I was in the midst of cradling the usually confident, larger-than-life Key, when I felt a presence behind us. I turned around, loosening my grip on Key a bit. I saw white slippers, white fitted pants adorning thin legs, pale skin, and a white jumper. Light. I saw light. With my vision blurred with tears, I could not tell who it was. In my desperation, I swore it was an angel. A hand, half covered by the long sleeve of the white jumper pushed back hair blacker than night. The figure stepped towards us and as my vision cleared, so did my mind. It was the very person who needed to see me, but I was with the very person he could not even look at. 

"Taemin..." I gasped, looking up at him in panic. I wasn't sure if I was cowering from him, fearful of what he was thinking and what he would say, or looking up at him helplessly, ready to beg for his assistance. Either way, it was massively uncomfortable. In my years as a professional, I never found myself in situations where I was Out of the people I had met here, Taemin was to me, the most unsociable and the one I knew the least, hence the anxiety I experienced after receiving his message. I was still hovering over the intoxicated whirlwind that was Key, trying to grip on to any piece of his elaborate ensemble in order to ground myself. 

The moments that passed by while I just simply stared at Taemin, unable to say anything, went by slowly and painfully. Taemin was still standing there in his white slippers, slightly fidgeting with the sleeve of his jumper. His face was unreadable. He looked neither angry nor annoyed which at first gave me slight relief. After a few more haunting, all too silent moments of Taemin standing there, like a ghost, I realized he also did not looked concerned. There was no crease in his forehead. No eyebrow furrowing. Nothing. He was emotionless, as if this was a normal, common occurrence. The slight glimmer in his eye was unreadable as well. He looked as if he could burst into tears and cradle the love of his life just, but he also looked like he could do just the opposite. I was worried he was going to roll his eyes and laugh in our faces and say that Key should just stop trying and that I should not encourage or involve myself.

I wanted to be disgusted at Taemin. I desperately wanted to take Key’s side. Here he was, his own emotions moving him and rendering him an incoherent heap on the street. I wanted to shake Taemin violently out of his trance so he could clearly see that Key was going to give his all to fix them. I was ready to go off on Taemin, but as I felt an furious strength return to my legs, as I was finally able to stand, slightly bent to one side in order to still comfort Key, I saw how much of a wreck and a victim Taemin was of this tumultuous relationship as well. Taemin, so pure, so bright, looked sickly pale, blank, and exhausted. His young facial features were encased in deathly grey-purple dark circles. The youthfulness that a person with such soft features and wide eyes should have, was nonexistent in Taemin. There was horror and experience behind Taemin’s unrelenting state. I felt myself succumb to the sadness I felt for Taemin. I dropped the wailing Key’s hand just for a moment so I could do something I absolutely never thought I would do. I walked a few steps towards Taemin and held out my arms to him. The boy I was genuinely terrified of because of how sinister and unpredictable he could be was the one I was offering my comfort to. I came to the conclusion that my affections weren’t useless, since both Jonghyun and now Key had sought them out themselves. With the reassurance of an older brother trying to convince the younger that it wouldn’t hurt if he just gave into the warmth and comfort of a hug, I stretched my arms out wider and shook them a bit. Through the puffiness of my face and the sticky tear trails, I smiled slightly. I needed Taemin to know that no matter what, I was there at this moment. Taemin’s face softened a bit from his previous stare, but he still did not move. The only noises that could be heard were a distant siren moving away from us and Key’s agonizing cries. 

“If we speed this up, we can get him inside maybe.” I spoke after millions of moments passed since I first saw Taemin emerge. My voice was raw from crying, and inexperienced after going so long without saying much. I held steady with Taemin. Taemin’s shoulders collapsed forward and in a split second, the bony, lithe dancer was in my embrace. Although he had a couple of inches on me, he was still able to place his head in the crook of my neck, his slightly outgrown black locks obstructing his face, like a black cloak. His long, almost rubber-flexible arms hooked around my shoulders and his smaller hands grasped at the fabric of my shirt. He was putting all of his weight on me, but he didn’t weigh a thing. I gave into the embrace completely, trying to find a way to comfort Taemin, although we barely knew each other. He didn’t cry, which concerned me. He just shivered, moving back and forth between his feet, trying to find warmth from me at different angles. I tried to hold him still, wishing he would say something. 

The relaxed nature of Taemin’s limbs all of a sudden changed. All of his muscles flexed as he ripped himself away from me abruptly. “Did you bring him with you?” Taemin said, in a low voice, pointing in Key’s direction, but not daring to actually look at him. 

“No I didn’t. He was outside when I got here.” I gulped, worried about what Taemin would say. 

“Grab the moron, carry him in. Do you like tea?” As soon as Taemin uttered these words, he his heels and walked into the apartment building. I looked after him, frozen for a moment. He was allowing Key to come in. I immediately scrambled to grab Key, who was still wracked with emotions. He was a bit quieter, though. As I carried who I thought was such a confident, untouchable person, I wished that Minho had warned me about something like this. And I wished Minho was here, with me. 

I followed Taemin up the narrow staircase of his building. It was a tight squeeze with Key being carried bridal style, so I set him down and allowed him to cling to my back instead. Key was also much lighter than I expected, even with all of the garb and heavy shoes he sported. A few steps up, I heard music and chatter. I looked at Taemin for an explanation. He turned around and signaled that I should be very quiet by putting his finger to his lips. I nodded. 

Unfortunately, in my effort to be as silent as possible for a reason I wasn’t aware of, I stepped on what turned out to be the wrong side of one of the wooden steps, which emitted an extremely loud creaking noise. Taemin turned around once again and glared at me. On the flight we were almost up on, the first door to the left opened. Apartment 6 opened its chipped door and a tall, slender woman with a low cut, long sleeved, rather short black dress appeared. She had pale, clear skin, unique eyes with a glimmer of something I couldn’t place in them, and wore thigh-high leather boots with lots of fringe on them. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a ponytail which cascaded down her back in a straight, golden waterfall. Her makeup was very daring, but not unappealing. She leaned against the doorframe, with one of her heels up on the wall as she smoked a cigarette. I couldn’t help but notice her equally daring nails, perfectly polished in a black varnish, and cut into perfect points. Golden rings crowded her hands. Although I had discovered that I was not attracted to women necessarily, she did have this sensuality about her that made you want to be apart of her world. I wanted to hear her talk and say something wildly interesting. 

She took another drag of her cigarette and then spoke, in a  slight melodic rasp. “Taeminnie sweetheart, are you going to introduce me to this fine specimen in front of me? Honestly Taeminnie, show some manners for your mum.” the woman smiled with the corners of her glossed lips. She stared at Taemin and so did I. His mother? This woman? I looked at Taemin for more of an explanation. 

“Ah. Fine. Jinki-ssi, this is Hyo noona, or Hyoyeon. She thinks she’s my mother still. She got me this apartment and runs her business here.” Taemin rolled his eyes, saying the word business with a bit of a acerbic humor, as if he poked fun at Hyo constantly for it. 

The woman known as Hyo stepped forward and half-punched Taemin in the shoulder. “Yah Taeminnie. Don’t look down on me. The business is purely run on mutual consent and pleasure.”

Hyo then turned to me to further explain. Her eyes sparkled and like the others, she was dynamic and oddly intriguing. 

“There’s nothing wrong with experiencing different types of , right Jinki-ssi? There is a fair pay system here and strict rules that are followed. Not legal, but certainly not unsavory.” Hyo explained. With her eccentric hand gestures and intense stare, I honestly would’ve believed anything that she said. I found myself wanting to talk to her more, not because I was interested in her, but because she was new to me. Her views were so free and she was uninhibited. 

“Alright. Noona, we’re busy. We have to take our leave.” Taemin snapped, bringing me back to the seriousness of the situation. 

“I didn’t even notice poor Key.” Hyo stepped closer to me, inspecting the shivering Key. There was a look of empathy on her face. She took a perfectly manicured hand and brushed back Key’s matted black hair and wiped away the last remains of his heavy tears. She clicked her tongue and turned back to Taemin. 

“He loves you.” She said firmly, staring down Taemin. 

“He put money down on Minho. He bet on my best friend’s death for a greasy low-life. I thought he would never go this far. I am done.” Taemin spat back. Hyo winced, as if his words were stabbing her. 

“You love him. Two can play the game of ing up a relationship.” Hyo said harshly. She then proceeded to slap Taemin slightly on the face and then kiss his cheek where she slapped him. She  then looked at me, smiled slightly, stomped out her cigarette, and glided back into her apartment, closing the door loudly behind her. 

I said nothing. I just stared at the recently closed apartment door. I then cautiously looked at Taemin. He was looking down at the floor, trying to hold it together. 

“Don’t say a thing. Follow me.” Taemin choked out. I did as he said. I kept on saying nothing, as per usual. I still did not have the strength to speak up. Not since the case. 

We arrived at another door with chipped paint. Apartment 23. We walked in and it was not what I expected. For some reason I imagined his apartment would be as pure and adorned in white as he was, however, that was not the case. The wooden floor was covered in mismatched rugs. A rickety four poster sat in the back corner of the room, with old quilts hung over the sides to create privacy. Oil infusers and candles lined the two windowsills in the apartment. Not too far from the door was a wicker living room table surrounded by large floor pillows. On top of the table were stacks and stacks of cassette tapes, all written on in a messy scribble. Taemin’s old boom box which I saw him use to dance on the street corner sat on the floor next to the table. The whole room smelled of citrus essential oils. In the other corner of the apartment adjacent to the bed was an extremely small, barely equipped kitchen and a few cupboards. The whole apartment was scattered with random lamps, some on the floor, some on stacks of records and books. There was something so makeshift, yet comforting about Taemin’s apartment. It was slightly messy, a bit run down, but it made Taemin more human in my eyes. He sought comfort and simplicity, and he found it in this apartment. 

While Taemin was finishing flipping on some more lamps, he eyed me. “There’s no couch, put him on my bed.” 

I complied and set the still shivering, disheveled, near-unconscious Key on the four poster. I covered him in the blankets. I immediately saw Key relax while breathing in what I knew was a familiar scent to him. The essence of Taemin calmed him down. I continued to make sure Key was alright, when I noticed more tears were streaming down his face. These were not violent, destructive tears, but slow, quiet, yearning tears. In his exhaustion, Key brought up the top of the covers to his nose and breathed in. It was heartbreaking to watch Key try to hold on to any piece of Taemin he could. I wanted to once again turn around and scream at Taemin to say something. He told me to come to his apartment to talk to him and yet he continued to say nothing to me or about Key. 

I turned around ready to yell at Taemin to have a heart and take care of Key, but I had to stop myself. Taemin was on his knees in front of me, looking up, eyes swimming with angry tears. 

“When will it end, Jinki hyung?” Taemin asked, voice breaking. He called me hyung for the first time. That did not go unnoticed. 

“Taemin, talk to me. You tell me you need to talk to me in a message and I am here with the one you love, who is over there trying to hold on to anything he can that reminds him of you. I thought he was going to cry himself to death outside. He needs you and you need him.” I got down on his level, and immediately, I became an older brother again. I all of a sudden felt as though Taemin and I grew up together as siblings, able to talk to each other. 

“I asked you over here to talk about Minho hyung. He obviously has a soft spot for you. And I wanted to talk to you about watching him while you’re here. I don’t know why you’re here and how someone like you hasn’t left yet, but you defend people, right? That’s your job. You have to for however long you’re here. Minho...he...he rarely comes home these days and he is not letting his wounds heal. Jinki hyung, he is my best friend, you can’t let him keep getting so hurt.” Taemin cried, holding tightly onto the hem of my shirt. I blushed at the thought of Minho thinking so much of me. He was beautiful and so surprising and so caring. There was nothing I didn’t love about Minho, except his propensity for street fighting. 

“Taemin, of course I will watch out for him. I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, but I...I’ll do it.” I answer, feeling so much warmth towards the the younger boy in front of me. He was asking me to do something monumental. I had just been tasked with watching over the person I was very honestly falling for. If I wasn’t so concerned for Taemin and Key at the moment I would have let the terrifying thought of falling in love with Minho get louder inside of my head. 

I allowed myself a moment to collect my thoughts. Taemin was still ignoring Key and that angered me, although Taemin’s teary expression of concern for his best friend alleviated some of my anger. Bets and dirty money would have repulsed me before, but the desperation of these people altered my thinking. They did it to survive. Both Taemin and Key, destined, I’m sure to be with each other, were hurting each other so severely and so simultaneously, that there was no possible way that they could ever have a stable, healthy, nonviolent relationship unless it was to be fixed. I didn’t even know if I was qualified or had the right to intervene, but I was here, in between two people who were more in love than I had ever seen two people be. I lost every part of myself because of betrayal and violence and secrets, and so, in this moment I promised to not let that happen to these poor souls.

“Taemin-ssi...T..Taemin-ah,” I corrected myself, trying to be less formal and more caring. Taemin looked up at me in surprise at the name, but didn’t object.  

“It’s time to talk to Key.” I said, softly, but firmly. Taemin’s eyes traveled over to Key. Taemin sniffled and tried to swallow a heavy 

Maybe you won’t forgive him, but at least go over and tell him you love...”

Before I could even finish my sentence, a huge bang sounded out. It was coming from the hallway. Taemin’s desperate and teary facial expression changed to one of sheer panic. A darkening of Taemin’s face was followed by the sounds of distant sirens. I tried to grab Taemin’s shoulder to get his attention, but I was startled by the door of the apartment swinging open violently. 

My heart rate picked up immediately while my stomach sank in the most sickening, knotted way as I saw a bloody-mouthed Minho, wearing his usual training outfit without shoes. He was panting heavily, his large eyes were wide with the same panic I saw wash over Taemin. Taemin immediately jumped up and embraced the exhausted, equally terrified Minho. Minho hugged him back quickly and looked at me over Taemin’s shoulder while he used his large, bony hands, the same ones he held mine with, to smooth down the back of Taemin’s hair. My heart melted at the scene, but I stood up, unable to wait any longer to hear what Minho had to say. 

Taemin pulled away and looked up at his best friend. Minho still said nothing, which I could tell irked Taemin too. I saw as Minho’s large, scared eyes darted around the room. It didn’t take long for him to notice Key and immediately hoist the exhausted figure onto his back. Minho winced when Key made contact with his shoulders. I could only assume that Minho had unhealed wounds. 

Minho then turned to me and Taemin. We were both holding our breath. I thought I would faint from uncertainty and fear. Minho then finally spoke, his teeth clenched as he adjusted Key on his back. “Joon is dead. Time to hide.” 

The sirens blared. 

A/N: <33 Slowly updating due to issues <33