And Another Thing!
Ranting & RavingAnd Another Thing!
(Or several other things)
First, and foremost,
Cursing
Just ing do it.
That is all.
Dialogue . . . again
Aside from your very engaging plot, your dialogue is the next hardest thing to write. The only thing I can say about it is, act natural. Before you put the end quote, ask yourself, is this something I would say? And if you aren't sure, read it aloud. If it sounds funny to you, it looks funnier to your readers.
I hate melodramatic dialogue. What do I mean? This;
'“I am so sorry, jagiyah. You have no idea how deeply sorry I am. It's all my fault that you're lying here, dying, and I’m not. It is not fair that you are the one facing this horrible demise while I get to continue on with my life.”'
. . . . . . seriously?
I'm sorry, but if you're at your lovers' deathbed, you will not be able to string together the phrase, 'It is not fair that you are the one facing this horrible demise while I get to continue on with my life.' It sounds unnatural.
Use your contractions. Can't, don't, wouldn't, aren't. People say them. Feel free to use them.
Hostage Takers
This ties in with the 'Story Length' section of my last rant. How many of you have read 'I won't update unless I get at least ten
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