“So, as I was saying, this janitor is really cute! He has huge ears, big eyes, and the most adorable smile ever seen on a human being!” Baekhyun exclaimed before he sunk onto the vinyl covered chair. The thing about Baekhyun was that you never disturbed him when he gossiped about the newest addition to Seoul Institute of the Mentally Ill, especially when the newest addition was a cute janitor.

Kyungsoo shooked his head, once again asking himself why he even hung out with Baekhyun in the first place.  

“Baekhyun, report to 104. Stop eating.”

Baekhyun grimaced as his walkie sputtered out the mentioned order by his supervisor, Joonmyeon. By simply judging by his face, it was a known fact that Baekhyun hated Joonmyeon and vice versa. He threw down his tuna sandwich as dramatically as he could do and threw on his labcoat, bidding Kyungsoo a simple “see you soon.” He didn’t forget to kick the door on his way out for extra effect.

Kyungsoo smiled then returned to the charts he was examining before Baekhyun began gossiping about the cute janitor-which was approximately 17 minutes ago, give or take a few seconds.

He wrote down a note before standing up and heading out to do his own rounds.

Kim Jongin: Still no progress.

709

Those numbers never failed to give Kyungsoo cold feet. He just wanted to run away to somewhere, as long as it wasn’t there. He’d rather ride a rollercoaster, and he hated those monsters to death.

Nonetheless, he knocked and walked in.

It was the same pristine white as the other rooms, yet to Kyungsoo,  it felt as if he was into a black hole. He took 5 steps before he was a comfortable distance away from the bed situated parallel to the window.

He noticed the occasional wrappers and cartons spilled here and there. Old habits die hard.

“Who are you?” The patient asked, crowing in fear.

"Hello, I am Do Kyungsoo, your primary physician."

"What a lovely name," the man said. A miniature velvet box laid comfortably in his hand as he fiddled with the bow over and over again.

Remember me. Kyungsoo smiled. "Thank you."

“I am Kim Jongin, although I’d really appreciate it if you called me Kai.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Silence engulfed the room as Jongin twirled the ribbon in his hand. It was white, like the room.

Kyungsoo remained stoic as he awaited for the same question he was accustomed to, and Jongin didn’t disappoint as he asked it 5 seconds later.

“Where is this place?”

Kyungsoo plastered on his infamous doctor smile- pretentious and cold -and slowly replied, “Seoul Institute of the Mentally Ill. You, sir, are here since you suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

Jongin nodded, as if he understood everything perfectly.

Kyungsoo took this as a sign to continue. “Your brain will restart itself on a regular basis. For example, I have repeated all of this 541 times.”

At this point, Jongin looked up and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, doc. It seems my brain .”

There was once a point in Kyungsoo’s life where he believed life was not worth living for. It was Kim Jongin who changed all that.

Kyungsoo was always the poster child of his family-he excelled in sports, academics, and kept up a good reputation. Underneath his smile, he loathed how he had to pretend to be this cheerful student who planned on inheriting his family’s company, when in reality, he was in love with medicine and the idea of helping the sick restore, hopefully, to their old healthy self.

But to keep his mother and father content, he applied to the best business schools in the nation and was admitted without hesitation to all of them. However, he secretly applied to a medical school. He also got in.

When he told his parents of his passion of medicine, he was immediately disowned. All his ‘friends’ turned him down when he came asking for a place to stay. All but Baekhyun.

Baekhyun was always a  rebel, and so admired Kyungsoo’s bravery and took him in. Kyungsoo was not aware that Baekhyun had a roommate though-and a very handsome one at that. That roommate was none other than Kim Jongin.

“You’re cute.”

Those were the first words that were spoken to Kyungsoo the moment he brought in his overstuffed luggage.

“And you’re hot but you don’t see me bragging about it.” Kyungsoo frowned as he dragged his bag to his new room.

“Wow, feisty. I like it.” Jongin smirked then helped Kyungsoo carry the bag into his new room, which also happened to be Jongin’s room.

“So why are you in medicine?” Jongin asked as he ran his hands through Kyungsoo’s various stacks of books.

“I like medicine, why else?” Kyungsoo remarked rudely as he reached over for an anatomy book. Jongin sniffled. “My parents made me study medicine,” he announced.

At this, Kyungsoo paused. From the 3 months he has lived there, if there was one thing he learned, it was that Kim Jongin doesn’t listen to anyone.

“And you listened?”

“Yeah.”

At this, Kyungsoo beamed. He was the one who got disowned to follow his dream. He risked everything for medicine.

“I got disowned,” Kyungsoo said.

After that, Jongin never said anything. It wasn’t until Kyungsoo was finished with his report when Jongin whispered, “You’re brave, Kyungsoo...”

“So you like him?” Baekhyun gaped.

Kyungsoo blushed bright red and covered Baekhyun’s loud mouth. “Yah! Shut up!”

Baekhyun rolled his eye and pushed Kyungsoo’s hand of his mouth. “Do Kyungsoo, the ex-heir of Do Industry, fell in love with Kim Jongin, son of Korea’s most respected doctors. Cliche.”

Kyungsoo pouted. “It’s not like I wanted to. He’s just nice, sweet, handsome, cute, y-”

“Wow, calm down! I get it, you like him.” Baekhyun scoffed. This wasn’t the first confession he was hearing today...

After he saw Kyungsoo’s stoic expression  he decided to tell him, “Well congratulations cause he likes you too.”

Before Kyungsoo could question, Baekhyun cut in and said, “He told me this morning while  you were taking a shower.”

Kyungsoo blushed, “I see.... Well I have somewhere to be at- I mean Joonmyeon wanted to ask me about Calculus! Bye Baekhyun!”

Baekhyun bit his lip and hid in his laughter as he watched Kyungsoo collect all his books and run out of the cramped study room with his poor excuse.

“Joonmyeon isn’t even taking Calculus.”

“I heard you like me.”

Jongin coughed. Sehun, who sat in front of him, laughed. He stood up and walked away. As much as  he’d love to stay and watch, he understood when a couple needed their privacy.

“Wh-where did you hear such a thing?” Jongin asked quietly, ready to kill Baekhyun. He swore he wouldn’t tell a soul!

“Does it matter?” Kyungsoo remarked, sitting down in the seat Sehun was in. Idiot. My idiot.

Jongin huffed. “Of course-”

Kyungsoo reached over and grabbed a fistful of Jongin’s polo and  plastered his lips on Jongins’. He gave Jongin a tease by running  his tongue over his lips before pulling away. “Does it really matter? I like you too.”

Jongin remained quiet and shook his head. “My first kiss...” he mumbled.

Later that day, after Jongin walked Kyungsoo to class hand in hand, Kyungsoo took out a leather bound notebook.

March 4, 2014

today was amazing, I kissed Jongin! We are now a couple.

He closed it tightly before hiding it away and taking out his anatomy book. It wasn’t a diary perse. It was a memento that he’ll always cherish since Jongin was special.

Kyungsoo and Jongin had been happily dating for 7 years now. Both students were done with their pre-med classes and were in their last year of medicine. Over the course of the 7 years, Jongin and Kyungsoo moved out of Baekhyun's apartment and bought a house of their, thanks to Jongin’s parents. It was spacious and modern, something Jongin liked and something Kyungsoo hated since it reminded him of his old home. In his mind, spacious equaled lonely. Still, Jongin adopted two dogs, which surely appeased Kyungsoo in the lonely aspect.

Surely they had their ups and downs but Jongin would always placate Kyungsoo with kisses and hugs. It was rarely when Jongin would be mad, and when it did occur, Kyungsoo would coax his way by cooking Jongin his famous kimchi spaghetti. It worked all the time.

Their love was that strong. Still, it was breakable.

Kyungsoo literally resembled a zombie as he made his way across his room, where his flashing phone was drawing his attention.

“It better not be Kris again! I just finished my round a few hours ago...” he mumbled as he grasped the phone in his hand and slid it to answer, not checking the contact name.

“What?!”

“Quit your job.”

It was his mother. Kyungsoo vaguely remembered screaming at her to leave him alone. that he was happy. He remembered perfectly though how her words broke his heart as she said, “Jongin, eh?”

And the call was over.

Sehun moaned in agony as he massaged his lanky long legs. He immediately sat down in a chair not far from the store and began to chant “You will be okay. Your legs will be fine!”

The reason for his pain was none other than Jongin. Earlier that day Jongin dragged out Sehun from the warmth of his bed and drove  him to the shopping district of Seoul. “I am proposing to Kyungsoo, I have to buy a ring!” was his reason.

And how could Sehun say no to that? The idiot lovebirds have been dating for nearly a decade and it was about time Jongin got the balls to confess.

Plus, he was tired of Luhan complaining about Kyungsoo’s complains.  The only solution to that was Jongin proposing so he hid his face of discomfort when Jongin walked up to him, disappointed.

“I really thought I found the right ring this time...”

Me too, Sehun thought. “Well Jongin, you are only visiting the most expensive stores, how about visiting a more downgraded store. I’m sure Kyungsoo-hyun won’t mind. He loves you.”

Jongin pouted and agreed. Maybe Sehun was right. Sure all the rings he has seen so far are drop dead gorgeous and expensive, but they are not the ring. They don’t hold an ounce of Jongin’s love within them- only his wallet.

With a new goal in his head, Jongin grabbed Sehun’s hand and pulled him towards the nearest jewelry store.  

No less than two hours later emerged Jongin with a miniature velvet box laid comfortably in his hand as he fiddled with the bow over and over again.

Sehun followed suit and despite the throbbing in his legs, he felt happy. After visiting another dozen stores, Jongin found the ring. The ring that would lay comfortably in Kyungsoo’s small hands. The ring that their friends would notice and comment, “Finally!” The ring that would claim Kyungsoo as Jongin’s.

Jongin grinned and planted a kiss on the corner of the box. “Just wait hyung.”

Kyungsoo grimaced as he was handed in his new duty as an intern at Seoul Institute of the Mentally Ill: change diapers.

As he went from room to room, he changed the undergarments of many patients. Of course, there was always a RN observing him with a tranquilizer next to her hand in case the patient gets out of hand.

Despite the circumstance, Kyungsoo was happy. He always wanted to be a doctor for the mentally unfit. His grandmother was driven to insanity when she married into the Do family. He was pretty sure if he stayed another second in that household, he would have  died. He was happy now, which is what matters. Plus, he has Jongin.

So for the remainder of the day, Kyungsoo followed all orders before returning home to his lover. His lover whom was also an intern, expect at a normal hospital. His lover whom never returned that night.

Kyungsoo received a phone call at one in the morning. It was his mother.

“You never told me Jongin was handsome.”

Kyungsoo felt his soul out his body and chopped into a billion pieces. “Don’t you touch a hair on him, you monster!”

“Calm me mommy, like you used to. Anyway if you want your lover toy come to the warehouse at 7 in the night on Saturday. I’d be on time if I was you, you know how impatient your grandfather-”

Kyungsoo yanked out the cords of the phone before screaming.

Jongin flinched as he felt yet another punch come his way. He knew many bones were broken the moment the men in black came out with pipes and switchblades. He felt deep cuts in places where it missed a vital organ by one centimeter. They were deliberately torturing  him.

“Hey .”

“You like Kyungsoo’s ?”

“Why were you born?”

The verbal abuse was a different story. He could recover from the injuries, but their words sliced on a deeper level. At first it didn’t affect him one bit, but as the hours passed by, he felt himself believe their lies. The lies became the truth.

And to believe he was only shopping for a ring a few hours back. For the same man who is making him experience this torture.

“Do you really think Kyungsoo loves you?”

Another stab.

“He would be here by now.”

Another punch.

Jongin gathered all his courage and hope to mutter one statement: “He’ll be here soon...”

Another kick. Jongin knew he had yet another broken rib.

“He knows you’re here.”

“So where is your boyfriend?”

“He abandoned you.”

And yet another beating.

“He’ll be here...” Jongin whispered as blood sputtered out of his mouth. The blood landed on a man, which only ticked him off.

“You ! I’m going to you now. I bet your gayass will like that, huh?”

Jongin struggled as two men pinned him down. The older man laughed as he unbuckled his belt and beat Jongin a few times before yanking down Jongin’s jeans.

They ignored his screams. They ignored his cries of pleas. They ignored as he sobbed, hoping the moment would be over. They ignored the blood that flowed down Jongin’s thighs. They ignored the last statement Jongin said before fainting.

“Don’t touch Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo knew he couldn’t go to the warehouse earlier than planned. That would only piss off his grandfather and mother. Knowing them, they probably hired a few thugs to beat Jongin.

Still, that didn’t stop him from sneaking in that Friday night into the warehouse. He knew Friday nights were reserved for family meetings.

He patted the gun in his oversized hoodie and sighed. He’d probably have to shoot a few times to scare off the thugs so he begged Tao to borrow his gun.

But it was all for Jongin so it didn’t matter.

So Kyungsoo sneaked into the warehouse, aware of all the hidden doors and rooms. He headed straight for the room which was infamous in the Do Family: the captive room.

Luckily, he could tell that the thugs who were in charge of the premises were off eating dinner since they were nowhere in sight and not a single vehicle was in view. Kyungsoo mentally sighed and quietly opened the door.

He was met with complete darkness.

“Jongin?”

He heard some ruffles.

“Jongin?”

He then heard a sob.

Kyungsoo immediately the light and was appalled by the sight that he was met with. There, in a corner, was Jongin handcuffed like a prisoner in medieval times with no clothes on whatsoever.

His hair was tussled, as if someone kept on pulling his hair extremely hard. His face was thin and filled with cuts and bruises. One of his legs was twisted in a weird position and it was evident by the marks on his body, that he was and beaten with metal pipes.

The thing that surprised Kyungsoo the most was the look in his eye. Jongin looked scared. Not even- he was terrified. And it seemed that Kyungsoo was the cause of this.

“Jongin? Are you okay?” Kyungsoo took a step forward when Jongin began crying his eye out.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me! I’m sorry!I’m sorry!” Jongin’s pleas made Kyungsoo froze as he took in Jongin’s statement once more: broken.

“It’s me, Kyungsoo...” he whispered as he crouched down.

Jongin shut his eyes and shook his head. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Jongin-ah...” Kyungsoo whimpered. Why was he apologizing?

At that moment, when Kyungsoo inched an inch closer, the gun that was situated in his hoodie pocket fell out. Jongin glanced at the foreign object, and Kyungsoo could swear, all the color in his face went away.

“Don’t hurt me! Monster!”

“I’m not a monster, I’m your lover!” Kyungsoo yelled. This only fired Jongin’s rampage. “Leave! Go away! Don’t hurt me!”

Kyungsoo felt a wet trail fall from his eyes. Why in the earth would he hurt Jongin, his other half? All he ever did was love him.

“Jongin, it’s me. Look at me!” Kyungsoo cried. Jongin only continued his screams. “Monster!”

Luckily, Kyungsoo brought a tranquilizer back from the hospital with him, in case someone jumped on him. Who’d knew he would use it on his own lover?

Kyungsoo felt new tears form on his eyes as he neared closer and closer with the needle in his hands. He knew he was making things worse for himself, but he had to get Jongin out of there before anyone noticed.

“NO! DON’T HURT ME!” Jongin shirked, inching back towards the wall despite his broken ribs and stab wounds. Kyungsoo only felt his heart break piece by piece as he raised the needle.

“I’m sorry.”

“NO!”

Kyungsoo stabbed the needle into Jongin’s neck as Jongin sputtered out apologies and curses.

“I’m sorry...”

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember who was the one who said that.

“That’s funny. They had the same names we have!” Jongin smiled, clapping as Kyungsoo finished explaining.

“That’s because we are those people Jongin,” Kyungsoo said calmly as he monitored heart rate. Jongin remained still as he took in the information.

“But you are not a monster, doc.”

Jongin smiled and began fiddling with the bow once again. Kyungsoo stared intensely at the box. He never got to saw the ring.

“Will you ever give that to me?”

Jongin paused and looked up. He shook the box and  nodded. “Eventually, not until I remember everything for myself. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll come back.”

You always say that. It never comes back. Kyungsoo smiled. “Of course.”

Within the next thirty minutes, Jongin talked about the weather and his breakfast that day. Kyungsoo could only nod and write down his results for the day.

It isn’t until he is paged to check up on a new patient when he leaves Jongin’s side. “Bye Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, with a smile in his face.

Once Kyungsoo was out of the room, Jongin’s happy face disappeared. He began to weep. For a reason unknown to him, Jongin would always cry whenever Kyungsoo left the room.

He opened the little box and was surprised to find nothing there.

Kyungsoo sighed as he made his way down the hallway. He spotted Baekhyun chatting with the curly haired janitor. Baekhyun spotted then motioned for him to go away. Kyungsoo obliged and walked inside the nearest break room.

He wrote down a note before closing his eyes and thinking about the old days.

Kim Jongin: Still no progress.