Fangirls.

Korean.

American.

Malaysian.

Indonesian.

Filipino.

Japanese.

Chinese.

And all those nationalities I haven't mentioned.

Fangirls can be from any nationality, they can be fans of any group.

At first, we were clueless as to what K-pop is. Sure, we might have had ideas but we only knew about what it really is when we entered fandoms, when we started liking their songs, their members, their looks, and when we started watching  their MVs and performances, live or not.

Like in every apect of life, there are happy moments and sad moments, or as we call it", "ups and downs". In being a fangirl, the joy is to find out that guys who are talented, handsome, and nice exists. In some cases probably, cause I've never seen somebody like that, well until I saw K-pop guys.

At first we fall for their looks, then we acknowledge their talents, and the last thing we know is that we fall for their whole personality, not even knowing if that's the real them. But still we believe they're not faking it.

We cry at their songs, we cry when they receive awards and we even feel proud of them... When they have scandals, we try not to believe those are real. Then at times, we realize that they don't know we exist. Of course they know that there is a fandom, but do they know us as individuals? I think not.

We write or read fanfictions of them just to satisfy ourselves, because even if we don't tell this ourselves daily, we know it won't happen. A fangirl and her idol? falling in-love? Ridiculous. Yet still, here we are, imagining, hoping someday, that would happen...I mean, you do realize that there are other girls who are in-love with your bias right?

I'll say this " We cry because of the boys in the TV or Internet who doesn't know we exist". See? Doesn't it sound ridiculous? We comment when we see a post of our bias in FB, or Twitter, or Tumblr. Sometimes we say "Omg! My husband is so cute!" , "He's so hot!!"  ,"Oppa is so handsome <3". We even comment how much we love them! I mean, do they even know they have a wife? or wives for that matter? All I'm saying is that we, are delusional. I'm not saying you, I'm saying we.

We spazz or fangirl over them and we try to learn the language they're talking in. We save money, telling ourselves that it's either for our trip to Korea or for a ticket to their concert. Exo, do you know them? I'm thinking you do. This is all because of this group that I'm writing this. I was listening to "Let her go" and somehow I connected it to Miracles In December and then to Exo, then I cried, because I (once again) realized this fangirl situation because of their song Peter Pan. And I'm like crying because I know deep in my heart (LOL) that I will not see them . EVER. And I can't accept that, so I cried.

I don't want to realize this and wake up to this reality, but as you can see, it is REALITY. Nevertheless, I have not regretted knowing them (not personally), or knowing Exo. Although I have wondered 'what if I never learned  about k-pop?', then I thought my life wouldn't be the same if I have never come to this place. K-pop is the thing that allowed me to make friends. Once in my life, I was a loner, I was afraid to make friends. Back then, in the class, they've already formed groups and since I was a late comer, I didn't know who to talk to. Then I heard this music. It was so new and unfamiliar. I found out it was k-pop. It started with U-kiss, then I learnt about other groups. I listened to their music, then my classmates found out I was into K-pop as well... I made friends then. I was so pathetic, I couldn't even make friends by myself alone. Judging is what I was so afraid of.

Isn't it incredible how music can connect people? How it can make you want to learn languages? How it can make you pumped up? How it can relieve your stress away? How it can guide you to fandoms? Yeah.. It is isn't it?

Now, this is A Fangirl's Reality. Enjoy.