The rain pattered mercilessly across Seoul city, the wind howled along in despair. Youngjae dribbled the ball skillfully towards the goal, aiming only to miss for the umpteenth time. 

'Don't worry Jae, I'll get it in the goal next try,' he thought to himself. 

The night was darker than usual as rainclouds masked the usually starry night sky. The rain started hammering down making the field muddy and slippery. 

Just as Youngjae prepared to shoot again, his footing went amiss and he ungracefully fell on his behind. Unlike before, Youngjae didn't console his dwindling feelings, or make an attempt to try again. He just sat there. The rain and his sweat had become one as they soaked his hair and clothes. 

As he stared off into the distance, he thought to himself.

'Why can't I be good at something? Daehyun is good at singing. Himchan hyung is good at cooking. Jongup is good at dancing. Zelo is good at rapping. Yongguk hyung is good at everything. How can a person who is good at everything notice a person who is good at nothing?' 

"Who is good at nothing?" 

Shocked, Youngjae shot up at the speed of lightning. He looked over the individual with wide eyes before letting out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. 

"Oh, it's you, Yongguk hyung." 

"Yeah." A silence passed between them. Yongguk gave him a small smile. He stood there holding a large black umbrella, in a pair of faded blue jeans and a black hoodie.

"So... what are you doing here?" 

"I was looking for you." 

"Oh, well... Here I am," Youngjae giggled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Who were you referring to earlier?" Yongguk asked in a soft voice. 

Youngjae sighed before folding himself onto the muddy ground. He was surprised as Yongguk joined him, ruining his jeans. Yongguk aligned the umbrella over their heads before looking back to Youngjae. 

"Tell me." 

Youngjae sighed again.

"Have you ever felt like... You're not good enough? No matter how hard you try? And you're not even trying for yourself - well, I guess in a way you are. But it's more for another person? Do you know what I mean?" 

"Trying to meet someone else's expectations?" Yongguk offered.

"Yeah! Yeah, but not just anyone... That special someone. And you just feel... That you're not good enough. That they won't ever notice you because you're so pathetic..." Youngjae mumbled as covered his face with both his hands. 

Yongguk didn't say anything, but just watched the younger in sadness. He wanted to help him, to love him and show that to him. Youngjae was an outstanding singer and student – he didn’t need anything else for a person to want him. Yongguk wanted to tell Youngjae that just by being himself, he was perfect enough. ‘If they don’t love him by now, they don’t deserve him,’ Yongguk thought.

Youngjae had not forgotten about Yongguk's presence. He loved how Yongguk could sit by him without saying a word and still feel comfortable. He had fallen for Yongguk a few months after they had met, and had never missed noticing his heart skipping a beat since. Yongguk always knew the right things to say and when to say them, he was a person with such an enlightening charisma that Youngjae wished to always be blessed with his presence. Even his best friend Daehyun couldn't make Youngjae feel the way Yongguk did. 

“I wish that person knew how I feel,” Youngjae muttered.

“Who is it?” Yongguk feigned curiosity; he knew the answer would make him suffer. Yongguk knew that a cute, talented, intelligent, funny guy like Youngjae would never be interested in a creepy, average person like himself.

“You don’t want to know...”

“Of course I do, I’m your hyung, I care about you, Jae.”

“That’s exactly why – because you’re just my hyung, Guk. You don’t understand! You’ll never know how I feel... about you.” Youngjae whispered under his breath, his tears blurring his vision entirely.

Youngjae’s whispering hadn’t gone unheard of by Yongguk. He sat there, frozen, not believing his ears.

“How you feel about... me?” Yongguk stared  at Youngjae, his eyes wide and mouth open.

“Forget what I said, hyung. It was a mistake, sorry.” Youngjae scrambled up to his feet and attempted to run away before Yongguk caught hold of his hand.

Yongguk had dropped the umbrella, his hair was already dripping, his hoodie damp.

“Is it... me? You like... me? You’re doing this because of me?”

Youngjae nodded sadly, wishing he could’ve escaped.

“You don’t understand how much I like you, hyung. You’re so cool, smart, and you’re good at everything. You’ve always helped me when I needed it and encouraged me when I was about to give up. You influenced me to be a better person. Your voice is always so warm, it makes me so happy, it makes me feel safe. I’ve always wanted  to tell you this but I’ve never felt worthy enough because there’s nothing  noteworthy about me. You deserve more. Someone like Himchan... or Zelo.”

Youngjae grazed his foot across the dirty ground, watching the spikes on his shoes make patterns on the earth. Yongguk stood silent for a moment, his heart beating rapidly. He couldn’t accept the situation thinking that it was just a dream. The tear running down Youngjae’s face, however, proved that it was indeed real life.

“Jae, look at me.” Youngjae shook his head and looked at Yongguk’s feet.

Yongguk reached out and pulled Youngjae’s chin up. Youngjae tried to jerk away but Yongguk’s grip was too strong.

“Hyung, please, this is embarrassing enough.” Tears escaped Youngjae’s eyes, making him groan in humiliation.

“What’s embarrassing about telling the one you like that you have feelings for them? I can’t believe you apologised as well. Never apologise for saying what you feel. I thought I’ve taught you better than this. But you’ve been very brave so far. I’m happy that you said this to me today.”

“You are?” Youngjae gazed into Yongguk’s eyes with uncertainty.

“Yes, I am.”

With that, Yongguk lowered his lips down to Youngjae’s, trapping his bottom lip ever so softly between his own. Youngjae responded quickly, eyes closed, his lips clinging to  Yongguk’s as if it was his lifeline.  Yongguk’s free hand quickly found Youngjae’s, entwining their fingers. Youngjae caressed the side of Yongguk’s neck, feeling it’s thickness.

Yongguk pulled away first, chest heaving, gazing into Youngjae’s eyes with love and need.

Upon catching his breath, he said, “Youngjae, you don’t need to change for me. You’re already everything that I’ve ever wanted, that I ever needed. You know that I’m not one of many words, and I sincerely apologize for not saying everything that you’d like to hear, or that I’d like you to hear. But I know that... I know that I love you. And that neither Himchan nor Zelo can offer me as much as you do. You’re the one I’ve always wanted. You are the apple of my eye.”

Youngjae pulled his hand away from Yongguk’s and wrapped his arms around Yongguk’s neck, smiling happily into it. Yongguk hugged Youngjae’s waist before leaning back and kissing his forehead.

“I love you too, Gukkie.”

Youngjae felt safe and happy inside Yongguk’s arms, knowing that he didn’t need to be perfect – he just had to be himself.