Lay || Last Kiss (Completed)
Last KissThe cold bitter wind kissed your skin making you shiver.
The only thing that became the source of protection from the cold air was his black V-neck shirt.
On the corner of the room near the big window of your apartment with your knees brought up to your chest, a sullen atmosphere was looming over you
The only sound that can be heard in the room was the pitter patter of the rain pouring softly and your silent barely audible breathing pattern.
He told me he loved me.
You just couldn’t help but just think about it.
How he said those words seemed so sincerely and real maybe they were but then if you look at it now everything he said seemed to be good to be true seeing your current state.
A bitter smile just couldn’t be held back as it grazes your features, those movements of your facial muscle should have translated happiness instead of pain.
Bittersweet
Those memories that help can’t but feel so pleasant to look back at but the aftertaste of facing the consequence of feeling pleasure lingers; pain and letting go.
Finally titling your head up, the traces of raindrops that was plastered on your window caught your attention.
Bringing your hand up gently to press against the glass window a strong wave of coldness hit your skin.
Huh, just like me it feels cold.
The room felt suffocating now that you thought of it, lonely and barren.
Like my heart.
That thought can’t help but cross your mind making you dwell more in self-pity
How he whispered those words that we just for them to know.
How the dark skied covered everything around them.
On top of her apartment building’s rooftop with sparkling wand slit for the sake of their enjoyment as they were both seeking for the beautifully scattered stars yet none were found and the sparkling wands were used as a substitute.
The only thing that became the source of light on that dark covered night
Exactly at July 9th at 1:58 the words he whispered caught her off guard, surprising her beyond her wits.
The sparkle of amber flames seemed to do his facial features good justice as for you he looked breathe taking.
“I love you.” He said with sincerity and realness accompanied with his facial expression that awfully backed up his words.
It seemed so surreal.
Those words
His feelings
His heart
Silence was followed with his declaration, the air that was filled and dancing with happiness moments ago seemed too died down with the sparkle of the fire.
After that what felt like the longest time that everything around him seemed to froze
A gentle smile was painted on your face as you replied back a
“I love you too Yixing.”
Then the next action left you surprised as he had pulled you by the arm to hug you.
The placement of your head was strikingly on the part of his chest where his heart was at.
It was beating loudly, like it would jump of his chest and shirt any moment.
And you liked it, no, you loved it, every second that his heart beat in that moment was something you cherished.
You loved how his heart’s beating pattern as it was a proof of what he said was true.
Thank you
You thought as you wrapped your arms around him, making him tighten his hold around you.
“Why did you have to go away?” You silently whispered to thin air.
Enveloping yourself with your arms was nothing compared to feeling those limbs encasing you emitting security and protection but best of all warmth.
I wish for him, just one more time, to wrap me around his arms.
How every time he did so, coiling you around his form, you would always lean your head to his left side of his chest, where his heart was located at. Maybe it was just how the beating of his heart had a calming effect on you.
Yixing was able to make you feel mixed emotions, emotions you had barely felt before he entered your life.
Zhang Yixing whom made you felt complete.
Yixing, the guy who stole your heart
Yixing, the one who you shared your firsts with
Yixing, the one that can make you feel you’re up in the highest possible level of happiness and also the one who can make you feel like you’re down on the deepest pit of the earth.
Yixing, the one who left you
Yixing, the one whom you’re still undeniably in love with
Yixing, the one you can’t let go of.
Yixing, the guy who you cannot move on from
He was definitely the meaning of yin and yang for you.
He was the boy in your class that was well-known for his passion for dancing and he was incredibly good at it.
Sure he was always the odd boy in the back corner of the room that seemed to always stare off at blankness yet he was friend and well acquainted with everyone thus making him popular. It was also his charming and above the average looks that got him well-known. He was also really smart, as he was self-taught on how to play the piano and guitar that made him the number one act on your school festivals and such. Basically he was close to perfection. Maybe a tinge of weirdness but everyone has their own flaw but his seemed to come off as a charm and most of the time adorable.
And then there was you
The girl that is always on the opposite side of the room from him
The girl that can be classified as just on the brink of above normal from all the students
The well balanced kind of student, not the excelling kind but has enough common sense and neurons inside of her.
The kind of girl that was always in the background, the one that was great at blending in with the crowd
Your world was so different in colors.
Such parallel universe
Yet funny how a miracle happened
One day when you were up on the rooftop of your school, taking a little breather as you always had a slight claustrophobia, you wanted to just get away from all the people.
Looking out ahead of you seeing the vast scenery of you neighborhood, seeing the view of Changsa helped you relax for the time being.
What shocked you a little bit is that you felt a presence beside you. You didn’t even heard the door opening and closing for that matter but you didn’t dwell on the thoughts as the person is already beside you.
Turning you head a little bit you saw Yixing, the popular guy in your class.
He has his hands tucked in his pants pocket and just staring ahead as well, what you were doing moments ago.
Tilting your head a bit as you were questioning in your head why he was here and decided to stand beside you.
Shooing those thoughts aside you went back to staring at the view that was laid out in front of you
Silence dominated the atmosphere between the two of you; no words were exchanged as it felt like none were needed.
“Being surrounded with numbers of people gets suffocating huh?” Yixing finally decided to speak making you come back to reality from your reverie.
You nodded while looking at him with a cautious glance.
“I always wondered why haven’t you talked to me that much Xiuying? I mean I know I am also considered as the silent type but I seem approachable right?” Yixing stated while looking at you offering you a small smile.
It caught you off guard that he knew your name much less wanted you to talk to him.
You only shrugged as a reply to him.
You actually couldn’t phantom why this guy was even taking interest on conversing with you. It’s not like you considered yourself as an outcast but rather you were more into your world that people tend to just be an acquaintance of yours thus making you not talk to them a lot just a small smile and a nod would suffice for them so it bewilders you why this popular guy wanted you to talk to him.
“Still a girl with little words to escape her. I like that. You’re different, beautifully contrasting majority of the girls here in the school. Sometimes their voice makes my head a little to be honest.” Yixing said while displaying a charming smile while staring ahead still with his hands on his pockets.
“I want to be your friend if that’s alright with you.” Yixing voiced out while turning to you while smiling.
And that was the start of your friendship with him at first you were skeptical with his motives but then he had proved that he only wanted to befriend you thus making you let go of your inhibitions and finally breaking down some walls you have built around you when it comes to him.
After the time he confessed he formally asked you to be his girlfriend.
You become his girlfriend and almost the whole neighborhood knew you as a couple since then.
The two of you were in separable like two peas in a pod.
~oOo~
The rain finally stopped but then it still left a grey vast sky.
As if it was sympathizing with you
Pulling your legs closer to your chest you just couldn’t help but reminisce about those little details about him
Those dimples of his that you loved poking as you found it amusing and cute.
How he was life of the party that you have been to
How he has this habit of walking with his hands in his pocket reasoning that he’s hands felt cold making you shook your head before pulling one arm and intertwining them with yours before muttering a soft and low
“You don’t need your pockets if I’m here to be your source of warmth if you want.”
Making you blush a little and shrugging it off like it was nothing but you would always end up being embarrassed about it but then Yixing would voice out he found you adorable whenever you looked flush but always want to regain your composure.
You couldn’t help but release a bitter laugh as a certain memory flashed and resurfaced on your mind
Yixing was always so passionate about dancing, if you ask him to dance he would start off shy but then once he gets on with his move it’s like another person took over him exuding confidence, appeal and charm. Sometimes he was a show off but then it was tamed on such level.
Like one time he asked you to watch him practice on a studio down town, you were just sitting at the floor watching him in amazement as his limbs were so fluid and graceful in moving that it left you breathless as you didn’t think someone could even be in the same level of dancing skills, you may be biased a little bit but he was really a great dancer and his passion can be seen with every movement of his.
Once you he was done you clapped for him and handed him a towel to wipe off his perspiration.
He asked you if you dance thus making him result into receiving a glare and a look that says
Do you even have to ask?
You don’t dance as you as you have long accepted the fact that dancing and you were not one compatible element.
He laughed really loudly before pulling your hand up , making you stand up with wide and alert eyes as you had a hunch that he would teach you how to.
As he was demonstrating what he called ‘the basics’ you were really skeptical about the situation you were in, you were never into dancing and have long given up on it, once he was done showing you or rather you kind of felt like he was showing off, you just stood there and rolled your eyes.
He stopped and laughed at your reaction before pulling you closer to him, encasing you in his arms.
“You looked so cute, you and your stubbornness can never be beaten, even if you can’t dance I still love you. It’s just I want us to have more bonding activities rather than those normal dates and study dates.” Yixing said smiling while looking into your eyes wrapping his arms firmly around you.
“But I can’t really dance.” You whined as you looked at his eyes uncertainty vividly present in your eyes.
He said nothing in reply to your statement instead he leaned down and softly kissed you.
His kisses were always so soft and gentle, cliché as it may sound, you found yourself melting and knees buckling , leaving you weak in the bones as it felt utterly nice to have his lips pressed on yours with the soft pressure he puts into that transcends the mutual love you both have for each other.
It was a sweet and innocent kiss for you.
No lust or ual desire attached.
Not a tinge of pheromones dancing in the air.
Purely just love.
One of the best qualities of Yixing was that he was very respectful.
He was loved by the adults and your parents were not an exception
He was already addressed by them as their son-in-law
It still made you wonder on how he had charmed your strict and conservative parents, he already has this special handshake with your dad, but it was one thing you loved about it. How he was so nice to your family and how he was well loved by your relatives.
You were always the one with a close bond with your parents as you were on only child thus making you treated as a gem in the family. Always daddy’s little princess so when princess found her prince charming and he was well loved by daddy it was perfect; he was perfect for you.
How every time you rant about something that you felt like giving up, in the middle of you spilling all your frustrations saying how you felt so stupid and why is it so difficult for you to understand and such he would rudely interrupt you with a kiss that will make you forget about everything around, like it was just like you and him that matters. Like time had stop.
With him pulling away he would seriously look into your eyes and say
“Never give up as life is full of obstacles that we need to conquer. It’s just another challenge.” He would say encouragingly with those hypnotizing orbs of his making you nod and feel determined to try again.
It would always end up you feeling thankful that God has given you someone like him.
You couldn’t imagine life without him
He was your life already
Everything seemed perfect.
You were happy, you had him, your family loves you, you have good grades, and other things.
Life was going perfectly smooth but then again life can threw a curve ball, and it threw you a hard one at that.
Yixing got scouted as a trainee in a world famous entertainment agency based on Korea.
He had to leave you.
He broke the news in your birthday.
With a gloomy aura surrounding the both of you, up in your apartment’s rooftop, the cold wind accompanying the both of you, silence enveloping the whole place.
“When are you leaving?” You finally broke the ice as you wrapped your arms around yourself while refusing to look at him as you stared straight in the view that your rooftop has to offer.
“Next week.” Yixing replied firmly while looking at you worriedly.
A bitter chuckle can’t help but escape your system as you still refused to meet eyes with him
“And you chose to tell me this now.” You said with bitterness evident in your voice.
“I thought you would be happy for me, you knew this was my dream. I… I wanted you to support me.” Yixing said as he took a step towards you which resulted into you backing away, never have you done that action towards Yixing which left him frozen for a second before realizing that you really needed your space right now.
“I am happy for you… Just not ecstatic about it.” You replied and your voice in the end faltering.
Again silence covered the whole presence that bask around the both of you.
You never knew that silence could be so deafening
“Xing….. Let’s end this now. It’ll be easier for us.” You said as you were close to tears right now and your voice wavering.
“No! I’m only going away for some time I’ll come back! We can work things out, we’ll figure out how to make it work ,we’ll get through this.” Yixing said as he finally closed the distance between the two of you before cupping your face and wiping the tears that now fell freely from your eyes.
Hugging you tightly wishing you could feel how much he wants you to not end your relationship Yixing cradles you in his embraces.
You were sobbing uncontrollably right now
“You wanna know why I keep to myself? It’s because I hate being attached to someone that could bring me in cloud nine and make me experience the pleasure of having someone by your side but in the end would leave me hanging and refused to be my safety net.” You explained with occasional hiccups as you found breathing right now difficult.
“And you’re one of them…. How could you Xing Xing! You promised!” You said as you weakly pounded Yixing’s chest in which he got hold of your wrist before shushing you to calm down.
It was one of the rare times you let yourself break down
Out of desperation, Yixing cupped your face and deeply kissed you with so much emotion and persuasion and desperation could be felt in that soulful kiss you were both sharing right now. The urgency in the kiss, the pressure, and the desperation it was all too much for you. You just couldn’t.
Pulling away still not opening your eyes as still tears continue to flow you just couldn’t stand the situation you were both in; you’re hidden selfish desire dominating your mind making him want to stay.
“Please leave now because if we continue this I would go to the lengths to stop you.” You said with your voice croaking as you can’t help but choke because of your difficulty breathing.
“No, don’t say that Xiuying, please we can work this out, please.” Yixing said with so much desperation in his voice but with you and you’re stubbornness he knew you were serious.
“Now go. Please spare the both of us the drama of good bye.” You said as you freed yourself from his grip and turned your back from him.
.
.
So that was your last kiss.
You have never imagined that you will both have your last kiss like that, full of pain.
How can a fairytale like love story could end up like this? End up so tragic.
.
.
Muttering his name like a mantra, the name forever in your lips, you reminisce about the times when you were still both happy, when he was still yours. Tears always streamed down your face after looking back at the sweet memories you both have shared.
How now Yixing’s face is plastered all over your neighborhood as Changsa was so proud of the honor Yixing brought them now since he was now an idol that promoted in both China and Korea.
You can only watch his life now on pictures and videos and such but it would still make you cry in the end.
He probably forgot me now. You thought as you were walking in your shopping district and a large poster of him stopped you at your little journey.
Your hands in your trench coat’s pocket looking at the poster with so much longing and regret and all you can do is paint a pained smile on your face.
Xing Xing, where ever you are I just hope you remember me… Even if it was a bitter memory, I would be fine with that… I just really wished you had stayed, I wish something reminds you of the times we were happy and you wished you has stayed by my side. But I’ll be done acting selfish, so I am glad that you never changed your mind in chasing your dreams.
You thought as you continued to trudge on the streets of the shopping district of Changsa.
Walking mindlessly with your head down and your hands still in your coat’s pocket, you were not minding what was happening around you. Too deep in your thoughts to care about what the people think of you right now.
“
Xiuying?” A voice that seemed so familiar caught your attention with your heart pounding strongly.
Mustering up the courage to look up at the person who called you, you slowly looked up seeing that face painted with a small smile you had missed so much.
“Yixing.” You whispered breathlessly.
FIN
Khnoct here~!
Done!!!
Word Count : 3,546
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