I’m awake, but I let my eyes still closed and inhale the cold morning air that seeps inside my bedroom. I can hear the sound of birds chirping, and I squirm on my bed. I open my eyes slightly, and I’m facing the window. Looking at the color of the sky that I notice through the curtains, this is no later than 6 AM. I turn my body to face another side of my room, and see an angel-like figure sleeping soundly beside me. My head takes a few seconds to process.

     “AHHH!” I let out an inhumane shriek and jumps down from my bed. I glare at the person who is now wriggling on it. He rubs his eyes, and sits down.

     “Mina-ya… Good morning.” Baekhyun, my boyfriend, greets me with his eyes half-closed. I’m still staring at him in horror.

     “What the hell are you doing, sleeping in my bed?!”

     Baekhyun pouts, and moves a bit to sit on the edge of the bed, closer with me. “As I said yesterday, today is the first practice…”

     Baekhyun is a musical actor, and he’s been living with me since he arrived in Japan last summer. He lived in the dorms for a few months when my father arrived home from his business trip, and when he needed to go to another one, Dad let Baekhyun stay again with a few ground rules (including, most importantly, “Don’t get married secretly behind my back.” and “Don’t make my daughter pregnant.”)

     His monophobia is no longer the main issue, he’s always surrounded by his musical crew, or at least myself. Before his first practice last year, he had difficulties to sleep and wandered around my living room until dawn, talking nonstop due to nervousness. Last night he also talked about his concern for today’s first practice of his second musical here, but he looked less worried, and I thought he’s used to it already. Seems like that wasn’t the case.

     “Then what? Why did you sneak into my bedroom?”

     “I felt uneasy, and I couldn’t sleep. But when I peeked inside your room, you were sleeping soundly and that made me want to sleep too.”

     I put my palm on my forehead and groan. “You have your own bedroom at this house.”

     Baekhyun just smiles, stands up, and stretches his arms towards me. I hastily push his chest as he keeps going towards. He whines, and in the end I just let him hug me.

     “I’m scared.”

     “You’ll do well. Everyone loves you. You’re a star.” I pat his back repeatedly.

     Baekhyun hugs me tighter, and suddenly he drags our bodies back to bed, with me landing on top of him. I struggle to let go, but he holds me even stronger like a kid hugging his little doll. “Let’s sleep a bit more.”

     “Sleep in your own room!” my voice is muffled on his embrace. Baekhyun laughs slowly.

     “I love you.”

     I get silent, and stop moving. I sigh audibly and loosen up my body. “I love you too.”

     Baekhyun drops me, and now we’re lying down side by side again. He still doesn’t let me go. I release myself and stand up beside the bed again.

     “You still have to get up. Go clean the living room, that way maybe you can clean your mind too. Come on, I’ll make you some hotcakes.”

     He lights up, but closes his eyes again. “Five minutes.”

     I throw a pillow to his legs, and shake my head as I go outside the room. I can hear Baekhyun chuckling from my bed.

-

     Baekhyun is promoted to be a supporting lead actor, and he gets more time to perform onstage in this new musical. That also means he gets more practice. He goes home at midnight almost every day, and he didn’t even go home this Saturday.

     On Sunday morning, I just get back from grocery shopping when I spot Baekhyun’s shoes on my house’s entrance. He’s nowhere to be found in his room, or around the house. I open my bedroom’s door, and there he is, sleeping on my bed while bathed by the morning sunray.

     I carefully climb my bed and sit beside the sleeping beauty. I look at his clearly exhausted face, and cautiously unplug the earphones he’s wearing from his ears. My touch wakes him up, and I his soft hair. “Go back to sleep.”

     He nods, and closes his eyes again. I start to slide down my bed, but Baekhyun grabs my hand, and murmurs two short words. “Stay here.”

     I exhale, and sit back beside him. He keeps holding my hand as he falls back asleep.

     After a few hours of good sleep, Baekhyun becomes his usual cheery self in the afternoon. He’s steadily helping me cleaning the house even though I ask him to just continue resting.

     “We couldn’t even go to a date this week.” he says as he washes his hands after we finished cleaning the bathroom.

     “It’s okay, just focus on the practice.” I answer beside him. “We’ll have plenty of time after the musical ends.”

     Baekhyun closes the water tap, dries his hands and suddenly lifts me up to the spot beside the wash basin. He looks at me intently, and I just sit there facing him, nervous. He slowly plants a kiss, and everything seems to stop that time.

     He pulls away, but keeps his face close with mine. “I’m so glad I met you again.”

     That sends uncontrollable blush all over me, and he kisses me again. Him saying that actually makes me feel a bit guilty, remembering that I ever happened to decline his presence when he first came here.

     But I’m glad we’re together now.

-

     A month passes after Baekhyun’s first practice, and his first show will be in a few weeks. We’re eating dinner when Baekhyun tells me about the details about the musical.

     “I will have to change outfits this time.” he sounds excited. “And we’re having a tour!”

     I stop chewing. “Tour?”

     “Yes. Five-city tour! We’re going to start here in Tokyo, then we’ll travel to Osaka, Nagoya, and three other cities, and we’ll wrap it up here again.”

     “So you’re going to be away?”

     “Of course. Maybe for a month.” Baekhyun says calmly.

     I’m staring blankly at my food. Why am I feeling uneasy?

     “Oh right… I think I need to tell you as well about this… I’m going to have a kiss scene.”

     I lift my head in an instant. “What? What kind of kiss?!”

     I might be too loud because Baekhyun is staring at me with a surprised expression. “Well… A kiss… Just a kiss.”

     Even I myself just realize that my breathing got heavier, and I try hard to silently compose myself. This is professional stuff, professional stuff… When he becomes a lead actor, God knows what the stage will have for him. I comment no more, and continue eating.

     “Mina-ya, are you angry?”

     “No, why would I.” I answer instantly. “Work hard.”

     I said it in a quite hostile manner, and I feel sorry but I decide to say nothing.

-

     On the day of Baekhyun’s first show, I couldn’t attend it because I had an important exam in my university, and I will have to wait until he completes his tour until I can see him on stage, and at home.

     I help him pack as the preparation of his tour, and I fail so hard on hiding my bad mood. Baekhyun who usually chirps any time he can is now staying silent after examining my face.

     “Mina, I’m sorry.”

     I wake up from my flying thoughts and blink multiple times. “Wait—what? Why? Why are you sorry?”

     “I’m coming back soon, okay?”

     “Of course you are.” I say. “Watch the things I could do if you weren’t.”

     Baekhyun laughs, and I can see that he felt lighter. “And about the… That scene, I’m sorry too.”

     “Stop.” I raise my palm. “Don’t think of it as a big deal, you may get more of it in the future. This is just the start of your career.”

     “As expected, Yoon Mina.” Baekhyun folds a scarf and places it in his luggage happily. “What if I get a bed scene later?”

     I throw a pair of gloves at his direction, and he laughs at the look at my face. I huff silently. “It’s okay. I’m prepared. My man is an actor.”

     Baekhyun grins at ‘my man’ and leans close to give me a peck on my forehead. “I’m so glad I have you.”

     His constant confession never bores me a bit, in fact it just makes me even more insane day by day. How am I going to deal a month without him?

     I personally accompany him to the train station a few days later, his first destination is Nagoya. He waves to me through the window, and when the train moves further and finally his face can’t be seen anymore, I start to get anxious suddenly. What is this?

-

     The house is quiet now thanks to the absence of Baekhyun, and I soullessly do my papers on a Saturday night, a week after his departure. He called me at least three times a day, but his voice alone can’t console me. He always cheers me up from the phone, and I try the same, but I can only hope he doesn’t notice the grief in my voice.

     Two weeks after his departure. I’m feeling even more restless, worried, and a bit stressed over nothing every day at home. Aren’t I used to be alone? This is supposed to be a typical situation, I’ve been experiencing it for more than two years since Mom passed away. Why am I feeling scared now?

     Am I the one who has monophobia now???

     I googled the symptoms and my condition does not really portray someone monophobic, but I’m still disturbed nevertheless. I wander around my living room, clutching my phone, but I’m not sure whether to call Baekhyun or not because he might be resting now after practice. I throw myself to the sofa and exhale loudly.

     I call someone in my contact list, and the Busan accent of this person is apparent even only with a ‘hello’.

     “Oh, rare for you to call, Mina, you usually only send me a chat. What’s up?” Eunji, also a high school friend, has her explosive voice ring in my ear already.

     “Still on your semester break?” I ask.

     “Yeah, I’m home now, I’ll go back to Seoul in a month. How’s Japan?”

     “Chilly.” I say. “You’re not going anywhere? It’s Saturday night.”

     “My boyfriend is in Seoul, he’s working.” Eunji sounds bitter. “How about you? Do you have a boyfriend now?”

     “Y-yes.” I hesitantly answer. I think our Korean friends haven’t known about my relationship with Baekhyun, except for Kyungsoo. “Here’s the thing, Eunji… My boyfriend is currently traveling, and I feel overly distressed right now.”

     “Why? You’re afraid he might have an affair?”

     “What? No. I’m just worried. Like… What is this feeling… I’m usually doing okay alone, but I’m feeling a strange anxiety without him right now. Have you ever heard of monophobia? I searched it online but the symptoms doesn’t really match, but I’m feeling like that. Do you think—“

     I can hear Eunji groan from the other end of the phone. “Oh, Mina, you’re so cute.”

     “What?”

     “You’re missing him. You want to see him. That’s it.”

     “But—“

     “I’ve always known it, you’re pretty quiet but you always overthink things. Calm down, Mina.”

     I let out an awkward laugh. I hang up, and continue laughing like a freak. Oh, I’m just missing him. Right.

     But this is getting unbearable.

-

     This is the last week of Baekhyun’s tour, and he’s far away in Hokkaido. My father is coincidentally there too for his business trip, and yesterday they were reportedly having dinner together. Hah, even my father gets to meet him.

     During a break today, my classmates and I go to a café near our university and I cringe at the overload of Valentine’s Day decorations inside. My friends get excited to see the special menus, but I stick with latte.

     “It’s tomorrow, guys. Have you prepared chocolates?” one of my friends takes out a pretty box. I glance at it, and consider to give Baekhyun one, but when he gets back next week, Valentine’s Day would be passed already.

     As we sip our drinks, the café plays a Korean song, IU’s Friday. I try not to focus on it, not only because I actually understand the language, but also nowadays I take any song’s lyrics to heart. Damn you emotions.

Each minute, each second is so sweet

What is this man?

I can’t help but to fall in love

All day, my heart rides on that clock hand

Getting closer to you with each tick

     I plant my face to the table, and my friends look at me strangely. This song is not helping my longing for Baekhyun.

It’s too hard to wait until the weekend

Time, please go faster, I want to rush the clock

     “Do we really have Professor Shiyama’s midterms tomorrow?” I ask emotionlessly.

     “Yes, at 3 PM. Why? Do you have plans for Valentine’s Day?”

     I shake my head, lying. If only the damn midterms weren’t set for tomorrow… I might catch a plane to Hokkaido.

     I continue brooding as IU and Jang Yijeong’s voice continue to fill the room, torturing me with the sweet song.

-

     I wake up the next day between books I used to study last night because of a call, and it’s from my class president. What, is the exam pushed earlier?

     “Hello, Matsumoto-san.” I try to clear my throat to hide my post-waking up voice.

     “Yes, Mina-san, I’m sorry to interrupt you. I’m just calling to inform that the midterm for today afternoon is postponed until next weekend. Enjoy your long weekend.”

     My eyes widen as Matsumoto hangs up. Things and plans start floating in my head, but I need one thing first. I dial a number on my phone.

     “Hello, I need a plane ticket.”

-

     In the airport, I’m feeling giddy, and my attempt not to crack a smile every thirty seconds is a failure. I get an afternoon flight to Hokkaido, and as I wait for the boarding, I call Baekhyun. He said he’s having a show tonight. I silently smile, as I’d reserved a ticket for that one as well.

     “I need to go to school, bye.” I say as I hang up the phone. I laugh to myself and stomp my feet to the ground happily.

     A few minutes later, I receive a call from my father.

     “Hello?”

     “Hello, Mina. Where are you?”

     “I’m… I’m on my way.”

     “Oh, are you going to school? I’m in the airport.”

     My heart sinks. “Are you going home?”

     “No, I’m calling to tell you that I might be away for longer time, I need to go to Korea now.”

     I heave a relieved sigh. “Oh, okay. Be careful.”

     “But I need not to worry about my daughter, right? Baekhyun said that he’s going home next week, when we met a few days ago.”

     “Yes.”

     “I’m very glad to have someone to entrust my daughter to. As long as you two don’t act up, okay? I need someone to hand my company to.”

     I laugh. “Don’t worry, Dad, this is not a drama. I won’t run away with a guy, I’m not studying hard all this time for nothing.”

     “I don’t want to spoil you, but Baekhyun is preparing something for you next week when he gets back. But I still don’t know when, since he needs to buy a ring first.”

     I feel like the insides of my body melt, and I can barely sit straight on my chair now. “Dad… That’s a huge spoiler.”

     My father lets out a long, hearty laugh, and it takes some time until his laugh dies down. “Mina… I trust that punk to protect you, and I’m sure you also know that you have to protect him. Be happy.”

     Tears pool down on my eyes, and I smile to my phone. “Thank you, Dad.”

-

     This is not the first time I’m watching a musical, moreover Baekhyun’s show, but I still feel nervous every time I settle myself on the chair in the theater, and look at the closed curtain. I uneasily fix my sitting position many times, and my heart skips a beat when the curtain is pulled aside.

     Baekhyun is doing an awesome job, of course my boyfriend would. He has way more parts than the previous musical, and that’s how I know he was destined to do this. Deep inside, I was waiting for the kiss scene, and I unconsciously smirk when it’s actually only a light peck to his co-star.

     I stay near the theater after the show ends, and call Baekhyun.

     “Hey, Mina! I just finished a show. Are you home yet?”

     “I know. You did well. I like the song you performed in blue outfit the most.”

     “What—how did you know? Is there a fancam?”

     “Tsk, you wish. Go to the café in front of the theater when you finish.”

     I laugh to myself after I end the call, ignoring Baekhyun’s unfinished flustered words. A few minutes later, Baekhyun comes running to the café, still in his stage makeup. His smile gets wider as he spots me inside, and I’ve stretched my hands to hug him, but he holds my shoulders instead and kisses me before I can say anything. He’s still kissing me, and when I look around, the café employees and a few other visitors are staring at us, flabbergasted.

     He pulls away, and grins to me. I can barely return the smile because of my racing heart. “What are you doing in a public place, Byun Baekhyun?”

     Baekhyun hugs me tightly. “This is a nice surprise.”

     I smile. “I’m so happy to see you.”

     We need to part ways soon because Baekhyun needs to attend a meeting first, and we decide to just meet in my hotel when he finishes later.

     Later that night my hotel room, I’m preparing to meet Baekhyun downstairs in the lobby when the bell rings. I find my boyfriend in front of my door, with a huge pink bow on his head. I stare at the view with my mouth slightly open.

     “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

     “I don’t want to eat this kind of chocolate.” I say. Baekhyun grins and enters my hotel room.

     “I know you don’t like chocolate that much, anyway. So I’m not bringing any.”

     “I can finally meet you. That’s enough.”

     “You can’t wait until next Wednesday, can you?”

     I remove the pink bow from his head, and put it on my own head. “I’m dying.”

     Baekhyun hugs me again. “Do you know how nice it feels to be missed?”

     “Who says I miss you?”

     “…says someone who hops into a plane to Hokkaido to meet me.”

     I pinch his cheeks. He comes bare-faced, but this is the Baekhyun I want to see. Who knows that I would be dying to meet someone whom I desperately tried to avoid in high school?

     “Let’s go, I come to eat with you, right?”

     “I don’t want to eat. We have plenty for time until I leave on Sunday.” I sit still on the edge of my bed.

     Baekhyun crouches in front of me, and puts aside the bow on my head. “So what do you want to do now?”

     “Just stay here.”

     Baekhyun stands up, exhales, and slowly comes up to me with a kiss. He climbs to the bed and I instinctively lie down, with him above me, our lips still united.

     “I love you.”

     I beam happily, and he kisses me again. I don’t even allow him to go inside my room at home, but today, I’ll let him in.

-

     A few weeks later, I’m going to Mom’s grave with Baekhyun. After I lay down the flowers, I’m just staring at the tombstone, with Baekhyun’s arm around my shoulders.

     “Mom, I’m doing well. I’m not alone anymore, I have someone beside me now. Dad is busy, but he’s healthy too. I’m going to handle the company later, so he wouldn’t be that tired when he gets old.”

     Baekhyun smiles at me proudly, and looks at the grave as well.

     “Mother!” he shouts happily. “I’m going to make sure Mina stays healthy. And Father too!”

     I turn to look at him, and smile widely. Baekhyun returns the smile, and holds me even tighter.

     “Also…” he says again. “If you meet my father, tell him I’m doing well too. Soon I will visit him in Korea, hopefully with Mina. Tell him you will become his in-law.”

     I stare at the pebbles at the ground, and my sight becomes unclear after tears fill my eyes. I hastily wipe my eyes with my sleeve.

     “Yeah, Mom… You heard him. Can you give us your blessing?”

     We walk to exit the memorial park, hand-in-hand, fighting the chilly weather. We haven’t said anything for a while, and Baekhyun sways our hands.

     “Was that a yes?” he asks.

     I form a little smile. “Was that even a proposal?”

     Baekhyun chuckles, and wraps his arms on my shoulders again. “Okay, okay, I’ll do it properly soon.”

     “But did you really mean that?”

     “Mina, I said it in front of your mother. Yes, I meant that.”

     I hang my head down, hiding my watery eyes while smiling. I usually come here with grieving tears, but now, Mom must be pleased to see me with happy tears.