“Maknae. Cook. Go forth, slave.” Seunghyun deadpanned, pushing the tongs towards the youngest. All five members were currently gathered at their dorm in Hapjeongdong, preparing to sit down for a meal together at home for the first time in a while. The elders had elected Korean barbeque as their home cooked dish for the day, and so, as the youngest, Seungri was evidently forced to cook the meat for his hyungs. He stood up from the table, sighing as he began spearing the raw meat and chucking it into the frying pan; their substitute for a barbeque grill.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll help you out.” A soothing, melodic voice whispered sweetly in his ear. The maknae found himself enveloped from behind by a pair of skinny tattooed arms, and a kiss or two on his neck. Jiyong giggled softly, digging his sharp chin into Seungri’s collarbone as those same twig arms reached forward for the tongs so he could place some more meat in the frying pan. However, before his long, lithe fingers could even reach the utensil, Seungri, quick as a flash, grabbed Jiyong’s hand with his own and brought it to his lips. The maknae’s cherry lips grazed the back of the leader’s apple-white hand for a few seconds, until he changed his mind and thought better of it. Instead, instantaneously flipping around, Seungri threw his arms around his Jiyong and placed his lips to the smiling leader’s. Jiyong eagerly locked his tongue with Seungri’s, mouths moving hurriedly against one another as the two boys’ desire swiftly overtook each other and any other priority they may have previously had at that very moment in time. 

“UM.” Seunghyun interrupted, practically having a mock-coughing fit back by the kitchen table, as Daesung pretended to whack him on the back like the elder was choking. “Last time I checked? You were meant to be making us dinner. Not making a baby. Jiyong, stop trying to have on the kitchen counter with Seungri and sit your - back down, pronto.”

After he’d reluctantly detached himself from his boyfriend (at least for the next five minutes), Jiyong ed his tongue out menacingly at the eldest as he stalked back to the table. “You’re just jealous. You wish you and Daesung could be ing on the kitchen table right now, and you know it.” The leader bit back as he plonked his bony down on the nearest chair. “Unfortunately for Daesung, it’s only because you’re not so much as as you are hungry that you’re holding yourself back.”

Seunghyun’s smoky eyes glinted, as though Jiyong had really flipped a switch. He opened his mouth to launch a counter-attack, until he was suddenly cut off by a certain maknae.

“I’m cooking as fast as I can, Seunghyun-hyung,” Seungri gave a highly aggravated whimper, mustering his best helpless, adorable baby-maknae voice as of yet. Before the “chooming” rapper could even respond to that, Jiyong immediately beat him to it.

“It’s okay, Seungriyah.” The legs on Jiyong’s chair screeched against the tile floor as the leader quickly stood and hurried over to his maknae. Wrapping his arms around the boy and nuzzling his neck, Jiyong murmured words of comfort to Seungri before kissing his neck again. “It’s okay. No one’s rushing you. Take all the time you need. You’re doing just fine, baby.”

As the sound of kissing overtook the kitchen again, Seunghyun would have usually been five seconds away from having another puking fit. However, his silence proved other circumstances, as Daesung leant over towards Seunghyun across the table to whisper sweet nothings in his boyfriend’s ear, successfully keeping the rapper from snapping at the leader-maknae combo’s P.D.A when he himself eagerly partook in his own. Meanwhile, Seungri and Jiyong only appeared even more intent on devouring each other for dinner, grabby, hands trailing down towards belt buckles…

“Move. It’s burning.”

“Bae!” Jiyong, surprised, jumped as his faux-hawked best friend shouldered himself around the entangled maknae and leader. He immediately began to wrestle with the frying pan, quickly extracting the meat from the heat onto a plate, only to deposit a fresh batch of beef into the hot oil.

Dong Youngbae, having been quietly resigned at the very edge of the kitchen and unsure of where to look or what to do, had previously remained silent all throughout the two couples’ affectionate actions. Thankfully, he’d quickly been relieved of any more awkward standing by as the acrid smell of burnt meat had filled the air. Youngbae took the chance to dart forward and take charge of the food preparation, successful in distracting himself. However, along the way, he’d been so intent on making use of himself, in all his speed, he’d accidently jostled against Jiyong. Along with Seungri.

Youngbae winced.

“It’s looking good, Bae,” Jiyong remarked, marvelling over the barely shorter man’s shoulder. The sizzling, juicy meat quickly morphed from blood red to a warm, cooked russet. “But you tried hard too, Seungriyah, and for that, I’m proud of you.” Jiyong declared, planting another kiss on his adorable maknae’s face. Youngbae threw another batch of beef into the frying pan, the hissing noise drowning out the sounds of their kissing.

“It’s done. Let’s eat.” Youngbae muttered, deliberately only barely speaking in short statements. If he kept his mouth open for another second, he didn’t trust he wouldn’t say anything he would most definitely regret. 

“It’s so good, Youngbae-ah.” Seunghyun was practically drooling as he ravenously dug into the meat as soon as the plate was plunked on the table by a sullen Youngbae. Seunghyun quickly loaded Daesung’s bowl to the brim with the meat, only to then return to devouring the beef himself, claiming that they shared the same bowl. Daesung only laughed, shaking his head.

“I helped too, hyung.” Seungri piped up, all pouts and puppy-dog eyes. Before he could speak another word, protest or otherwise, Jiyong swiftly stuck a slice of the meat in his pretty little mouth and kissed him on the cheek. 

“We know, baby. You did really well.” Jiyong cajoled. His hands fluttered back down towards the general direction of the table, only for Seungri to suddenly snatch them and cradle them in his own palms.

“I couldn’t have done it without hyung.” Seungri mumbled through his pursed, protruding lips. Jiyong grinned, leaning over to reward his maknae with a light kiss on the nose.

‘Which one?’ Youngbae couldn’t help but think. He mentally slapped himself at such a thought, frowning at the mere idea. Idiot! He inwardly scolded himself. Of course Seungri meant the one and only Jiyong.

After all, as far as Youngbae was concerned, for as long as he could remember, to Seungri, Jiyong was always number one. Always the focus. Always the favourite.

Even back when Jiyong had practically hated the kid. Back when Seungri had been kicked out and Jiyong honestly could have cared less. Back when Youngbae loved Seungri more than anybody in the world.

And still did.

Youngbae didn’t want to think about it. He tried not to think about it. But he always did. Youngbae believed in karma and fairness. Seungri was happy with Jiyong, even if the elder had been so unbelievably cruel to him in their earlier years. And that was all that mattered. Even though Youngbae had always been there for Seungri. Had always held a kind and open heart out to the awkward, unfortunate maknae.

‘But even so…I wish I could just be more selfish, sometimes…’ Youngbae sighed, tutting under his breath as he prepared to reprimand himself. However, he was suddenly cut off by Seunghyun’s booming voice, bolted back to the present.

“…It’s like you two are obsessed, yah! You guys need to cut it out! Seriously! We’re eating beef here, not each other’s faces! You don’t see me and Daesung here acting like a pair of -starved aliens, do you, huh?! Don’t make me puke whilst I’m trying to digest! Get out and get a room!” Seunghyun growled. Youngbae’s head snapped up to see Jiyong’s nose-kissing had quickly moved onto full making out once again. What a surprise.

“Yeah!” Daesung added. Seunghyun smiled proudly at his other half’s show of support, and made a motion to pat his head. However, apparently, the smiling angel of truth had yet to finish.

“And whilst you’re at it, make sure you shut the door to your room!” Daesung scolded, determined to get his message across. “I was doing the laundry last night, and I almost walked in to your room to get yours, Seungri, because your door was wide open. But it’s a good thing I didn’t, because I saw…you two were…involved…” Daesung paused, grimacing.

Jiyong, having been looking down at the beef to check there were no fat ts prior to Daesung’s little rant, now slowly raised his head to turn to Seungri. Even as Daesung continued, the leader’s eyes were as frozen and numb as ice.

“…And, yeah. You-You know what I mean. Aish! At least Jiyong was under the covers, but I could hear you , Seungri! So gross! Just be careful next time and make sure to shut the door, okay, Jiyong-hyung?” Daesung nudged Jiyong’s arm. His chopsticks clattered to the floor.

“What.” Jiyong whispered, the pupils in his eyes not budging even a fraction of a millimetre. They remained fixed to Seungri and his motionless pokerface.

Upon noticing the leader’s apparent fury, Daesung quickly backtracked. “No offence, obviously, hyung, it’s just common courtesy-“                                                                             

“I wasn’t here last night.” Jiyong’s statement thundered down on the table like a lightning bolt, deafening and leaving nothing but silence.

Last night. Last night was when it all began, and simultaneously ended. A night where all of Youngbae’s hopes and secret dreams had been ignited, had come true. It was a night where his happiness had crashed and burned by the time morning had come. The happiness that would never come ever again from such a wondrous night. A night that was one night only.

Youngbae couldn’t take it anymore. His love for Seungri of over eight years was simply too much for him to handle without doing anything about it. No girl or woman on earth could ever compete with what Youngbae felt for the younger Seunghyun. It was high time Seungri knew just how much this hyung felt for him, cared for him, loved him.

Except it wasn’t. Youngbae loved Seungri, and had done for over eight years. But Jiyong was his best friend, and had been for over twelve years. Youngbae could never move past that fact. However, it still didn’t necessarily overrule how he felt about Seungri.

Youngbae didn’t want to hurt Jiyong, or Seungri for that matter. He didn’t want to ruin anything for them. He just wanted to use that one night…that one night only…to rid himself of it all. Get it off his chest and be done with it. Move on, and forget about it forever. But words…there were no words to express the way or amount Youngbae felt for Seungri. Like dance, it was all about the actions…the body…the anatomy.

Silently making his way towards the open door of Seungri’s room, Youngbae went over the plan one more time in his head. Youngbae wanted to use this one moment to make Seungri feel as good as loving Seungri did to him. To show him how much he truly desired him. He had no idea what his feelings conveyed would stir within Seungri, but Youngbae had to do it. He just had to pray Seungri wouldn’t reject him.

The lights in Seungri’s room were out. Youngbae slowly poked his head into the room to find the maknae was beneath the sheets, fast asleep. Youngbae gulped. It was perfect. Seungri was perfect. He looked so innocent and childlike, just like he had seven years ago, so unaware of the struggles that had yet to come. Youngbae had to do this.

It was now or never.