I bolted from the classroom, away from the chanting and laughing.  I looked down, my eyes drowning in a sea of emotion. I felt tears begin to pinch my eyes as my cheeks began to burn, but still I forced myself forward.

‘Don’t let them see you’

‘Don’t let them see you weakened,

Weakened by their remarks.’

‘Stay strong’, I think, but it’s too late.

By the time I reach an empty washroom tears are streaming freely down my face.  I can't stand anymore, I feel so weak. My hands shake, my breathing begins to quicken. Without warning, my legs give out and I collapse into an empty stall. Sobs continue to rack my body as all the pent up emotion inside of me escapes in a rush.  

I hate when I cry.

I hate when I’m scared.

Every day I wake up with regret, all I want to do is forget the days we spent together; the laughs, the smiles. I tried to tell myself you aren’t the same person you used to be, but yet, a part of me wishes you were. A part of me holds onto the memories we made together, the days we spent together. A part of me still refuses to believe you’ve changed; refuses to believe you’ve become the monster you are today.

It's not just the hitting and punching, it's the words you say.

They hurt so much.

I put on a fake smile and pretend I’m okay, but I’m so sick of playing strong, sick of playing tough.

I hate what you did to me, what you took from me.

I hate that it was you who did it.

I drew a deep shaky breath, my tears stopping . I fought to regain my breath that I had previously lost to the countless sobs that had escaped my lips. With shaky legs, I rose to my feet, stumbling over to the mirror. The silence of the washroom rang in my ears. It surrounded me in a rush. Still I stared across at my reflection, dead stiff.

Hollow, broken eyes stared right back at me.

Without any warning, I turned, my hands reaching into my bag, my numbness controlling me.

Never again would your words hurt me.

Never again.

A click echoed around the washroom.

The sound of a gun being unlocked.

I lifted my gaze to stare back at myself in the mirror. This time the image was different though. This time, a small black hand-gun was pressed to the side of my head, shaky fingers placed over the trigger.

Fear bubbled up inside of me, but still I told myself this was for the best.

Abomination.

.

Freak.

Eyesore.

Disgrace.

’s like you don’t deserve to live.

I didn’t deserve to live. So why was I hesitating?

 No one would miss me.

I didn’t deserve to live.

I knew no one would ever understand…why I would want my death.

But they haven’t experienced pain like I have. Of course they wouldn’t understand. Only when I was no longer breathing would the pain stop.

‘C’mon Taemin. Kill yourself. This is what you want isn’t it, what everyone wants? What Minho wants?’

The voice echoed through my head. I screwed my eyes shut, tears once again escaping, despite me trying to hold them back. I drew a deep shaky breath, and with trembling hands, slowly tightened my grip on the trigger.

‘That’s it, just a bit more.’ The voice soothed, and I allowed myself to relax. ‘Just a bit more and all your pain and suffering will end.’

I nodded.

This would all end today.

I gasped as I was thrown to the ground, something heavy landing on top of me, and the gun flying out of my grip. A heavy punch landed on my face, and I gasped.

“What the Taemin?”

I knew that voice.

My eyes flew open to stare at the livid face that had previously belonged to my greatest companion, but now was the source of all my troubles.

Anger welled up inside me as he continued to stare down at me.

This was his fault.

Everything was his fault.

He was the reason I was so broken.

He was the reason I felt the need to kill myself.

“Get. Off. Me.” I spat, using all my strength to shove him off my chest. I quickly rushed to my feet, my eyes searching the washroom floor. I needed that gun. I needed to make it end.

I froze as I saw the gun in his grip. He rose to his feet, eyes narrowed, and mouth drawn in a straight line. “Why Taemin? Why would you try to kill yourself?”

Was he serious?

After all all the pain, and hurt he put me through these past few years, was he actually talking to me as if he wasn’t the reason I cried myself to sleep every single night?

"How dare you!”  I spat, my emotions taking over. "Why Minho? I’ll ing tell you why! You are the reason why. You are why I tried to kill myself! This is your fault. Now give me the gun.”

“No.” You spoke. Voice icily calm.

A gasp escaped your lips as my fist connected with the side of your face, quickly followed by another and another. A second later you tackled me and we rolled on the ground for a few seconds before you pinned me to the cement.

“Why Minho?” I glared, tears welling up in my eyes. I knew how pathetic I must have looked to you right there, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not with freedom so close to me. Freedom from this world of pain I was trapped in.. “What did I do to deserve this? W-Why do you h-hate me so much? Why won’t you let me end it? I can’t….I can’t do this anymore. Please, just kill me. Please.”

(Minho’s POV)

It killed me inside to see you so broken, so helpless, and then to realise it was my fault you were like this.  

I couldn’t believe it.

Had I caused this?

Was this really my fault?

Tears slowly crept into my eyes as you continued to lie there, begging me to end it.

My hand the gun’s trigger, and with slow hesitant fingers lifted it up until it was pointing right at you.

I could feel the way you stiffened underneath me and thoughts of us when we were younger flashed through my head.

Us as children.

Us smiling.

Us laughing.

Us enjoying every second of our lives.

Those memories quickly shifted to you on the ground, blood flowing freely from the cuts inflicted on your arms and legs. Bruises covered almost every inch of your skin.

I remembered that day.

We had destroyed you.

Broken you.

Yet you remained silent.

You never turned us in.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as you grabbed my shirt.

“Please Minho. Kill me. You owe me that much,” You whisper, voice cracking.

It breaks me inside. We used to be the best of friends, now look at us.

 I was a monster.

I was the one who deserved to die.

Yet, it was you underneath me, begging for me to end your pain, to end your suffering.

My grip on the gun tightened, and before anyone could blink a gun-shot rang throughout the washroom.

The body beneath me froze.

Silence.

It echoed around the washroom and still, no one moved.

I rose to my feet throwing the gun in the trash bin.  I glanced down at my feet, tears falling from my eyes. I heard feet approaching me from behind, hands spinning me around.

I didn’t speak as a slap was delivered to my face. My head was whipped to the side. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, unable to say anything else.

“Why Minho? Why do you make my life miserable, but then when I try to end it, you stop me? Tell me, why?” I looked up at you tear stained face, then to the wall behind you; a bullet hole right beside where your head had been seconds earlier. I can hear the desperation in your voice as you ask me, yet I have no answer.

Why.

That was the question I was asking myself.

I tried to tell myself that I had a good reason for it all. That this was all part of some grand scheme I had thought up.

But it wasn’t.

This was me denying my feelings.

This was me acting like a child.

And it needed to stop.

“I love you Taemin,” I whisper, and I can clearly see the disbelief in your eyes as you stare at me. ”I guess I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

“You mean to tell me you made my life hell for two years because you love me?” I nodded.

 I knew you were disgusted. I knew you hated me for this.

 I would hate me too.

I walked forward, wrapping my arms around you until your face was pressed against my chest. You didn’t push me away, which I was thankful for. It felt nice to hold you again after all these years. I could feel your tears soaking through my shirt, but still I didn’t move.

“I’m so sorry,” I murmured, tightening my arms around you.

“Minho….”You voice causes me to look down and I freeze, your lips connecting with mine.

Once my shock wore off I deepened the kiss. Your lips were soft. Exactly how I had always imagined them. We broke apart at the same time, our eyes connecting.

“Please forgive me,” I beg, even though I know you could never fully forget the torment I put you through for two years.

You nod and instantly I feel relief sweep over me.

“I promise, I’ll make everything up to you,” I love the way you smile at my words, as if we were once again the best of friends.

“I believe you,” He utters softly, and once again his lips connected with mine, this time more heated then the last.

I know he could never fully forget everything.

But just maybe.

If he lets me.

I could make it up to him. I could become the friend that I should have been.

“I love you,” I gasp, breaking the kiss.

“I love you too.” Taemin whisper's.

A/N

I'm actually really sorry, because I feel like this isn't the way you pictured this. I still hope you enjoyed readin it though ^.^

Please comment if you liked it and upvote!