OH MY GLOB, IT'S FLUFF. 
Guys, this is long okay. Good luck. 

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I don’t want us to be just friends.

-

Unaffected by the news circulating around the neighborhood, Hyuna busies herself reading a book which film is set to be in theatres this summer. She doesn’t care about what her friends are conversing since she has nothing to do with it. She is simply nonchalant about what they are discussing; once Hyuna notes something as out of her league, she will never have the interest to talk about it anymore (she will no longer even care about it.) This news going around town, it sure isn’t her thing.

He is handsome, Hyunjoo proclaims. Her comment draws everyone’s eyes on her—all but one. She knows some things about this man coming soon and she gladly shares the knowledge she has with her friends; and that part about him happening to be a neighbor’s relative, she doesn’t miss to mention.

Overhearing chatters about a handsome man, Hyuna suddenly wants to smack her dear friend on the head. She stops by a certain page only to look at the others whose attentions are drawn by someone who seems to know this man nobody has ever met yet in person.

The group’s talks about handsome men—it’s nothing new to get amazed about. Hyuna is someone who doesn’t go after men nor looks. Though somehow deep inside, as she stares at everyone in the circle, Hyuna has this cognizance that she will get linked to this issue no mater how much she hates it, no matter how she always avoids this kind of topic, and no matter how hard she tries to ignore the fact that she will.

She can almost have that free escape sooner if it isn’t for Hyunjoo who shifts attention to her when Hyuna is about to leave, “Hey, Hyuna unni.”

“Unni? I heard it wrong right?” turning about, she asks, only earning a little laugh from the person who addressed her so.

“Alright, fine. Hyuna.” With high pitched voice, and excitement all throughout her veins, Hyunjoo bellows the words, “Isn’t he your cousin?”

Many sure are surprised by the sudden revelation. Hyuna isn’t pleased as ever.

Now, everyone will ask her here and there about him. Now, everyone will befriend her because she is related to him. Now, she is part of the topic because of him.

“Second cousin,” she clarifies, not being able to find anything to cover that truth about her. She hates it when Hyunjoo can actually be this bigmouthed for a person. She has told her many a time not to spill any beans about this person coming to town that week, and about other stuff she has told her before. (Though good thing, she has never mentioned certain secrets with Hyunjoo or Hyuna will end up regretting that everybody around her knows about something she is embarrassed to shout to the world.)

Hyuna pretty knows that her cousin’s appeal will totally catch the eyes of those maidens she calls neighbors, some, she considers friends. And, when they happen to know that she is related to him, women will flock to her and ask her things. Is she ever right about that.

“What’s his name?”
“Will he be staying at your place?”
“Will you introduce him to us?”

Hyuna responds to their questions one by one; and for a kindhearted friend like her, she introduces her friends to this cousin, who stays next door to hers, after few days of insisting (and when he finally arrives). She totally hates talking to him, but just for her friends does she do this.

She collapses on her bed, so tired of the day’s events. Introductions sure are not easy, especially when it’s the whole town curious about one person who just came in (and, there’s no one else to do the thing since Hyuna’s other cousins, the Parks who are supposed to live next door, are away.) She has just left her friends outside; they are talking to him. She no longer finds means of staying outside that’s why she's stuck in her house; she has no intentions of hitting on her dear cousin when everyone else surely has.

Hyuna just hopes that nobody will bother her, asking about him, now that they have already met him. They can already dismiss Hyuna from being some sort of a bridge to her cousin.

The next day, Hyuna’s hope turns to reality. Nobody has ever bothered her, nobody has ever gone to her, nobody has ever tried to go near her because her friends are with her cousin. They are busy mingling with him. Fine, she sighs to herself. Now nobody wants to talk to her because of him.

She opens a new book, this time, something about a man and his peers conducting a mysterious plan secretly. While reading, she wonders if ever any of her friends will actually consider talking to her for a moment. Hyuna does not deny that it kind of feels lonely being alone, even if she has something to read (which is already the life for bookworms like her). But, sitting on the bench by herself, with everyone just across, talking with someone she hates, Hyuna sort of feels like withering.

(She feels empty.)

She can’t approach her friends because they are with him. She doesn’t want to go anywhere near him. There is something about him that she abhors.

The routine happens occasionally, Hyuna always by herself on that part of the road and on the other side are her friends with her cousin. She is about to enter her house when Hyemin calls her and talks about another issue; something that she will want to hear, will want to know.

“Unni”
“Yeah?”

“I think, just may be, Hyunjoo unni wants to hit on your cousin”

Hyuna peeks from where she stands, her gate; she sees Hyunjoo and him along with the flock of young women; compared to the others, she is physically close to him. And there suddenly comes this stuffing feel occupying the whole of her chest. It feels weird seeing her cousin that close with Hyunjoo, she admits. She also knows by experience that her dear friend likes men and she wants playing with them (but is never willing to go serious on anyone, for the reason of who-knows-what. Hyunjoo has never told Hyuna about it.)

Flirt, Hyuna can say. Her friend will totally play along with her cousin’s ty antics (and who knows what Hyunjoo’s intentions really are) but there’s this idea that sends insight to Hyuna that maybe, just maybe, Hyunjoo will be ready to go on a serious relationship with him – with her cousin. And wow, how Hyuna hates that thought. It makes her stuffed up even more.

“Well, that is fine by me,” with croaking sounds, she tells Hyemin. “She sure is close to him now, considering they have just met.”

When Hyuna is alone, Hyunjoo goes to her. They are sitting on a bench, side by side, Hyunjoo’s head on Hyuna’s shoulder. Both them are usually like that before, before this man came to the scene. And, once again, they are like that because Hyuna’s cousin is someplace else (and finally, Hyunjoo has the time to go to her, to actually notice her.)

“Hey,” Hyuna goes for Hyunjoo’s fingers. She entwines them with hers slowly, so as not to surprise her friend. Well, Hyunjoo isn’t startled nor confused at all because this is one of those few things they do when they are together. Instead, to actually tell Hyuna that she’s listening, Hyunjo lifts her head, enough to catch with the older one’s sight.

“Do you like my cousin?”

For a brief time, there is this tension between them—it feels like that atmosphere goes thick and there suddenly are wide eyes around, watching them secretly. Hyuna is so nervous that she now even cares if her swallowing is obvious to her friend. It makes her heart pound to abnormal patterns beneath her chest.

She usually isn’t like this when in front of her friends – when in front of Hyunjoo – but somehow, wanting to know something about her, about Hyunjoo liking someone, is a bit unhinging. (Flurry.) Even Hyuna agrees that she is acting a bit odd when Hyunjoo first responds to her question with that kind of observation.

“Well,” Hyunjoo pauses,Hyuna’s heart seems, too. “No.”

Hyuna is glad and she doesn’t even know why. She just wants to hug Hyunjoo right there and then after hearing that.

“I will never have the intention of hitting on your cousin.”

Hyuna laughs when Hyunjoo says those words, her friend is serious though.

“I don’t want to be a part of your family as a cousin-in-law”

Hyuna roars. Hyunjoo is just…something, something she can’t tell yet. But she sure likes her for her honesty.

Days after, Hyuna’s cousin returns to the place and as usual, she is left alone, sitting on the bench she officially calls Property of Loners, or busying herself inside the house.

If it isn’t for Hyemin again who visits her house one day, Hyuna won’t have noticed what’s already happening outside. The past few days after realizing again that nobody will actually take time to appreciate her presence when she’s out (and when her cousin is around,) Hyuna has confined herself inside the four walls she calls home because there is nothing worth going out for when her friends are busy with their own things.

“Unni!”

Startled, she closes her book abruptly, forgetting to bookmark that page she is reading, “Can’t you knock first?”

“Can’t! It’s urgent!”
“Huh?”

“Hyunjoo unni seems to be getting pretty well along with him!”
“Yeah I know, it’s not my business. Besides, Hyunjoo told me that she’s not going to—”
“Oh yeah?” Hyemin cuts her right there.
“Oh, yes!” Hyuna assures.

“Well then, look outside!”

When Hyuna does, she sees the most unpleasant thing she can see for the rest of her life. It makes her want to puke, her insides suddenly melting into soft mush that soon, she can collapse. It is as if someone has turned her into a being whose soul has left for somewhere else. Hyuna feels empty for a while. Seeing those two who appear so tooth-achingly sweet together makes her want to hit the wall with her head or slit with a knife.

“How dare you,” she says under her breath. Hyemin would have laughed her off but then she decides to just keep it all inside, and leaves Hyuna there in her place to join the others outside to talk about something she has successfully accomplished.

Hyuna is quickly caught spying from the window by her cousin and when she notices this, he actually winks at her. Then he nudges Hyunjoo, who is eating an ice cream with him, to look at her direction. Her friend waves at her and gestures something Hyuna can’t surely tell what.

And then there is this suffocating sensation she feels again while watching them. Hyuna does not want to continue staring at that street far across, where two people can be found eating desserts together, but she somehow feels that she has to. There is something that pushes her to do things she doesn’t really have (want) to do. Seconds after seconds she does, the weight in her chest becomes heavier to the point that she can no longer take it – looking at the sight she doesn’t even want to peek at – that she just sinks into the couch she has been kneeling on.

“How dare you,” unaddressed, she tells. She doesn’t really know who to blame, her cousin or her friend. Hyuna will likely prefer the former.

“Well, it’s none of my business,” she quickly remembers and then turns on the television to drive her mind away from the thought. “Let them be.” She sure has nothing to do with it, so why should she care?

Though, honestly, deep inside, there are these invisible needles poking her here and there, reminding her that she actually does care about it.

Inattentively punching buttons of the remote control, Hyuna might have forgotten about the time, she forgets to close the portal to her place that when somebody actually barges in, she is plainly surprised.

“How did you get in?” quickly rising from her couch, she asks.
“The gate is open,” her guest pointed outside. “But I closed it for a while. I’ll leave it to you later when I leave.”
“A-alright”

Hyuna is quite amazed at how natural Hyunjoo can be despite the fact that she’s trying to hit on her cousin. Hyunjoo acts coolly, as if nothing is actually happening. Hyuna wonders why her friend visits her that night, but she can’t even guess anything but the idea that Hyunjoo is just there to ask things about her cousin.

Hyuna thinks she is a hundred percent correct with her hypothesis.

“Chocolates?” Hyuna is not quite astonished to see her friend already digging stuff inside her fridge but she has just been startled from thinking that she shrieked a little.

“Alright, alright. I won’t eat this pack,” sensing that Hyuna does not allow anyone eating that bag of sweets, Hyunjoo resorts to grabbing that bag of marshmallows instead. Then she goes to the same couch where Hyuna sits and lays the bag on its owner’s lap. “I can eat that, right?”

Hyuna grumbles and grunts things to herself but she tears the pack and hands it to her friend. Hyunjoo thanks her with a smile that brings chills somewhere in Hyuna.

“Say, Hyuna unni,” Hyunjoo grabs a handful and shoves it into . “Wha-uyuti-sh a shisha-ting nguyu?”

Addled, Hyuna can only say, “What?”

“A-he…” Hyunjoo swallows what’s in before continuing, “Ah, never mind. I don’t think you care anyway.”

It is true that she will not care as long as it is not about her—not her thing, but her friend fails to mention about that to her; now Hyuna’s subconscious forces her to ask if she’s somehow connected to whatever Hyunjoo wants to tell her (because deep inside, she thinks that she is.)

After abstracting for quite some time has she come to a decision that she should ask about it, but even before Hyuna can mumble a thing, Hyunjoo stops her—not by words, but by actions. When Hyuna opens , her friend finds this instance to shoot a marshmallow on that part. It can almost kill Hyuna; but Hyunjoo is just sitting there, laughing while somebody struggles for air.

“Alright, here ya go.” Hyuna takes that glass of water Hyunjoo hands her. “I’m sorry. You weren’t speaking for minutes and you’re just staring at the marshmallows! I thought you’d like to try one”

Hyuna glares at her, very disdaining, she thinks. “You know I don’t eat that,” she proclaims, if ever her friend has forgotten that Hyuna doesn’t actually eat sweets. Hyunjoo offers her more of the soft thing for a peace offering though.

“So?” Hyunjoo actually does not abide to this fact; she quickly puts another in Hyuna’s mouth when she refused the offer. She did it in a way her friend won’t choke again. Hyuna accepts her friend’s apology unwillingly.

When Hyuna takes another one, Hyunjoo smiles. “Seriously, what’s the point of keeping stocks of these if you won’t eat ‘em?”

“What’re those chocolates in your fridge for?”
“Wait, are you giving chocolates to someone without me knowing?!”

Hyuna laughs, “Hell, no!”

Hyunjoo raises an eyebrow.

They are actually for someone special, Hyuna tells her. “You know, like visitors, in case I have some people coming. Remember how I got a lot of younger cousins? They’re for them.”

Hyunjoo whines that she, too, is a visitor for the night and why doesn’t Hyuna give her at least one bar? Hyunjoo really likes chocolate and it’s saddening how her friend knows this and doesn’t actually give her one (when she has a lot.)

A visitor is someone who comes once in a while, not every three days or so-so, Hyuna responds to her tantrums. And, the fact that Hyunjoo lives just blocks away doesn’t make her a visitor in that place.

“Personal biases. Tch.” Hyunjoo furrows her eyebrows, “Hate it.”

“Ugh, fine. Get one if it pleases you”

Hyunjoo smirks in victory. She leaps to the direction of Hyuna’s fridge whilst the owner distracts herself by watching the television again. When her friend comes back, she asks Hyuna a rather discomposing question for that night.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have your first kiss while you eat dessert? Like this one—chocolate? It makes the whole thing literally sweet.”

Bemused, Hyuna can’t find the right metaphor of the thing that circulates in her mind. Dessert? Wasn’t Hyunjoo eating dessert just few moments back? When she was with this person Hyuna hates? Is this kind of discussion leading to his cousin? Did she just give her a connotation that she kissed Hyuna’s cousin a while back? Of course, Hyuna can’t just jump to conclusions like that, so, she says, “I guess.”

“Why, have you ever tried that before?” Hyunjoo strikes again.

Even puzzled than she already is, Hyuna shouts no. Why such insult is being thrown at her? Shouldn’t she be the one asking Hyunjoo if she has ever tried that before? Because the possibility of her doing that is too high?

“Chill, alright. Look! You’re turning red!” Hyunjoo pokes fun at her when she takes notice of Hyuna’s fuming. “You wanna try it though?”
For someone who hates sweets (and desserts in general), Hyuna shouts again, “No!”
“Well… I want to—” Hyunjoo plays with that chocolate on her lips.

Hyuna snorts and looks at the clock; she tells Hyunjoo that it is already past ten and she should go home because Hyuna is too sleepy to even talk about random stuff that she knows will just end up being a talk about her cousin.

Why can’t Hyunjoo just tell her straight to the face that she likes her cousin and that she has finally hit on him? She can’t take back the words she told her before, Hyuna won’t mind (because—her cousin and Hyunjoo’s supposed relationship—it surely isn’t her thing.) She can go marry her cousin anytime she wants if they happen to like each other (it’s not Hyuna’s thing anymore.)

“Uhh, such kill joy. Fine. I’ll go home!”

Before Hyunjoo leaves her, she pecks Hyuna’s cheeks, leaving stains right there.

“HEY!” Since Hyunjoo has run away that quick, Hyuna doesn’t go after her. She's too weak to even stand up. Something has just absorbed all the energy in her. She has been pondering about something for the moment.

Hyunjoo is really weird. Hyuna wonders how her cousin even manages to like someone like her.

*

Sometime after, Hyuna talks to her cousin like how relatives should do. She’s so worried about her friend and her little cousin for a while; bothered she is when she watches how those subtle touches turn to holding of hands, those talks turn into whispers no audience will hear. There is something going on, and nobody tells her about it. Hyemin hasn’t even gone to her in a while for a report of things going farther than they should be.

“Hey”
“Noona, sup? I’ve been wanting to talk to you!”
“Really? Well, me too!” Hyuna wants to keep the conversation short. Looking at her cousin is just something she can’t do for long.
“Wow what a coincide—”
“Are you in a relationship with Hyunjoo?”

And Hyuna suddenly bursts just like that. All these feelings and worries bottled for so long suddenly explode. She can no longer contain herself. She doesn’t like the feeling of being stuffed up. She wants to know the truth, now, right now.

“What?” her cousin laughs; she squints at him. She’s mad, he can tell. “No!”

“Of course no!”

“Well, if you guys are trying to get into one, just tell me so I can stop worrying about you two!”
“What? No! I don’t even, I—”
“I swear, Jinyoung! If you ever make her cry!” warns she before marching out of his sight.

“What the hell!” Jinyoung laughs at himself as she picks his phone for an incoming call. “Hey babe, sorry I wasn’t able to pick your call earlier, my cousin just went. You know—Hyuna noona.”

“Well, she thinks that I’m going to steal someone she likes when I got you!”

“Aw come on, Eyoung! You know how much I just want to help Hyuna noona after causing a big trauma to her few years back.”

“Eh. She’s such a thick-headed person for Hyunjoo noona! Seriously! Those two can just star in a movie already!”

*

Meanwhile, when Hyuna is out, a friend comes to her.

“Hey unni, I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Hyuna smiles at her, “Been busy…”

“I got you a new book.” When Hyuna takes the gift, she sees that it’s actually the latest book her favorite author has written. “Bomi! I love you so much!”

Bomi is such a sweet child. Among Hyuna’s friends, she’s the only one who stops by her house to give her something to read. They are both bookworms and she can’t stop hugging when it’s something she totally likes that Bomi gives her.

“Wow, you two. Uhh,” Hyunjoo pops into the scene. “I didn’t ruin the sweet moment, right?” Bomi and Hyuna shake their heads. “Can I sit here?” She pointed at the area next to Hyuna where nobody sits.

Bomi smiles at Hyunjoo but Hyunjoo hisses at Bomi.

The ambience is fairly normal for any of them, but only Bomi and Hyuna talk to one another, discussing about that book and what expectations Hyuna can have before reading. Whenever Bomi overlooks Hyuna as they speak, she stops and mows for a second; but when Hyuna looks behind her, she sees Hyunjoo smiling brightly at them. She’s actually listening.

They only end the conversation when they notice that Hyunjoo has gone some place else and when they find out where she has been, Hyuna grasps the book which almost rips Bomi’s heart into tiny pieces.

“Unni!!! That’s a new book! You haven’t read that yet! Please don’t destroy it!”

Noticing what she has actually done, Hyuna apologizes. It isn’t her fault. Her stupid subconscious made her do that when she saw Hyunjoo with her cousin again, laughing together.

“Well…” Bomi has something in mind but has no courage to tell. Her face just forms a smug.

*

For days, Hyuna is bothered (as usual). She knows pretty well how their relationship is out of her league but there’s this something that provokes her to stop the two from getting into such thing. She shouldn’t care but she feels that there is simply something wrong going on. She doesn’t want her friend in the family like that. It’s something that will hurt her when it happens. She is afraid that it is happening.

She doesn’t want it to happen.

For days has she been dropping by next door just to ask her cousin if there’s something going on. He will always tell her that nothing is going on; but whenever Hyuna is outside or peeking from the window, when both of them are out, all she sees are their tooth-achingly sweet gestures to one another. It pains something beneath her chest and Hyuna does not really know why.

“I swear, noona! Nothing is going on, alright! Now sleep. I think you haven’t had enough sleep for the past few days worrying about me and Hyunjoo noona!”

Her cousin is right. Worrying about something that does not exist (as of the moment) will just cause her already swollen eyes (of sleepless nights due to reading) to swell even more. She walks out of her cousin’s house and heads back home. On the way, she sees Hyunjoo.

“Hey!”
“Hey, Hyunjoo!” Hyuna doesn’t even have the spirit to talk to her. She’s already tired.
“Something happened?”
Hyuna waves her hand, “Oh, you know!” The rest of the sentence, Hyunjoo failed to hear because Hyuna just murmurs words to herself.

Instead of sleeping like what her cousin suggested, Hyuna ends up reading a book and it is not helping. Useless, vexing—the story is about a woman who met a cousin of her friend and they fall desperately in love with each other but they kept their relationship hidden. In the end, they were together and lived happily ever after.

She terribly fights the cause that makes her want to go out of the house to check out those two people. Hearing them talk about their relationship – that they are merely friends – is not a strong proof for Hyuna when there are some stronger points (like holding hands) that can reciprocate their claim.

She tries to dust it off but ends up staring at the ceiling, imagining things. She tries to eat as well but her appetite is lost halfway before she can even finish her dinner. She tries to read again but the book she has is another love-story, she doesn’t even want one right now. And so, after minutes of meditating, she finds herself in front of the place where her cousin stays.

“Hey, Trin. Is your brother around?”
“Yes, unni! He’s upstairs with your friend.”
“My friend?” she asks Trinity.
“Yeah, Hyunjoo unni… She’s your friend right?”

She knows it. They are secretly in a relationship! And she can finally have that ease of mind she wants when she catches them on act.

Hyuna cautiously makes her way up to the floor where both Hyunjoo and her cousin are; she doesn’t want the two of them to know that she is actually inside the house.

“Haha! Noona, seriously. You don’t have to be afraid. Why can’t you say it?”
“The fact that it might ruin my relationship with that person, plus the possibility that she can hate me for the rest of our lives—it is just so hard.”

“Well, I don’t mind. I already told you about what I know, and how I felt about it. Now, it’s your turn.”

Hyuna knows it.

“Okay, now let’s see if you can tell it to me now. Say those words.”

“Admit it. You have to say it”

If she is correct, she hears Hyunjoo’s sigh.

“Hmmm… okay”

“‘I like you, alright? No…maybe! Ugh, but I do, I like you! Ah, well, not really. No, wait! I mean—I think it’s something deeper than that…’”

“Ugh, just say the words already! Are you really like this when you’re in front of the person you like?”

“Not really but..uh… Alright… alright…”

Those words are things that Hyuna already knows and no longer wants to hear. She has confirmed by herself that those two are officially on a secret relationship. She can finally rest in peace – have that condition in mind where she no longer has to worry. So even before Hyunjoo can tell the rest of her confession, Hyuna goes downstairs and bids good-bye.

“Have you talked to them?”
“Uh, no Trin. They are busy confessing to one another.”
“Con-confessing?!”
“Yeah, I bet your brother will tell it to you soon. Don’t worry.”

That night again, Hyuna tries to sleep, knowing that she has finally acquired that peace of mind she wants. But she can’t due to this abnormal pounding beneath her chest yet again. For some reason, she wants to cry. For some reason, she wants to go back there. For some reason, she wants to change some things she has done in the past.

She lulls herself, tells herself that she doesn’t have to care about that anymore (she has no business about it.)

In the end, she decides that she has to shut herself inside the house permanently because everyone will have no time to talk to her anymore now that they have someone else to talk to.

Well, people can drop by her place if they want to talk to her. That is, if they really want to.

*

For days, nobody sees Hyuna on the streets again. Nobody has been caught reading a book while sitting on the bench outside.

One day, Bomi stops by her place and asks why she no longer goes out like she did before. Hyuna gladly lies about it, that everything out there has really nothing to do with her, her home is what all she cares for, is what all she needs. Wasn’t she always homebound before? It’s only when she gained friends like Hyunjoo that she let herself out.

Her little friend fears this thing that has happened (to them.)

“Has she told you anything on why she doesn’t go out anymore?”
“Uh, she says that ‘everything out there has really nothing to do with her,’ and I don’t know what she meant by that”

“You should go and talk to her…”
“I—I can’t you know. The last time I did it… It failed… I somehow feel weird with just the two of us…
“You should try it again then…”
“But!”
“All your efforts will be put to waste when you don’t”
“I’ll… I’ll try”

“I will”

Even her neighbors have realized that Hyuna no longer can be found outside. Her other neighboring cousins are also concerned about her state. It’s been months since she’s last seen outside. Is she still breathing? Has she gone crazy yet? (Wait, isn’t she already crazy?)

“Hyuna noona?!”

“Hyuna-ssi~?”

“She really lives here?”
“Yes”
“Alone? In this big house?”
“Yes.” he tells her. “That’s why we’re worried… you know. She’s always alone. It’s dangerous, don’t you think? I already might have gone crazy if I were her.”
“I doubt she’s crazier than Lizzy”
“She won’t” he laughs.

“Hyuna noona?”

“Hyuna noona?”

Hyuna thinks she has woken up to a dream, a very vivid one. She hears this voice coming from her front door and she knows it is Jinyoung who is calling her. When she opens the door though, it isn’t her cousin who greets her—it is Hyunjoo.

Still sleepy, she greets her friend, “Hey. Shouldn’t it be Jinyoung who’s supposed to be here?”

“W-what?”

“Never mind.” She fully understands that she is dreaming and her illusions are in control of her. “Nice work, brain!” she compliments herself for such a great work of her subconscious.

Hyunjoo laughs at Hyuna when she sees her talking to the sky, then she asks her if ever she was still okay.

“Aside from the fact that I actually am not? No.” Hyuna continues to rub her eyes.

“You’re…so cute.”

Hyuna stops her action to look at her friend intently. Hyunjoo is blushing, and when Hyuna makes an eye contact with her, she looks away. Hyuna wants to laugh, but she snorts instead. Hyunjoo takes a deep breath and braves herself to gaze at her friend.

 “Ah—” Hyunjoo’s unusual shrill cries confuse Hyuna; she never really have heard and seen her friend do anything like that before. It’s certainly her brain who does the thing called ‘imagining’.

Nice work, brain.

Hyunjoo bites her lips to calm down a bit, and then she holds Hyuna’s hand, “I have to tell you something”

“What?”

“Hyuna—”

“Hyuna…”

“HYUNA!” When nobody opens the door for this day’s visitor, Hyuna’s gates are roughly struck, her doorbell button is repeatedly pressed and the shouts of her name are becoming louder and louder in every mention. “Yah, you brat! Open the gate!”

Hyuna is sleeping that time and the banging of the gate is actually her alarm clock. She goes down, forgetting to fix herself (as the guest gets impatient as time goes by), and when she sees who actually has dropped by, she is surprised.

“Is that how you greet me? How dare!” her visitor slapped Hyuna’s face when she just yawned at her.

“Hey! Come in, Eunji!”

They sit on the couch, Hyuna across where Eunji is.

“Is this how you treat a visitor who came all the way from out there after years of no seeing-each-other?” Eunji pokes at the thing Hyuna calls food that she has just served to her guest.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t gone out for weeks and that’s just what I have in the fridge…”

Eunji lifts her fork, “…Ew”

“You have to go out and shop, and we will do it tomorrow afternoon, okay?”
“Ugh, please”
“Okay?!”
“Okay, fine, fine. Whatever”

If there’s someone who can push Hyuna to do something she doesn’t want, it’s Eunji. Back when they were young, Eunji made Hyuna do nasty stuff and it was a horrible experience. Good thing, she hasn’t seen her in a while, and nobody has to make her do things she doesn’t want to here and there. They are not that close to each other as cousins but she doesn’t hate Eunji that much as how Hyuna hates her other cousins. Why should she have such hateful cousins, anyway?

“Yah, what made you a princess stuck in your castle? There’s no witch to curse you though?”
“I don’t have anything to do outside. It’s just a waste of time to go there.”
“Big- liar. For all I know you are avoiding someone. Who’s it?”
“What? And what did you just call me?”
“Aw come on, Hyuna, as if we’re not cousins. We are a family! I know you, secret butterfly!”
“Calling me names won’t pique me”

Eunji hums then stares at Hyuna who seems to be sad for the moment. She sees through her cousin’s eyes. She knows there is something wrong but getting Hyuna to tell it is way harder than making her do other things, like going out of her house.

“Don’t tell me Jin has caused you another trouble?!”
Hyuna flinches and Eunji finally gets to know a point.

“What did he do this time?”
“He did nothing”

“Hyuna noona? Are you here? The gate is open so I went in. Is Eunji noona here, too?” Their cousin enters Hyuna’s place with a piece of cake in his hands. “Oh, there! I have this for you two.”

“Speak of the devil!” Eunji claps her hands. “What did you do to your Hyuna noona?”
“What? Me?” the only boy around points at himself and Eunji nods. “I don’t think I did anything, did I, Hyuna noona?”
“He did nothing,” Hyuna agrees.

“And oh! Hyuna noona!”Jinyoung casually sits on the couch next to her and whispers something. Eunji raises both eyebrows. “Have you talked to Hyunjoo noona for a while?”
Not recalling any encounters with her dear friend recently, Hyuna shakes her head.
“Has she ever dropped by your place?”
“Jin, I can hear you from here. What ‘s the point of whispering?”

Jinyoung turns his direction to Eunji who is now eating the cake, “Haha, I'll tell you about it later when we go home.” He shifts back to Hyuna, “So, has she?”
“No.”

It seems like Jinyoung is confused and seeing him like that puzzles Hyuna (and Eunji who has completely no idea about anything.)

Eunji snaps and asks if anyone else in the house wants the cake because obviously, she is finishing the dessert by herself. Jinyoung says that the cake is for them but Hyuna tells that she doesn’t eat sweets so Eunji can have it all. Soon after, Eunji and Jinyoung leave Hyuna.

“Don’t forget about our agenda tomorrow!”
“Yeah right” Hyuna tells her cousin before finally closing the gates.

“So…what’s it that you have to tell me a while back?”
“Can’t you wait when we reach home, noona?”

*

“So, you like her?”
A nod.
“But… you can’t tell her?”
A sigh, followed by a nod.
“Geez, what the hell is happening uck—when I just got back! Okay…”

“I think that’s no huge problem, seriously.”
“Noona! Weren’t you listening? Noona doesn’t even go outside anymore!! We can’t help them if it’s like that!”
“God, I just had her set to a little out-of-her-house duty tomorrow. We will shop for food. She will definitely go out or I’ll drag her on streets. After that, we will leave you with her and you can let your heart out!”
"You do?”
“Yes we do and oh, by the way… You are?”
“I’m Hyunjoo.”
“Hyunjoo, so Hyunjoo…wait, what? Hyunjoo?”
“Yes I’m Hyunjoo.”
“I thought Hyunjoo was a man?!!!”
“I thought so, too!”
“What? But I’m a woman!”

“Wait, we have another problem!”
”She can’t even get her to the point she wants to tell her!”
“Huh? So you’ve done it before?”
“Twice”
“Yeah, but both failed. On the first time, skipped the most important part and directly went on with the chocolate thingy and she got sent out.”
“And he laughed at me when I told him about it.”
“THEIR PLAN . Teach them how to do an effective one, Eunji unni.”

“Alright guys, I have an idea.”

“It’s time for Project Chocolate Ice Cream”

The next day, Hyuna prepares herself for the shopping. She looks at what’s inside her fridge. There is nothing there but chocolates; she has been saving some for an occasion she doesn’t know when will happen. She wants to try one to know how the dessert tastes like because she hasn’t eaten one for years, but remembering embarrassing (and traumatic) things that happened in the past, she ends up shutting the fridge, and leaving the dessert alone and untouched in there.

“Ahuh, I thought I’d have Trinity or Jinyoung sent for you to go out,” Eunji admits when she actually sees Hyuna making her way to the house next door. The two of them write a list of things they have to buy and soon after, they leave the house for shopping.

Eunji grabs whatever she wants to buy. Hyuna, on the other hand, carefully deliberates to herself whether she really has to buy this thing or no; the shopping list they have written a while ago was thrown because the two of them cannot come up with something to buy when they have varying taste buds.

“Are you sure we have to buy all those?” Hyuna asks.
Eunji eyes her, “God, for your sake, Hyuna, I am buying all these! Don’t you know how much weight you’ve lost over the years?”

Hyuna ponders for a moment. The last time Eunji has seen her (removing yesterday from the choices,) was back when both of them were in high school. She surely would have lost a lot of weight after that. Eunji’s argument is plainly absurd, she tells her cousin.

“Whatever, just eat those up.”

When they are about to go to the counter, Hyuna slows down when she passes by the freezer and stares at it.

“Just get one if you want,” Eunji says.
“Nah, I’m not buyin—”
“Grab two, I demand.”

Hyuna grunts; nevertheless, she does what Eunji tells her and grabs two tubs of it. She picked chocolate flavored ones. Eunji smiled.

“Geez, I know you’ve been dying to try that.”
“I won’t eat it. I just remembered how kids are supposed to like chocolates and—”
“Hyuna, those are made by companies! They aren’t made by Jinyoung anymore! There’s no cow poop in there so you are sure that you are really going to eat chocolate, okay?”
“Still, not eating. I’m giving them to kids.”
“Please,” Eunji drawls. “I’ll make you eat one later”
“NO!”

The two of them comes back when the sun is setting. Hyuna and Eunji are surprised by Trinity and Jinyoung who is with one person Hyuna hasn’t seen in a while—Hyunjoo.

“Hey there,” Hyuna greets while opening her gate. She gives her things to Trinity and tells Jinyoung to hand her the key she has given him a while back.

She has just ignored her friend.

“Hey Hyuna noona, can we like… have a talk… together?”
“What about?”
“Uh, Hyunjoo noona and I have something to tell you,” Jinyoung says.

Hyuna looks at the two of them and gives Trinity her keys. She doesn’t look so surprised about it because she knows about the thing few months back. She is glad though, that finally, the two of them will break out of their shells.

“About that? Oh yes, I know about it.” She grabs the door knob and is just about to twist it when Jinyoung shouts in disbelief.
“YOU DO?”
“Oh yes, I do,” she looks back at them again. Hyunjoo is pale and hasn’t spoken the whole time she is with them. Trinity and Eunji stand side by side as they carry the bags of grocery.
“How did you know?” he jumps. “Hyunjoo noona! You told me she has fallen asleep when you told her about that?!”
Hyunjoo shrugs her shoulders and then speaks for the first time, “I’m sure that she has when I did…”

“Kids, can we… talk about this inside?” Eunji cuts them. “These things are quite heavy you know—”

*

Hyuna sits on the couch. Jinyoung and Hyunjoo are across her. Trinity and Eunji are busy stuffing the food into Hyuna’s fridge.

“So, you really know about it already?”
Hyuna nods. She looks at the two of them, but she can’t keep her stare at Jinyoung so she focuses on her friend instead, “Look, why hide a secret from me? I already know where this is leading…”
A tinge of pink creeps in Hyunjoo’s face, “Be-because I thought you might hate me instead…”

“I won’t”

“You don’t know how much Hyunjoo noona was so worried about you when you don’t go outside anymore! I, too, was so worried!  You should have told us, at least, that you knew about it so we didn’t have to over-think and device weird plans!”

Hyuna laughs, “Please! I’m not stupid not to know that you guys are in a relationship!”
“Yeah I know—wait, what?!” Jinyoung clarifies what he has heard, “A relationship?!”

“Come on, Jinyoung! As if I haven’t heard you confessing feelings for each other one night!”

“I told you so, oppa!” Trinity shouts from the kitchen. “But you won’t believe me! I told you! You went wrong in there!”
Jinyoung can’t believe this, Hyunjoo too. Only Hyuna seems to have the pieces of the puzzle altogether.

“Wait, we’re not even in a relationship!”
“Please! I’ve seen you couple of times doing…” Hyuna rolls eyes as she says, “things together.”
“What?! What? Wait, when?” Jinyoung and Hyunjoo look at each other, both confused.
“When I sneak through my window.”

“Aish,” Jinyoung scratches his nape. He doesn’t know where to start or who should start doing the talking. But, he repeats himself in case Hyuna doesn’t want to believe, because she has the pieces of the wrong puzzle.

“We’re not in a relationship because I already have a girlfriend! And she’s not Hyunjoo noona!”

Trinity and Eunji are back from the kitchen and they support this revelation by their relative.

“Yep, oppa has. He even brought her here one time. Jinyoung oppa wanted her to meet you, Hyuna unni, but you were sleeping that time, I guess. They couldn’t wake you up from outside,” Trinity tells her.

Hyuna tilts her head, so she wasn’t really dreaming before. Now, she’s the one confused, “So what are we supposed to talk about in here?”

Everybody looks at each other. Jinyoung shrugs his shoulder and his little sister smacks him on his head. Eunji whispers something to Hyunjoo and right after she goes near Hyuna and sticks a spoon of chocolate ice cream to .

“Hey! What’s this?”
“The ice cream we just bought,” Eunji tells her. “Believe me, you’ll need that later when Hyunjoo tells you something”

Hyuna turns to Hyunjoo, “What’s this you have to tell me?”

“Uh…” Hyunjoo looks at everyone else aside from Hyuna. She is trembling. “Help me…”

Eunji murmurs things to Hyuna but then after, she proclaims that she will leave the explanation to Hyunjoo.

“Okay guys. Our part is job here! It’s no longer our business!”
“Hey!”
“You! Stay right here and explain everything or you’re going to miss this chance for the rest of your life!” she shouts at Hyunjoo. “And you!” she turns to Hyuna. “You eat that thing or I’ll give you real chocolate-looking cow poops to eat!”

Both Hyuna and Hyunjoo are under the control of Eunji, all they can do is to follow her orders.

When the rest left them alone inside the house, everything seems so odd – so unusual. They aren’t like this before. They used to be sitting together, cuddling while watching television or Hyuna was reading a book with Hyunjoo resting on her lap. Everything this time is different. It feels awkward. Time has made this, lack of communication, too. Misinterpretation is one to be blamed as well. This is the effect on their friendship.

Hyuna thinks of it for a while. Where did she go wrong and why Hyunjoo and Jinyoung didn’t end up the way they should be, like the one in the book she has read before? Aren’t they supposed to be in a secret relationship or something?

“Hey… uh… Hyunjoo.. I should’ve listened to you when you told me you didn’t like my cousin. Now it feels a lil awkward after I’ve got everything wrong.”

Hyunjoo heaves a sigh, “I remember telling you that I’m not gonna hit on him… because I don’t want to be a part of your family in that way…”

“I know! I should’ve believed! I was sort of worried when you two were getting so close to one another and you forget that I actually exist just right in one corner…errr…” Hyuna takes one scoop from the ice cream tub and shoves it into .

“I think I was just jealous.”

There, there. Hyuna finally says it. Hyuna has finally said what she has been feeling—the reason why she is usually stuffed whenever she sees these two people together, why she is always worried about the two of them, why she thinks it is her business to do so.

“You can’t blame me though!” As she takes another spoon, she confesses to Hyunjoo, “Seeing you… together… hurts me here,” she points somewhere on her chest.

“Y-you got jealous?”

Hyuna nods and Hyunjoo suddenly draws near her, making her diffident. Hyuna has never seen Hyunjoo the past days and she just realized that she might have missed her – her scent, her face, her smile… Hyunjoo’s beautiful smile – when she feels glad that she’s with her, just the two of them together.

Hyuna doesn’t want to admit that she feels so happy by just looking at her dear friend’s smile because she doesn’t even know why she feels like that in the first place.

For Hyuna, it’s so intrinsic when it comes to Hyunjoo.

But then she suddenly feels weird when Hyunjoo drapes an arm around her waist; she drops the tub on her lap that she flinched at the contact of the cold thing to her bare thighs.

Hyunjoo apologizes, “I’m sorry… I couldn’t help myself.” Then she detaches herself and moves a little away from Hyuna.

“You’re…so cute”

Hyuna looks at her friend, her eyes wide in disbelief. She has seen this thing happening before: Hyunjoo blushing and looking away whenever she makes an eye contact with her, Hyunjoo whining and blabbing things. She just didn’t know that Hyunjoo could (and would) do those actions for real.

“You’re just so cute okay, I couldn’t help it. Ugh! Please, can you just—Hyuna you’re… arrgh”

Hyuna laughs at Hyunjoo whose face is cover with her hands.

“I’m too embarrassed, I can’t show you my face! I can’t even tell it to you straight to the point!”

Hyuna continues to chortle as she places the tub down to the table and removes those barriers keeping her from seeing her friend’s face. “It’s alright! I’ve seen you do those weird stuff before. What’s it you have to tell me, anyway?”

“Before?”Hyunjoo looks at her in the eyes.

“Yeah, in my dream.”Hyunjoo balks but Hyuna goes on with the her words, “It kind of feels weird though; in my dream, there’s also something that you have to tell me”

Hyunjoo snaps and smiles, “What did I tell you there?”

Hyuna hums. Hyunjoo grabs the spoon on the table and takes a spoon of the chocolate thing while waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know… I forgot… I don’t think I’ve heard it”

“Psh…” Hyunjoo feeds her friend with the spoon she has, and this time, Hyuna doesn’t protest about it because she is sure that it is real chocolate ice cream she is eating. “You really fell deep asleep, didn’t you?”

“Aright, let me tell you again.”

Hyunjoo soughs for a while, her breaths audible in the air; Hyuna looks at the container on her friend’s lap where the ice cream slowly, slowly melted. She doesn’t regret having one because it is real (contrary to what she has eaten years back that caused her extreme trauma of eating chocolates and desserts in general) and she doesn’t regret having one because she is eating it with Hyunjoo.

Hyunjoo finally tells Hyuna words she hasn’t heard and isn’t expecting to hear coming from her.

“Huh?” Hyuna shuffles from place to place, in the end, she goes near her friend who is just smiling at her.

“You’re so cute when you’re confused!”

“Wait, I don’t understand, can you say it again?”

“I don’t want to repeat it!” Hyunjoo complains. “I’ve already told you this twice! And you still don’t understand?”

“But—Hyunjoo!”

Hyunjoo grabs her face using both hands, gently shakes it as she begs for her to listen carefully before repeating herself to Hyuna, “I. LOVE. YOU.”

Hyuna bites her lip. Hyuna puffs her cheeks. Hyuna coos, “Cool… like this ice cream.” She doesn't really know what to say to her friend this time, but Hyunjoo pretty knows what Hyuna’s heart wants to tell her that she just grins at her.

Hyunjoo suddenly has one idea in mind, “Do you still remember the thing I asked you before about desserts?”

Hyuna shakes her head. Hyunjoo can’t believe her friend has such poor memory (and hearing and understanding and everything.)

“I’ll repeat this for the last time”

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have your first kiss while you eat dessert? Because… it literally makes everything sweet?”

“A—I don’t know, why did you ask?” Hyuna blinks.

“How about trying it now?”

Hyuna doesn’t really know if her fear of eating chocolates is back or it’s just Hyunjoo that makesher feel such tingling sensations inside when she catches her off-guard and their lips finally meet for that sweet kiss.

-

ps done last 021314, this was initially 17pp long then i did it again for 15pp but after that... this happened (20pp long) i'm crying. thanks for reading. 

i marked this complete but there's an addtl chapter entitled Jinyoung's story, where everything that happened here is told in his point of view.