That day was cold. Colder than usual, and no heater or fireplace could make it warm. White and silent only, as far as one’s eyes could reach. Countless tiny snowflakes making the layer of glittering snow even thicker, straying off to icy surface of the window glass every now and then. Weather was cloudy, gloomy, one could say melancholy. And when taking it all in, you could notice the frigid atmosphere having this unknown soothing feel to it. Almost like a lullaby.

It was still, it was quiet.

„Do you remember the time when you worked on your final graduation task? It was about interpretations of dreams.“

The other boy hummed in response. It was not that long ago since he graduated, seven months to be exact. Of course he remembers. His graduation work was, as his boyfriend said, indeed about dreams and its many ways of interpretation. Not only did he choose this topic because of his future profession.

It was Chanyeol’s dream job to become a psychologist specialized in personality psychology; dreams. When they started learning the subject in social studies, no one could miss Chanyeol’s deep interest and undying curiosity. His classmates were surprised at first, they never thought Chanyeol could be capable of liking things that didn’t include any trace of rebellion. He had this image among other pupils; class’ noisy fool and troublemaker. Little did they know the real Chanyeol, the one who hid everything behind all the pranks and laughter.

„And do you remember asking me if I knew how to interpret them? My answer was no back then.“

„Why, Sehun? Do you know the answer now?“ Both of Chanyeol’s brows lifted in anticipation, as he finally faced the latter. Their eyes locked. When Sehun first met Chanyeol, he wondered if he chose a wrong person. Chanyeol was a giant, literally, his ears big and a smile that showed at least three fours of his teeth alway present on his face. Sehun was able to desribe the latter in two words: always optimistic. And like his classmates, at that time Sehun only knew that one side of Chanyeol’s.

 „That’s a tricky question, actually, because there still hasn’t been any indisputable proof that a certain thing you dream about means a certain thing in real life when awake. You told me once.“  

Chanyeol laughed in response. As expected, Sehun didn’t get fooled in the slightest.

„But,“ Sehun carried on talking, developing his answer some more. „there was a time when you asked me whether I though that dreams were real or not.“

Chanyeol tensed up, his breatch hitching visibly, and Sehun places a hand on the latter’s shoulder. It was during Chanyeol's biggest down in this year's time period. Chanyeol has been suffering from nightmares since forever and when he once told Sehun, the latter already knew. One could say Chanyeol was overreacting when speaking of his everynight trauma, but Sehun knew better than that. Chanyeol’s worst nightmare depicts a funeral, him lying in his very own coffing, already deep down in the digged pit. His family and friends staring at him from above, a horrifying smile dancing across their lips as they start tossing the dirt right onto his face and body. Sehun is never there and maybe that's the reason why Chanyeol trusts him so much. He wakes up only after being suffocated in the dream, unable to breathe for real. Sometimes it feels so real that Chanyeol takes at least ten minutes to breathe steadily again. So real that he doesn’t dare to fall asleep that night again. If he’s lucky, the nightmare comes back only four or five times a week; if not, it haunts him for a few weeks straight.

It must be frustrating, Sehun thought, going to bed and not knowing if you die that night again.

„It’s up to you, you decide whether the dream was real or not.“ Sehun says, his hand sliding upwards until it reaches Chanyeol’s nape. His fingers interlace with the silky chestnut brown hair and Chanyeol relaxes under the touch. „But there is an end to every single one.“

„What do you mean?“

Sehun smiles in response and Chanyeol keeps on insisting with his stare. Sehun does give him an answer, but not a direct one. He’s already running out of time. „Do you know what day is today?“   

A thin line appears in between the two of Chanyeol’s brows, he furrows them while trying hard to remember. He has lost track of time, it’s Christmas holidays and he has so much work to do. Sehun doesn’t blame him for not remembering. „Is it Saturday…twenty-first of--“ Chanyeol stops in the middle of the sentence and lifts up his head to spot Sehun. The latter still smiles as he finishes what Chanyeol has started.

„December. Today is, indeed, the twenty-first of December.“

The taller male pulls out his cellphone just to confirm what he fears the most. It was today. It was today and Chanyeol forgot only because his university kept him too busy to notice. There’s just too many feelings mixing inside him right now and he’s lost. Sehun, on the other hand, looks quite the opposite. His slim figure being still, calm as if it was all alright.

„I. You. It can’t be--“

Sehun's hand pulls Chanyeol closer, sharing a kiss with the latter and shushing him effectively. There wasn’t anything left to say, anyway. Sehun can feel this coffee-like taste on Chanyeol’s lips, and he finds himself liking it. Chanyeol had one even after Sehun telling him not to drink it, that it was not healthy, but right now he appreciated it. Because Chanyeol always smelled and tasted like coffee.

„Are you ready to let go?“ Sehun asks, after he pulls back slightly, their noses still touching.

„No,“ Chanyeol breathes, and Sehun can feel the breeze on his swollen lips. Both stare into each other’s eyes, appreciating the little time they have left. Chanyeol can feel his chest clenching painfully and he doesn’t hide it, because he isn’t afraid of showing Sehun his weak side. He’s not afraid of Sehun knowing his bad habits, of being embarrassed in front of him or sharing his deepest wishes and worries. It’s a paradox that the very one thing he’s afraid of is destined to happen. A few tears escape his eyes and Sehun’s thumbs brushes them away gently.

„It’s okay.“ He whispers. „No one ever is.“

Sehun appeared in Chanyeol’s life like a midnight dream, and just like a dream he vanished. It was only up to Chanyeol to decide whether it was real or not.