Michaelmas Daisy: farewell

Chapter 5

Slowly and painfully, like some sort of zombie, I walked back to the house. When I entered, the party was in full swing. Dara was playing the entertaining and accommodating hostess, a role I’d never seen before and would probably never get used to. She was surrounded by a group of very pretty girls, all looking for the world as if they’d known her all their lives.

I glanced around and caught Jiyong sitting in the opposite corner with a group of four other guys. His eyes flicked over to Dara every few minutes, and it was like he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“Rin!” I heard a few squeals of delight as my friends formed a bubble around me.

They were all happy, and they were a bunch of my closest friends. And being girls that I’d known for ages, I could tell that they were only temporarily masking their sadness at having me leave. I was pretty sure that later when we were all in bed we’d be crying our hearts out. That was how close we were.

I struggled to be happy too. After all, this was my last few moments with them as well. But the previous scene with Joe kept replaying in my mind. My heart ached at the thought that we were now no longer together. We were both single. And while that would be a cause for celebration to most people, it was heartbreaking to me.

*****

“Goodbye bed… goodbye wall… goodbye door…”

“Oh will you shut up?” Dara groaned from her bedroom. “It’s just a house!”

“Maybe that’s all it is to you, but to me these things watched me grow up. I want to say goodbye to each and every thing!” I insisted, continuing in my room until I was satisfied.

“Okay now, let’s go. And let’s make an effort to speak in Korean from now on, alright?” Dara asked, rolling her eyes severely at me and dragging me outside.

“Wait, one last thing!” I wrenched myself out of her grip and ran to the kitchen. “Goodbye my dear fridge, I’ll never forget the countless times you’ve given me chocolate!”

“Ugh,” Dara laughed. “My sister’s gone crazy!”

“What happened to the speak-only-in-Korean rule?” I asked innocently.

“Oops…”

Within a few minutes, we were in a cab and my nose was glued to the window, making sure that I got every last glimpse of the house, then the neighbourhood, then anything familiar that I grew up around. I couldn’t stop the tears that leaked out of my eyes, and I made sure that Dara couldn’t see. Knowing my sister however, she was probably fantasizing about the perfect life we’d find there in Seoul. She’d been reassuring me every day since that first day that we were doing what was absolutely best for us. This was meant to happen; we wouldn’t regret this, blah blah blah.

What I couldn’t get out of my mind was Joe’s hazy eyes the last time we saw each other. With that thought, even more tears spilled over. A warm arm drew me in, and Dara soothed me as she patted my back. Moistness fell on my forehead, and I realized with a pang that my sister was also tearful to see her home left behind in the dust. She may be optimistic and strong for my sake, but deep down she was also hurting.

We reached the airport, and I jumped out of the cab to grab our luggage from the back. I picked up my backpack, slung it over my shoulder, and hauled out the two big suitcases that belonged to Dara and me – one each. I’d convinced her that since we were starting anew, we might as well get new things over there. Only our dearest things were packed into these suitcases, but that didn’t make them any less heavy. Grimacing, I yanked both suitcases in through the doors as Dara paid the driver.

I squeezed her hand as I handed her suitcase over. She gave me a wan smile and faced forward with a tinge of fear in her eyes. As I saw her bite her lip, I realized she was hesitating.

Before she could change her mind about anything, I grabbed her hand and tugged her onwards. “Let’s go,” I said in Korean, with a strength I didn’t feel.

And so, we made our way towards the gate where we would board our plane. We checked in the two large suitcases but kept my backpack and Dara’s handbag with us. I tugged my beanie more securely down over my ears and wriggled my toes in my shoes before we continued on our way. We passed numerous guards and security checks – all of which went smoothly. Then I saw it: the plane on which we’d travel to our new life.

At this point, I couldn’t deny the welling feeling of excitement and adrenaline which unexpectedly pumped through my system. The sense of overpowering nostalgia and dread faded away to a dull ache which I could push to the back of my mind. I flashed a bright smile at my sister to cheer her up. She was the one who now looked like a wreck.

“Naega jaeil jal naga!” I cheered softly, punching my hand in the air.

“Excuse me?” Dara gave me a look.

I rolled my eyes. “Have you forgotten your Korean already? I am the best, hello?”

“Oh.”

“Oh? That’s all you can say? It’s such an awesome line! It’s going to be my new motto. Naega jaeil jal naga! Hwaiting!” I said excitedly, trying to boost my sister’s morale.

“Yah! You’re so embarrassing!” she replied haltingly in Korean.

I grinned and pushed her towards the ladies’ room so that we could get ourselves cleaned up. We washed our faces and I got rid of the red around my eyes easily. Dara had to use concealer to get hers to completely disappear. She stared at her own reflection for a few minutes before determinedly tying her hair up into a high ponytail. It was another style I’d never seen before, but it looked good on her. She looked sporty and chic.

Inspired, I took off my beanie and let my hair spill out from underneath it. Then I plopped it firmly back over my hair, letting a few strands of my fringe come out from under it to cover my forehead. Satisfied, I nodded happily at Dara and we both walked confidently out of the room.

As I passed a row of seats in the waiting area, I caught a glimpse of someone who seemed familiar. When I turned back to look, I was completely nonplussed.

“Uh, Dara? You should come back here…” I said, shooting an arm out to force my sister to turn around.

She nearly screamed. “Kwon Jiyong?!”

He grinned and stood up, opening his arms out so that Dara could vault herself towards him. He caught her and spun her around, laughing along with her. Around them, the group who I’d noticed at yesterday night’s party clapped. Dara had introduced me to all of them – Seunghyun, Seungri, Taeyang and Daesung were with Jiyong the day before, while Chaerin, Bom, Minzy and Taeyeon were their good friends (girlfriends in a few cases) and who’d been with Dara.

“You’re all going to Korea?” I asked them, giving up hope that Dara would ask the question for me. She was too occupied with someone at that moment.

Minzy chose to speak up. She was closest in age to me, and we’d hit it off almost instantly. If she was really coming with us, I’d be really happy.

“We actually live in Seoul,” she said in her slightly-accented English. “We came over here with Big Bang to –”

“Yah Minzy!” Chaerin hissed aggressively.

“What? I said we came over here with this big gang to experience this country!”

Big gang? I could’ve sworn she’d said Big Bang…

Just then, an official announced that it was time to board.

“Oh, Dara, I think you’re sitting next to me, right?” Jiyong asked suddenly.

Dara glanced down at her ticket. “Oh right, I am! But, what about Rin?”

“I’m in 4-06. I’ll be fine alone. You go ahead,” I reassured her.

She looked hesitant, but she took in my confident expression and Jiyong’s pleading eyes and agreed. They left first, because she was in a whole section in front of me. The other eight followed too, and I was left alone in the waiting area outside the plane.

But pretty soon, it was my time to board, too.