A scholar is responsible for their country's history; they record their country's history and most importantly, mind their own business after they are finished with that history. But, a scholar is not responsible for its people's history."

I never understood what my father meant when said that. As a scholar, I read about past rulers and our encounters with the kingdom to the west and their influences on our culture, but the part about not being responsible for the people's history is something that always confused me. 

"Your majesty!" an older lady in waiting bows, greeting me as I make my way into the brightly lit dressing room. She takes a hold of my elbow and ushers me to the elaborately decorated, low platform where I am dressed by the women of the court. I smooth out the skirt of my red and gold trimmed hanbok and kneel down as she begins coming through my hair with various oils. I can feel her leathery hands tremble as I stare at the lacquered flooring of the room.

"Ajumma." She stops.

"Yes, your majesty?" She continues combing through sections of my hair. 

"Can you tell me what happened to Prince Joonmyeon's mother?"

She stops again and we sit in silence. "I'm sorry your majesty but that is disclosed information."

"As your queen, I order you to tell me this tale."

I can feel her hands tense up. "Yes your majesty." She begins combing again. "The prince's mother was a shaman," she begins, wrapping my hair around the jade binyeo. "She was a woman whom the king had an... affair with."

"Affair?"

"It was a rather violent affair."

She pauses. 

"Continue."

"Yes your majesty." She pats the binyeo into place and sighs. "The prince was a child of ."

And now it made sense. Now I understand why my father said that scholars are not responsible for the people's history. He was referring to the court. Whatever happened in these palace walls stay within these palace walls. 

"Where was the prince conceived?"

"Oh, in the shaman's home of course."

"Then why did he bring her into the palace in the first place?"

"These walls have eyes and ears, and with all due respect my queen, I believe that there are certain parts of history that are better left unsaid," she sighs. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was hiding something. Something dark. Something that would bring the downfall of the monarchy if word got out. 

"Ajumma." She wrings her hands nervously. I place my hand reassuringly over hers. "You need not be afraid. The king is gone now. The prince is gone now. Those eyes and ears are gone now and I am here. Worry not for I will bring this kingdom into a new age and leave its past in the dust."

She kneels down next to me and closes her eyes. "I have served under the Kim Dynasty before the days of our late king. I have witnessed the coming and going of family members, princes and princesses and regents visiting from the Middle Kingdom. I have seen traitors slaughtered before the king's feet, and I have seen people burned alive. And I know of the royal family's horrors."