartache beginning to shroud my heart again.

 

“I know but it would be a nice change to have you as a partner this time. We’re great together, right?” Together…

 

“Yeah, we would be great together.” I’ll never ever hurt you or let you go if you actually gave me a chance to be with you…but I have to settle with the fact that you never will.

 

 “There’s always next time, right, Jessica?”

 

“Promise me?”

 

“Promise. “

 

~~~

 

                    “Okay class, pair up with your partners, we’ll have that chemistry experiment now. Wear your goggles before going to the front and getting your chemicals.” Tiffany and I sat in front of the chemistry set we were assigned on, putting on our goggles before facing each other. 

 

    “If I blow you up, I swear, that it was not on purpose.” I joked, posing with my hands in the air, showing an innocent face. Tiffany giggled and gently pulled my hands down. 

 

  “You’re one of the top students in Science. I know you won’t blow anything up.” 

 

  “Ah, right.” I smiled proudly.

 

  “Don’t get cocky!” She poked. We laughed lightly at each other, I couldn’t stop smiling. I was such in a good mood.

 

  I thought as I put on my goggles, “…have you been thinking about that kiss too?” 

 

  “Oh, I’ll get the chemicals, just set up the Bunsen burner.” She said, hopping off her stool and walked to the front. I watched her walk away with a happy thought in my mind.

 

  “Mmmwah!” A voice ringed in my ears as a pair of warm lips kissed my cheek. I turned to my right and found Jessica smiling at me. 

 

  “Ah, Jessica kisses.” I put my hands on my cheeks, pretending to be bothered. She pouted. “Just kidding.” I giggled and stepped off my stool, facing her properly. “Aren’t you getting your chemicals?”

 

  “Oh, about that…Donghae is absent today so Ms. Cho said that I could join any pair I wanted, so why not you?” She smiled. 

 

  “Oh, that’s great. Tiffany went to get the chemicals—“

 

  “Tiffany? She’s your lab partner?” She asked, surprised and I felt pain in her voice. I looked at her, confused. Why was she so bothered? I knew that she’s the jealous type when it comes to my other close friends but…it only took one talk and she would be calm. It looks like nothing’s working on her this time.

 

  “Y-Yeah…Jessica, listen—“

 

  “I’ll just join another pair, Yuri…” She mumbled, turning to leave. 

 

  My automatic reaction was to grab her wrist. “Hey, c’mon. There’s nothing to be jealous about.” 

 

  “I-It’s just…” I sighed and turned her around, grabbing both of her hands tightly and looking in her eyes, I tried to reassure her with my words once more.

 

  “You’re my only best friend, Jessica. Me being friends with Tiffany won’t ever affect our friendship, okay?” She looked at me with a worried expression, I thought I wouldn’t be able to convince her…but I finally saw the anxiousness and easiness in her eyes disappear slowly. She pressed her lips together and nodded. I smiled and pulled her in for a hug. “I love you.”

 

   “I love you…” She whispered. 

 

   “Woah hey, sorry for interrupting. Don’t mind me, just doing the experiment here.” Tiffany said as she came with the chemicals. I laughed and pulled away from Jessica’s tight grip on me. 

 

   “Oh c’mon, don’t be like that.” I hit her lightly on the arm. “So Jessica will be joining us since her boyfriend’s absent, Tiffany.” 

 

   “Oh that’s fine, this is gonna be fun!” She smiled lightly as she set up the chemicals. “Well then, let’s start.” 

 

    “Right.” I sat on the stool, and since there were only 2 stools per table, even if there were other chairs, Jessica hopped on my lap and I entangle my feet with hers instead of wrapping my arms around her waist because of the hands-on activity. 

 

    Jessica was silent as I worked on my experiment with Tiffany…I didn’t bother to cheer her up or try to talk to her because I knew that she’ll just be more upset and I’ll feel more guilty. Every time as I look at her from laughing at one of mine or Tiffany’s jokes, I would remove my smile immediately as I saw her leaning against me with a troubled expression, looking at Tiffany. 

 

   Throughout the whole experiment, I felt like a bipolar person as I laughed and smiled with Tiffany yet frowned with Jessica’s sadness. 

 

   We finally did the last step and it was just observing the results now, all we had to do after that was write down our conclusion. “Okay…I’ll go get the experiment papers from Ms. Choi.” 

 

   “Okay.” I turned to Jessica and she was gripping my thigh tightly, looking at the table with her expression looking upset. I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled the side of her neck. “You okay?” Her shoulders and expression softened, she looked at me and nodded, slightly smiling. 

 

   “So what’s our conclusion?” Tiffany asked, coming back with the experiment papers and pulled out a pen from her lab coat.

 

~~~

 

     “Just go ahead, Yuri. I still have to do something with my club.” Jessica said to me as she grabbed her bag and went to run to the other hallway.

 

    “Oh okay…Take care!” I called out.

 

    “I will!” She shouted back just as she turned to the right hallway. 

 

     I closed my locker and grabbed my back, slinging it around my shoulder then walked to the main entrance and exit of the school…I saw Tiffany tying her shoes. I smiled and approached her. “Well hi there.” 

 

    She looked up and smiled back, tightening her shoelace before standing back up again. “Well hello yourself.” 

 

    “Wanna walk home together?”

 

    “Sure.” She smiled wider.

 

~~~

 

    Once we stepped outside of school gates, something in my mind click. I wanted to ask her about that kiss…and if she felt the electricity I did too. 

 

   I looked at her as we walked and I found myself taking minutes to build up the courage to open my mouth and ask her. I wanted to know…yet I was afraid of the reasons and answers at the same time. 

 

  And most of all, I wonder at myself what this feeling building in me was when I was already in love with Jessica…

 

  As we turned around the corner, my mind flashed of the images of the kiss last Saturday…her blushing cheeks and the words whispered in my ear. I could still feel the sensation of her lips against mine when she pulled me towards her right before we said goodbye and Jessica and Donghae were too busy saying goodbye to themselves to notice anything. I just had to ask. “Tiffany…what was that kiss last Saturday?” She stopped walking. I stopped in my tracks, looking back at her.

 

   “So you remembered that, huh…” She half-smiled and continued walking. “Forget that, I was impulsive.” 

 

    “I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about it, believe me, I’ve tried.” I stood still as she kept walking. “Answer me something.” She stopped walking again and turned to me.

 

    “What?”

 

    “Did your heart race?” She stared at me…as if she was looking back at the moment to check and then I noticed the red tint on her cheeks as she looked away. 

 

    “Of course it did.”

 

    “Then can we please talk about this?” 

 

    “What are we gonna talk about? It was just a kiss.”

 

    I walked towards her and held her hand. “You and I both know it wasn’t just a kiss.” I whispered as I looked in her eyes. “Why did you kiss me?”

 

   “…” She avoided eye contact with me and stayed silent. I rubbed my thumb gently against the back of her palm and noticed her face was getting redder by the minute. 

 

   The silence was killing me and the fact that her lips were just inches away from another breathtaking kiss weren’t helping. “Tiffany?”

 

   “…I can’t tell you.”

 

   “Just tell me…” I begged yet she shook her head and kept looking away. 

 

   I couldn’t take it anymore.

 

   I leaned and placed my lips against hers, feeling the sensation again…electricity ran through my body. I nipped at her bottom lip before capturing her lips fully, it felt so right…so…amazing. She kissed me back, moving her lips gently around, cooperating with mine. I captured her upper lip for a few seconds before pulling away…then I realized my hot blushing face and I looked away, pressing my lips together. Tiffany did the same.

 

  “…we can’t happen.” She whispered. I looked at her with sadness and shock. 

 

  “Why not?”

 

  “You have Jessica.” I stared at her, still avoiding eye contact. 

 

  “Jessica? My best friend? My best friend who’s straight and has a boyfriend? Jessica that won’t even fall in love with me even if she was a little bit bi? What are you talking about?” I asked, slightly annoyed. 

 

   She chuckled and finally looked at me. “There’s more to you guys than just two best friends who have way too much skin contact.” She grinned. “It’s okay, I’ve accepted that you’re in love with her.”

 

  “W-What…” I stared at her in disbelief. “How’d you figure that out…”

 

  “One, I see the way you look at her. Two, I see the pain in your eyes every time she and her boyfriend do sweet stuff together.” She smiled and took one of her hands, caressing my cheek. “We can’t be together…I don’t want to get in the way of you two.”

 

  “But there’s nothing to get in the way of.” I argued. 

 

  She smiled sadly. “Just in case.” She leaned and…that’s it, just leaned, centimeters apart from our lips, she never moved forward. It killed me, when I leaned, she stepped back and let go of my hands. “See you tomorrow, Yuri.” She said as she walked away, as we were going to separate streets. 

 

 

---

 

I apologize if it's a bit low-quality. I wrote this during summer so I must've been too impatient to write properly ^^  I altered their personalities a bit, by the way ^^ Sorry if it feels a bit weird. Especially Jessica. Haha!