A/N: italics=  characters thoughts

2009

     "How about sharing something personal?" the host asked. "Romance is always a hot topic." 

     Taeyeon would always feel a bit uneasy when she is asked a personal question. Contrary to what the media thought, Taeyeon was never interested in the opposite . Her first crush was with a girl in elementary school, whom she serenaded through song. Her first kiss was with a close female friend during middle school. Yet if Kim Taeyeon was leading a normal life, she would've came out of the closet in a heart beat. Her family were open-minded people and were okay with same- relationships. During pre-debut, she even stated in an interview that she was okay with same- love.

     Things changed because now she was a member of Girls' Generation, a Kpop group that was growing in popularity. Now she had to think twice before she would answer a question. Now she had other people to keep in mind of. Eight other people's lives were intertwined with hers. Whatever she would say could affect the way people viewed the group. Now she had no choice but to hide further into the closet. She would not regret it though. She was okay with hiding because she had come to care and love her fellow group members. 

     But no one in their right mind can control their feelings. And before Taeyeon could understand what was happening, she began to notice one group member differently. She began to fall in love. She knew it from the way she felt around her. The way she would stare in awe at her beauty. When holding her hand would make her heart beat faster. All she could think of now of was her and how she always wanted to be around her. How happy she can be just by her presence alone. Taeyeon would remind herself to control these feelings, to suppress them if need be. Easier said than done. 

     "Filming for Strong Heart in 30 minutes!"

     The sudden intervention bought Taeyeon back to earth. She stared at the blank chalk board. What could she write down? 

     I'm a lesbian and have these strong romantic feelings for Jung Sooyeon

     Taeyeon sighed. Yeah, can't write that down, obviously.

     15 minutes went by until she finally knew what to write down. She remembered the time an interviewer asked her if any male celebrities had confessed to her. 

     That would do, I guess.
-----

     "Out of the 14 male celebrities, did none of them move your heart?"

     Nope

     Then she remembered Jessica Jung. Someone who did move her heart. 

     She smiled, "Actually, there was."

     What did I just say?

     Taeyeon laughed nervously. 

     "There was only one," she continued. "Even though he had moved my heart, nothing happened in the end." 

     White lies.

     Jessica Jung moved my heart but I have to control these feelings

     I have to...

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