*NOTE: Excessive use of foul language.*

Looking around, I realise that Super Junior's dorm is nothing like what I had expected. No fancy furnitures, no giant chandeliers, or even a butler to serve them at home. In front of me lies a narrow hallway (where you can barely walk two people at a time) with 4 rooms facing each other, while on my left, a kitchen with a long dining table, a fridge, a stove, and nothing more. The living room seems even miserable, with a lonely couch sitting at the corner and a lonelier 30-inch TV opposite to it. Minimalistic, to put it nicely, or simply...pathetic. Given their level of fame today, is it really hard for the company to at least invest in a better living enviroment for them? Geez. Where does all the money they earn go to? Ahh whatever, I don't wish to interfere with their business anyway.

It takes less than two minutes before I've finished scanning through the entire place. Returning to the living room, I sit on the floor, unwilling to be sandwiched between four other weirdos guys on that already small couch. Soon, those busy in the kitchen are also gathered here to form a circle with the rest of the members. Mr.Kyu decides that his laptop looks more appealing than I do, so he remains glued to his chair.

'Hmm, let's introduce ourselves properly shall we?' angel-face breaks the ice again. 'Since I'm the one suggesting it, I shall begin. I'm Super Junior's leader, teuki teuki Leeteuk~~~!' he beams. I glance to my sides and notice a few oh-no-not-that-again faces.

'I'm fishy Donghae!' a guy with sharp jawline exclaims. He is immediately tickled by the one sitting beside him, who continues by introducing himself as Eunhyuk the anchovy with a distinct Mokpo accent.

'Aishh pardon these little kids. They do this all the time. The one on your left is actually Eunhyuk while the one on the right is Donghae~' Leader-sshi corrects.

Eunhyuk and Donghae. Eunhae? I've heard of them from time to time. So this is the infamous 'couple' huh.

'YAH!! WHY ARE YOU GUYS EVEN INTRODUCING YOURSELVES TO AN ANTI?!' a pretty boy yells hysterically.

'Kim Heechul! Quiet!' Leader-sshi speaks again. The former leaves to his room sulkily, mumbling words like 'you guys are hopeless' along the way.

'That our Heechul. Temper hot, out control, but soft and care.' someone speaks in a tender voice. 'I'm Hankyung from China. My Korean bad, working on it.' I nearly burst out laughing at the 'soft and care' part (sanitary pads, anyone?) but manage to hold it in since nobody seems affected and dang, I wouldn't want to be murdered for doing the wrong things here.

'I'm Yesung, nice to meet you,' the guy opposite me introduces himself. He leans in towards me, for a handshake I suppose, so I follow suit and lean towards him too.

What comes afterwards is quick and unprecedented, and the next thing I feel is a finger on my philtrum.

OH MY HOLY ING GOD. THE HELL IS HE DOING??? I let out a huge scream, scrambling backwards to prevent him from doing anything weird. As if nothing has happened, he continues, 'AHH you must be interested in seeing my baby Ddangkoma and his friends!' and bounces off to one of the rooms.

I sit there dumbfounded, still recovering from the trauma of being touched by a stranger. I try to regain composure, but inside me I'm screaming to leave this place. No I'm not interested in seeing Mr.Ddang and friends. No omg who the heck are you. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY PHILTRUM. AHHHHHHHH!!!!

'Are you okay? Don't mind him, it's kind of a fet*sh for philtrums. God creates everyone for a purpose, and that is what makes Yesung hyung special I guess. Oh let me introduce myself. I'm Choi Siwon.' a tall man speaks and gives me a (proper) handshake. I calm down slightly, but not really paying attention to him. Instead, I'm busy recalling if I have any lawyer friends, just in case a lawsuit is needed. DAMN YOU GUYS HOW CAN YOU ALL BE CALM WHEN YOU'VE JUST WITNESSED A (weird but still) CASE OF S*XUAL (??) HARASSMENT HERE.

Note to self #2: There should be a law forbidding people to touch others' philtrums.

Coming back to reality, I take a look at this person who's still blabbering non-stop (talking about God and His wonders I think). There's something about the way he behaves, maybe the politeness in his words, or the frequent gestures, which makes me wonder if he's actually a businessman in disguise.

'Oh Shisus, quit your preaching already!' someone hisses.

'Kangin-ahh, you shouldn't speak to Siwon like this!' peace-loving leader-sshi tries to control the situation yet again. Like Heechul-sshi, Mr.Kangin shuts up immediately. Seems like leader-sshi is pretty respected by his dongsaengs eh. I secretly give him a salute. It is easy to take control over a person or two, but these 12 aliens here? NO WAY. By far, he's actually the only person I think who's more 'human' compared to the rest. Must be the angelic smile... YAH JI EUN AH, WAKE UP. Don't fall for their tricks! Remember what they did to your sister?? I hit my head hard, reminding myself again and again that the reason I'm here now is because of them.

'AHH I FORGOT THE BOILING SOUP!!!' a cute (and panicky) voice suddenly comes from my right. The guy (or boy, I can't really tell) jumps up and runs to the kitchen, trying to salvage the remains of the soup. Following him behind is an equally young-looking boy who opts to help, and the view of two little boys messing frantically in the kitchen is absolutely adorable. 

'That's Ryeowook, the eternal maknae and our chef! The one behind is Sungmin hyung, king of aegyo despite being one of the oldest members,' Mr-nice-jawline (what's the name again?) points out.

'How old are they exactly?' I ask.

'Minnie is 3 years younger than me so he's...29 this year. Wookie is a year younger so that makes him 28. Ahh we're old already,' leader-sshi sighs.

WHAT.THE.HELL. They're about ten years older than me!! Talk about baby face. I look down in embarrassment as I recall my complete negligence towards all skin care products which my mother had kindly purchased for me over the years.

'We're all old. Look maknae, he 27 years old now. Not the age 19 boy we meet when he first come,' Hankyung-sshi joins in the bandwagon of reminiscence. A few heads nod in agreement.

'But he behaves like a ten-year-old,' someone retorts. 'Kim Kibum, hi.' He speaks before I can even ask for his name. He doesn't look like someone with a lot of words, so I don't bother asking him anything else.

Finally, as if suppressing his inner clown for a long time, the last guy (a plump one to note) beams ecstatically, 'GENIUS SHINDONG HERE!!! I'm the entertainer of the group, and also th- Eh, is the food done? I smell curry~~' Okay he's clearly distracted by the fragrance coming from the kitchen.

'Yes, food is done~ c'mon dears time to eat!' Ryeowook-sshi responds in a motherly tone.

Just then, a door opens from one of the rooms. As*hole-who-touched-my-philtrum emerges, carrying two little turtles on his left arm, and a bigger one on the right. He slams the door with his foot and eagerly places his turtles within the circle of humans. Little does he know that everyone has finished introducing themselves and ready to leave for dinner, and by the time he notices, all the members are already standing up, laughing and giggling at his silliness.

'Aishhh I haven't introduced Ddangkoma to her!' is the only thing he could say before leader-sshi asks him to stand as well. So he does.

Alas, Leeteuk-sshi wraps up the session with a familiar 'Uri-neun Super Juni-'

'OR-EYO!' The members respond.

MY BOYS ARE BACK!!! I'm just feeling so asdfghjkl now omg. TBH, I've taken quite a long hiatus from Kpop due to school commitments and exams, and now listening to their old songs awakens the little fangirl in me T_T Ahh my SJ feels. Please show love and support to our boys' MAMACITA!! Super Junior, the last man standing! <3

Note: I just found out that Yesung had already donated baby Ddangkoma to a museum (see how outdated I am LOL) but I'm gonna keep it this way because...my SJ 13 feels... T^T

P.S. The list of censored words is craaayyy haha guess I shall use less offensive words in my coming chapters!