Ailee's pov

" How many times do I have to tell you Hyo, I'm fine. We had a small argument. I said my peace and now we will just be dance partners and maybe friends when this is all over with." I move the phone over to my other ear and roll my eyes. I may be able to lie out loud to my friends, but I'll never be able to say it enough to make it true for myself. After the way I handled dinner with Jay last night I was mortified. How was I ever going to face him today at the studio?

"You know this is bigger than that, girl. Just because you say your peace doesn't mean he has to listen. Good luck trying to pass this line over on him, because I think you're in for a rude awakening. He seems like the type to like a challenege." Hyolyn giggles on the other end of the call are grinding at the migrain already starting at the front of my skull.

"Thank you so much for the pep talk, Hyo. It's not like I needed a friend to tell me everything would work out and be fine." I grumble miserably at my friends truth. Sometimes I just want to her what I want to hear not what i need to hear. blah

Hyolyn giggles again. " I never said it wasn't going to work out. It just might not be the out come you've got planned in that pretty lil head of yours. Maybe it works out in a way that you get to inspect that six pac of Jay's up close and personal and then tell me allllll the details over wine." She laughs at her own joke, as I try to keep the mental picture of Jay's choco abs out of my head.

"You know.. I don't think i should have called you about this." I whine into the phone. " Here I am trying to get ready to face this embarrasing moment and all you can do is put bad mental pictures in my head. I need a clear brain right now so that I don't get ed over like last time" I flop down on my bed and throw my arm over my eyes. The sting of tears, just another reminder of how pathetic I am.

Hyolyn sighs. " Ailee, stop beating yourself over Kevin. It happens to all of us. He was a and didn't deserve you anyway. Isn't it better to have found that out before it got any more serious?"

There's a part of me that agrees with everything Hyo says and another part that feels like it was as serious as I had ever been with another person. " I know all this Hyo. I'm just working this out the best way i know how."

"Maybe what you need is a new perspective on it. You've heard it all from us. Now maybe its time you get a taste of something better. Just don't let something that could be the best thing that's happend to you go out of fear. If you really have no feelings for him then fine. Tell him. But, if there is any doubt maybe trying to find out what that is will help you get yourself completely over this." Her point made Hyolyn goes back to practice and leaves me to stew in my own emotional caldren.

How in the hell was I going to get through this with my heart and my head intact?

I scooted off the bed and hopped up. "No time like the present to face down my own stupidity." I say out loud to my refection in the mirror on my vanity. I move over to the door way and grab my gym bag to head over to practice. Maybe if I just pretend nothing happend I can make it through this one day without completely embarassing myself.

At the studio door I can hear our music already playing and through a small clear spot in the door I can see Jay practicing. He moves like water. I love the way he rides the rhythm. I feel myself growing a stupid grin and shake myself to get a grip on reality. "Crap.. all I've got to do is see him and I turn into a fangirl." I chid myself silently to do better as I take a breath and push open the door.

At first he doesn't notice me so I make my way over to the far side of the room to put my bag down. I keep my eyes slightly down, but a smile on my face in hopes of playing this off like nothing happend. I get all the way to the corner when the music shuts off. My shoulders hunch forward a little at the sudden silence. I take my time pulling out my things. Water bottle... check .... towel... check... dance shoes... check extra hair ties...

"How long are you gonna ignore me? Cuz this is totally gonna hurt our practice time if you keep this up." Jays voice fills the room and the shock in the silence startles me enough that I start to tumble backwards. Just when my is about to hit the ground I feel Jay's hands grab me under my arms to catch me. I lean my head back slowly and look at him upside down for a second. His grin is cocky and sweet as he stares at me from above. " If I get to play hero everytime I startle you maybe I should do it more often." He smirks and slowly lowers me to the ground then backs up.

I take a minute to my suddenly dry lips before I say anything. " For your information I am not ignoring you. I was just getting my things out while you practiced alone. As for startling me, I don't recommend it. I don't like it, but then I don't like a lot of things you do." I pick myself up off the floor and turn to glare at him. I notice him flinch on the last part and i feel a pain in my chest. No! I repeat to myself silently. I must keep him at a distance. I can't feel sorry for the things I say. I roll my eyes and move onto the floor. " Let's get this party started I can't be here all day I've got a recording at 12:30."

Jay moves toward the sound system and reaches for the remote. " Well we can't make you late. So on with the show. From the beginning?" He asks me with no trace of the sadness I thought I'd seen at my comment.

"I need to warm up so lets do something else first so I can get my muscles loosened up." I stretch my arms over my head and shake out my body.

"I think I can arrange something to help work out the kinks." He grins at me through the mirror and pulls the remote out of his pocket. As he moves up beside me the Cupid Shuffle starts to play.

"You have got to be kidding me." I turn my head to look at him directly and he just grins.

"I thought you said you needed to warm up. Well get to steppin' babe." He spins and starts flap around his arms as he dances to the beat.

I can't help but grin back as I start to sway to the rhythm from my childhood." Oh I'll step alright. This was my jam back in the day. I am about to show you how it's done." As the chorus kicks in we start to move as a team following the words with each movement. I laugh as Jay shuffles his feet quickly and shimmies to the stupid song. Eventually as we move together we end up facing each other to mirror our movements. Smiling and laughing together as the song comes to an end. Breathing heavily, grinning from ear to ear Jay almost takes a step towards me. Reality hits him first and he pretends to go the other way away from me.

"That was fun. I'm assuming you are all warmed up, so let's get started." Jay walks around me toward the system and checks some things giving me time to get my head back on straight. "We'll start from the beginning and run through the whole thing first then we can go piece by piece to see what we need to work on over the next few days." 

I straighten my back and take a deep breath. The idea of having him close to me almost sends me into panick mode, but I get my emotions under check and open my eyes as he starts across the space towards me. He slides in behind me and his hands close on my hips. His fingers touching the tiny bit of skin exposed between my shirt and shorts, sending a shiver up my spin. Keep it together girl, you are better than this... It's just a dance and when it's over you can go back to your old life. The one before Jay with his nosy ways, his stupid smirk... his beautiful eyes... his yummy bod... woah mind lets keep it together. I lean back into his chest as the song starts and he slides his hand up my side along my ribs. His eyes are looking down so that we don't meet in the mirror. I sink down and slide back up along his body and he spins me and pulls me face to face. My breath mingles with his as we continue to move around the room. My mind slips into that happy place I go to when I dance. The only thing I can feel is happiness and Jay's arms as he moves me through the motions.

Our breaths become labored as we move. For a moment I catch his eyes in the mirror and I see hunger. His eyes lock with mine as he slide back into me from behind and he leans forward putting his lips right next to my ear. " This is one of the things I love about you, Ailee. You loose yourself to the music and to me. The feel of things, instead of using your higher reasoning. If you give me a chance at these feeling when the music stops I'll never disappoint you." My breath hisses out as I stumble at his words, but he never lets me hit the ground. I'm pulled full force into his chest as we collapse togther on the floor. I pull my self up enough to look down at him, my eyes wide as dinner plates. His eyes are closed and his chest rises and falls quickly. " I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He sighs and reachs up to cover his face with one of his hands. " It's just after what I said last night...I...I wanted to say I was sorry for the way I acted. I should have never said those things to you. It just hurt my feelings when you put me into the same catagory as someone who's hurt you." He moves his hand away and his eyes burn into mine with such intensity my breath catches. " I would never hurt you on purpose, Ailee. I hope you know that, and I hope you know how sorry I am to have caused you pain." His hand slowly reaches up and cups the side of my face, slowly running his thumb along my cheek bone.

For a second I lean into the warmth of his hand and shut my eyes. How easy it would be to give into this man. He is so different from Kevin I'm starting loose all the reasons I have for keeping him at bay. He carries himself with so much power. Like a shield against the world. He makes me feel like he could handle anything. And that no matter what he stood against, he would always protect me. We've only really known each other this short time, how have I allowed him this far behind my walls without me knowing it. I care what he thinks. I wonder what he's doing when I'm not around. I actively try to make him laugh or smile. If I'm not careful I'm in serious trouble of falling in lo...

I pull back from his hand and roll to the side. Killing the moment. I lean my head on my knees as I try to get my breath back to normal. My heart feels like it will bust out of my chest at any moment. I'm never going to make it through this practice. I have got to get out of here. " I think I'm going to call it a day." I say as I turn to go towards my bag and throw my things inside. " I'm not feeling well and I've got that recording in a couple hours, so I'm gonna head out and go get ready early. Maybe take a nap. I will give you a call tomarrow so we can set a time to practice. See Ya." I practically run from the room. Not daring to look at Jay as I go.

I make it to the women's bathroom and slide into an open stall and lock it. Putting down the lid I take a seat and try to gather myself back up. I feel like I'm in a thousand different pieces that will never be whole again. I feel so many things at once but only one of them is clear and familiar. Anger... I breath it in and let it flow through me. It reminds me that if you let people in they only hurt and disappoint you. That when you give everything to one person, they have the power. The power to hurt you so bad you're never the same. Flipping everything you thought you knew on its head and forcing you to rebuild. Alone.

I take another deep breath and open my eyes. This is what you need to remember Ailee. I repeat it over and over in my head. If I'm gonna be in this dance I have got to get my togther. Running from practice because I can't deal is not an option. I pick up my bag off the floor and open the door. Walking over to the sink i turn on the cold water and gather it into my hands. I splash my face with the cool water a couple of times trying to get my together. After i towel off my face I look in the mirror. My eyes are puffy from unshed tears and I look tired. The look on my face makes me sad and i turn away. straightening my back i head out the door.

I take two steps out of the restroom and see Jay leaning against the wall looking anxious. When he sees me come out he straightens up and takes a step forward. " I know I'm probably the last person on earth you want to see right now, but I just wanted to make sure you where ok." His eyes are so gentle and so full of concern something inside me snaps. I take the last to steps that fully separate us and wrap my arms around his waist. All that hard girl pep talk washed right down the drain. My anger dies at the site of his concern for me. All the pent up anger I was relying on to keep me safe flies away on a breeze of pure comfort. A feeling I haven't felt for a long time stirs inside me and I can't help but notice him.

He doesn't react for a second then his arms wrap around me tightly and i can feel his breath in my hair. I close my eyes and breath in his scent. He is so warm I just want to wrap myself up in him. The things he makes me feel scare the hell out of me, but I can't control my wanting of him. I pull back slowly and he releases me. " I know you're probably thinking I'm crazy, but you honest to God scare me to death. I haven't had these kinds of .... feelings about anyone in a while and the last time it happend I got my handed to me." I sigh and finally look up at him. The look on his face is so mixed with emotions i almost laugh. " I'm not saying I can do this and I am not making any promises, but what I am saying is I understand what you are saying to me. I understand and I can feel it too. I'm going to do something i said I'd never do agian, I'm going to trust you.... "I  bob my head down to avoid his eyes again" A little bit any way. If when this dance performance is over you still want to be with me we'll talk about it. But until then we will just enjoy our time together and hope for the best. How's that sound?" I chance a look up at his face again to check his expression.

His eyes are so sincere I can't breath for a second. " I will show you how much you mean to me everyday Ailee. With this chance I promise to live up to your expectations. All I ask is that you talk to me. If something happens and you get scared or confused or anything just talk to me. If you don't tell me when somethings up I'll never know. and if I don't know I can't fix it ok?" He puts one of his hands on the side of my face again and draws a little circle on my cheek making me feel weak in the knees.

I place my hands on his arms and nod into his hand making him grin. "I will see what I can do, but like I said no promises."

He grins and pulls me back into his arms for another hug. " That's my girl. I've got all the faith in the world in you, babe. Just keep being you and we'll be okay...