A/N: I wanted to try something different from more normal writing style. Let me know what you think please! I was having a tough day, and 5000 words later this is what I ended up with after listening to Stay by Rihanna on repeat.
 

*Spark*

• *Everyone thinks I’m crazy for breaking up with Woohyun.

Which is completely understandable after all, I had been with Woohyun for years before our split and we had no real problems. There wasn’t any fighting, no loss of love, no cheating or lies to tear us apart.

And it wasn’t like Woohyun was a bad man. On the contrary, he was one of the best; the type that you wished for, that you hoped would fall in love with you. He was the perfect package; a man with big ambitions who had an even bigger heart.

But that was the problem. Woohyun’s heart was so big, and he was so loyal that he never would have left me. Even when he should have done so I knew he wouldn’t. That’s why I had to do it for him.

• *Everyone thinks that I can’t do better than Woohyun.

Which could very well be true. Woohyun was gorgeous; the kind of handsome that was universally accepted. He had a killer smile and soft pretty lips; endearing and yet overwhelmingly y. His eyes were bright and clear; a look from him made you feel like the only person in the room.

His face wasn’t the only thing that was captivating; he had the body of an athlete, better yet even a model. I often joked with him that he could have chosen that profession if he had only been a couple centimeters taller. His body was hard and defined, solid and welcoming to my touch.

He was an amazing lover. He was the type who put his own needs last, who refused to find his own release until I had done so. He took care to learn what I liked, he took pleasure in the simple act of giving me pleasure. I knew I was more than lucky to have him.

• *Everyone thinks that I never truly loved Woohyun.

This is the part that hurts me the most. Because I did love him, I loved him more than I loved myself. I wanted to be selfish; to keep him close to me and never let him go. But he deserved better than that, and I knew that better than anyone.

I still remember our first kiss. I remember the date, the setting, the song that played on his laptop in the background. I had met him in a calculus class, a general education credit required for every student despite their major that I had put off until the last possible moment. I was terrible with math and he had noticed my growing frustration as the semester went on. He offered to tutor me, and we soon became friends over derivatives and caramel macchiatos (our favorite, we shared a sweet tooth).

We were studying in my dorm room at the end of the semester for our final. After this, we wouldn’t have any more classes together. He would go on to focus on his business degree, and I would continue on with communications. There wouldn’t be any need to have our weekly study sessions. I had noticed the whole night that he had seemed distant, not really engaging in any conversation. I thought that he wasn’t in the mood for studying, so I got up and offered to leave.

He had other plans for me, a firm hand on my shoulder preventing me from walking away. I can’t imagine not seeing you in class next semester. I can’t imagine not being able to hang out with you like this. I can’t imagine you not in my life. He turned me around then, pulled me close and kissed me. I remember the intensity of it, the slight tinge of desperation in his grip as he tried to convey all of his feelings in a kiss. I can recall the exact moment when I kissed back, the way his mouth opened up in a grin as his fingers tangled in my hair. Be mine? He asked me, and I didn’t hesitate to say yes.

• *Everyone thinks it was easy for me to walk away from Woohyun.

It wasn’t. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. But I know what I did was right, and that’s why I am able to sleep at night (even if I feel cold and alone after so many nights sleeping next to his warmth, wrapped up in his strong arms).

I realized that I wasn’t the man for Woohyun at the company Christmas party for his first real job. With a business degree and prestigious honors, he had received many good offers after gradation for internships. After a year building his resume, he got his big break when a job offer came through for him in Seoul. I remember the way he had rushed home, and I knew I was the first person he told. I can still feel his arms around me when he picked me up right in our living room, spinning me around in his excitement. I can still taste the stir-fried spicy pork, feel the heat of the food on my tongue and his gaze on my face. We made love that night right there in the kitchen, dreaming of a world full of infinite possibilities in the big city.

After the initial move, Woohyun worked many long hours and that had him dead tired by the time he came home to me at night. I never held it against him; I knew how desperate he was to prove himself at the company. It wasn’t often that junior associates were scouted like he was, and he was determined to show that he was worth the effort.

I often wondered how he was able to soldier on for so long, and I was curious just why he felt such a passion for his work. I found out that night at the party, surrounded by twinkling red and green lights lighting up bright smiling faces, that I wasn’t his motivation.

His name was Kim Sunggyu. He was handsome, a sturdy build with small but lively eyes. I had run into him while Woohyun was talking to one of his other co-workers. He introduced himself courteously, but he didn’t come off as the overly friendly type. He seemed like the type of man who wouldn’t entertain office gossip, who came to work to do just that: work.

But then Woohyun walked over to us.

My freshman year was full of those stupid general education classes that no one really paid attention in. One of them was English literature, and my particular professor had a penchant for Shakespeare and assigning us ridiculously long essays. We had to read all of the classics, so Romeo and Juliet was an obvious focal point in her class. We poured over the play for a solid month, discussing the importance of certain lines and monologues.

A line in particular that stood out to me back then. It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. It didn’t make sense to me then, but it did now. Because when Sunggyu saw Woohyun, he lit up. His body language became more open, the stiffness in his stance from before melting away in Woohyun’s presence. A smile played on his lips, understated but it was still there. I wondered if he even realized it. Even though the three of us were standing together, their bodies subconsciously angled towards each other. They moved towards one another as if there was magnetism between them, and I was struck by the fact that Woohyun had never gravitated towards me like that when I entered a room.

And that was it. Because when I saw Woohyun look at Sunggyu, I saw something in his eyes that I had never seen before. There was a spark. He introduced him to me, and Sunggyu kindly told him that we had already exchanged introductions. I saw a nervous smile come across his face, and a blush on his cheeks that hadn’t been there before. Woohyun further explained that Mr. Kim (call me Sunggyu, how many times do I have to tell you Woohyun) was his boss, the man that had chosen his resume out of the applicants for his position.

I saw a potential in him then, and I’m glad I went on my instinct and hired him even without an interview. He’s one of the hardest workers in the company. He will go far, there is no doubt about it.

Woohyun was beaming now, pulling on his suit in embarrassment after hearing the kind words from his boss. Mr.- I mean, Sunggyu. I’m just doing my job, you don’t have to-

Sunggyu smiled at him then, a real one that almost made his eyes disappear, and yet I could still see the fond look in them. He placed a firm hand on Woohyun’s shoulder and a shiver went through his body. I wanted to Woohyun. I have noticed how much effort you’ve put in this year. You’ve impressed me. I look forward to us working together more in the future. Enjoy your evening together. He nodded at both of us politely, before walking away. I saw Woohyun’s body move towards him, watching him walk away. Like a flower turns toward the sun. It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Sunggyu was Woohyun’s sun. Not me.

• *Everyone thinks I wasn’t justified in leaving Woohyun.

Woohyun never cheated on me with Sunggyu. I knew he didn’t without a shadow of a doubt. I knew he never would, no matter how large the temptation, or how strong his feelings would grow. I also knew that Sunggyu would never make a move on Woohyun; he just so happened to be one of the good men out there. He had to be, for Woohyun to be so enamored by him. Not that Woohyun knew he was, because I was blinding him. I was blocking Sunggyu's sunlight.

After my realization that fateful night, I tried to ignore the truth. I told myself that I deserved a man like Woohyun; that he loved me and I loved him back and that should have been enough. We had spent years together, and that had to matter for something. But then Woohyun would come from work in a wonderful mood, telling a story about something Sunggyu had said or a compliment he had received from his boss. And my heart would go tumbling all over again.

The breaking point came the night before our five year anniversary. Woohyun had been planning something, but was being secretive about exactly what that something was. I had told myself that this was just another reminder of Woohyun’s love for me, solid evidence that I was the one he belonged with.

Woohyun came home upset, slamming his briefcase on the desk with a huff. I didn’t even have to ask him what was going on before he started his rant. “My partner drops the ball, botches his report and now he’s saying that he needs me at the office tomorrow to help him fix it. Can you believe that?”

I felt the pang in my chest, this was sign it wasn’t meant to be. That we weren’t meant to be. “Woohyun, I-”

He cut me off. “Tomorrow was going to be perfect. I was going to take you to that new aquarium exhibit, I know how much you have been wanting to go see the sharks! Then we were going go to Bugaksan, have lunch at the top of the mountain. To top it all off I was going to take you on one of those cruises on the Han River, have a romantic dinner on the deck where we could see the water. They even have live music and everything!”

I was more than shocked. He had put a lot of thought into planning this for me. “Wow, Woohyun I’m honestly surprised. You’ve never really been the type for romance. I’m kind of amazed that you were able to put this together.”

He looked away sheepishly. “Well, I can’t exactly take all the credit. Sunggyu, you remember my boss, he helped me. A lot. We might have spent a lot of our lunches plotting together to make this perfect. He’s got a lot of good connections and it turns out he’s actually a big romantic. I never would have thought it, but once we started working together on this it really became something great.”

I felt the smile fall off my face. Of course Sunggyu had brought out this side of Woohyun. A side of him that I had never seen in five years of being with him. I could imagine it now, the two of them having private lunches in his office. Searching the internet for good ideas, calling to make reservations. Sharing smiles and happy glances over the thought of a day of romance. How many sparks had there been?

Woohyun hit his forehead. “Wait a minute, that’s it! Sunggyu! He’s the answer!” A beautiful smile spread across his face at the mention of the name. “He’ll want this to happen, so that all of the hard work we did together pays off." He nodded, excited about his idea. "Sunggyu will want to make this happen for me. I could call him; tell him that Sungyeol, my partner on this project, got behind on his work. He wouldn’t get Sungyeol in trouble or anything, but maybe he could give us an extension, let us do our presentation next week!”

“Your boss would do that? Extend a deadline just so you can have some time with your boyfriend?” I asked a little disbelieving.

Woohyun picked up his phone, unlocking it to call him with a simple press of a button. He actually had him on speed dial. “Well he wouldn’t do for everybody. But I know Sunggyu would do it for me.”

I yanked the phone out of his hand, ending the call before Sunggyu even had a chance to pick it up. Woohyun looked confused. “Dongwoo what-“

“We’re done.” I wiped my eyes, forcing the tears back. “Me and you. We’re over.”

“Because of my job ruining our anniversary? I'm upset about it too Dongwoo! That’s not fair, you didn’t even let me try to fix this. Sunggyu-”

“Yes Sunggyu! He’s the damn problem!” I was upset, and this was not how I wanted this to go but I felt horribly exposed; like my heart was getting stomped on by a pretty man with charmingly small eyes and a half hidden smile.

“He isn’t the problem, if you would have just let me call him he would have been the answer!”

“For you!” I felt the tears on my face now. “He is the answer for you, but not for me.”

Woohyun was shaking his head, trying to get closer to me, trying to hold me but I couldn’t let him. “Dongwoo please. I don’t understand where any of this is coming from.”

I gave him a small, sad smile. Because I believed him, I really did. I don’t think he himself even realized what was happening. But it was time for me to stop being selfish. It was time for him to see the truth. “You’re in love with Kim Sunggyu.”

He laughed, loud and shrill in confusion. “What? You think I’m in love with my boss?”

Woohyun was stubborn and determined; I wasn’t surprised that he would try to fight me on this. I wanted nothing more than to run out of our apartment, to curl up in a ball somewhere and my wounds. But I owed this to him. “Come sit down next to me Woohyun.” He obeyed, and I held his hand. I wondered internally if this would be the last time I got to do so.

“You could have planned our anniversary with me. I offered to help you with it multiple times, but instead you choose to do it with Sunggyu.” He opened his mouth to protest but I put up a hand to stop him. “Please let me finish. I’m trying to make you see that the reason you did that wasn’t to surprise me, but because you enjoyed spending that time with Sunggyu. When the two of you were together planning this, was the person you were truly thinking of me or Sunggyu?”

He stared down at his knees and I squeezed his hand. “Woohyun, we’ve been together for years and I’ve never been able to make you sit down and plan a vacation or a romantic evening. But with Sunggyu you wanted to. You looked forward to it. What does that tell you?”

Woohyun shook his head. “That doesn’t mean anything. I was doing it for you.”

“Yes, but you used me as an excuse to spend more time with Sunggyu… to get his attention. The question you have to ask yourself is why was that so important to you.”

Woohyun looked pale, absolutely sick as the weight of my words sunk into him. He wiped away a tear, and I knew that he finally understood. “But Dongwoo I love you. I will never cheat on you, I have never touched him I swear-“

“But you want to.” I looked him in the eyes, and I saw the guilt in them. “But you want to, don’t you?”

“Dongwoo, I’m supposed to take care of you. Just let me take care of you, I’ll be loyal, hell I’ll leave the company if you want, I’ll never see him again-”

“No. I can’t let you do that.”

Woohyun looked desperate, his eyes wet and wide. “But why not Dongwoo?”

“Because he loves you too.” Woohyun sat up straighter, his gaze perplexed. “I’ve known since the company party. When he saw you, he lit up like he was the damn Christmas tree. But Woohyun…” I couldn’t fight the sob that tore out of me. “So did you. When you saw each other, it was like there was no one else in the room. When your eyes meet, when he touched you, there was a spark Woohyun.” I cried in earnest then, letting the sadness wash over me as I realized that I was pushing my lover into the arms of another man.

“I told myself that I could forget about it. You’re a good man Woohyun, you would never think about betraying me. I know you would always be true to me. But at what cost? How can I say that I love you if I am the one holding you back? How can I force you to stay with me when I know that there is someone out there who is better for you?”

Woohyun own tears streamed down his face. It struck me then that I had never seen him cry like this; it hurt to see that he just how beautiful he was even in his sadness. “So you are just going to give up on our love, on the hunch that me and Sunggyu could be together?”

“Can you honestly prove me wrong? Could you look me in the eyes and tell me that years from now you wouldn’t look back on this moment and wonder what if? That you would be content with your life without ever trying to work things out with Sunggyu?” His silence was an answer in itself. I knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“You’ve always strived for the best Woohyun. You’ve worked hard to earn everything in your life. And I love you for that. But I can’t live the rest of my life knowing that you settled for me. And I deserve to be someone’s first choice.”

Woohyun smiled at me, sad, honest, broken. “I really do love you. I don’t want you to ever question that.”

I nodded. “I know. You just don’t love me enough.” I stood up slowly and he did the same. “You know, maybe everything happens for a reason. I’m happy that I met you. It’s good that I at calculus and needed your help. I will appreciate every single kiss we’ve shared, and be proud that I chose to move to Seoul to be with you. I won’t ever forget the way I felt when I fell in love with you. Because doing all of those things brought us here to this moment. And because of everything that we, me and you, Dongwoo and Woohyun, have done together… you’ve met Sunggyu. And if the best thing I get out of this relationship is that I helped you meet your one true love, then I won’t regret a single damn thing.”

Woohyun threw his arms around me, clutching me tightly as we cried together. This was truly the end. The end of our relationship, the end of us, and yet it was the beginning of his love story. “I love you Dongwoo. I’m sorry... I'm so sorry that I couldn’t be that person for you.”

“Make it work with Sunggyu. He seems like the type that would be stubborn about this, who might not give in easily even though he feels the same way. Make him take you seriously, make him see you as an equal. Make my sacrifice worth it.”

“I will. I promise I will. I’m so sorry Dongwoo. I only wanted to make you happy.”

“It’s okay Woohyun, you did make me happy. These past five years have been good ones. I’m not the love of your life. And you’re not mine. But that won’t make what we had any less real, or any less special. Maybe I wasn’t your sun, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was a star in your sky.” Woohyun nodded into my neck, and I knew he probably didn’t understand quite what I meant. His English lit professor didn’t love Shakespeare, but that didn’t make his whispers of apologizes and wishes that things could be different any less sincere.

• *No one told me how lonely I would feel without Woohyun.

The first couple of months, I couldn’t bare to see Woohyun. The wounds were too fresh, the sadness too sharp. I figured that one day we would be friends again, but I knew it would take me a long time and a whole lot of healing to get to that point. I had moved into my own apartment, a cozy little one bedroom in downtown Seoul. I entertained the idea of moving out of the city, but decided against it. Woohyun had made his own life here, so I could too.

He didn’t directly contact me after I moved out, but he made sure through friends that I had found a safe place to stay after leaving our apartment. He offered to let me have it of course, but I declined. I wanted a fresh start, so I could make my own memories.

I had only received one text from him since our break up. It was simple, and I had never felt such an urge to cry and smile.

Sunggyu and I are together now. Thank you for everything Dongwoo, and I can’t wait to hear that you’ve found someone too.

I didn’t have to text back; there was no need to. I was happy for him, happy that he had seized his chance and didn’t let the guilt of losing me hold him back. But that didn’t change the fact that I was falling asleep alone in a bed that now felt too big and empty.

Months has passed, life continued on. The days weren’t so bad; I still had my job, my co-workers were nice enough. It was the nighttime that haunted me, that made me wish that I wasn’t so alone. I watched television a lot nowadays, wrapping myself in the drama of the characters on the screen to forget my own pain. Tonight was one of my favorites, a sappy one with love triangles, hidden feelings, and time jumps that continued to keep me guessing. I connected to the drama on such a personal level, that I often found myself crying along with the people on the screen. I checked my fridge for my favorite ice cream; Ben and Jerry’s Karamel Sutra, the only men that had given me any action lately. I popped open the top only to frown at the small amount left inside. This wouldn’t do.

I pulled on a jacket, it was getting closer to spring but the wind still carried a light chill. I needed to hurry to the store and grab some reinforcements before my drama went on broadcast. I locked my door in a hurry, taking off down the hallway and immediately colliding into something hard.

“Ouch!” I rubbed my sore forehead and scrambled up to find myself staring at a man.

He pulled his head phones out of his ears with a worried expression. “I’m so sorry! I get caught up in my music sometimes-”

“No! It was my fault! I wasn’t looking where I was going, and I totally ran into you. The fault is all mine.” I stared at the ground covered in a blush.

He looked at the door I just came out of. “Oh, you’re the new tenant! I live by myself over in 2B.” My brain belatedly processed that he purposely told me he lives alone, but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking at me with those deep brown eyes.

I couldn’t really think of anything evolved to say, so I spouted off the first thing that came to mind. “Aren’t you cold?” He is wearing a tank top, the kind that showed off his nicely cut arms and toned chest, and a pair of loose basketball shorts.

The guy looks confused, so I gesture to his outfit. He laughs, a nice sound, before ruffling his hair. A nervous habit maybe? “Aish, I guess I’m not really dressed for good first impressions. I just came from a work out, so I guess I’m still hot.”

“No arguments there.” The words have tumbled out of my mouth before I have to chance to truly think them through. His mouth moves into a wicked half grin, exposing his sharp canines and my heart skips a beat for the first time in a long while.

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.” He says, and I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole. But it doesn’t, and we are standing in the hallway with a clear amount of tension hanging in the air.

“You know-”

“If you want-”

He smiles, all the way this time and it is so adorable that I want to scream. “You first.”

I ran my fingers through my hair, it’s gotten long again and I hope it looks reasonably put together. “I was just going to say that I was just about to watch one of my favorite dramas. You could join me? I mean, we could get to know each other, since we are neighbors and everything. I even have ice cream! Karamel Sutra, it’s really good. Or at least I will have it, I was actually on my way to get some more of it when I ran into your hot, I mean your hard, ah! Your body, I ran into your body and yeah. You should probably run away now, before I say anything else to further embarrass myself.”

He laughs again, before moving a step closer. “You’re even cuter when you’re nervous. I don’t usually like to go home with a guy on the first date, but I guess I’ll make an exception for you. After all, Karamel Sutra sounds pretty enticing.” I smile back at him, and I feel my nerves begin to dissolve away.

He glances at his door. “Maybe I could go take a shower and freshen up while you run to the store?”

I nod enthusiastically. I can’t believe he said yes. I can barely believe I had the courage to ask. “Yeah, that would be good since it would save us time. Here we can exchange numbers, I’ll text you when I get back from the store.”

We hand each other our phones, punching in our information before returning them. He gives me that half smile again, and finally turns to go into his apartment. “I’ll see you soon then… Wow. I’m just now realizing that I don’t even know your name. I guess I got caught up in those beautiful eyes of yours and forgot to ask.”

I step closer to him and give him a shy smile. “My name is Dongwoo. And yours?”

“I’m Hoya. It’s a pleasure to meet you Dongwoo.” He holds out his hand and I shake it. I feel a current of energy flow through me when he touches me for the first time. Our eyes meet again and I feel it.

 

• *No one told me that there was life after Woohyun.

I hear his door close behind me and I’m making my way into the city streets. I pull my phone out of my pocket, my hands slightly shaking in the cool night air, but I know it has nothing to do with the temperature.

I met a boy tonight. His name is Hoya and his smile makes me feel safe.
And when he touched me, there was a spark.

I send the text to Woohyun with a smile on my face. I think I this might be what moving on feels like.

Bonus
 

• *No one told me that I would cry when Sunggyu marries Woohyun.

But the tears are not sad ones; they are tears of joy. The two grooms look ridiculously handsome in their all black suits, and the happiness in their eyes is so clear that it becomes contagious. It’s a small affair, really just their parents and closest friends. Nevertheless, they look like the happiest couple in the world. Sunggyu is smiling that smile that makes his eyes disappear, and apparently Woohyun’s do too when he is looking at Sunggyu.

They finish their first dance, and Sunggyu’s mother comes onto the dance floor to steal her son away. Woohyun notices me sitting alone and gestures for me to join him. I wouldn’t dream of turning him down on his big day. We fall into a rhythm together, moving about the floor gracefully to the soft music.

“I can’t believe that you are actually a good dancer now. You used to be such a klutz.” I tell him, and he laughs wholeheartedly.

“You should thank your boyfriend. With his dance lessons and infinite patience, Sunggyu and I were able to wow the guests tonight with our perfectly executed first dance.”

“It was quite graceful. My boyfriend must be a miracle worker.” He smiles at me, but then his face suddenly gets serious.

“Is he treating you right? Does he love you enough?” The fact that Woohyun is so honestly worried about me warms my heart; I know he will always care for me in his own way. It’s why we were able to form such a strong friendship after our failed relationship.

I gave him a real smile and the worry disappears from his face as he smiles back at me. “He is Woohyun I promise. I know that I'm his first choice. He treats me... like I am his sun.” Woohyun rolls his eyes with a relieved laugh before pulling me in close.

“I’m so happy for you Dongwoo. I can’t wait until I get to dance at your wedding.” I know he is being truthful, and it makes me that much more thankful that we have finally gotten to such a good place, not only with each other but also with our significant others.

I see long, elegant fingers tap on Woohyun’s shoulder and he steps back away from me. “Mind if I cut in Woohyun?” He smiles at me, that same teasing grin with the canines that took my breath away so long ago.

Woohyun looks at me one last time before holding out my hand to him. “Not at all Hoya. Dongwoo is all yours.”

• *No one ever told me that the love of my life is Hoya.

But no one has to, because I know there isn't another guy in this world who is more perfect for me.

So my thoughts were really all over the place tonight. Have you guys ever been in love more than once? I have, and I can honestly say, for me, love felt different with each person. I feel like you don't know how different love can feel until you experience it all over again with someone new. That's what I wanted to convey with this story. Because to me, Dongwoo and Woohyun will always love each other.

It's just not that all encompassing love. It doesn't make it any less important, it just means that it wasn't their destiny. I feel like alot of people don't acknowledge that about love. Love doesn't have to last forever to change you.

I wanted to challenge the idea of Dongwoo staying with Woohyun because it was comfortable. Like he said, he could have chosen to stay with him, and Woohyun would have treated him well. But if he wouldn't have been willing to take a risk, he never would have gotten to experience that head over heels instant chemistry that he has with Hoya.

I feel like the unknown is so scary to most people, that they choose to stay in relationships that are not meant for them. I hope you all can recognize just how brave Dongwoo had to be to step out on his own. I choose Dongwoo for this story because I truly think he is a strong person. He strikes me as the type that would be anything for a friend, or a lover, because of how much he cares. I just had to give him a happy ending.

I seriously cried writing this, thinking about my past and being grateful about my future. I hope that you guys liked this, even though it kind of came out of nowhere. So I try to write angst, and I end up with fluffy Yadong at the ending.
I really don't know why you guys deal with me!

But if this preshy Hoya asked you for a dance at a wedding, you would be crazy not to accept!

And this is what I imagine Dongwoo looking like, filming his well wishes to the newlyweds.

Cause seriously those two look at each other like there is no one else in the room,
good lord tone it down with the proud husband doe eyed looks.

I don't know. I guess this brings another one of my stories to an end. I hope you guys liked it, or at least related to it somewhat!
Comment and let me know what you thought of it! <3 Lady Ray