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You love him too much to let him go.

But you don’t think he needs you the way you needed him. That he loves you the way you loved him.

You marked him, writing “mine” over his chest that was peacefully heaving back and forth as he slept beside you.

It was getting out of hand actually, how he kisses you as soon as he closed the door to your condominium, how he would distract you with that kiss and carry you to the bedroom making you forget everything…

Making you forget that this was so wrong. That you should decline.

He made you forget that you were supposed to break up with him.

So you stared at him all throughout the night, thinking about how he used to be so much sweeter, so much gentler and so much thoughtful. He would even ask permission before he kisses you lightly on the lips, on how his eyes look up with you in worry when he knew you were feeling down.

How he changed so much. He wasn’t gentle anymore and all he does was touch you and make love to you and you just realized how this relationship was turning to all touch and no love.

How you were scared that one day, he would walk up to you and saying he had enough, that he's bored with you, that he's tired of you and you should just break up.

This were the reasons why you wanted to break up with Suho but kept holding on to Kim Joonmyun.

You sighed.

“Maybe next time…” You assured yourself but then again this is the tenth time you had said that.

~

The next morning he was gone.

But there was already breakfast in the table and a note.

Manager called. It was an emergency, sorry. Take care.

“You’re so cruel Suho.” You crumpled the paper.

You threw the food out and started making coffee because after this, you really had enough of this, you didn’t want to be alone anymore.

It’s too painful but you have to let him go, because you’re the only one holding on.

~

Suho waited for Sunday to come, it was the only time he could get to you, the only time he could see you and love you.

But when he got to your condominium all he found was a note by the door.

I’m sorry.

I’m leaving.

Suho took time to process this and after he realized what that stupid blasted note meant he fished out his phone calling you.
 

“So you read the note?”  Your voice always made him calm but somehow it made his chest hurts.

“Yeah.” Suho answered as pain was creeping in him. “Hey. Let’s talk about this, I can’t-"  " ___ ! Please. Don’t leave.”

“It’s not that easy to me, Joonmyun.” You reasoned because you were still hurting.

Both of you were.

Because you both love each other so much though you lack the confidence of staying with him because of the lingering fear of him not loving you anymore and his lack of consciousness of whatever your feeling because he is too much focused on his own feelings.

“Why?” Suho asks. He loves you, he really does.

“Because I want Joonmyun. Not Suho.” You answered and hung up. The conversation will be a neverending set of questions and answer that would get you to nowhere, really.

Suho entered the condominium and he could remember so many memories as he sulked on the sofa.

In fact, before EXO, all his memories were either killing boredom with books and stuff or being with you, which never failed to complete his day.

*Flashback*

“Do we really need to buy this? It’s too big for me Joonmyun-ah.” You said pouting.

“This will be our house.” Suho proclaimed as if someone was eavesdropping and wanted to take the condominium near the open sea.

“Wow. So romantic.” You said sarcastically. “It’s not exactly what I want but… if you really like it here, then I’ll stay.”

“Really?” Suho asked in surprise because you rarely agree with what he wants.

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna marry you someday.”

“Don’t be cocky, I want a gold ring with a diamond as big as a strawberry.”

You also remembered the day he showed you his “ideal house”, on how you agreed to stay at that unromantic condominium near the sea. You wanted to laugh at his unromantic choices, but you couldn’t because it was Joonmyun after all.

On how he told you he would marry you someday.

You sat on your own room, back at your parents’ house. Trying to read a book, but books reminded you of Joonmyun to much.

*Flashback*

“Your such a nerd.” You said to Joonmyun who chose to sit while you were all swimming out to the sea with all your friends.

“You like nerds.” He said not looking at you, focusing on the book like the nerd he was. “Right?”

“Right.” You sat beside him eating an ice cream.

“Huh!” He said proudly as he looked up finally tearing his eyes away from the book. “Ahh.” He said opening his mouth wide.

You stuck out your tongue at him and quickly devoured the ice cream.

He pouted and you laughed until his lips met yours, his tongue traveling in your mouth and you sat frozen on your spot.

“Hmm. Sweet.” He smiled after he left you breathless and panting.

“ert!” You said punching his arm.

“You like erts right?” He asks.

“No. I like you.”

“And I love you.”

~

Suho wanted you more than anything else in the world. If he could bring back that time when he kissed you without permission and you let him, he would do it.

Because that was the first time he ever kissed you without your permission, he couldn’t focus at the book at the time because he noticed how you were showing off to much skin and he was bothered on how men were looking at you that he kissed you with the lame excuse of tasting the ice cream. You didn’t know that of course.

Suho wasn’t sure on what to do. It was almost morning and he had to go back to SMent, for rehearsals and he has never been late before.

But then he suddenly realized what he did wrong.

He felt like the most horrible person in the world for forgetting those three words to say.

He knew by then why you had left him and Suho being Joonmyun rushed out of the condominium and started driving.

~

You know it was stupid, going back to where you first saw him.

It wasn’t a romantic place at all but to you it was.

It was still the same quiet place, the small library which was only a five minute walk from your house.

 

*Flashback*

You stared at him, at the second shelf in the History section, he was staring back at you because you saw his face when you took out two books at a time.

He was at the other side of the shelf, if you remember correctly English literature.

“Hi.” He says and he smiled showing off his pearly whites.

“Hi.” You smiled back.

“So you like books?” He asks awkwardly.

“Obviously.”  You answered. “You ask that to every girl you meet?”

“No.” He answered pouting a bit. “I’m Joonmyun.”

“I’m ____, nice to meet you Joonmyu.” You said giving him a nickname which was not that short.

 

“Hi.” And you thought you were dreaming, because when you took out a book in the same history section, the same two books you took off that shelf before when you met him, he was now there smiling.

“Hi.” You said but didn’t smile.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was shaky you could feel the pain in his voice.

You put back the books on the shelf and was ready to walk off.

He stopped you, his hands holding yours and he looked at you not the way Suho does but the way Joonmyun does. His eyes was like asking if it was alright to hold your hand.

“Let me go.” You said determined not to give in.

“Ok. But please, don’t leave ___.” He pleaded.

You nodded.

“I- I’m sorry. There are no words to describe how much sorry I am but please forgive me for being insensitive. I’ve been to focused on my career that I have forgotten that you’re the most important one in my life, that you were the reason why I started doing what I really want. I’ve forgotten that I needed to assure you every day not just to make you feel but assure you that my love for you will always be forever, that I missed you so much it drove me crazy for those days that I didn’t get to see you. That I would break down and cry if I call you and realize how far you are. I promise ____. That it won’t be like that anymore.” He says with eyes burning with determination that you know he wouldn’t let you go, and you see Joonmyun again.

Now, being the nerd girl you were, you thought of something smart to say but ended up with:

“From what book did you get that?” You asked him holding on to him.

“In my book of life.” He says clutching his chest. “So, can we start again?”

“Cheesy. I think I saw this in the movies before.” You said smiling at him because you could never stay mad at Joonmyun and you could never let him go, not now that he was holding you so tight.

“Really? What movie?” He asks as he smiles back.

The pain was fading away fast.

“I missed you, Joonmyu.” You said and initiated a hug.

“Me too.” He said as you cried the last remaining pain on his shoulder. “I love you.”

“It’s been long since I heard that from you.” You said still holding on to him tight.

“I’ll make sure you’ll hear it every single day from now on.” He said and then fished something out from his pocket.

It was a ring, matching sets for both of you. It was just a simple silver ring with tiny blue diamonds at the side.

“Thank you.” You said then smiled because you decided to .

“Are you proposing? Didn’t I tell you before? I want a golden ring with a diamond as big as a strawberry?”

He laughs. “I know you’ll say something like that.”

Then to your surprise he took a basket from a nearby table (you didn’t even noticed because you were to focused on him), filled with red delicious strawberries.

“Wow.” You said in the verge of laughing.

“I’ll get you the diamond as big as a strawberry thing one day.” He said and you just couldn’t help but laugh because Joonmyun spoils you too much and he even takes everything you say seriously.

It was your first fight for all these years and the worst might yet to come but, the important thing is that you were sure that he was sincerely, deeply and assuringly inlove with you, just as you were assuringly, deeply and sincerely inlove with him.

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Author's Note:

I used to dream of marrying a guy with glasses. It made them look sorta smart. Guess this story's character's personality was kinda inspired by this ~ >//<

AND THIS !! SO SEDUCTIVE SUHO ~~~ Uuugh, that wink. *dies 

THANKS FOR READING !!!