I remember the first time I fainted during a dance practice. I recall crying nonstop at the hospital. Everyone thought that my tears were because of the pain this chronic illness was causing me, but the truth was I got scared, scared my dream as a singer would fade away. I felt so happy the first time I debuted with Wonder Girls that my mom joked around saying that my face would hurt if I kept smiling like that. But how could I not be full of joy? I knew Karma couldn't be so mean to me, so after several “no's” in my auditions to be an actress, I promised myself I would work harder and better to reach my dream. Therefore, when I received my first “yes” after such a long time, I couldn't believe my luck. My cheerfulness was the first virtue everyone saw in me but it was also the first thing they saw vanished that day at the hospital, because even if nobody had the guts to tell me, I already knew it was bad. I was not surprised when my parents didn't want me to keep going with my activities with Wonder Girls. However, I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I knew it was not their fault as they were watching for my health... But what they didn´t know is that, like stars, if I stopped glowing I could disappear into the darkness to never be found again.

The only word it comes to my mind when I accidentally think about it is 'emptiness'. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even cry anymore. I thought I could never recover from it. My parents got worried and many people thought I had a weak mind, so breakable... They couldn't understand how useless and how powerless I felt. How cruel was embrace your dream for a second and be separated from it in the next. That's why everytime CUBE's CEO, Hong Seung Sung called to persuade me to return to the stage I would refuse or I would tell my parents to say 'no' for me. I didn´t want to feel that horrible sensation of losing all you ever wanted again, the emptiness that leaves behind. Above all, I didn't want to live that again knowing it was because of me and my illness. After a while, my mom agreed on letting Hong Seung Sung meet me and I'm glad I let him speak at that time because his words brought me back from that dark and lonely hole I was hiding in: 

- ‘Hyuna, everyone has a rebellious period in life. Sickness can be cured in time. You already got a lot better. It’s not a sickness that can kill you so if you don’t work on achieving your dreams, don’t you think you will regret it later on? Think about the times you endured as a trainee. There is probably nothing you can’t do. That is why people always say to go back to the beginning. Think about what you wanted to do when you were dancing in the JYP practice rooms. I will help you find and achieve an even bigger dream. I hope for you to become an even stronger Hyuna.’

I knew then that if I wanted to reach my dream I would have to rely more on people and open my heart to them. After all, a star is never alone. In fact, it is always surrounded by others, empowering it and making it even brighter. That was the first time I sat with my family to eat since all happened. My mom cried, my dad cried, I cried. We talked for hours about my future plans and I assure them how much I loved them and how well I was going to take care of my health. The next morning the first thing I did was to pick up the phone with shaking hands to call CUBE's CEO:

- ‘Father. I want to start training again.’