Letter 378.        Dear _______!
 

It's now the 24.december.It's now one year ago that you left.I know I should be happy.You're now on a better place.Laughing and chatting with your grandparents and parents.You have to be really happy with them.I hope you think about me alot.And I hope you miss me alot too.I miss you.More than alot.

I rarely leave our apartment."Our".Now it's just "mine".It's so empty without you.I watch our pictures every day.I'm lost.Lost, cold and alone.You were my light.My everthing.You never saw me sad.Because I never was sad around you.

I miss your smile, when we walked across the sea and you saw children.We wanted to become a family.You made me happy.I think I never showed you how much you meant to me.

I'm still waiting that the door bell rang and you'll wait for me to open it because you forgot your keys.I will open it and hug you.You'll smile and talk about your day.I will listend and smile.Than we'll lunch together.Later we will cuddle and I will kiss your forehead and say that I love you.You'll blush and laugh with your angelic voice.

I hope that you'll return fast.And that I can hug you again.

I always see your pale face,your bloody boody in the hospital,and the doctor's coming and saying that you're already gone.You fighed for months but god decidet to take you with him.I see you holding my hand, I see the car.I hear my scream.I see the blood on your body.I hear Hana sobbing.Hana's gone too.She moved away because she can't live with it.

Maybe it's better now.You're save from now on.I hope you're waiting for me to join her.To intruduce me your parents and grandparents.

My loveley _____.I miss you.I will come someday.I will hug you from behind and kiss your neck.I hope you're waitng.I will join you my angel.I promise.

We'll meet very soon.Don't worry.I want you to know that I love you.I'll be always there for you.

I want you to tell so much things.It's been forever we talked.I couldn't even say goodbye.It was so fast.So unexpected.I hope you didn't felt alot pain.You looked so calm.So innocent and pure.Like an angel.

Do you remember the day we watched the rainbow ,and you said that someday we'll sit there together and watch our children and grandchildren being happy.Now you sit there alone and watch your sad lover.You wanted a grave just for us.In a heart shape.Now you lie there alone.I'm sorry fot that.

Your sister said that she was proud to have you as a sister.You were her hero and saver.She miss you so much.She have a fiance.His name is Baekhyun.A nice guy.You'd like him.She took a wonderfull dress for her incoming wedding.I said you would like it.She look like your mother.You would be so proud of her.

Words could never explain my love for you.Our love were like a lullaby.Piecefully.Loveley.I love you so much.I always bring red roses to your grave.Then I put out candles.The one you liked that much.You said they look like stars at night.I think they look like your eyes.

I told you If you die I want to die too.Your eys were wet and you said slight that I shouldn't do that.That's why I'm waitng for a sign.For a permission to come to you.

The doctor said It would help if I write letters to you.I hope you read them all.Umma said that I should let you go and be happy,and that you wouldn't wanted to see me like this.You would want me to be happy.But I think it's the best if I stop lying to myself that I can do this without you.I simply can't.It's like hell everytime I wake up or If I dream.Why didn't I stopped you?It was all my fault.It's my fault that you're dead.

What if you were here now.Would we have a baby?______ I have to sleep now.I'll write you a new letter later.I love you.Kai.