[REC ►]

“So…here I am…talking to myself…ummm…where were we up to? I think it was when he started to tutor me. Needless to say, I did pretty well in the next test. I had a habit of staring out the window and zoning out, but when I was with him, I couldn’t help but stare at him. Instead of zoning out, my mind was zooming in on everything he did. His eyes, his lips, his nose, his ears, his hands, his body…I paid attention to everything…letting my guard down around him. I don’t know what to say. I’m really grateful to him, because he stood by me even when everyone else in school ignored me. Through him, I made new friends, because he introduced me to his group, but still…I considered him to be my best friend…and I became his best friend…

…even till today…I’m still…just a friend…”

Hayoung had just gotten her test results back. They were flipped over on her desk, right in front of her. She took the bottom left hand corner and began to turn it upwards until the paper was completely turned. She looked at her mark, and smiled. 97%, and she had Sehun to thank. When the bell rang to signify the end of class, Sehun made his way over and excitedly ask what she received. She showed him the page and he made a fist pump into the air. He ruffled her hair and then put his arm around her shoulder.

“What did you get?”

Sehun showed her his paper and Hayoung scoffed. He had achieved full marks, and although Hayoung showed that she was outwardly pissed, she was really happy for him.

“Of course! Hey! Are you sure you’re not withholding any information from me? Why do I get a 97 and you get a 100 when you’re the one that teaches me?”

“I just have greater skills…but seriously…let’s celebrate?”

“What do you mean?”

“It means that we’re going to have some fun later…you’re not going home straight after school!”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise…just meet me at the front gates!”

Hayoung couldn’t wait for school to finish. She was excited about what Sehun had planned. When the bell rang, she pakced up immediately and ran straight out of class. She was first to the front gates, and she was trying to think of a pose which would hide the fact that she was excited. When he tapped her on the shoulder a couple of minutes later, her smile got big, but faltered when she saw that he had brought along some of his friends.

“Let’s go?”

“Yeah…”

They went to a bowling alley, and played in teams. It was Hayoung’s first time, and she was really clumsy, but she had an enjoyable time. She like his friends, she really did, but all she wanted was to be alone with Sehun, and she didn’t want it to be because he was tutoring her or they were studying. She wanted to have fun, with him, like this.

[REC ►]

“I don’t remember when I started falling. Or maybe it was from the first moment we met. But I do remember the moment that I realised my feelings were more than just ‘friendly’. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Should I confess? Should I not confess? Should I just hope that these feelings go away? I lost sleep over these questions and I lost sleep over him. Maybe it was because I was the broken girl that he fixed up. Or maybe it was because it’s in his nature to be a caring person. Or maybe it was because he really was a good friend, but he always made me feel special, and he had this look in his eye when he saw me…I was probably delusional back then…already blnded by love but I didn’t know it. All I knew was him…and it was probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life…”

Hayoung had gotten a cold, and decided that she couldn’t go to school. By the time she knew that the first school bell rang, she received at text from Sehun.

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Sender: Sehun

Hayoung-ah! Where are you? It’s only the start of the day and I miss you!

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Sender: Hayoung

Mian! I have a bit of a cold. I’ll be back at school tomorrow…

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Sender: Sehun

Awww…poor baby…feel better! Do you mind if I come around your place after school? I need to see my Hayoung at least once a day…

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Sender: Hayoung

Sure. You know my address right?

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Sender: Sehun

It’s a date then…

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Hayoung couldn’t stop the smile on her face. Even though she had a massive headache and a blocked nose, she couldn’t have been any happier. True to his word, Sehun came over straight after school, and he also brought over some chicken soup, flowers and the work she missed out on complete with his notes.

“You didn’t have to do this…”

“I wanted to…I need you better so that I can see you at school tomorrow…”

Hayoung looked into his eyes when he said that, and she thought they were twinkling.

[REC ►]

“I wanted to confess to him…but the words wouldn’t come out…I still didn’t know if I could handle rejection…so I decided to keep my mouth shut and watch him walk away into the arms of another girl…”

There was a school dance and Sehun had managed to convince Hayoung to come. However, he was still in the process of convincing her to dance.

“See, this is why I told you that you shouldn’t have brought me!”

“Come on! Just one dance! I promise it’ll be fun!”

“No! I at dancing…”

“I’m sure you’ll be great…”

In the middle of their banter, someone approached Sehun. Hayoung recognised her to be someone in their grade, but she didn’t know who she was.

“Hi…”

“Hey…”

“Ummm…I don’t know how to say this but my friends dared me to ask you for a dance so…”

“Sure…this one doesn’t want to dance with me anyway…”

Sehun stuck his tongue out at Hayoung and then walked away with the girl. Now, Hayoung wished she said yes to him for a dance.

Hayoung woke up in the middle of the night to a nightmare. Not her nightmare, but to Sehun’s. She turned to face Sehun and found his faced contorted with some sort of pain. She reached out to touch his forehead and found that it was dripping with sweat, but she didn’t care. She away the hair that was stuck to his forehead, until his face relaxed, and then caressed his arm until she was sure that he was okay. When she turned away and then closed her eyes to drift off to sleep, she heard him mumble something that made her realise that she was living her personal nightmare.

“Hyerin-ah…I…I…”

And then Sehun groaned and turned to lay on his left side.