Chapter 26: Shatter

"I'm sorry to say but your wife had a miscarriage". The doctor said.
  
"Miscarriage? Naeun was pregnant…" Taemin whispered, as if the life in him had been out if him. He said it like a fact, a cold distant look in his eyes that made it feel like he wasn't even realising the gravity of the doctors words.  

The sheer possibility of Naeun being pregnant shocked him. And now they had lost the baby. He could feel tears brim his eyes but he held back.

He had to be strong. 

"How could I be soo stupid? The sudden mood swings...random cravings..the morning sickness... I thought she was just tired and stressed. It's all my fault" Eunji babbled as she teared up next to Suho.  

"It's not your fault" Suho patted her head and pulled her close into a hug to comfort her.  

"He's right, it's mine" Myungsoo finally spoke up. A dead look in his eyes.   Taemin looked away from the door of her room. 

"Mine too" he sighed wistfully and closed his eyes. 

"She's regaining conscious" a nurse informed them. Eunji rushed into the room to find Naeun.   
Taemin quickly said thanks to the nurse and dashed in too, followed by Myungsoo and Suho.  

Naeun sat against the hospital bed, looking pale and tired, an IV drip attached to her wrists along with a blood bag. She clutched the bedsheets till her knuckles were pink, eyes darting from face to face; searching for some answer to as why she was there.   

"What's going on?" she blinked and held her breath.  

"Naeun honey, please listen to me and don't strain yourself" Eunji started, tears already welling up in her eyes again as she slowly held her hand.  

Abruptly Naeun pulled her hand back in shock, surprising everyone in the room.  

"Naeun?" she repeated.

"Don't patronize me. I'm not a child. I don't remember anything. What happened to me?"

Eunji gulped and her lips nervously.

"Naeun you suddenly fainted on the streets...and you-you" Eunji struggled with her words as they got harder and harder. 

"I WHAT?!" Naeun raised her voice though it cracked a bit.  

"You miscarried a baby" Eunji choked . 

In a split second, something inside Naeun snapped. Her eyes widened in horror and her fingers trembled finding their way up to . She shook non stop and slowly the tears fell; staining her cheeks.  

"NO NO NO NO! LIES! THERE IS NO BABY I WAS NEVER PREGNANT !" she shouted hysterically.  

"Naeun-" Taemin said, taking a closer step towards her. She flinched and backed away, sinking deeper in the sheets and burying her hands in her face.  

"This isn't happening. I was never pregnant" she whispered; in denial of the whole situation.  

She tried to swoop down from the bed and break away from the tubes that were supporting her.  

"DOCTOR!" Myungsoo yelled, running out of the room to find someone.Anyone. That could help her.  

"NAEUN STOP, YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF" Taemin shouted as he and Suho restrained her down  as she fought to tear herself away from them; agitatedly convulsing on the bed. The pain unbearable. She just wanted to run away.  

"I'm already in pain" she cried, looking him straight in the eye. It hit him hard, like the feeling of ice cold water dumped on him: guilt.  

Tears escaped her eyes onto the sheets as she fought to get away. Every emotion was threatening to rip her to pieces. Madness, loss, grief, anger, pain, sadness all swirled like a maelstrom within her fragile cage.  

A nurse promptly came in, swiftly injecting her with some kind of tranquiliser and she felt her eyelids get heavy. She stopped struggling and slumped onto the bed as the drug took its effect.  

"There is no baby. This is just a nightmare" those words repeatedly left her quivering lips like a mantra and pierced Taemin's heart.  Her eyelids fell and a tear slipped down her left cheek.  

"I'm sorry. I'm soo sorry" she heard him say before she went limp like a ragdoll and the darkness consumed her whole.

"Unnie. Eunji unnie" Naeun called out softly.

Eunji jolted awake from her slumber and groaned. She had slept in an uncomfortable position on the chair next to the bed waiting for Naeun to wake up. It had just struck 5 in the morning so the room was lit in a dewy light of the dawn sunlight.  

"Naeun ah. Have you been awake long?" she asked her.

But Naeun didn't seem to react at all.

"Unnie. You look in pain. Sit next to me." she replied, shifting a bit to give Eunji some space on the bed. Once they were sat next to each other Naeun leaned her head towards Eunji.

"I was drunk when it happened. I was soo upset I didn't realize what I was doing. It was all my fault" she whispered and looked away.

It took a second for Eunji to realise how much Naeun was truly breaking down.

"How can you say that Naeun!?"

 "That night... It was the alcohol. Then I ran out after Myungsoo tried to take me home. I fainted now here I am" she touched her forehead.

"Naeun it's nobodys fault!"

"It was mine. I was stupid and ignorant. I should have known" Naeun now was falling apart; Eunji knew it was her  to console her dear friend.

"Shhhhh"  

"It was all my fault. I was stupid. There's no one else to blame but...me" she muttered, a faraway look in her eyes.

Maybe she wasn't even in reality now.

Eunji pulled her close into a tight hug as Naeun slowly wrapped her skinny arms around the older She clutched Eunji's arm as Eunji her hair. But no tears seemed to pass from Naeun's eyes.

Her tears had run dry.
She was too tired to cry.

"I'm sorry I can't erase your pain. Please be strong."  

"I'm tired of being tired of being strong unnie. I just want it all to end"  

"Shhhh. Please don't say that"

“You don't get it” Eunji looked at her confusedly as the words left her lips. 

“I got drunk. I put the baby at risk”

“Oh Naeun” Eunji hushed sadly, because part of her knew; that it was partly true.

“I killed my own baby”

A/N :

Guys… I'm not gonna be able to update in a while… like 2 weeks?
I have case studies for geography and history which are both really really important for my grades… i hope u understand

(Anyone in form 3 in Malaysia? I feel u~ good luck)

So I'm sorry… 
And also, I don't think i can update a lot…
I'm sorry… there's a lot of work… mock exams and other crap to deal with…
But I'll try to update at least a few times a month…

And thank you to everyone that supports this fanfic! It's nice to write for such great readers~

Plz drop some feed back !
Kamsa~