FINAL II: YOU SAID (BUT I TOLD YOU SO)

» i can’t take you back, no, my heart won’t let me.

girl you know he can’t touch like i do,

i don’t see you trippin’ or flippin’ over his moves

don’t take a genius to see he ain’t that dude, but you let him back.

Soojung’s been told that crying isn’t good for her skin or some like that, but she honestly doesn’t care anymore.

The tears are rolling down her cheeks hard and fast, and Jongin is on the verge of panicking as he fumbles in front of her, unsure as to why she’s crying. And she can’t tell him, not now, can’t let him know about all of the mistakes she’s made.

The truth is, she can’t blame Sehun for pushing her away. She can’t blame him for telling her harsh things, for saying everything she’s always been too fragile to hear. Because those things are undeniably, irrevocably true, whether or not she wants to admit it. Soojung was the one who messed up. She thought she loved Jongin. She spent just a little more time with Jongin than Sehun for a few months and immediately she became a fool, mistaking her affection for Jongin as love.

But she really did love Sehun. She never lied to him about that.

And Jongin - what was she going to do about Jongin? The boy standing in front of her now, pulling her into a hug and holding her tightly against him, trying to stop her tears with soothing words that fall on deaf ears. She was so sorry. She hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. Jongin loved her; he made it so clear that he loved her. Sehun had always been quiet about these things, showing his affection in smaller actions, sweeter ones, rather than so obviously and blatantly and awkwardly the way Jongin did. Jongin was clumsy at love but he put his all into it, and now Soojung was going to responsible for breaking not just Sehun’s heart, but Jongin’s, too.

you don’t know what you was on

when you said, said he was the one

baby, yes you said, said you were in love

‘cause when you left me, you said that you wouldn’t be

coming back, remember that? but i never agreed.

Jongin leaves a little while later, after Soojung’s calmed down enough to force him to go to dance practice, assuring him that she was fine (far from it) and that he didn’t have to worry about her. As soon as she’s left alone, though, she sinks down onto the floor, her back against the wall. She stares miserably at the wall across from her, thinks about every word Sehun’s ever told her.

“I love you,” Sehun whispered against her hair. “Soojung…”

Sehun’s not the singer in his group, but there’s something about his voice that has always melted her heart, always gone straight through her and messed with her brain. Maybe it’s the shy smile on his face, or sometimes the dancing lights she can see in his eyes when he’s being mischievous, but when he said those words to her, Soojung didn’t think any other moment could make her happier.

But she let that go, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever get it back.

i hate to say it, but i told you so

told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable

guess he don’t do it like me, or else you wouldn’t be

running back to the past; it was you that left me.

Sehun’s heart is a mess.

He looks at Jongin and he’s torn between wanting to hurt him and wanting to tell Jongin the truth, that Soojung was going to leave him one way or another. But then he thinks about it again, and he knows that Jongin would prefer being bruised a million times over than know that Soojung doesn’t love him.

Sehun hates it, hates everything, hates how it’s come to this. The tension between the two of them is stronger now - at least before, Sehun had the courage not to blame Jongin. He wanted to try, because Jongin was still his best friend, and Sehun forced himself to remember that it’s not Jongin’s fault that Soojung left him, and most certainly not because Jongin loves her.

If he was honest, Sehun would’ve done the same.

But now...Jongin suspects something, and they can’t quite meet each other’s eyes. Jongin because he feels guilty, like he has no right to suspect Sehun of doing something when it was Jongin who technically stole her away in the first place.

Sehun finds it funny that it’s Jinri, though, who eventually storms into the EXO practice room and drags Sehun out, her fingers digging into his skin. When Jongin meets his eyes as he gets pulled forcefully out the door, Sehun knows it’s all over.

Soojung is leaving Jongin, and whatever fairy tale Jongin built around their relationship has shattered. Sehun can see it in the broken look that Jongin has in his eyes, the realization that’s dawning on him so hard and so fast, Jongin’s knees nearly give out.

Sehun doesn’t want to be responsible for the light going out in Jongin’s eyes, doesn’t want to know that he’s part of the reason that the childish happiness Jongin carries around has been burned straight out of him. But looking at him right now, Sehun knows, that a little part of that will always be his fault.

i hate to say it, but you know i’m right

every time you’re up, be callin’ for me late at night

“What are you doing?” Jinri asks, and she may be tall for a girl, but she’s still a good four inches shorter than him and so when she pokes him hard in the chest, Sehun barely flinches.

“What are you talking about?” Sehun asks right back, and Jinri takes a deep breath. He can see the way her fingers curl into little fists, and Sehun has to remind himself that this isn’t his fault, it’s Soojung who ed up.

He doesn’t really believe himself, though.

Jinri takes a few moments to calm down, to breathe through her defensive fury, because Jinri is Soojung’s best friend and she would go through hell and back if it would keep Soojung from hurting. She looks up at Sehun, and her eyes are sad and pleading, begging Sehun to meet her halfway. To understand.

Except Sehun understands perfectly, up until she asks him, softly, “Don’t you love her?”

His entire body stiffens, his heart stops in his chest and his eyes turn cold just to force away the pain digging into the cracks of his already broken heart. He hates that question, just for the fact that he knows the answer, and what Jinri is really asking of him. Why don’t you take her back? She wants you back, and you love her. Why don’t you take her back, Sehun?

but now that you ain’t got me, tell me where you gonna be

‘cause i can’t take you back, no my heart won’t let me.

He can’t. He can’t, because looking at her makes him want to cry, makes him feel like a child again, helpless and small and worthless, barely able to move his feet without tripping over whatever is in front of him. He can’t take her back, because she mangled his heart and it’s so deformed he doesn’t know if he can love her without destroying himself in the process.

“Sehun,” Jinri starts, but he turns away.

“Leave me alone,” he says, but it’s more of an order and he leaves her standing in the hallway, watching the practice room door slam shut.

you fell on hard times, it seems

but you ain’t gettin’ no sympathy

no baby, not from me

He catches her crying in an empty studio. The door isn’t locked and for some reason he opens it before he can think it through. Soojung is so lost in her emotions and thoughts and memories that she doesn’t even notice. She’s curled up on the ground with her knees pulled to her chest, her hair covering a part of her face, her hands limp in her lap.

He walks over to her and sits beside her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest. “Don’t cry,” he mumbles, and she just cries harder when she recognizes his voice, struggling to push him away. He’s stronger than her though, and holds her tightly against him, threading his fingers through her hair soothingly, if awkwardly.

It reminds him of his trainee days, seeing her for the first time, then the second, then the third, until they stuck so close that the company threatened to forcefully wrench them apart if they weren’t careful. But he texted and called her every night, and sometimes they snuck out at odd hours of the morning together, walking down streets or falling asleep in the practice rooms together.

“I’m sorry, I’m sor-- sorry, s-” Soojung stumbles over her words, hiccups interrupting her as she struggles to repeat apology after apology to him. She rubs furiously at her eyes until Sehun gently grabs her wrists and pulls her hands away from her face.

“You’re better than this,” he says softly, and Soojung looks up at him, wide eyes with tear stains on her cheeks, and when she smiles, it’s bitter and full of the kind of disbelief that Sehun knows is never going away.

“I love you,” she says, and it feels like a punch in the face, his heart constricting hard and fast, pain erupting in every bit of his emotional spectrum. He shakes his head.

‘cause i told you, you should never leave

see you chose this road, so you gotta go it alone

remember i told you so

“It doesn’t matter,” he manages to get out, standing up. She looks up at him from the ground, broken and small and tired, and he has to force himself to keep speaking. “It’s over. It’s been over. Just, end it with Jongin...tell him the truth. We can’t...this is never going to work. Please, Soojung. Just stop it.”

It sounds like he’s begging, and maybe that’s because he is.

i hate to say it, but i told you so

told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable

guess he don’t do it like me, or else you wouldn’t be

running back to the past; it was you that left me

Sehun knows, when Soojung finally calls it off with Jongin.

Jongin walks like a dead person a solid ninety percent of the time, always sleepy and endlessly tired from practicing late hours. But he lights up around Soojung, finds energy from simply thinking about her, so when Soojung leaves him, Sehun can see the effect it has written all over Jongin.

Jongin doesn’t look at him, doesn’t talk him, for days.

i hate to say it, but you know i’m right

every time you’re up, be callin’ for me late at night

but now that you ain’t got me, tell me where you gonna be

‘cause i can’t take you back, no my heart won’t let me.

Soojung doesn’t call for months. She gives him sad smiles in the hallways sometimes, and never dares to look at Jongin. They all laugh together on stage in front of the fans, but Jongin’s smile never reaches his eyes, and Krystal’s always looks a little sad. Sehun wonders what he looks like.

It’s the middle of the night on one of those days when both Jongin and Sehun are too tired to even sleep, and Kyungsoo’s shuffling around in the kitchen making them hot chocolate because he’s got a soft spot for Jongin that he won’t admit to (he’d never do this for just Sehun, that’s for sure), when both of them get a text. The soft ding of Jongin’s phone and the buzz of Sehun’s phone vibrating happens at almost the same time, and they both look at each other with the same name crossing their minds.

Jongin and Sehun have been tense ever since Soojung chose Jongin over Sehun; even worse when she left Jongin with hardly any explanation save for the way she looked at him with sad eyes and then at Sehun with sadder ones, but it’s at this moment that they both finally decide to give up, to move on, because above all, Sehun and Jongin are friends, brothers, and brothers get through everything together.

Jongin reaches for his phone first, and Sehun watches as Jongin swipes his thumb across the screen before Sehun finally reaches for his own. He looks down at the message, then at Jongin, and there’s pain written all over Jongin’s face.

    jung soojung 1:48 AM

        I’m sorry.

i can’t take you back, no.

AUTHOR’S NOTES;

holy crud i was supposed to upload this forever ago like six months omg i’m so sorry for making you guys wait

akjsfhkashdkjasd and i’m even more sorry that this is ty and it’s not done yet there’s an epilogue waiting

and i know some of you guys wanted sestal or kaistal but

tbh

sekai tho

LMAO jk but honestly i never intended for either of them to get with krystal b/c she really did need to figure herself out first before she could really be with either of them; the krystal in this fic wasn’t mature enough to be in a relationship and she matures by you know

realizing that

LOL

she does it by understanding that she needs to sort her emotions out and understand that love isn’t something that’s easily thrown around; she mistook affection for love when it came to jongin and now we will never know if she really loved sehun in the first place either if she could so quickly fall for jongin

so yeah

tl;dr sorry sorry sorry sorry for not updating this in forever and also sestal/kaistal wasn’t ever going to be a thing b/c reasons

….idk when the epilogue will happen/if it will happen

so don’t get your hopes up LOL /crawls into corner of shame